Did Clay Aiken come out?

[GoofyDad869]

That's kind of sad for them -- don't you think? That is a heavy price to pay for the fame.

Yep, it is. But there's that flip-side of fame that nobody seems to realize when they 'sign-up'. Your 'life' is not your own, in a lot of aspects. I think it's like you have a job - you like it, but not all aspects of it. There's usually stupid amounts of mega-money involved, more than I'd probably see in my life. I can't judge somebody's decision to/not to.

If he says he's straight - sure, I believe him, unless I personally know of evidence to the contrary.

As far as any given person being gay/straight - Big Deal AS IT APPLIES TO ME. That's my 'hetero' rose-colored-glasses view on it. I don't know what it's like to be gay, out or in, so I don't really have a viewpoint on that.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

But I never said that.

I just think it would be hard to live like that. I wouldn't like to go around pretending I'm gay, all the time; would you?

I've said this, like 100 times now, but my friend said she heard he'd come out on the news yesterday -- I was just wondering, and now I'm really sorry I was wondering!

No, you are right. But the thing is, it's still hard for gay people, you know, it just makes it so much easier if someone so well liked comes out, because it makes it that much harder for people to hate or at least not except gay people.

I understand what your friend said, and I understand your question.

To date he hasn't come out nor is it his responsibility to do so to make others more comfortable with their sexuality.

 

[cardaway]

If he is gay...

To come out would totally kill his career. If it's not adults dropping him because of it, it would be parents refusing to buy CD's or allow their kids listen to the gay guy.

It will never happen until he's old enough for it not to matter anymore.

Many, many, examples in the entertainment business. Keep the mystery until the truth can't hurt you.... much.

 

[Fantasmic303]

I'm sure it is important to them. And to their families and friends. But not very important to me, a complete and total stranger. Which is not to say that I don't care about gay rights, but that if some guy named Bob from Tallahassee decides to come out this afternoon, it won't affect my life at all.

I totally agree. Bob from Tallahassee, to some degree, can choose to whom he comes out to. He can tell his friends and his family, and maybe a friend of a friend of a friend of his high school nemesis finds out, but, for the most part, it's his personal life, and it's private until he wants to make it known...like, for example, when he wants to ask another guy out on a date.

For a celebrity or public figure, once you're out, you're out. In some cases, it comes to define them. So, while Bob from Tallahassee can, in theory, go to work every day and NOT make his lifestyle part of his office personality, that's not an option for a public figure.

 

[auntpolly]

nor is it his responsibility to do so to make others more comfortable with their sexuality.

And in fact, I said just about that exact same thing about 30 posts back -- that it is certainly not his responsibility.

 

[ead79]

\
Didn't say he was....oh, boy I screwed up by asking this question....

No worries, I know you didn’t. I was just saying that it bugs me in general.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

And in fact, I said just about that exact same thing about 30 posts back -- that it is certainly not his responsibility.

Actually you agreed with me--but then you went on about how it makes other gays feel better when a celebrity does come out.

I am reading this as "you don't have to--but it would be really really really nice if it were true that you did so that others feel confident".

I guess I don't see why you said what you said if you don't care if he does or he doesn't.

While true that we all have our role models and positive things they do make us feel better and maybe even more confident about ourselfs--it reads as though you are taking to opposing opinions. It doesn't matter, but it should.

I am now officially confused on this thread.

 

[chris1gill]

Since one's sexuality is important, I would like to state for the record, I may be heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual or not interested in sex at all.

Me Too, what she said!!

 

[Octoberbeauty]

I don't understand why people think he's gay in the first place! He doesn't seem gay to me at all. He's even said he wasn't, so why won't people just accept that? It has got to be extremely frustrating for someone (anyone) to be constantly accused of being something they're not.
For people who think he's gay, if you won't accept his word for it, what in the world does he have to do to prove that he's not?!

 

[lucyblondecat]

So you guys think it's not important to come out?

For all of my gay friends, it was VERY important to come out -- it was a big thing, kind of like liberation day.

Now if someone doesn't want to, it's none of my business, but don't make it seem like it doesn't matter to gay people. They are very proud of themselves for having come out. And IMO, rightly should be.

I'll be honest and say I'm interested if Clay Aiken comes out. I'd buy the magazine that contains the article where he comes out. Not because I think it would help the entire gay community, but because I'm nosey when it comes to celebrities. I like people in general, and I think all sorts of things make them unique and interesting -- including their sexuality.

So sue me or flame me, either way I understand why you asked the question Aunt Polly. Its o.k. to be interested and doesn't make you a homophobe. LOL!

I love the DIS!

 

[lucyblondecat]

I don't understand why people think he's gay in the first place! He doesn't seem gay to me at all. He's even said he wasn't, so why won't people just accept that? It has got to be extremely frustrating for someone (anyone) to be constantly accused of being something they're not.
For people who think he's gay, if you won't accept his word for it, what in the world does he have to do to prove that he's not?!

To me he seems 100% asexual. Especially with that new kd lang hair-do.

The boy can sing though.

 

[Fantasmic303]

I don't understand why people think he's gay in the first place! He doesn't seem gay to me at all. He's even said he wasn't, so why won't people just accept that? It has got to be extremely frustrating for someone (anyone) to be constantly accused of being something they're not.
For people who think he's gay, if you won't accept his word for it, what in the world does he have to do to prove that he's not?!

Octoberbeauty is my favorite.

