Did you throw your dc an 8th grade GRAD party?

[Bren's Mom]

Did your dc actually have a graduation?

And if your dc isn't doing so well in school would you still have a party if they graduated? (But just barely scraped by...due to laziness and lack of motivation not due to a learning disability or something else beyond their control.)

 

[wilderness01]

If they are doing poorly because of their own doing, then no, I would not throw them a party.

 

[ajh88]

FWIW, I had an 8th grade graduation and cake and punch with my family afterwards. I wouldn't call it a party per se, but it was still a celebration of my passage from junior high to high school (ah, the good old days). At my DSS's school, the school itself held a reception after the ceremony so we did not do a separate party for him - just took him out to dinner to "celebrate."

Personally, even if the child isn't doing great, I'd probably still do at least cake and punch or their favorite meal for dinner. For me, the transition from 8th grade to high school was a big deal (at the time!) - whether or not the school or my family said anything about it. But, I probably would have felt sad if no one in my family would have acknowledged it. Strangely enough, I probably cared more about my 8th grade graduation than my college graduation - weird, huh?

ETA: My grade school made a big deal out of 8th grade graduation - maybe because once upon a time the school actually went all the way through high school until a unified high school was built and it was a "tradition" they just kept up. Of course, that was many, many moons ago.

 

[momxx5]

No. The school makes no fuss about it whatsoever.

We didn't do anything last yr for my grad 8th grader. Should we have? I don't think anyone around here did.

Now, my 8th grader this year. Although we won't be doing anything, I'm willing to be that some of his friends may do something. Some in this group are a bit dramatic.

 

[SueInBoston]

We went to a fancy dinner to her 'wish' restaurant.

 

[georgina]

Our school has a recognition ceremony in the morning, after kids are free to go out to lunch with family, then school has a dance/party in the evening. That's it for graduation from 8th grade.

 

[neatokimmo]

No

I wouldn't reward poor behavior with a party. I also wouldn't celebrate passing the 8th grade, graduation to me implies a diploma/degree was obtained.

 

[DiznEeyore]

No

I wouldn't reward poor behavior with a party. I also wouldn't celebrate passing the 8th grade, graduation to me implies a diploma/degree was obtained.

I totally agree with this.

 

[castleview]

Our school has killed the cap and gown ceremony for eight grade (thank goodness!). The principal was getting tired of the whole to do. When my niece graduated, the reception in the cafeteria was obnoxious. Kids were opening their graduation presents (Coach purses, gift pack for four to a spa, Tiffany earrings, Iphones) in the caf. My sister couldn't believe it. While she and DH could afford those types of gifts, she just thought it was a little much and very inappropriate to give these gifts in the open.

 

[Todd&Copper]

I don't have children yet, but when I "graduated" from 8th grade, there was an apparent dearth of Special Snowflakes since I cannot recall anyone having a grad party. My sister and I always had a special lunch out with mom or dinner out with the whole family at the end of the school year, but not a party.

 

[java]

My son did very well in school and at his graduation we didn't have a "party" we all went out to dinner at the restaurant of his choice.(we don't have family close by so it wasn't an option for us)

 

[the Fidge]

I am originallly from New York and I was on the receiving end of a lovely dinner at my favorite restaurant and received a one step camera...can you tell I maybe over 20?? Here in PA I don't see the big celebrations of events I seen in New York. Some girls have flowers for the ceremony and no parties. I do like the fact that things are more simplified here. No horse drawn carriages for any event.

My DS will graduate middle school and plan to do something special for him. Not a party but something more budget friendly. Maybe take him out to his fav restaurant and a camera not a one step though!

 

[Resseda]

No

I wouldn't reward poor behavior with a party. I also wouldn't celebrate passing the 8th grade, graduation to me implies a diploma/degree was obtained.

Exactly.

This is one of my pet peeves. Graduation is what happens at the end of high school...not in pre-school, not in Kindergarten, not in Jr High. In addition to that...I have to believe it creates way-out-of-line expectations, because if you go out for a celebratory lunch for Kindergarten graduation with a 6 yr old, what are you going to do for your 12 year old when they graduate 6th grade?

We take my son out on the last day of school/exams just to celebrate the end of the year, and on the first day of school to be able to talk about it with him without distractions.

Ress

 

[the Fidge]

No

I wouldn't reward poor behavior with a party. I also wouldn't celebrate passing the 8th grade, graduation to me implies a diploma/degree was obtained.

When I graduated JR High aka Middle School we did receive a lovely diploma. I also do not believe it is a terrible thing to celebrate a childs achievement. The road ahead is full of moments that are not celebrated. Poor behavior is not descriptive of the learning challenged or disabled.

I don't know about you folks but I remember those years of Jr High filled with mood swings, body changes and feeling the sting of seeing friends change. I do thing these times are filled with temptations and battles these children are battling. Why not praise an accomplishment? Doing a "little" something I see it as a cheer for my child and that I am acknowledging their efforts.

My scale maybe different than someone elses, but I would rather enjoy the memory I had of my parents celebration one step camera and all. It is a treasured memory that I hold dear to my heart.

