Dentist office wants me to lie to ds 7

[MidgeD79]

Ds 7 had a cleaning today and he needs a baby tooth pulled (adult tooth has already come in 3 months ago) and another tooth filled. The hygienist told me "don't tell him what we are going to do, he gets to upset". She told him the dentist is going to fix his tooth. The appointment is scheduled for Friday am. I hope ds doesn't ask me if they are going to pull his tooth.

 

[experiment626mom]

You know your child better than the hygenist, how upset would he get??

 

[KathyFP]

I believe that we build trust with children by being honest. Now saying that, you have to know your child. My DD(7) would be upset if she got a tooth pulled and did not tell her first. I would tell her and prepare her. She had to have a baby tooth pulled becuase it was cracked and the veneer would not stay attached.

 

[BuckNaked]

Ds 7 had a cleaning today and he needs a baby tooth pulled (adult tooth has already come in 3 months ago) and another tooth filled. The hygienist told me "don't tell him what we are going to do, he gets to upset". She told him the dentist is going to fix his tooth. The appointment is scheduled for Friday am. I hope ds doesn't ask me if they are going to pull his tooth.

If he asks, just say you don't know for sure, that the dentist will talk to him about it when he gets there. A little white lie that could help make things easier for everyone involved does no harm, IMO.

 

[MidgeD79]

ds is adhd and bipolar. He does get upset easily but that's what we're working on in therapy. Of course his therapist is on vacation this week so I can't call him for an opinion. I don't think I will outright lie to my son.

 

[BuckNaked]

ds is adhd and bipolar. He does get upset easily but that's what we're working on in therapy. Of course his therapist is on vacation this week so I can't call him for an opinion. I don't think I will outright lie to my son.

Even if it means making the situtation easier for him in the long run?

 

[Michie]

Lie to the kid!! I have to have the same thing done soon, I told the dentist office when I return, just to tell me that they are cleaning my teeth, give me the gas and just keep lying!!!

 

[BuckNaked]

Lie to the kid!! I have to have the same thing done soon, I told the dentist office when I return, just to tell me that they are cleaning my teeth, give me the gas and just keep lying!!!

I was in the dentist's office last month with DS, 9, and there was a little boy in there that they couldn't do anything with. I was talking to his dad in the waiting room, and this was the fourth dentist they had been to that week because the kid kept freaking out and the dentist couldn't do what he needed to do. They ended up leaving our dentist with no work done that day as well. I feel very fortunate that, for the most part, my kids do pretty well at the dentist.

 

[MELISAZACK]

my ds7 also has the same issue w/bottom adult teeth coming in before baby tooth is out---my cousin is a hygentist and xmas eve she pulled a tooth for my ds...we didn't discuss it with him and told him it was up to him to ask her and have her do it no one would force him but I would call the reg. dentist this week if not...He asked her is it would hurt and honestly she told him
yes it will but just for a min or so....He said okay sat in the kitchen with her and in less than 2 min she had it out!!! he said it did hurt but shurgged it right off and still no fear of dentist...Teeth hurt a little comming out so why not just be honest maybe he can numb it a little for him...good luck..
this was our 2nd tooth like this she said be ready for more it is from crowding and ds having a small mouth...

 

[MamaLema]

DS7 had to get 2 teeth pulled also, because his adult teeth came in and his baby ones weren't out yet.

I told him we would go to the dentist and see what he says. The dentist explained it to him when we went. Luckily, our dentist is GREAT with kids, has a lot of experience and explained it much better than I would of.

I guess it really depends on how your child will take. Mine do better when they don't have anxiety all day leading up to the appointment.

 

[Scutapipig]

My son is 9 years old with Down syndrome and he used to completely freak at the dentist. We have since found a dentist who works extremely well with him and it wasn't until age 8 that we were able to get him to sit in a dentist chair and have his teeth cleaned. He just had his tooth pulled for the same reason as your son and he too, had his first cavity filled at the same time.

We told him he was going to the dentist and he said ok. He never asked why, we didn't feel we needed to go into more detail at the time. When the appointment came up, he went right back for his appointment. The only issue we ran into was he didn't like the sound of the drill, so Dad went and held his hand and keep reassuring him while the dentist worked. As the dentist worked, Dad explained that there were germs in his tooth and the dentist was getting rid of the germs and making him a new tooth. They were in and out and home in less than 30 minutes.

