Delayed birthday gifts...

[becpee]

I know this may sound a little ungrateful, but I am sick of people not acknowledging my birthday.
I used to make a real effort for peoples birthdays but i've decided no more.
I used to go out of my way and put great thought into peoples presents but no more.
I hate to say it but my mum is the worst offender, she always says "I can't afford anything right now, i'll get you something later" which she did for my birthday a month ago, and since then has gone on to buy herself a GPS and a mixmaster for her kitchen, i'm still waiting.
I also hate combined presents, my birthday is 6 weeks from Christmas and my sister used to get me combined presents, now she gets me nothing
There was always arguments on my birthday too, there was always the same excuse "must be a full moon" umm not a full moon on my birthday every year I think.
It makes me sad, I can't remember a birthday where I said "yeah, that was a great day".

 

[aprilgail2]

I also hate combined presents, my birthday is 6 weeks from Christmas and my sister used to get me combined presents, now she gets me nothing
:

My daughters birthday is the first week in Nov and she gets combined Christmas and Birthday gifts!

 

[formill]

Really?? How old are you? I could care less about birthday gifts. I like when my kids make me a cake. I don't need presents or cards. We all have too much stuff.

 

[monkeybug]

It makes me sad, I can't remember a birthday where I said "yeah, that was a great day".

I understand feeling hurt that your family doesn't make you feel special and loved on your birthday, and that is sad, but it's not their responsibility to make your day great, it's yours! If you want to have a great birthday, then go do something you love to do! Be with people who make you happy and make you feel loved! Forget about presents and how birthdays are "supposed" to be, and just go out into the world and make it the most fantastic freakin' day ever!!

And for the record I do know what it's like to have people forget you on your birthday! It happens to me quite a bit, and if I'm being honest it did used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore! I still manage to have great birthdays!
I still buy everyone else gifts and cards because it makes me happy to do so.
My family is also very good about letting me know I'm loved and important to them all year round, so when their flakey little unorganized hiney's forget my birthday I just shrug it off.

 

[MsLeFever]

I understand. I've had a BUNCH of birthdays but I still want them to be special and at least my husband understands that.

You know what helps? Facebook! You wake up to a bunch of friends wishing you a great day and it lasts all day. Another poster was right - don't depend on other people, plan a day for yourself!

 

[BraveLittleToaster2]

A simple Happy Birthday and a card would be enough for me. My kids coloring me a picture or two or something. But I can't imagine as an adult needing a present on my birthday.

 

[VAfamily1998]

To me, big birthday celebrations, big gifts, etc. are more of a "kid thing". Growing up, we really didn't celebrate birthdays much after the age of 12 or so, except for "milestone" ones like 16 or 18 or 21... Maybe your family members feel the same way?
My siblings and I have never exchanged birthday gifts...

 

[disneychic2]

Monkeybug has it right. Make your day what you want it to be. It's so sad to think of you feeling so forgotten on your birthday. But don't let that change who you are. Continue to buy special gifts and make their day special because it pleases you to do so. Don't become like them. Continue to be your own special self! Happy Birthday (belated or very early, you pick!)

 

[becpee]

Really?? How old are you? I could care less about birthday gifts. I like when my kids make me a cake. I don't need presents or cards. We all have too much stuff.

It's not about the stuff, it's the effort (or lack of)
When you see the same person sends presents interstate to one sibling, and goes to another siblings house for their birthday, present in hand and cooking her dinner it hurts.

When you make effort for others to get them something they will love you hope there will be some sort of something reciprocated.

 

[avgeek81]

I throw my own birthday dinner at TGIFriedays every year. I invite friends from work and a few other people. I make it an event on facebook. Some years Ive had 20 people some times as little as 5. Every yeah we have a great time. I wouldnt expect anyone to throw a party for me, thats why i do it myself.

 

[monkeybug]

It's not about the stuff, it's the effort (or lack of)
When you see the same person sends presents interstate to one sibling, and goes to another siblings house for their birthday, present in hand and cooking her dinner it hurts.

When you make effort for others to get them something they will love you hope there will be some sort of something reciprocated.

You have absolutely every right to feel hurt! It stings like all get out when someone we love very much doesn't behave in a way that makes us feel loved in return! It stings even more when it seems like they love someone else more.
Trust me when I say that I know what that feels like, and I think you are more than entitled to a big ol' pity party if you want one!!! Throw down with some Ben & Jerrys and wallow in it all day!!! (I mean sometimes it's what a girl needs, you know?)

