DH is sooo mad at his mom...

[BabyTigger99]

We were visiting my DH's sister on Saturday, and talking about what we had gotten the kids for Christmas. His sister let it slip that DH's mom had gotten a CELLPHONE for his DD (AGE 10!!!!). DH's question is what does a 10 year old need a cell phone for??? DH is divorced from DD's mom, and she is with her mom during the week. We have her every weekend. She has no one that she needs to call, she doesn't even like talking on the phone. DH and I have already decided that the phone will stay at our house (if it goes to her mom's, her mom will use the minutes), she isn't going to take it anywhere, so it doesn't get lost, and if she wants more minutes, she will have to earn them. I just think it is such a waste of a Christmas present. Sorry for the rant...

 

[franw]

I realize that every family's dynamics are different but as a grandmother of three, I cannot imagine making a purchase like a cell phone without asking my son and daughter-in-law first. I wouldn't even buy one of the kids a skateboard or rollerblades without checking first.
But rather than add fuel to the fire, I can only assume that your DH's mom was thinking how excited she would be to get her first cellphone. Also, around here, kids of all ages have them to keep in touch with their parents more than anything although I would say that a ten year old should never be anywhere her parents can't reach her.
Once your DH cools off, if family dynamics allow, maybe he could talk to his mom and talk it through a bit. A phone extension in her room might be more appropriate.
She could be just a worrier like me and think that her granddaughter might run into a situation where the cellphone might come in handy. She obviously loves the child so let that be your lead-in. In any event, a family argument at Christmas wouldn't be in anyone's best interest, especially the little one's.

 

[BabyTigger99]

In response, it is not something that is going to ruin Christmas, by any stretch of the imagination. He is just mad that we had told his sister to not get her the cell phone, and when his sister told his mom that, she just decided to go get her one anyways.

 

[Robinrs]

I gave my 10yo son 30 mins on a Tracfone for a trip to Orlando in May. Sure, he thought it was cool, but I only let him carry it for the times we were separated.

Afterwards I confiscated it and let the minutes expire. He took it outside once to show to his friends and they treated it like a ball!

I guess it depends on the situation. I think 10 is a bit too young and immature to handle a cellphone. If they do give her one I hope it's one that they can control the minutes. It could be an important lesson in budgeting if nothing else.

 

[mudnuri]

why did your DH tell his sister, and not his mother not to get the phone? It would seem it was something that needed to be discussed between DH and MIL not DH and SIL.

On another note, When I attended a wedding in Atlanta 2 years ago- I was taken by suprise the amount of 10-13 year olds at the wedding/hotel/reception that had their own cell phones. I couldnt believe it.

However- my nephew, 14 just got a cell phone for his birthday..he is very responsible with his minutes, (more than his mother !!!)...he uses it to contact his dad when football practice is running late, or he is in town (VERY SMALL TOWN...2 red lights that it!)...and is ready to be picked up on a Saturday afternoon etc.

I will say that if my mother or mother in law purchased a cell phone for my DD's at any age, I'd flip...thats a decision that is made amongst DH and myself!

Good luck with this!

Brandy

 

[Serena]

Hmmm, I would be angry too if my mom did something like that knowing I didn't want it.
But my mom wouldn't have let that stop her. I would just have to take the cell phone until I decided she was ready for it.





I wish my mom were still around to fight with.

 

[Keli]

I'm pretty lucky that my mom has always shown me respect as a parent myself and doesn't do things like that to me or my daughter. I don't blame your dh for being upset, I would be too.

 

[KathyFP]

At least thought of him. I have a MIL that has not ever... I mean ever bought DD (5 1/2) anything. Even cam to my baby shower empty handed and left with tons of leftovers.

 

[eeyoreforever]

I don't even have a cell phone, so my 10 year old sure doesn't need one. She does have a friend who is 10 also that has a cell phone. This little girl just lives with her mom, so when she gets out of school, her mom is at work. She has to call her mom when she steps off of the bus and talk to her until she is home and locked inside the house. For that purpose, I could understand having one, but otherwise, I don't think children need cell phones.

 

[dianeschlicht]

I don't even want to get into the discussion about 10 year olds having cell phones, but what about a gift that costs the recipient? Kind of presumptious to give a gift that has a monthly bill attached to it! That being said, we did give our adult DD a cell phone a couple years ago, but we prepaid it for a year and have renewed it as an addititional gift. She never goes over her minimum minutes, so it isn't an issue for either her or us.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Is his mom wealthy and can afford the monthy bills the daughter will rack up?

I don't know? While it is crummy that she did not respect your wishes, it is also not good that you did not speak to her directly about the issue. Going through In-laws with fights is not the best way to handle disagreements.

I will say that most of the divorced kids have Cells around here. I don't think it is a bad idea esp if the kids are constantly shuffling with school activities, etc. That gets hard to manage.

 

[RUDisney]

I can feel your pain. I think that my MIL will be getting my DD, 7, a phone for her room this year. She keeps saying that she wants one and said it in front of MIL on Thanksgiving. I told her that I think she's too young for a phone, but since MIL knows everything that is best for my kids I'm sure she'll go against my wishes and get her one. It's just too bad that she won't be able to install it for many years to come.

BTW, my DD just started answering our phone (after she asks if she can) about a month ago, so it's not like she's actively seeking to use it. She just thinks it will be cool to have since we have one in our room.