Define "Anniversary"..

[terribm]

I think what some of us may be forgetting is that Disney wants as many people to wear a button as possible b/c it fits the theme of the year. Everytime I call about my ressie, they ask what we are celebrating. They are totally encouraging it. So what if more people are wearing them than not. If it makes that person feel like they are celebrating, what's the harm?

 

[mskayjay]

As someone who has gone through this at a way too young age, this post is just made of win.

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I think that most people need to remember that we are in an age of anti-monogamy. Most people don't believe in spending their lives with one person anymore, much less a few years. This is why divorce rates are (slowly) climbing, the average age of getting married is climbing, and there are more people who choose not to get married and/or have children.
So that means that those of us who have remained in long-term monogamous relationships should have what has always been held as a special occasion reduced to a new meaning to accommodate everyone? I'm not sure what you mean by this. We *have* spent years working through the issues as you did while dating and continued to work on them for almost 26 years at this point as a married couple. For me, it is not proper for someone to wear an Anniversary pin for anything other than a wedding anniversary. If WDW chooses to create different types of anniversary pins(maybe that IS the answer for this type of issue), then great, go for it.....but for us, this pin is meant to denote a special occassion for those who are married/had a committment ceremony and are celebrating that event even if it is not on that actual day. To do otherwise, is like someone else showing up in a white dress or gown at your wedding and diminishing that event as well.

Sometimes it's their choice. Sometimes it's their religion. Sometimes it's because they cannot get married due to their rights being denied.
Then you go with what is there for your situation but you don't take the *specialness* away from others. If you're Catholic, do you let your kids have a Bah Mitvah because they want to? Certain celebrations are indicative of certain things.

I'm getting married in about a month and a half, and I was kind of miffed at the fact that DF and I were scoffed at for celebrating our dating anniversary back in March, and all we did was go to dinner here at home. Now we are supposed to forget the years and years that we worked on our relationship just because we are getting married?
You don't forget those years at all but they take on a new meaning once you have a married life together and as time goes on you'll realize that. We still note our first date day but not like we do our wedding anniversary.

Relationships take work. Constant work. Everyone should be able to celebrate that they are with a loved one and have made it however long.
They sure do! And yes you should but in measure.

Just because I will soon be a licensed *marriage* and family therapist doesn't mean that I won't work with couples who aren't married. Denying couples things just because they don't have the legal contract is just another form of discrimination.
I believe as time goes by and you are married and a marriage counselor, you will see a shift in some of your feelings about this. I can't imagine you sitting down with a 6-month couple and taking their issues as seriously as you would for a couple in a 6 year marriage. It takes a good deal more to give up on a marriage than it does on a long-term relationship. That is absolutely NOT a slam to long-term couples so please do not take it as such. You're comment about discrimination is just wrong in my opinion and the word has been misused so much it too has lost its meaning. To compare not wearing a button with what discrimination is truly meant to represent is just sad.

Just my two cents.

Mine too! I also think this whole idea of "everyone can do what they want" is similar to the idea that children can have/get whatever they want. Sometimes actually waiting till you are entitled to or earn something makes it that much sweeter and makes you really appreciate what it means.

 

[kmk1180]

This is exactly what I mean by too many rules. It's a BUTTON and you don't get anything for FREE unless you go an prove it's your birthday. All you get is some extra kind words. Geesh, lighten up.

GEEZ Read.
I didn't say they got something...i said it make me FEEL like they were HOPING to get something.
Lighten up, I'm entitled to my opinoins and thoughts.

 

[CampbellScot]

If wearing a button makes your trip that much more special to you, then go for it. It shouldn't matter to anyone else what your reasoning is...it certainly doesn't matter to Disney. If it did they'd be requiring birth certificates (like they do with the free entry on your birthday) or marriage certificates. If Disney wanted to control button wearing they would. Period.

I would hope that button wearers don't "expect" something free or extra. That isn't the point of the buttons...at least not to me. I love being able to say happy birthday or congrats or whathaveyou when I see a button wearer...b/c it makes people feel good...it's a very small act of kindness that doesn't require any effort and it doesn't hurt anybody. I appreciate congrats and good wishes when I have something special to celebrate...defining what is special is entirely up to the individual.