My advice is to try and stop thinking about love as a two way thing though. It's ok to love someone who doesn't make you feel loved. It's ok to show that love with thoughtful gifts. Know that someday your thoughtfulness might change that person and how thoughtful they are...and it might not. Either way expressing how you feel for others and being a thoughtful person IS good for YOU! It makes you a better person! Don't change who you are because of someone else's poor behavior. Be yourself in spite of it, and don't let their misgivings bother you or bring you down. It's their issue, not yours!!! For goodness sakes don't let their issues become yours too! You are a thoughtful person...the best revenge is to stay that way and not become bitter!

Don't ever let another person treat you in a way that is unacceptable to in the name of love either though! I'm not saying to go around giving gifts to people who stomp on your heart on a daily basis. Those people you have to just cut out of your life and go on loving them from afar.

 

[GinnyEmma]

I don't give cards or gifts because someone does it for me. A grown up is perfectly capable of making a day for themselves. I would guess that in some way you have let others down, too. Grace goes a long way.

 

[anniemae]

Sorry you are feeling down. I like the poster who throws her own celebration! Great idea!

 

[kacaju]

My Mom is horrible about remembering Birthdays. My Birthday was two weeks ago and I havetalked to my mom 2-3 times since then and never once has she remembered.
I know she is like this and have learned never to expect a Happy Birthday from her.
Deep down, yes it does hurt to have your own Mother not remember your Birthday, but it is what it is and I cannot waste my time and energy getting upset.

 

[dumboiu]

I know this may sound a little ungrateful, but I am sick of people not acknowledging my birthday.
I used to make a real effort for peoples birthdays but i've decided no more.
I used to go out of my way and put great thought into peoples presents but no more.
I hate to say it but my mum is the worst offender, she always says "I can't afford anything right now, i'll get you something later" which she did for my birthday a month ago, and since then has gone on to buy herself a GPS and a mixmaster for her kitchen, i'm still waiting.
I also hate combined presents, my birthday is 6 weeks from Christmas and my sister used to get me combined presents, now she gets me nothing
There was always arguments on my birthday too, there was always the same excuse "must be a full moon" umm not a full moon on my birthday every year I think.
It makes me sad, I can't remember a birthday where I said "yeah, that was a great day".

You can't change the actions of others, but you can change how YOU react. It is time you do whatever it is to make your birthday special instead of relying on others to do so. While it would be nice if they did acknowledge your birthday, as you wish they would, you should not wallow in self pity because they have not. It is not up to others to make you happy, it is up to you to find a way to make your own day special. Remember, things happen in peoples lives. It really isn't all about you, me or anyone else for that matter. Sorry you are feeling down.

 

[Liberty Belle]

OP, I understand.

I was feeling the same way and expressed it to my 16 year old in a nice, but whiny I'm sure, way. On my next birthday morning I woke up to the house decorated with balloons and streamers. My son did that himself. THAT was the best birthday ever.

My mom has it worse than both of us. I was born on her birthday. I'm sure the first couple of years it was pretty cool, but I bet it got old after that. I feel bad because I never really thought about it when I was growing up.

 

[becpee]

Thanks everybody, I know i'm wallowing
I don't know why I can't shake it, it's just really grating on me

I just needed a bit of a vent

 

[MIGrandma]

I agree with the poster who said nobody else is responsible for your happiness on your birthday, other than yourself. Make it a fun day for yourself. Do things you enjoy. When I worked outside the home I always took the day off on my birthday. I do things I enjoy on my birthday. And DH and I always go to dinner at the restaurant of my choice. We no longer exchange birthday gifts, neither of us needs any more "stuff."

And I don't give birthday gifts to others hoping to get one in return. I do it because I like/love the person and want to do something nice for them.

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

I also hate combined presents, my birthday is 6 weeks from Christmas and my sister used to get me combined presents, now she gets me nothing

Maybe she got the vibe that you didn't appreciate your combined presents?

 

[scrapquitler]

I just don't get the big focus on birthdays for adults. To me, big birthday celebration and wanting presents for your birthday is a kid thing. I would NOT expect my mother to give me a present for my birthday. Heck, I usually send a card TO her on my birthday that says something along the lines of 'thanks for being a great mom, I love you!'

For the OP, instead of hoping that other people will give you gifts and make you feel good about it being your birthday, turn it around and do something nice for yourself that makes you feel happy to celebrate your birthday. And don't kill yourself trying to find great gifts for other people on their birthdays, most people I know don't expect that, or even feel that it is necessary. Instead just send them a card or give them a call.