 

[auntpolly]

I don't mean to pick on Clay -- the burden of legitimizing homosexuality does not rest completely on him .

I just think that the only way we're going to get over any problems we all have with homosexuality is when we all have a brother or a son or a favorite singer that is gay.

That's why those gay magazines used to "out" people all the time -- it was like, "admit it -- we all have to be out in the open for everyone's good."

(Not saying it's OK to out people -- I was always uncomfortable with that. But I am relieved when someone can be true to themselves and others.)

This is what I said -- and I mean it -- and I think it's great when celebrities come out, but I never ever said Clay should.......Can I stop defending myself now???????

 

[lucyblondecat]

This is what I said -- and I mean it -- and I think it's great when celebrities come out, but I never ever said Clay should.......Can I stop defending myself now???????

I'd say the DIS odds are not in your favor.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

That is a laudable goal, but I don't think it's worth violating someone's privacy.

Whether it is Clay Aiken, or any other public figure, if they have chosen not to discuss their sexuality in public, that's their choice. They shouldn't be forced (or expected) to make a public declaration just because it would further another group's interest.

I agree that someone shouldn't have to come out. It's really their business and I would never want some "outed". When my BIL came out he first did it with his family and then went and took on Disney. Most people wouldn't have done it quite like he did (he was kicked out of Disneyland in I think 1980 for dancing with a guy and went on to fight it--and won).

Making it so public is not for most g/l, however, someone in the media spotlight is naturally going to get a lot more attention when they come out of the closet than the average person.

Having said that, I personally don't care if Clay is gay and it's totally up to him if he is gay and comes out of the closet. It's sad that so many people are unaccepting that all this is even an issue.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

This is what I said -- and I mean it -- and I think it's great when celebrities come out, but I never ever said Clay should.......Can I stop defending myself now???????

You know how it is on the DIS...these threads live on and have a life of their own.

Maybe you should just keep quoting yourself.

 

[mickeymousemom]

I haven't read the WHOLE thread, but didn't find it confusing at all. The OP wondered if Clay had announced he was gay...the 1st person to answer thought the OP was asking if he'd been on stage last night on AI. The OP then got herself confused by what Helenabear posted. I knew all along what was being said...

And by the way...I LOVE Clay's new look!

 

[Fantasmic303]

This is what I said -- and I mean it -- and I think it's great when celebrities come out, but I never ever said Clay should.......Can I stop defending myself now???????

Auntpolly, I promise not to dredge up anything else you've said, unless you say something new I need to reply to.

See? It's not so fun having to be on the defensive about things that really shouldn't be such a big deal to a bunch of strangers.

 

[RickinNYC]

Is Clay gay? Frankly, I don't care if he is or not. I've always come from the school of thought that if I don't have a chance in hell to date someone, or the desire to do so, then I don't care whether the guy in question is gay or straight. That said, I don't find Mr. Clay even remotely attractive so as far as he is concerned, a big whatever.

But that's me. There are a number of gay men and lesbians who would just like all celebrities to come out and admit their sexuality publically. I completely understand why. Whether from the stand point of a terrified, closeted high school student, or a close minded prejudiced homophobic individual, seeing one's idol in a different light could potentially be an eye-opening experience.

That poor closeted gay kid could realize that if someone else, i.e. Ellen Degeneres, Chad Allen, Nathan Lane, Rupert Everett, Clive Barker, etc... could be gay and BE OK AND NORMAL, then so can they. It's a liberating thought when one realizes you're not alone.

And what about the stereotypical homophobic beer swiggin', ignore wife on Monday nights, ESPN lovin' homophobic guy (yeah, a stereotype - we all have them, you have them too!)? He learns that Esera Tualo of the Green Bay Packers, Roy Simmons of the New York Giants and Billy Bean of the San Diego Padres... gay, gay, gay. That's eye opening from a different perspective in that he realizes that these great athletes are manly of men, that can quite honestly, beat you to a pulp. That light goes off... heck, it's ok to be... if they're gay then maybe if's ok if my son....

Choosing to come out is a very, very personal decision. Some find it very easy to do. I've known more men and women who tell me that stepping into their first gay bar was an amazing experience. To see others who felt the same way. To not feel ostracized. And there are others who feel that stepping into that same gay bar was absolutely horrifying. I'm in that camp, thanks for asking. I hated coming out and it took a long, long time.

Whether good feelings or bad, coming out is hard. I can't imagine what it must be like to be a well known celebrity, idolized by millions, and be secretly in the closet, having every single move I make, every word I utter, studied, recorded, photographed, filmed. Will I ever deny them the right to remain in said closet? Hell no. As previously stated, it's a personal choice. But if that celebrity does come out, I feel a vicarious feeling of great pride that they did so. I feel that it takes a huge amount of courage to admit publically something that will likely turn them into sinners to some, evil and immoral to others, and mentally sick to even more.

Should they come out? It'd be great if they did, sure. To give just that much more visibility to the majority that being gay is within the normal limits of society. In this day and age, in the 21st century, knowing that same-sex marriage between two consenting adults is under attack and may very well be prevented due to an ammendment coming up for vote soon, anything and every little thing helps. But to be an openly gay man who would look with scorn upon someone else who chooses not to come out as well is a fruitless endeavor, no pun intended. As an openly gay man, I and others should just let it be, understand that life isn't easy, and that who one sleeps with is a personal matter.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I could care less if Clay is gay or not - I thought he looked great last night, and I LOVE his voice!