I don't know that you ever need to or will be able to match everything exactly. You just have to try to do the best you can considering all factors: budget, preferences, availability, etc. I like the look of woods that complement eachother, but don't necessarily match. It gives the room a little personality, as opposed to showroom perfect (IMO - others may disagree, but that's ok, everyone feels differently). It's also a good feeling knowing you perhaps recycled an older or treasured piece.
And any of the appliance colors will look good with what you're doing, it's just a matter of personal choice. Are any of your current appliances salvageable? That might drive the color choice if you can save some. I've also noticed they have some appliances that are a combination of black and stainless which might be a good choice for someone who has some black that are salvageable but have to buy others and want to go a little modern but still match the others. There are also panels you can buy in different colors for many of the appliances which would also help you save if you want to go that route.
We just finished a DIY kitchen remodel, too. I was able to find granite for the same cost I was finding for some of the laminates, and the time frame was quicker for installation. You just have to shop around for the best deals on whatever you decide. We kept our black appliances and grey ceramic tile floor. We also didn't move any pipes or change the basic layout, which helped with costs, time and headaches. One of our biggest expenses was the electrician. We installed recessed lighting, undercabinet lighting (which I hadn't planned on and he suggested, which I'm glad we did), brought outlets up to code, moved switches and wired for a sunroom we're getting ready to build off the kitchen.
Something that helped me keep it all in perspective was just that, almost whatever we did was going to be an improvement, seeing as the kitchen was original vintage 1964.

That may not be the case for everyone, but for us it was. I'm very happy with the results.