I believe you can be honest, on a need to know basis, by only giving out the necessary information. If he asks more questions, then answer them as they come up. And of course, you know your child best and will know the best way to address this. Listen to your instinct as his mom and you won't go wrong!

 

[mom2boys]

ds is adhd and bipolar. He does get upset easily but that's what we're working on in therapy. Of course his therapist is on vacation this week so I can't call him for an opinion. I don't think I will outright lie to my son.

Can you put off the dental work for a week or so? That would give you time to consult your son's therapist. I am surprised that the dentist doesn't want him knocked out for the procedure. We had to do this with my youngest when he had a tooth filled at 5. We can talk him through things like that now so it's no longer necessary - he's 10 now. The dentist gave me a prescription for one tiny pill that I was to administer 1/2 prior to the appointment. He was in a deep sleep by the time we got to the dentist's office. I carried him in, the dentist did the procedure ( I stayed in the room) and I carried him out to the car & into the house when we got home. After he'd been awake for a while he said to me "I thought I was going to the dentist today." He was shocked when I told him he had been there.

 

[drakethib]

Ds 7 had a cleaning today and he needs a baby tooth pulled (adult tooth has already come in 3 months ago) and another tooth filled. The hygienist told me "don't tell him what we are going to do, he gets to upset". She told him the dentist is going to fix his tooth. The appointment is scheduled for Friday am. I hope ds doesn't ask me if they are going to pull his tooth.

I would not lie to my child. My parents did this to me when I was a young child and now at 34 years old, I still remeber them tricking me.

I know they meant well, but I would not have done such.

 

[EthansMom]

I always discuss any doctors visits and dentists visits with DS before we go. He's more comfortable knowing what to expect.

With my DS, I would explain that he has a baby tooth that should have come out on its own and it didn't. The dentist will look at it next time and might have to pull on it to get it to come out so there would be more room for grown up teeth. I would tell him that it would hurt for just a minute, but then it would feel all better. Also, I would tell him that if he was good at the dentist's office, I would take him for ice cream (or some other treat) afterwards.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I would not lie to my child. However, it depends on your child how you should handle this. Some kids do well with a lot of notice so they can get upset and then get over it. Others do better with a little notice because they never get over it.

Before my DD had her first filling the dentist told me to never use the word "shot" when describing what was going to happen. They suggested that I tell her that they were going to make the tooth go to sleep. I also never said "pain" or "hurt". Don't want to plant that seed.

So maybe tell you son that they need to make the tooth go to sleep and then they are going to fix the problem or you can tell him that they are going to remove the tooth.

If you lie then your son will not trust you the next time he has to go back to the dentist.

 

[GailT]

feed him a lot before going to the dentist so he can throw up all over the place. I dont believe in lying to kids, tell him they are going to get the baby tooth out so the adult tooth can grow in the right way and it won't hurt, baby tteth have no roots so it is a piece of cake and if you are a trooper and I know you will be we'll go buy you something special you want. I hope he is ok with the dentist, lets us know how he makes out.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I never lie to my kids about things like that, and I never tell that something won't hurt. My son has to get labs drawn every month, and every time he asks me if it's going to hurt. I say "yes baby, you're going to feel a poke and it might hurt a bit, but it'll be done really fast....". That way later down the road if something really isn't going to hurt, they'll believe me when I say so.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I would hate to lie to your DS. That TRUST is important!

Is there a good pediatric dentist in your area that could use something to 'calm' or 'knock-out' your son if you are afraid that he will completely freak?

 

[MidgeD79]

There are no pediatric dentists in our county. Sedatives seem to have the opposite effect on him. Benadryl has no effect,Rispaydl(sp) helps him to get ready for bed but not sleepy. If I put it off I can't go with him because I'll be back to work. Maybe I'll call his pediatrician and ask her if she has any ideas.

 

[mickeyboat]

I would hate to lie to your DS. That TRUST is important!

Is there a good pediatric dentist in your area that could use something to 'calm' or 'knock-out' your son if you are afraid that he will completely freak?

When Hannah was 4 she had a filling. I spent a lot of time telling her about what was going to happen, and it really scared her. She calmed down when I stopped talking about it, and did beautifully with the procedure with laughing gas. I think you should be honest about what the dentist will do, but leave the details up to the dentist.

Denae