"Did Pluto Just Give You A Lap Dance?" 10 days of Naughty & Nice!

[DisneyGalUK]

Im here, bring on the funny!

Treynors favourite goalkeeper could be one Paddy Kenny - goalie for Sheffield United...Just sayin'!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Im here, bring on the funny!

Treynors favourite goalkeeper could be one Paddy Kenny - goalie for Sheffield United...Just sayin'!

I will put that on his stalker list...

Treyner really loves the fact he has women giving him all sorts of advice...kind of like marriage!

 

[DisneyGalUK]

I will put that on his stalker list...

Treyner really loves the fact he has women giving him all sorts of advice...kind of like marriage!

 

[CantWaitToGo2007]

Hi Dawn. I just found your TR yesterday, had to go back and read the PTR first, and am finally caught up

I do have to thank you for the wonderful PTR You see we are snowed in, literally, I can't even open our back door. I really needed the laughs yesterday

Waiting for the details of day one

Nanette

 

[Dizneydawn]

Hi Dawn. I just found your TR yesterday, had to go back and read the PTR first, and am finally caught up

I do have to thank you for the wonderful PTR You see we are snowed in, literally, I can't even open our back door. I really needed the laughs yesterday

Waiting for the details of day one

Nanette

Sure...no pressure...I need to get all these groceries and make food for Christmas Eve...so it may be a bit delayed...oh...screw it...I will do a prelimenary...leading up to arrival...since I have no pics...yes I suck...I admit it...I did become Polly Polaroid after I arrived....but before...was more like...anti-Abby...stressed! Most my fault!

Thanks for reading the PTR - I will be putting the links into this one so you donot have to slog through all the comments if you do not want to!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Chapter 1: "Eat Beans if you need Gas!"

December 4th - It was a Thursday...cold and with snow outside as usual...
Can I say I was excited to leave...?

The night before I had "encouraged the kids to make sure they were all packed...each kid had a carry-on for their luggage. That was it.

Yes I am a cruel, evil woman...but I refuse to pay $15 per suitcase...each way when we have a washer/dryer for the whole stay. You never wear what you think you will...and overpacking is the devils work mama. (Insert Bobby's voice (aka Adam Sandler) form Waterboy here!)

Dan and I thought we were all good...then the night before...we hit our local Goodwill...and found 2 awesome travel bags that were brand new for cheap...that still worked as carry-on's and yet were a bit more roomy. So we bought them...Treyner got a backpack that is hiker/camper style...ton's of room..and Carsyn got an American Tourister duffel. Cost: $20! Total!

Did not consider that Carsyn is a planner...an overthinker...a freak of wrapping her mind around new ideas...and this new bag caused her some stress.

To me...the idea was...move your crud to the new bag...stick the rest of your needed schtufff into it...and move on...

Silly me...

This new bag caused her to react like a cat to new furniture...

She paced...she tilted her head in awe...stalked the perimeter...she looked at this bag like it just fell from Mars...

There was so much to consider... do you roll the clothes now?...do you fold?...do you now put underwear in the side pocket?...Will Phil the airport security guy see my goods if I put them in a side pocket?

No joke...so I left her...my daughter...to contemplate the laws of gravity...and how to re-pack into a new bag...

Next morning...

The alarm went off at 4 a.m. ...yes..4 a.m. for a 7 plus p.m. flight.

Why you query?

Because I decided to have a blow-out inventory sale that day for all my extra Tupperware schtufff...

Yes...I like whips and chains and long walks in dungeons...My name is Mofesha Iwannakillyou....

I wanted some extra spending money...and I refuse to use credit cards if at all possible...

I am not evil enough to ask my kids to help out without bribery...I will ask with goods...and for Treyner...who had to put out my signs...in artic temps...

those goods are...

Caramel Rolls...homemade...with the help of Rhodes...

just sayin...but I do make them my own with caramel sauce and Pecans...with the help of some nut guy...

So...Dan who had to work...scrambled to get out the door...I threw together my rolls...finished my packing...and woke up the kids...

The same kids who claim to be self-sufficent teens..were not packed..were not ready...their clothes was scattered...and Carsyn's defense was...

"But you got me a new bag."

I said...
"Yes...at 7 p.m. yesterday...you did not go to bed until 10:30 p.m."

But alas...I am trying to stop being over responsible..