Have a great time OP!!

My husband and I are heading down on Monday for our ANNIVERSARY trip...our THIRD...we're thrilled and we will be wearing our buttons proudly.

Now when we go to Disney in January to run the Donald Half marathon we will NOT be wearing buttons for the first time...which is fine b/c we'll be wearing our Donald Medals instead!!! Congrat will be welcome then as well!

 

[WDSearcher]

Add me to the list of, ya no.
I mean come on, where does it end? We were "dating" 3 years so we need a button?
What about, our first date was 6 months ago?
Or I had my wisdom teeth romoved a year ago?
Pretty soon everyone will have a button on.

I figure ... they're Disney's buttons, so they carry Disney's rules. And if Disney doesn't care what anniversary you're celebrating (which they apparently don't, since they don't require documentation, nor do they even ASK if it's your wedding anniversary when you ask for the anniversary button), then I don't care either! So there.

 

[BelleLovesTheBeast]

No offense to anyone who believes otherwise, but I truly believe they are meant as a special way to acknowledge wedding anniversaries.

Just a heads up that most likely many friendly people will ask them how long they've been married.

Agreed! Why not get the Celebrating buttons and write in 3 years of dating?

Relationships take work. Constant work.

Yes they do and most people give up. In the 8 1/2 years my DH and I have been together we have been to at least 25 weddings and less than 5 are still married. We have many friends that are now on their second marriage. I have one that has been married 7 months and is now talking about divorce.

Ktharee - Sometimes you do get stuff for free just by wearing the button. My DH and I have received free desserts before.

 

[willonlyflytodisney]

Hi there,
My DBF of 1 YEAR wore buttons last year, because we went for our 1 year anniversary. Nobody asked if we were married, but almost EVERYONE commented on the buttons.
And, in contrast to what you might think, you do get free stuff. It's just not STUFF. People will ask where you want to sit on a ride, instead of just seating you. We rode in the back on Rock n Roller Coaster everytime, not because we asked to, but because we were asked where we wanted to sit. In Pirates, we had the same treatment.
We got a free Dole Whip when we bought two because the lady thought we were a cute couple. But, the nicest part of it all was that every single CM we saw said Happy Anniversary. Some of them even asked us, how many years.
We are definitely too young to be celebrating a wedding anniversary, so I'm sure they got that.
But, IMHO, there is no reason NOT to wear a button. They want to celebrate with you, and for us, it really enhanced the experience. It makes it more personal. Don't worry about married vs. boyfriend or girlfriend. They will congratulate you no matter what.

 

[SnowandMittens]

DEFINE: the yearly recurrence of the date of a past event.

My Dbf and I wear our buttons proudly every Jan when we celebrate our dating anniversary. For those of you who insist that Anniversary = Marraige, tell me why it isn't specified by the Disney company what type of "Anniversary" this entails.

Op, go for it. It's your thousands of dollars and your trip.

 

[mskayjay]

DEFINE: the yearly recurrence of the date of a past event.

My Dbf and I wear our buttons proudly every Jan when we celebrate our dating anniversary. For those of you who insist that Anniversary = Marraige, tell me why it isn't specified by the Disney company what type of "Anniversary" this entails.
Because they assumed most would know/respect what "anniversary" stands for just like people know what "birthday" stands for. The more I think about this, the more I think it would be cool to have the "Wedding Anniversary" pin and the regular celebration or a "special anniversary" where you can fill in what the occassion is.
Op, go for it. It's your thousands of dollars and your trip.

lol I have to laugh how passionately we all feel about topics and I do mean laugh in a good sense. I so appreciate everyone's POV even when they differ from mine. It's how you learn, KWIM? Tolerance.....it's a good thing.

 

[TinkerBelle_325]

I have collected WDW buttons since I was a little girl. They used to give them out with kid's meals at The Land Sunishine Seasons Food Fair.

