Depression thread

Grand Koalafornian

Mouseketeer
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Hey, I was wondering if anyone else here is struggling with depression right now. I have double depression (dysthymia and recurrent major depression) so I technically always meet the diagnostic criteria for depression, even on my best days.

Lately, though, I’ve been feeling very down for no reason. I feel like crying all the time. I’m not performing well at work because I can’t focus. I have frequent thoughts (that I will not act on) of self harm or suicide. I’ve had these since I was a little kid and know not to follow through but they’re still a drag to deal with. I have an appointment with my therapist next week and with my psychiatrist in three weeks, so I am actively getting help.

On the one hand. I hope no one else feeling this way because I don’t wish it on anyone (well, except for maybe the worst violent criminals). On the other hand, I would feel better knowing that I’m not alone, if others are suffering. So if anyone else is struggling, we can lean on each other.

Best wishes to all of you!
 

mommasita

DIS VETERAN
Moderator
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Hey, I was wondering if anyone else here is struggling with depression right now. I have double depression (dysthymia and recurrent major depression) so I technically always meet the diagnostic criteria for depression, even on my best days.

Lately, though, I’ve been feeling very down for no reason. I feel like crying all the time. I’m not performing well at work because I can’t focus. I have frequent thoughts (that I will not act on) of self harm or suicide. I’ve had these since I was a little kid and know not to follow through but they’re still a drag to deal with. I have an appointment with my therapist next week and with my psychiatrist in three weeks, so I am actively getting help.

On the one hand. I hope no one else feeling this way because I don’t wish it on anyone (well, except for maybe the worst violent criminals). On the other hand, I would feel better knowing that I’m not alone, if others are suffering. So if anyone else is struggling, we can lean on each other.

Best wishes to all of you!
You are not alone. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩While I wish you were not going through this, and it is hard to read, I have many similar thoughts such as yours. Further down on this forum is my thread where I lost my daughter to suicide, it will be 4 years in October.

I can relate to not acting on, but having thoughts of harm. I would not leave my son that legacy, and I know the hell it leaves behind. I’m very glad you have an appointment with a therapist soon. I just had my second this week, and finally found a good fit. Please be open, be honest, I know it’s not easy. I was seeing a psch after my daughter’s death, but I think the grief was too raw, and it wasn’t a good fit, I hid things, and it just didn’t solve anything.

If at anytime you want to reach out, please post here, or message me ❤🌈
 

Grand Koalafornian

Mouseketeer
Joined
Oct 25, 2014
Thank you very much for your support! 🤗 It means a lot to know I'm not alone, even if I'm sad that you're also going through this.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your daughter. My mother went to therapy for a while after my sister died, but I think she had a similar experience. It was too raw to really help. I do wish she'd consider going back now that it's been over a decade. I hope therapy can help you this time around.

Same to you, my message box is always open.
 

emcarle27

Mouseketeer
Joined
Jan 2, 2020
Sending love to you both.

I went through an awful bit of depression after my mom passed away 2 years ago. I cried almost every day and it was a really dark place to be in. I'm glad OP you're going to therapy. I went to therapy as a teenager and I remember it helping. After my mom's death, I considered it but I wasn't in a good place to talk about it.

My inbox is always open.
 

mommasita

DIS VETERAN
Moderator
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Sending love to you both.

I went through an awful bit of depression after my mom passed away 2 years ago. I cried almost every day and it was a really dark place to be in. I'm glad OP you're going to therapy. I went to therapy as a teenager and I remember it helping. After my mom's death, I considered it but I wasn't in a good place to talk about it.

My inbox is always open.
Thank you. I remember that also when I lost my mom, my step-father passed 5 days later, and I had a double funeral, and when I tried going back to work, I literally could not breathe. It was a dark time. I hope you are having happier days.🌈

We are never alone, although we often feel it,
 

happymommy

DIS Veteran
Joined
Jan 8, 2006
I have had depression off and on my whole life so can totally relate. It was challenging having family members fail to understand, my mom saying “what kind of doctor would prescribe Prozac” to me in my early 30’s to my sister brushing it off too. It’s hard when others can’t understand how it feels.

Last fall I developed severe anxiety, to the point for days I couldn’t even get out of bed. DH was working 7 days a week so he was no help at the time. I got help and am now on meds, but it’s still sometimes a struggle to function fully. I never had anxiety before, but now can totally understand how debilitating it can be. I’m actually seeing my primary doctor soon to see about adjusting them (I saw the psychiatrist for the past 6 months but my primary can take over now).

If anyone else wants to share with me, I’m here. I totally get it.
 

mommasita

DIS VETERAN
Moderator
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
I have had depression off and on my whole life so can totally relate. It was challenging having family members fail to understand, my mom saying “what kind of doctor would prescribe Prozac” to me in my early 30’s to my sister brushing it off too. It’s hard when others can’t understand how it feels.

Last fall I developed severe anxiety, to the point for days I couldn’t even get out of bed. DH was working 7 days a week so he was no help at the time. I got help and am now on meds, but it’s still sometimes a struggle to function fully. I never had anxiety before, but now can totally understand how debilitating it can be. I’m actually seeing my primary doctor soon to see about adjusting them (I saw the psychiatrist for the past 6 months but my primary can take over now).

