Debt Dumpers 2026

[Twilghtsprkle]

Not all hot flashes are the typical ones though. I get extra hot when I get hot, which makes running and exercise super fun. I'm on HRT which when the levels are good, it helps, when it doesn't it sucks.

The brain fog is real though.

My mother ended up with brain fog after menopause but it was due to hemochromatosis. If a woman has it, it generally doesn’t show up until your period stops/slows down.

 

[barkley]

I remember perimenopause . just when Ihings started evening out and I saw a light at the end of the tunnel another member of my household entered puberty and started their cycle and just like back in the days when I worked in a unit of all women and our cycles would sync up with each others BOOM! I was back to pre perimenoupause but my body kept trying to sync up with the 'newbie' (who was not at all in sync)

yeah-fun times.

 

[focusondisney]

Before we say it’s menopause, ask if this is new for his wife or has she always been this way. They’ve been married 20 years if I remember right. He’s trying to make changes she’s not on board with. That doesn’t really suggest menopause issues as much as it does relationship & personality issues to me.

 

[Nettlelondon]

I had forgotten the brain fog! It was so bizarre to be incapable of the simplest thing that I knew I was normally totally able to do!

Fortunately my GP was great and quickly sorted HRT. As my breast cancer was non-hormonal I was able to continue it right through my treatment until I joined the clinical trial at which point I had to stop it as part of the conditions for being in the trial.

It was not easy for a few weeks but stopping HRT felt like the right decision.

 

[mmbrad02]

Just checking in. Dad had his open heart surgery on Wednesday. I dare say, it went beautifully! It was an incredibly long day but the dr called at 5:30pm and said it had gone very well, he was very pleased, and he did 4 bypasses (the plan was 3-4, if 3 went well, he would do the 4th). We got to see him about 7:30 and honestly it wasn't as scary as I had anticipated/dreaded. His color was good, and he had a fantastic nurse who explained things so well. She was very happy with his status at that point. We went home and called back at 11 and they had removed the vent already! We arrived back the next morning around 9 and he was in a recliner and awake (albeit a little foggy from everything). He got to skip ICU and went straight to cardiac stepdown. They had already removed one of the two chest tubes. He walked a couple of times yesterday and continues to do well. I came back home last night and I must admit - I am exhausted. I worked today and my husband, daughter, and I are headed back tonight to my parents house because they are on the hoarding side and we are going to work on cleaning their place up so they can function better when they get home.

My mom has had moments during this which has made it hard. She wasn't able to stay with him the first night and she went off on my sister and I. She was tired and hungry but she was very hateful and hurtful. She did settle down but it's hard because she gets over it quickly and forgets, and we are left to cope. I am glad my sister and I have each other though! She is now staying around the clock with him but.... from a caregiver perspective, isn't a lot of help. But my parents are stuck together like glue so perhaps she brings him comfort of some sort just being there. And he is her security blanket so I know she is right where she wants to be.

As for spending I will say my mom is very generous when it comes to making sure everyone is fed (sadly she cannot find her own way to the cafeteria so she is also dependent on someone being around). She paid for all but one of my meals while we were at the hospital. I had packed a cooler with drinks so that helped too. I did buy some nuggets, via fast food, on my way there and back, but overall finances not hit much.

During the process that was the least of my concerns but it is a positive note as well.

On the note of perimenopause I am in the throws of it with a 15 year old in the house with very irregular periods... I think I would probably be nearly menopausal (at 46) if it wasn't for my daughter She seems to keep my friend sporadically returning.

 

[afan]

On the note of perimenopause I am in the throws of it with a 15 year old in the house with very irregular periods... I think I would probably be nearly menopausal (at 46) if it wasn't for my daughter She seems to keep my friend sporadically returning

I have no one at home to mess with mine, also 46, for another month and a half, and it's been doing whatever it wants for 2 years when I stopped bc. There's no pattern or knowing when/how long. It can take years for it to stop. It could pop up at day 364 and reset the clock for menopause back to 1.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I wouldn't go looking for travel perk based cards if my short term goal was to get out of debt/long term was to save both more than a $1000 emergency fund/work towards saving to get a house. the travel perk cards of any 'value' always seem to come with an associated fee and I hate paying any kind of a fee for a card-the only reason I was recently willing to upgrade on my amex to a fee based was b/c the statement credit offer covered more than 2 years of fees and then the Disney+ monthly credit combined with 3% back by using it to pay for any of my streaming services more than covers it on an annual basis. the 6% back on groceries was the real appeal-i'm letting that pile up and plan to use it annually in November and December when I spend more than I traditionally budget on a monthly basis.

My travel card has a $95 annual fee and we get waaay more than that in free flight and hotel stays. We put everything on our card and pay it off each month.

