Debt Dumpers 2025

if your mom has any tendancies to hide stuff away make sure to shake any books/open any VHS or DVD holders, check pockets of any clothing to be tossed. photo frames are also hideaway spots for documents and money with some older adults so pull the photos out and see what lurks beneath

Goes for any seat cushions with zippers, pillows etc. I still remember various news stories over the years of stuff donated to local thrift stores that had large amounts of money stashed inside that no one new to check for.
 
you reminded me of a good laugh we had when purging my mom's house to sell it. mom had a reputation among us for forgetting where she hid Christmas presents and we would inevitably end up getting something OBVIOUSLY meant for Christmas in an Easter basket or as an 'extra' birthday gift. by the time mom sells and moves into assisted living all of us were ranging from our 40's to near 60's so no need to be hiding anymore YET we find, under a pile of long unused linens holiday socks wrapped and ready to be put in one of our childhood stockings :rotfl: . we also had a laugh over how many old cool-whip containers she had washed and squirreled away in the cabinets.

if your mom has any tendancies to hide stuff away make sure to shake any books/open any VHS or DVD holders, check pockets of any clothing to be tossed. photo frames are also hideaway spots for documents and money with some older adults so pull the photos out and see what lurks beneath.

Her and my dad both liked to collect and stash things. I've been having to open EVERY. SINGLE. BOX. in that house and in all the boxes there's MORE boxes filled with random whatevers.

I'm never going to buy another mechanical pencil or lead for as long as I live. I've found handfuls of pencils and packs of lead in probably 40 different random boxes over the last week. 😂
 
I'm never going to buy another mechanical pencil or lead for as long as I live. I've found handfuls of pencils and packs of lead in probably 40 different random boxes over the last week. 😂

my mil passed in 2010-i still have decades worth of post it notes and small note pads along with greeting cards for any occasion :rotfl: as for pens and pencils and leads and erasers-at the end of every school year I would have my kids empty their backpacks and unload the supplies they brought home. it is like a walk down memory lane when you go to grab a pen, pencil or eraser here-you can estimate how old one is by the decor (lots of disney and video game themed).
 
I think it will. We have it priced pretty low compared to comps because I'm not doing any work to it. It's not bad, it's just not as nice as all the newly updated homes around. But the price reflects that and is fair. We're starting right around where I was thinking I'd like to be so that we end up at my "hopeful goal" for sale once all fees and such are included. With there already being 2 offers, I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I am a little hopeful it may sell above asking.

She seems to be okay with it. She just isn't grasping she can't take everything with her and is dragging her feet actually getting things done. I told her she has Monday to get anything else she wants put in a specific spot because once the dumpster arrives I'm tossing everything not nailed down.

My grandmother moved in with my parents when she was around 91. Prior to that, she was always so emotionally attached to so many things in her house including the house itself.

I didn’t ask her what exactly she brought with her when she moved but after she died I found out. It was all of her photos, her wedding invitation, the invitation to my father’s college commencement ceremony and a few mementos from her parents.

When it comes right down to it, most of the stuff we think is so important to us, really isn’t.
 
my mil passed in 2010-i still have decades worth of post it notes and small note pads along with greeting cards for any occasion :rotfl: as for pens and pencils and leads and erasers-at the end of every school year I would have my kids empty their backpacks and unload the supplies they brought home. it is like a walk down memory lane when you go to grab a pen, pencil or eraser here-you can estimate how old one is by the decor (lots of disney and video game themed).
My dads gets a lot of this stuff. Once you donate to a charity, your name goes on The List and you get hammered for pleas to donate to every other charity. My dad would give to most of them, $5-10 here and there. Some send note pads, some greeting cards, and some return address labels.
He has enough of all these things to cover 3 lifetimes.
It’s insane.
 
My grandmother moved in with my parents when she was around 91. Prior to that, she was always so emotionally attached to so many things in her house including the house itself.

I didn’t ask her what exactly she brought with her when she moved but after she died I found out. It was all of her photos, her wedding invitation, the invitation to my father’s college commencement ceremony and a few mementos from her parents.