If anyone else wants to share with me, I’m here. I totally get it.
Gentle hugs to you. Absolutely, it is so hard when others, especially those closest to us fail to relate at all.
I am glad you sought out help, there really is no shame, I think there are more people who struggle at least to some degree than we realize.
Thank you for opening up here, and I hope the days going forward are gentle and kind to you. 🌈
 
Last edited:
  • Raemama

    Always Disney dreamin’!
    Joined
    Jul 5, 2019
    Hey, I was wondering if anyone else here is struggling with depression right now.
    Yes. You are definitely not alone in this. Please keep seeking the support and help that you have been. It sounds like you are really in a good place when it comes to knowing yourself and understanding what you need. That’s really wonderful. I know how much work you’ve done to get to that point and so I applaud you!!

    I‘m seeing that depression/anxiety in those who have dealt with it normally is higher right now. And I believe that depression and anxiety are on the rise in people who don’t normally experience those. I’m a pastor and many of my parishioners are struggling with how they should live right now in this quasi-post pandemic period; I am as well. I also work full-time in the secular world and many colleagues are in the same boat of feeling isolated and scared and sad. (I’ve been feeling that way, too.)

    I’ve come to understand that people need a whole lot of grace in general, but especially right now. And, if I’m willing to give others that grace, I need to also give it to myself. I recently jumped back into working on campus from working at home for a year, and that alone has been a struggle. So, to give myself a little grace, I’m pulling back on some of the extra things that I could be doing right now. (I dropped a professional development class; I also decided to not teach a small group study that I’d already advertised to my churches.) Without the extra things, I have more space to process this big change in my life, and it’s helping me feel some better.

    But again, you are not alone in this! I’m praying for you as I write this and lifting you up for comfort and peace.
     

    Grand Koalafornian

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Oct 25, 2014
    I have had depression off and on my whole life so can totally relate. It was challenging having family members fail to understand, my mom saying “what kind of doctor would prescribe Prozac” to me in my early 30’s to my sister brushing it off too. It’s hard when others can’t understand how it feels.

    Last fall I developed severe anxiety, to the point for days I couldn’t even get out of bed. DH was working 7 days a week so he was no help at the time. I got help and am now on meds, but it’s still sometimes a struggle to function fully. I never had anxiety before, but now can totally understand how debilitating it can be. I’m actually seeing my primary doctor soon to see about adjusting them (I saw the psychiatrist for the past 6 months but my primary can take over now).

    If anyone else wants to share with me, I’m here. I totally get it.
    Thank you for sharing your experiences. I've never had anxiety that bad, but I have had anxiety my whole life, too. I had a "permanent stomach ache" for years when I was a kid. I definitely have days where basic functions are tough.

    I had a lot of trouble getting my family to understand at first, even though depression and anxiety run in the family. My grandparents just lived with it and were the "suck it up" type. I'm very glad to live in an era where treatment is readily available and far more socially acceptable.

    I hope your meds are worked out soon! I know that it can be kind of a balancing act.
     

    Grand Koalafornian

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Oct 25, 2014
    Yes. You are definitely not alone in this. Please keep seeking the support and help that you have been. It sounds like you are really in a good place when it comes to knowing yourself and understanding what you need. That’s really wonderful. I know how much work you’ve done to get to that point and so I applaud you!!

    I‘m seeing that depression/anxiety in those who have dealt with it normally is higher right now. And I believe that depression and anxiety are on the rise in people who don’t normally experience those. I’m a pastor and many of my parishioners are struggling with how they should live right now in this quasi-post pandemic period; I am as well. I also work full-time in the secular world and many colleagues are in the same boat of feeling isolated and scared and sad. (I’ve been feeling that way, too.)

    I’ve come to understand that people need a whole lot of grace in general, but especially right now. And, if I’m willing to give others that grace, I need to also give it to myself. I recently jumped back into working on campus from working at home for a year, and that alone has been a struggle. So, to give myself a little grace, I’m pulling back on some of the extra things that I could be doing right now. (I dropped a professional development class; I also decided to not teach a small group study that I’d already advertised to my churches.) Without the extra things, I have more space to process this big change in my life, and it’s helping me feel some better.

    But again, you are not alone in this! I’m praying for you as I write this and lifting you up for comfort and peace.
    Thank you. Yes, it's many years of work but I'm glad that I have a better handle on it now.

    You make such a great point about extending grace to yourself! I give so grace to those around me, I know we're all going through a terrible time. Then I'll turn around and berate myself for making a mistake I'd easily forgive in anyone else.

    I'm so glad that this is a community where people can lift each other up. We're all in this together, and reminding myself of that does take some weight off my shoulders. Sending prayers and virtual hugs to everyone here!
     

    happymommy

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 8, 2006
    Thank you for sharing your experiences. I've never had anxiety that bad, but I have had anxiety my whole life, too. I had a "permanent stomach ache" for years when I was a kid. I definitely have days where basic functions are tough.

    I had a lot of trouble getting my family to understand at first, even though depression and anxiety run in the family. My grandparents just lived with it and were the "suck it up" type. I'm very glad to live in an era where treatment is readily available and far more socially acceptable.

    I hope your meds are worked out soon! I know that it can be kind of a balancing act.

    I totally understand about it running in families. It definitely runs somewhat in mine, and my kids also struggle. I’m so glad we live in a time when we can reduce the past stigma on getting help! My parents refused to talk about it other than in shameful hushed ways. It’s just an illness like any other, and there is no shame in having it. We didn’t cause it, but we can do things to help ourselves.

    Sending hugs to you!
     
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