Even a Discover card that has no annual fee and offers cash back each month is better than a card with an annual fee that gives you nothing except the ability to use their card while having bad credit. I say clean up the bad credit and get a better cc.

If he doesn't yet trust himself with a cc for fear of overspending, he shouldn't get any cc at all except the one he already has. It's good to have at least one for renting cars. That's a PITA with a debit card because they put a several hundred dollar hold on your card.

 

[EilonwyWanderer]

I remember perimenopause . just when Ihings started evening out and I saw a light at the end of the tunnel another member of my household entered puberty and started their cycle and just like back in the days when I worked in a unit of all women and our cycles would sync up with each others BOOM! I was back to pre perimenoupause but my body kept trying to sync up with the 'newbie' (who was not at all in sync)

yeah-fun times.

Are you me? This is me right now with my oldest.

 

[Tygerlilly]

I've already hit the peri-menopause stage (even though i'm only 36) and while I haven't had any anxiety like that luckily, I definitely just have a lack of motivation for literally everything. Could even border maybe a little bit of depression. I find myself getting irritated with things super easy, and like you said for things that it's not necessarily warranted for. I also find it more difficult to regulate my body temp sometimes. Some other symptoms that would be more TMI than what i've already shared. But all of this comes in waves and is not super consistent.

We all know females have monthly cycles, generally of course there's those with medical issues, but it shouldn't be so taboo.

I feel like I'm at the peri stage. I have so many of the symptoms. I have a doctor appointment in a couple months to re-check my A1C and just generally follow up, but I want to discuss some possible options for the not so distant future.

The period talk was something that was never mentioned in my house growing up. My girls are getting super close to puberty age and I'm trying to normalize talking about it but man that's a hard wall to break down.

 

[EilonwyWanderer]

My very nearly 12 year old just got hers for the first time this month. I thought I had normalized it, but she was like, in denial and was aghast every time I'd be like "make sure you change your pad when you go to the bathroom" and I asked if she told her friends and she was horrified at the thought.

Sigh.

 

[afan]

I feel like I'm at the peri stage. I have so many of the symptoms. I have a doctor appointment in a couple months to re-check my A1C and just generally follow up, but I want to discuss some possible options for the not so distant future.

The period talk was something that was never mentioned in my house growing up. My girls are getting super close to puberty age and I'm trying to normalize talking about it but man that's a hard wall to break down.

I learned more in school than from my mom but she would get what brands I wanted.

She never talked about menopause and doesn't remember. She also says she had hormone issues and I know conceiving took awhile so she uses that as the reason for not thinking it was much.

Thankfully we don't have the temperature battle any more, at least with the heat. We'll see what happens with the ac this summer. I can at least control my room but the rest of the house also doesn't need to be so warm. This has also been a battle long before peri started.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

My very nearly 12 year old just got hers for the first time this month. I thought I had normalized it, but she was like, in denial and was aghast every time I'd be like "make sure you change your pad when you go to the bathroom" and I asked if she told her friends and she was horrified at the thought.

Sigh.

I was only 9 so yeah, my mom had to sit me down and give me the whole story. We hadn't even learned it in school yet but she drew me a diagram and explained it all quite well. I couldn't get over the idea that physically, I could have a baby.

 

[EilonwyWanderer]

When she was freaking out as she realized what was happening I jokingly, trying to lighten the mood, said, "Hooray, you're not pregnant!"

She didn't think it was funny

 

[Tygerlilly]

$30 for a child's shirt for state gymnastics meets is criminal.

Why are event specific things so dang expensive?!

 

[firefly_ris]

$30 for a child's shirt for state gymnastics meets is criminal.

Why are event specific things so dang expensive?!

It's insane.

My son is signed up for travel soccer, $300 but then you have to pay an additiona $86 for the uniform. 86 bucks for a shirt and shorts?!

 

[Tygerlilly]

It's insane.

My son is signed up for travel soccer, $300 but then you have to pay an additiona $86 for the uniform. 86 bucks for a shirt and shorts?!

Oh, we just got hit with our $100 summer leo for gymnastics. Then we'll have the $150-200 leo for competition season we'll have to buy for November. It's insane.

On the plus side, this is the last month for having to pay meet fees until November. Yay for saving $78/month for a few months.

 

[EilonwyWanderer]

Try Irish Step. $750 for a teams costume (new) or $500 for a user one, if you're lucky $700+ for a used solo dress, if you're not you're paying $2000+ to have one made. About $112 every competition you enter, unless it's a big one and then it's more like $250 plus any hotel fees you need to spend.

Repeat for the costumes every time they grow out of them. Two sets of competition shoes too!