On my May 30 - June 3rd trip my friend, Alice, wore her 1st visit button. When we stopped at the MK tip board we were welcomed to our first Disney trip. I explained to the CM it was my 30-something trip to WDW and that it was my friends first. Her eyes lit up and she said. "Well you are a tour guide..." and whipped out an "I'm Celebrating..." button and wrote "Honorary Tour Guide" in sharpie on it. It was silly, but so special to me! I have always wanted to be a CM, and that was magical. I wore it the whole trip

To those that "oppose" the "inappropriate" wearing of buttons (i.e., "dating" anniversary, not actually your birthday) May I ask how exactly it detracts from your trip? How does someone celebrating 5 years of dating make you celebrating 10 years of marriage any *less* special? Or that girl who wants to wear her bday button all week, maybe she thought of it as an "unbirthday" button the rest of the week and still wanted to celebrate!

"What will you Celebrate?" is meant to create a joyful and *gasp* celebratory atmosphere. I loved seeing all the people wearing buttons. If Disney wanted to pigeon-hole what the celebrations could be they would not have created an "I'm Celebrating..." button.

Heck, I saw one man wearing a 1st visit, a bday and an anniversary button. I didn't think "oh there is someone trying to get something free," I thought "how cool to be celebrating all those things at the most magical place on earth!"

One side note: It was pretty funny to hear the endless choruses of "Happy Birthday" at the restaurants, but it only made my friend and I smile and laugh more! Those little touches make Disney special.

And one funny story! A few years ago, my parents and I were having dinner at Alfredo's (which I miss!) and we told the hostess it was my parents 25th wedding anniversary. Well, at the end of the meal, a group of wait staff brought a dessert to the table, but they were singing Happy Birthday in Italian...the hostess had written 25th Anny on the ticket....they took "anniversary" as "birthday"! They thought it was MY 25th bday! LOL I was only 20 at the time, but we couldn't bear to correct them. It was such a cute misinterpretation.

 

[WriteDisney]

To those that "oppose" the "inappropriate" wearing of buttons (i.e., "dating" anniversary, not actually your birthday) May I ask how exactly it detracts from your trip? How does someone celebrating 5 years of dating make you celebrating 10 years of marriage any *less* special? Or that girl who wants to wear her bday button all week, maybe she thought of it as an "unbirthday" button the rest of the week and still wanted to celebrate!

"What will you Celebrate?" is meant to create a joyful and *gasp* celebratory atmosphere. I loved seeing all the people wearing buttons. If Disney wanted to pigeon-hole what the celebrations could be they would not have created an "I'm Celebrating..." button.

Heck, I saw one man wearing a 1st visit, a bday and an anniversary button. I didn't think "oh there is someone trying to get something free," I thought "how cool to be celebrating all those things at the most magical place on earth!"

Exactly!

 

[savannahjean85]

Ok I say wear the buttons but don’t expect anything more than well wishes. Disney is a very romantic place I hope they have a great trip.

Back in Nov 2007 my then boyfriend of 7 years and I went down and celebrated 7 great monogamous years together, yes we wore the buttons with pride. We did not expect any free things. But the buttons were great conversation starters. When people asked us how long we had been married we smiled and said, “We are not married, but we have been together for 7 years.” Normally people were shocked at us being together for so long at our age. Now on this trip we did get engaged.

Off topic but:
I don’t feel anyone’s committed relationship means less than anyone else’s. Personally yes I would love to be married, we are not anti-monogamy. My dad passed away when I was 17 and my mom could never be able to afford paying for a wedding, so my fiancé and I both decided we would wait and pay for the wedding ourselves. Yes we could easily go to the courthouse but I feel I should not have to give up on my dreams of a nice wedding due to horrible circumstances. We are currently working our way through college and should graduate within the next 2 years then we will get married. So I will have been with my fiancé for 10 years before we marry, that is a longer time period than many people date, get married, and get divorced in. I do not discount my relationship because I don’t have a marriage certificate. I think it is funny that people feel safe in letting a certificate say their relationship has more value than others.
I don’t think our generation is anti-monogamy but rather we understand we want strong, healthy and good relationships before we want to make a lifetime commitment of marriage. I think that is thing with my generation we understand that “marriage” does not mean the relationship is not filled with deceit, loathing, and infidelity because half grew up in divorced families. My parent stayed married until my father passed and my fiancés parents are still together but all of my friends come from divorced families and many don’t want to make the mistakes their parent’s made. Just my opinion.