I simply explained that she would be wearing her brother's boxers if she was not ready...at 5p.m....when we left...and walked out of her room...

The kids ate an entire 9x13 pan of caramel rolls...plus eggs...and then Treyner went out of the house at 7 a.m. to put signs out.

He came back a popsickle at 7:30... and the kids left.

Baylor was packed...Dip and Spit needed to do so at 2:30 when they arrived from school...and my sale was set up...so I was ready...

I sold over $300 worth of Tupperware ...so extra spending money was achieved...and having it from 9-4 was awesome...

Except for the visit from the City Road person...who explained I cannot attach my signs to the bottom of stop signs...

I explained that my son did that...and he gave me till 4 p.m. to get them down...

I said if anyone needs a ticket...his name is spelled..."T - R - E - Y - N - E - R...."...

Hello...I have a trip...they would go easy on him...

Anyway...kids came home...and still no Dan...who had called at 1 p.m. roughly to ask if there was any thing I needed and he should be here by 1:30 p.m....and yet...no Dan...now at 2:45 p.m.

Then the call came..."Ummm...where is Treyner? I ran out of Gas."

Next: Chapter 1 continued...do we wait for Dan or do we say "Snooze you looze!"

 

[winkers]

You say that all shocked and awed...like how could she breed cute kids?

I did not!!!

 

[DisneyGalUK]

Yes...I like whips and chains and long walks in dungeons...My name is Mofesha Iwannakillyou....

Mofesha, you rose to the challenge and brought the funny, baby! Woohoo!
Now of course, from laughing so loud my neighbours think I have a 'disorder' I am destined to spend Christmas alone with no neighbourly visits and only your trip report for company - so more chapters please!

 

[Dizneydawn]

I did not!!!

You crack me up! Do your kids have your sense of humor? We need to meet!

Mofesha, you rose to the challenge and brought the funny, baby! Woohoo!
Now of course, from laughing so loud my neighbours think I have a 'disorder' I am destined to spend Christmas alone with no neighbourly visits and only your trip report for company - so more chapters please!

Thank you...I am glad I can add to my non-Catholic self, more guilt. Now Kelly has no neighbors. She is alone and cold on Christmas...all because I caused her to spew her liquid beverage...because she chuckled...chortled and guffawed...

I wil try and get the rest of day one done tonight!

 

[winkers]

sounds like Santa needs to bring Dan a gas can for christmas!!

 

[Dizneydawn]

sounds like Santa needs to bring Dan a gas can for christmas!!

ohhhh...that is soooo good...you are pure genious with a slight twist of evil...

Looove you for that one....

BTW: Joke that you just reminded me of....

Why does Santa have the best job?


Because he has a list of where all the naughty girls live!


Okay - my 6 footer just told me that one...laughed at him laughing...but I gotta admit...it was pretty good!

 

[Dizneydawn]

Day 1 Continued: "We Ain't Scared of no Po Po's"

When our superheroes left off...they were seperated by 30 miles and a tank of gas...

ME: "Exactly where are you right now?"

DAN: "On the side of the road between X and Y."

ME: "How did you run out of gas exactly?"

DAN: "I never drive this car and I thought there was enough to get me home there and back this morning when I left...I was not paying attention to the gas gauge on the way back...worried about what I still had to do...so yeah...Where is Treyner or someone else who can come and bring gas?"

ME: "He is busy pulling signs so he doesn't get thrown in Sing Sing with a cellmate named Bubba."

DAN: "What?"

ME: "Never mind...you will have to hold tight until he gets back...forget about the fact that it is 15 degrees outside...cause if you miss the plane...you will have plenty of time to warm up in your casket."

OKay...maybe I improvised a tad...but it was vey similar to that...Treyner arrived just about 3 mintes after that...probably due to my hysterical phone call...he just walked in and asked where he was...I explained and it is an area that is a pain to get to...MN has many roads that are only one way exits...like you can get on from the north but not the south...I guess they assume all people living or working there only need to travel one way...like homing pigeons...

Sidebar: Why is there not a bird smiley? What are the chances of someone needing a squirrel and not a bird? I mean yes I have used the squirrel in times of need...(Ex: the nut guy reference) but where is a bird when you need it? I am not being picky here either. I could care less if it is seagull, pelican, robin or vulture...just give me the bird please...All I want for Christmas is the bird...


