DFi's dog was put down today...

[Aimros]

I'm at work so I'm trying not to cry as I type this because I don't feel like explaining to everyone I work with why I'm crying as it will only make things worse. DFi just sent me a text message about an hour ago saying his dog had to be put down this morning. She was a Saint Bernard, a breed known for their leg problems, and I guess she was paralyzed from the waist down. I don't know any other details.

So DFi told me he wants a dog now (as in, he just told me this a few minutes ago). I think it might just be his coping mechanism, but we (I) really cannot get a dog right now. I'm not sure how to respond, because I know he is upset. So I just haven't said anything yet and am waiting until I get home so we can discuss it.

I guess this thread was started for three reasons: 1. To send prayers and hugs to DFi and his family, as I know it's going to be a rough few days; 2. To hopefully get some advice on having dogs and cats live together successfully; and 3. How to respond to DFi about this dog business, because it can't happen for a few more months.

TIA DISers, I knew this was the place to go for some advice and support.

 

[Mermaid02]

I'm very sorry.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sorry for the dog loss. Demanding to "get a dog now" is unacceptable.

Tell that you need time to think about this.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Your concerns are well founded. I hope he listens and respects your wishes.

 

[mrsstats]

I am sorry for your loss. If he really wants a new dog now, consider an adult dog, already trained that needs a home.

 

[Hannathy]

I'm very sorry it is never easy to loose a pet.

Getting a pet is not a decision you make in haste. You need to think about it and find the right one at the right time. He is just upset but he still needs to be rational.

Tell him you are to upset and it is to soon to replace Grace. that you need to grieve and honor her and replacing her that fast wouldn't be right.

After he grieves a few days if he still wants to get one right away then list what you have listed here and also that it wouldn't be fair to a puppy or new dog to be left alone as much as it is going to be with all the wedding preps.
Also that the wedding is a special time and that getting a new pet is special and you want to enjoy both separately!

 

[manning]

If you are going to have a disagreement, better now then after the marriage.

 

[bballmom56]

Your post really struck a chord with me as we have a female St. Bernard also. And she is getting up there for a Saint - she is about 7 now. We have seen her back end deteriorating over time. She is absolutely my DH's dog and I know how devastated he will be when we do lose her. She loves us all, but DH is special.

Speaking from experience, we got her (as a rescue) about 3 months after we lost our previous shepherd/Saint mix after having him for 14 years (and he lost the ability to use his back end, too. But it came on very suddenly). Losing him was very difficult for all of us - the kids grew up with him. DH found the new Saint and really wanted another dog. I don't think I was really ready at that point, but I agreed. I just wish we had waited a little longer. Plus our cats have never been happy with the new Saint - I still have one cat that will not come up out of the basement and it has been 4 years! Yet basement cat was VERY attached to the previous dog (and maybe that is the reason).

The good thing about Saints and cats is that Saints are slow. My two cats who do live on the main floor with us (not basement cat) figured that out. By the time she can even get up from a lying position, they are long gone.

Yes, the house will seem empty, but bringing in a new dog right now can create a lot of chaos for you between the cats and your lack of time to properly devote to a new dog. I hope you can gently persuade him to wait a little while until you are both ready.

I am so sorry for your and DFi's loss. I know how it hurts.