 

[SOnotLayuh]

So that means that those of us who have remained in long-term monogamous relationships should have what has always been held as a special occasion reduced to a new meaning to accommodate everyone?

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Then you go with what is there for your situation but you don't take the *specialness* away from others.

I'm sorry to use such strong language, but I absolutely hate when an individual accuses another of depreciating something that is part of their lives. How are you any less special because someone else is celebrating 3 years of dating? It doesn't affect your trip or your relationship at all. You're just being selfish.

I believe as time goes by and you are married and a marriage counselor, you will see a shift in some of your feelings about this. I can't imagine you sitting down with a 6-month couple and taking their issues as seriously as you would for a couple in a 6 year marriage. It takes a good deal more to give up on a marriage than it does on a long-term relationship. That is absolutely NOT a slam to long-term couples so please do not take it as such. You're comment about discrimination is just wrong in my opinion and the word has been misused so much it too has lost its meaning. To compare not wearing a button with what discrimination is truly meant to represent is just sad.

Part of being a therapist is treating everyone, and every couple, with the same respect and seriousness as any other. It's also an aspect of equality - to treat everyone as if they and their problems/triumphs/whatever matter.

Also, to want to deny a group of people something because you don't agree with the same definition as they do? Anniversary means "the yearly recurrence of the date of a past event" (first definition in the dictionary). The pin is for celebrating an anniversary. This sort of triumph should be celebrated, regardless of if it is one year or one hundred. I don't personally agree with celebrating the months, because anniversary comes from the latin word anniversarius, which draws from their words for time and year, meaning the repetition of that time of year.

And, please, don't tell me how sure you are of my opinions changing to yours. That is really presumptuous and inappropriate.

 

[kmk1180]

I figure ... they're Disney's buttons, so they carry Disney's rules. And if Disney doesn't care what anniversary you're celebrating (which they apparently don't, since they don't require documentation, nor do they even ASK if it's your wedding anniversary when you ask for the anniversary button), then I don't care either! So there.

I'm not saying you can't. Sure you can, that's what Disney wants.. you to spend thousands of dollars just to put on a button and say, I"m celebrating " ". It's just a big gimick.
It's just to the point of being pointless.
I"m sure cast members hate it. Can you imagine being at work and every time someone walks past you, you have to stop what you doing and say congratulations this, or happy that..
Everybody can make up some excuse to say your celebrating something to put on a button.
As my first post on this said, our friend wore a birthday button 8 days in a row. It clearly wasn't her birthday, everyday.
To me... I don't get what so special about making up excuses to put on a button?
If I did because everybody else was doing it, I would feel like something that was truely special to me became cheapened
But hey, I'm in the group that doesn't get it why just because it's St. Patrick's Day or New Years(for example), it's a good reason to get drunk, (like millions do)...sorry I just don't get it.
But hey if you want to ahead.

 

[tlenzendorf]

an·ni·ver·sa·ry (n-vûrs-r) KEY

NOUN:
pl. an·ni·ver·sa·ries
The annually recurring date of a past event, especially one of historical, national, or personal importance: a wedding anniversary; the anniversary of the founding of Rome.
A celebration commemorating such a date.


I say go for it! DH and I are actually not DH and DW, we are DCommitted to each other with no need to get married as both of us have already been there, done that and feel no rush to wreck our relationship with the stress that piece of paper adds. Whew that was a mouthful I still consider him my husband and he considers me his wife. We don't let it bother us since its no one's business except ours. We will be celebrating our dating anniversary in August when we go and are planning on getting buttons. Not for "stuff", but just for us to recognize the special day and what it means to us.

 

[mskayjay]

I'm sorry to use such strong language, but I absolutely hate when an individual accuses another of depreciating something that is part of their lives. How are you any less special because someone else is celebrating 3 years of dating? It doesn't affect your trip or your relationship at all. You're just being selfish.

