Did I do the right thing? (Parenting help needed)

[Disneyrsh]

Eh, I'd blame it on the candy.

We had a double blowout in tennis practice yesterday, both kids acting horribly, not sitting still, getting put on the sidelines. I had let them munch on their halloween candy beforehand, KNOWING that sugar makes them crazy but foolishly thinking that it was tennis, they'd be running around, getting the sugar rush out.

Nope, they just ended up not being able to concentrate, follow directions or behave appropriately. By the time they got through practice I was BOILING mad at their behavior, the coaches were like, what's up with your kids today?!

So, we went home and I dumped the rest of the halloween candy in the trash.

In your original post you had mentioned she had candy on her hands. I'd say that's a big culprit in affecting her behavior.

 

[DVC Jen]

You totally did the right thing. Giving into these "fits" is the same as giving into manipulation.. and they will only escalate if you do that.

It isn't always the easiest thing to do.. but stick to your guns. It will make life harder right now, but in the long run it is what is best for you children and for you.

hang in there.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Yes, sounds like you did pretty well trying to 'do the right thing'!!!

About the 'counting'. I do kind of agree with a no-counting approach. I think I like the 'ONE reminder... Then immediate consistant consequenses'.

To me counting is still giving the child that additional bit of control and power. ONE reminder... Maybe two, for younger children. And children who are learning this system. Then, immediately begin appropriately (gather up belongings... time out.... whatever)

That would be the SuperNanny approach!


Ohhhh, just a note: When it comes to very young children, it is important to consider if there may be 'trigger'. Is the child over-extended or stressed. Are there other issues. Is there a possible valid reason that the child is having a negative reaction?

 

[Wishing on a star]

Hey, the 'candy' part had not really registered wth me...

That would go along with my 'trigger' comments!!!

 

[Disneyrsh]

Yeah, give my kids candy and their fuse shortens to about a millimeter!

Otherwise they're reasonable, easygoing, well behaved kids-but man, give them candy/soda, and it's MONSTER time.

Needless to say, no soda in our house, and we eat fruit instead of candy most of the time (for some reason doesn't cause the same reaction!)

 

[CathrynRose]

I think you absolutely did the right thing. It sounds as though she is trying to engage you in a little power struggle at home since she follows the rules and is well-behaved at daycare. Be firm and consistent at this young age, and don't allow her the control in your parent/child relationship. Let her know your groundrules now--that you will not give in to whining and tantrums (and do know that *all* kids will do both of those things!). Better to set these proper expectations for her behavior at age four than at 14 (although every age will have it's struggles)!

Ya' done good, Mom!

I agree - you did good. At 5 y/o (and having gone there several times in the past) she knows the rules... she was, exactly what you said - throwing a fit. And I feel you showed her that throwing fits such as these, will get her nothing....

I agree - very good.

 

[ChrisLei]

You definitely did the right thing. THis way she knows that whining is not going to get her what she wants and better yet, it will have her lose certain privileges.

 

[Wishing on a star]

disneyrsh,

Hhhhmmmm.... Could it possibly be the caffiene, red dyes, etc.... more than just the sugar.

Sugar does not affect my DS unless he really overdoes it!!!

 

[HollyJoy]

Well, we are always left with wondering if we did the right thing. As for if you did, well I would say yes and no. I think that Yes, you did the right thing as to not put up with the behavior and take her home... but I would have given her a warning first.. tell her, "if you don't stop the whining and start cooperating, we will go home and miss class." Give her a chance to correct the behavior. However, in the end, I'm sure she got the message that you are not going to accept that type of behavior, and I would be surprised if she acted that way again!

 

[Beth76]

My feeling on the counting thing is that it doesn't relinquish control. To me, it's giving control of their actions to the child. Which is what I want. I want my son to be able to make his own choices. They may not always be good, but then he'll suffer the consequence. I really don't see the difference between "counting" and "warnings". They both give "time" for the child to think about what they're going to do.

 

[Aidensmom]

My feeling on the counting thing is that it doesn't relinquish control. To me, it's giving control of their actions to the child. Which is what I want. I want my son to be able to make his own choices. They may not always be good, but then he'll suffer the consequence. I really don't see the difference between "counting" and "warnings". They both give "time" for the child to think about what they're going to do.

I agree about the counting, I don't see how it is any different than a warning. The moment I say "One," my son knows if he doesn't do as I asked, there will be consequences. Isn't that what a warning is?