And yes...I believe when Dan first called...I had my ever destained habit of asking...
"What do you mean you ran out of gas?"

Because it takes a while for things to set in with me...and for that 2 seconds of normal reaction time most people have...when they contemplate their verbage...I ask the stupidest question...to an obvious statement...and it drives everyone batty at my home...

It's like Rainman meets Forrest Gump... I AM RAIN GUMP!

BTW...the time was 3:20 p.m. our ride was arriving at 5:00 p.m. and yeah...I did not pannic too bad...no temper tantrum or melt down...just a simple..."Get gas...get Dan...get home...and if you run into traffic...which rush hour in Minneapolis area is likely...drive on the side of the road...and tell the police when they pull you over that you are on a mission from God...cause if you two don't make it back in time for the plane...you will be meeting Him. Love you honey. Put your seatbelt on."

About 50 minutes later...they did make it in time...Treyner was frazzled because he had not finished packing...his excuse was he thought he would have 2-3 hours form the time he got home to pack...he did not know he would need to get signs and get Dan.

I explained while blinking intently...that the real world is about having responsibilities for others...and that is why procrastinatation is not your friend...and this is my life he exists in...and welcome to it...cause he should know that something always goes wrong...and there is always something to do...just assume you and your needs are screwed...and life will be just great. So hurry along...you now have less that 20 to finish...and don't forget your Disney Money...Love You the most... Happpy 18th birthday...welcome to adulthood...you look good with frustration...you should wear it more often!

So yes...we all made it home to leave..and yes..we were all ready by 5:20 to head out the door...and that is where we will say...

TO BE CONTINUED:

 

[TeaForTulips]

that was tre fabu thus far! too funny!

ready and waiting for more!

 

[Dizneydawn]

that was tre fabu thus far! too funny!

ready and waiting for more!

Well...thanks...again..my PTR was much funnier...in case you are bored with nothing to do...but...we are just ramping up..and I am glad you are waiting patiently...not throwing popcorn balls at the screen while I bake a million cookies...

WELCOME!!!

 

[winkers]

Merry Christmas...........

Several years ago my mother in law ran out of gas the week before christmas. Santa gave her a gas can..

 

[Dizneydawn]

Merry Christmas everyone.

Regardless if you are gathering with family these next few days, have a different faith or do not have a preferrred faith...please acknowledge those you love and hold them close. It is never to late to want to have a better life and a closer relationship with those you love...and it is always the right time to find passion in your life...

I hope to have time to write the rest of day one and into day two in the next few days...

For all you lurkers...

My Christmas Wish...

FOR YOU TO SHOW THYSELF! Readers are who make all of us write these trip reports...it's fun to know who is reading!

 

[TeaForTulips]

Well...thanks...again..my PTR was much funnier...in case you are bored with nothing to do...but...we are just ramping up..and I am glad you are waiting patiently...not throwing popcorn balls at the screen while I bake a million cookies...

WELCOME!!!

I'm on page 21 of your PTR and I now have my sister (another Disney freak... it runs in our family ) reading it also... We work together but a few hundred feet away in the same building so we instant message each other about what part we are on. Too funny! With my job there is always something to do, so spending my day on the DIS boards is not good!
Although, with the million things I have to do this evening it is certainly helping the day pass with less stress.

Your Christmas post was very lovely. Can you believe this year went by so fast?

"I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people beloew them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys." - Charles Dickens

Merry Christmas!

 

[DisSisters]

OMG, I think my blood pressure just went up reading that last post lol. You're writing is great, it really gave me a good laugh. I just read your PTR and that story about the Crusher and Gusher is so funny. The first time me and my sister went on the CMs tell you to lift your butt up and I thought that meant ya know just for when you first push off to start the ride, but definitely not. The little roller things like hit you constantly in the butt, the ride was like Ow Ow Ow, (you go downhill) wee!, (back uphill) Ow Ow OW. Then when we went on again, we kept our tushies up and when we came down the shoot when you go into the pool part I went like flying off the tube into the water. Keep up the funny stories and have a Merry Christmas!

 

[winkers]

Merry Christmas Dawn!

 

[MEK]

OMG Dawn - How did you stay so calm with all that going on? Kids not packed, tupperware sale, a DH who runs out of gas two hours before you are due to leave for the airport. What a humorous tale. It was making me nervous!