Glad you apologized up front! Hate is a really nasty nasty strong word. I respectfully disagree with you and frankly those who think it is fun to wear these buttons that were meant to denote a special event are the ones who are being selfish by diminishing the meaning of it in my opinion. Its my opinion, some here agree, some don't. I am of the belief that, as I previously stated, that there are things we earn in life. I think the world is a bit confused by the whole idea of instant gratification, not working towards any kind of achievement, the notion that life is equal or fair. It isn't. Not everyone has a nuclear family, a good job, trips to Disney, or gets to celebrate wedding anniversaries and to pretend otherwise is disingenuous.

Part of being a therapist is treating everyone, and every couple, with the same respect and seriousness as any other. It's also an aspect of equality - to treat everyone as if they and their problems/triumphs/whatever matter.
There is also a responsibility in life to teach those with less experience or understanding that not everything is "the end of the world" or a major crisis. Its called coping skills.


Also, to want to deny a group of people something because you don't agree with the same definition as they do? Anniversary means "the yearly recurrence of the date of a past event" (first definition in the dictionary). The pin is for celebrating an anniversary. This sort of triumph should be celebrated, regardless of if it is one year or one hundred. I don't personally agree with celebrating the months, because anniversary comes from the latin word anniversarius, which draws from their words for time and year, meaning the repetition of that time of year.

And, please, don't tell me how sure you are of my opinions changing to yours. That is really presumptuous and inappropriate.

Better read closer. I never said your opinion would change to MINE! I said it would change...... We all "change" based on our experiences in life, it is only natural. As far as denying someone something, I just don't know where you came up with that comparison. If it is not your birthday or the trip is not EXPRESSLY to celebrate your birthday (like it was a gift for that purpose) how is it denying them something? Everything has a time and place. You don't get to just create something because you want to.

And please, spare me the latin lessons. Funny how you do not agree (notice I didn't use the word "disagree" because that isn't what you said so please watch what you're saying that I stated!) with those who want to celebrate the months but you also don't seem to understand why folks would really disagree with it and disagree with folks wearing the pins. We can all find definitions to fit our purposes and tweak them how we choose. If you notice there are quite a few who define it much like I do.

Everyone who goes to WDW is special and every trip is special. There are times in life when that trip is even more special. We go out to dinner probably 8-10 times a month but it in no way compares to when we go out to dinner for our anniversary dinner. It would be like having a cake and everytime you had one, you felt you had to have "happy birthday" written on it because heaven forbid your day isn't special enough by just having a cake!

 

[Ktharee]

GEEZ Read.
I didn't say they got something...i said it make me FEEL like they were HOPING to get something.
Lighten up, I'm entitled to my opinoins and thoughts.

Of course you are entitled to your thoughts/opinions. Honestly, what is the big deal with someone wearing a button all week. Even if they were hoping to get something special? Even if they GOT something special? Who cares? And if anyone does care...why do you care? Do you feel slighted in some way? I've never gotten one single freakin' towel animal in 8 trips. I tip everyday and nothing. The tip even goes in cute little envelopes (basically BEGGING for special treatment). Am I wrong to do that? To try and nudge the magic my way? The way I see it, is that is all people are doing when displaying a button. Trying to get just a little more magic. So I don't see anything wrong with it. Life's too short. Celebrate whatever it is that you feel deserves celebrating. Last I checked there was nothing sanctioning genuine happiness.

 

[mskayjay]

Ok I say wear the buttons but don’t expect anything more than well wishes. Disney is a very romantic place I hope they have a great trip.

Back in Nov 2007 my then boyfriend of 7 years and I went down and celebrated 7 great monogamous years together, yes we wore the buttons with pride. We did not expect any free things. But the buttons were great conversation starters. When people asked us how long we had been married we smiled and said, “We are not married, but we have been together for 7 years.” Normally people were shocked at us being together for so long at our age. Now on this trip we did get engaged.

