Debbie Jean
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2005
- Messages
- 4,530
MrsPete said:I understand what you're saying, and I agree. But I think that people who are "hooked on shopping and spending" SAY that they're doing this, when actually they're just looking for a way to justify spending. For example, I used to look through clearance stuff at Target and buy it because it was cheap -- as often as not, the items were never used. That was not wise stockpiling. I still look at clearance things there, but I'm much more selective. Ditto for the Dollar Store. If you don't need and use the item, it's money wasted -- even if it was only a dollar.
The test is whether you really NEED the things or not. For example, I already have several pairs of black shoes in various styles and height of heel. I genuinely have all the black shoes I need. If I were to go out today and find a great pair at a great price, that would be money wasted. On the other hand, August will arrive all too soon, and my children will NEED school shoes. If I were to find these at a great price and hold them until school starts, that would be a wise buy. I will definitely have to shell out money for tennis shoes in August, so if I could pay $10 now instead of $30 then, it would be smart.
I think you hit on the right words in your post: RECREATIONAL SHOPPING. I think many, if not most women use shopping as a hobby. It's an expensive and time consuming hobby, and I think it doesn't bring long-term happiness.
Keep in mind that credit cards are not the problem -- overspending is the problem. Used wisely and paid off every month, a credit card can be a valuable tool. You can use it anywhere in the country, and you can rack up rewards.
My husband and I didn't have a credit card for the first ten years of our marriage -- we just never thought about it. About five years ago, because my FIL told us we could get money back from Discover, we got one. We've found it to be quicker than checks; however, we've never paid and will never pay one single cent in credit card interest. We use the same rules that we used before we had it: don't spend tomorrow's resources today.
Here's what we had when we were married in 1990: $200 between us, a brand-new mortgage, two jobs, and two cars -- one with a payment. We decided that we'd live frugally in the beginning to get a good financial start in our married life -- aside from accepting Christ, it was the best decision of our lives. We sold one car, and we shared the other for the next three years (we do not live anywhere near public transportation). We furnished our house in Salvation Army furniture. We bought clothes at yard sales. We put every other paycheck straight into savings. We were very happy.
Today we live in a large, paid-for house in a great neighborhood. We have two paid-for cars, retirement accounts that are on track, children's college funds that are on track, and no debt. Those first few years weren't always easy, but they were well worth the effort. We recognized that whatever we would've bought at that point would've been only a bit of temporary happiness anyway -- today we spend much more than we did back in our early married days, but we are not any happier than we were then.
I insulted the manager of Penny's the other day. I didn't mean to do it. He handed me my bag and said, "You saved $42." I said, "No, sir, I spent $20." The conversation went on from there. He was downright angry and didn't understand the point at all.
Wow, what a great post!
As a divorced, single, full time working mom, life has had its financial setbacks and challenges in the past few years.
But I know I am also guilty of many of the bad habits you mention. 
Thanks to everyone's inspiration and suggestions, I'm putting myself on a 4 year snowball plan to eliminate my credit card debt.
If I can do it, not only will the cards be paid, but the car note will be paid and my daughter will be out of college.
The idea of being able to live without the worry of all the bills is something I can hardly imagine but can't wait to experience.
Thanks all for this wondeful thread!


. As you say, there are really nice things to be found there, some never worn with the tags still on. And you can't beat the prices!