 

[patsal]

I did not. Here is how I viewed it. My DS did not do well in school partly his own fault, partly other things I will not get into. The school does not have a ceremony or invite any parents except those that are gettitng some kind of reward for excellence. No ceremony=no party. Ds moved to HS the same year DD moved up to MS. As a large gift to both I booked the last two nights of our vacation at AKL CL and we did the early am safari. It was their gift and a great surprise.
This year DD moves up from MS to HS. She is a very strong student. If there is a ceremony I will have a cake or other means of celebrating for the four of us, if not I'll say job well done and we'll move along to prepare for HS. Many people make such a big deal out of little milestones that there is nothing left when the time to celebrate the big stuff comes up. We will have a very nice graduation party for DS when he graduates from HS and of course one for DD when she graduates as well. I am excited for them, but really getting through pre-K is no reason to have a huge party, again after K, after 5th grade, and after 8th grade. IMHO when you get the real diploma we can have a party!

 

[allison443]

When I graduated JR High aka Middle School we did receive a lovely diploma. I also do not believe it is a terrible thing to celebrate a childs achievement. The road ahead is full of moments that are not celebrated. Poor behavior is not descriptive of the learning challenged or disabled.

I don't know about you folks but I remember those years of Jr High filled with mood swings, body changes and feeling the sting of seeing friends change. I do thing these times are filled with temptations and battles these children are battling. Why not praise an accomplishment? Doing a "little" something I see it as a cheer for my child and that I am acknowledging their efforts.

My scale maybe different than someone elses, but I would rather enjoy the memory I had of my parents celebration one step camera and all. It is a treasured memory that I hold dear to my heart.

Since you were brave enough to post, I will jump in. My kids attended a K through 8th grade Catholic grammar school. The school does have a graduation mass/ceremony with (horrors!) caps and gowns and diplomas!! A number of the kids did have parties. There are anywhere from 40 to 50 kids in the 8th grade, and after 8th grade, the kids are splitting up and attending 8 or 9 different high schools. So it is a pretty close-knit group.
For my kids, we had a family barbecue. I certainly don't think that "graduating" from 8th grade is any huge achievement. It was more of a milestone, family celebration. My girls went on to attend a very competitive high school on scholarship, one is graduating from hs and one from college this year, and I anticipate advanced degrees in their future. I don't think that "celebrating" their 8th grade graduation sent them the wrong message in terms of their academic careers.

ETA, this is only our personal situation but our girls are certainly expected/assumed to graduate from high school. That doesn't mean that we don't celebrate that milestone, even though it is expected of them.

 

[allison443]

Exactly.

This is one of my pet peeves. Graduation is what happens at the end of high school...not in pre-school, not in Kindergarten, not in Jr High. In addition to that...I have to believe it creates way-out-of-line expectations, because if you go out for a celebratory lunch for Kindergarten graduation with a 6 yr old, what are you going to do for your 12 year old when they graduate 6th grade?

We take my son out on the last day of school/exams just to celebrate the end of the year, and on the first day of school to be able to talk about it with him without distractions.

Ress

I guess I just don't understand the real difference between what you actually do (take your son out on the last day of school EVERY YEAR "just to celebrate the end of the year") and what you are criticizing ("a celebratory lunch for Kindergarten graduation with a six year old").
I think it is nice that you go out for lunch, I guess I am missing something.

 

[jiggerj]

I kinda put a twist on the 8th grade graduation party for dd. I did a "Hello High School!" party for her. She did very well in her previous school years and wanted to encourage her dedication to her studies to continue. It was just family at home but it was alot of fun!

 

[Bren's Mom]

Thanks for all of the replies everyone!

Here's where we're at; my dss will be completing 8th grade this year. His mom just asked dh if we'd host a party, with her contributing half and with all 3 of our families attending for dss 8th grade graduation. My dh never had an 8th grade graduation or party, and wasn't a great student. I was a good student and did have an actual graduation ceremony and my parents did have a party for me. (A family BBQ, we're not talking one of those crazy 'rent a limo and hire a band' kind of parties like people have today.) So dh and I come at this from different angles. Plus, because of our individual educational backgrounds I think that if you're slacking that shouldn't be rewarded, he likes to give dss alot more leeway in this regard. SO...that's the reason for my post. Was curious how others felt. We still don't know if there IS an actual graduation ceremony. But...I LOVED this idea...

I kinda put a twist on the 8th grade graduation party for dd. I did a "Hello High School!" party for her. She did very well in her previous school years and wanted to encourage her dedication to her studies to continue. It was just family at home but it was alot of fun!

If dss gets his act in gear and does some good work for the rest of the year, and even if there's no actual grad ceremony, I think a family 'Hello High School' pool party BBQ, with ALL of his family together (something every child of divorced parents prizes) would be ok.

 

[pjlla]

DD graduates 8th grade this spring and I have been talking to her about having a party for her class... not a family/friends party just for her. She would like to invite her entire pod (about 40 kids) over for an afternoon party. Just hanging around the yard (no swimming.... too many to be safe), music, games, pizza, chips, etc. I am thinking about doing it, but I told her that this would be in lieu of a big birthday party (she usually has a big shin-dig for her b.day in the summer).

FWIW, she is a great kid, straight A student and is aiming to be class valedictorian (but I'm not sure she will make it). She isn't one of the "populars" so I am sure that there are kids who wouldn't come. But even 25 kids would be a big party....................P