Off topic but:
I don’t feel anyone’s committed relationship means less than anyone else’s. Personally yes I would love to be married, we are not anti-monogamy. My dad passed away when I was 17 and my mom could never be able to afford paying for a wedding, so my fiancé and I both decided we would wait and pay for the wedding ourselves. Yes we could easily go to the courthouse but I feel I should not have to give up on my dreams of a nice wedding due to horrible circumstances. We are currently working our way through college and should graduate within the next 2 years then we will get married. So I will have been with my fiancé for 10 years before we marry, that is a longer time period than many people date, get married, and get divorced in. I do not discount my relationship because I don’t have a marriage certificate. I think it is funny that people feel safe in letting a certificate say their relationship has more value than others. That stinks soooo bad! I buried Dad on my 16th b'day and did not have anything at all like what I had dreamed of for my wedding so I feel what you're saying about that and applaud you waiting till you can pay for it yourself. We paid for most of it ourselves too and believe me, it wasn't much..... We've talked of doing a vow renewal and going upscale but who knows.....at this stage of life, it feels weird to spend that kind of money for an event like that for just us. We got married less than 7 months after we met.

And I want to make sure I'm clear. I do NOT think your relationship has less value at all. I just don't consider it an anniversary in the traditional sense and as I mentioned in another post, I think your feelings will change about the meaning of "anniversary" after you've been married for a while. My friend was with her husband for 14 years before they got married and that old *date* is no longer part of the picture.....it is the wedding anniversary. They don't ignore that time, but they don't make as big of a deal about it.
I don’t think our generation is anti-monogamy but rather we understand we want strong, healthy and good relationships before we want to make a lifetime commitment of marriage. I think that is thing with my generation we understand that “marriage” does not mean the relationship is not filled with deceit, loathing, and infidelity because half grew up in divorced families. My parent stayed married until my father passed and my fiancés parents are still together but all of my friends come from divorced families and many don’t want to make the mistakes their parent’s made. Just my opinion.

What concerns me about the divorce rate is the idea that many don't want to take the time to really figure out what is wrong and try to work through it. (I think we have officially hi-jacked this thread! lol) It is easier to say "done" and leave. My folks didn't have a great thing at the time my Dad passed but even now my mother swears with all her heart that she loved him and they would never have given up trying. I think there is too much emphasis on full-time happiness. When I photographed weddings, couples would ask me how we stayed together I would tell them to be realistic....if you think you will be 100%, puppy dog, head over heels in love like you feel right now, 24/7/365, you're setting yourself up for failure. Its okay to have days you don't like each other at all but remember why you loved that person and try to work it through. We have had some humdingers of arguments and times we thought it would all fall apart but we persevered and we find it funny when folks tell us they knew we would never quit because they see the "us" that we don't see when we're angry with each other. Everyone has different rule books for life. The key is figuring out how to let them co-exist together respectfully.

 

[mskayjay]

Of course you are entitled to your thoughts/opinions. Honestly, what is the big deal with someone wearing a button all week. Even if they were hoping to get something special? Even if they GOT something special? Who cares? And if anyone does care...why do you care? Do you feel slighted in some way? I've never gotten one single freakin' towel animal in 8 trips. I tip everyday and nothing. The tip even goes in cute little envelopes (basically BEGGING for special treatment). Am I wrong to do that? To try and nudge the magic my way? The way I see it, is that is all people are doing when displaying a button. Trying to get just a little more magic. So I don't see anything wrong with it. Life's too short. Celebrate whatever it is that you feel deserves celebrating. Last I checked there was nothing sanctioning genuine happiness.

I think it stinks that you've never gotten a towel animal during ANY of those trips! Wow! I would have gladly given you some of ours.....our cleaning person at WL was a towel animal machine! lol

As far as the rest of your comment, I look at what you did as a one on one type of thing in terms of giving to one person and expecting/hoping for special treatment where wearing the buttons is asking for it from everyone. The tip you left to me also is like paying for your special treatment and its sad you didn't get it. I hope your room was at least extra extra clean!

 

[cricketgirl]

Well, after reading all of this I'm not sure I will wear a button in September Celebrating my 15th anniverasy and 43rd Birthday which both happen to be on the same day. September 5th. We aren't able to go until the 19th because of DH work schedual and meetings. The reason we are going to Disney is to Celebrate. I was unable to Celebrate my 40th birthday in a big way because of a car wreck. Over 2 years of doctors and therapy and pain, we felt it was time to celebrate both. I felt it would be special. Now, I don't feel like it is even worth mentioning to Disney. Kinda sad now. I will still go and enjoy Disney. Don't get me wrong , but the pin (which I was so excited to get on my 1st trip ever) will most likely be the last one i wear at Disney