When it comes right down to it, most of the stuff we think is so important to us, really isn’t.

I'm totally fine with photos and invitations, etc. What I'm not overly fond of is moving 3000 boxes of craft supplies that have 3" of dust on them because she "needs" them.

My dad saved everything. Old empty pill bottles filled with random screws, empty boxes, old food containers that were washed out and then filled with broken pieces of things and then all those were put in another box and put in ANOTHER box and shoved in a closet or piled in a corner.


I found boxes and boxes of tax paperwork from 2012, 2013, and 2014 piled up in a corner of the entry way. Not anything useful, just boxes of receipts and statements from bills. Nothing that needed kept for the last 10 years.
 
My dads gets a lot of this stuff. Once you donate to a charity, your name goes on The List and you get hammered for pleas to donate to every other charity. My dad would give to most of them, $5-10 here and there. Some send note pads, some greeting cards, and some return address labels.
He has enough of all these things to cover 3 lifetimes.
It’s insane.
YES so...many...freaking...return address stickers, we tossed them all.

I found boxes and boxes of tax paperwork from 2012, 2013, and 2014 piled up in a corner of the entry way. Not anything useful, just boxes of receipts and statements from bills. Nothing that needed kept for the last 10 years.
on paperwork-if your parents lived (as singletons and as married) in different locations over their lives and you come across anything that connects them to a prior address (w2, old utility bill, old receipts...) hold on to at least one for every address you can find. reason being-if something is floating out their in the world like an old utility deposit refund or an overpayment on bill or a long forgotten little bank account it can be turned over at some point to the state who then lists it on their website for the owner (or their heirs) to claim. with some things it's easy and just an id and ssn work, with others they want proof the claimant is the person who lived at the last known address that whomever turned it over had.
 
My FIL keeps the envelopes that letters come in. Not with the letters, in a separate pile. When we asked why he said it was because they could be used for identity fraud and he is saving them so he can shred them when he can get to his shredder.

However, there are a couple of issues with this argument. 1. They are window envelopes so his address is not on them, it was on the letter thatt was inside which is stored somewhere else and 2. his shredder is in the basement which he has not been able to go in to for years and years and never will again. We have bought a replacement but that wasn't acceptable (wrong size of cut or something).

Every now and then we will smuggle some out - and whilst he was in hospital we got rid of the build up but they are starting to pile up again.

And seeds. Random margarine tubs of seeds. Some labelled helpfully ("kale - the good one, not nasty" for example), some less so ("unknown seeds - possibly mixture of flowers & veg"). He hasn't planted anything in the garden for 10 years.

But does he keep useful things? Nope - we needed the car service log when selling his car the other week. No sign of it whatsoever. Why he hadn't left it in the car like most people we have no clue!
 
I'm totally fine with photos and invitations, etc. What I'm not overly fond of is moving 3000 boxes of craft supplies that have 3" of dust on them because she "needs" them.

My dad saved everything. Old empty pill bottles filled with random screws, empty boxes, old food containers that were washed out and then filled with broken pieces of things and then all those were put in another box and put in ANOTHER box and shoved in a closet or piled in a corner.


I found boxes and boxes of tax paperwork from 2012, 2013, and 2014 piled up in a corner of the entry way. Not anything useful, just boxes of receipts and statements from bills. Nothing that needed kept for the last 10 years.
She wasn’t quite that bad but she saved hospital gowns (patient gowns and the yellow visitor gowns) from when her mother was hospitalized.
At first she couldn’t part with any of these things when she was initially going to downsize and she still had the choice to move or not. All of us being there and going through her stuff was stressing her out so bad, she was having a breakdown. She decided not to sell and stayed another 10 years.

When she started falling and knew she really had to leave, it was a lot easier to part with all that junk.

I think people who grew up poor, especially during the depression, have such a different mindset that it just kills them to throw anything away.
 
on paperwork-if your parents lived (as singletons and as married) in different locations over their lives and you come across anything that connects them to a prior address (w2, old utility bill, old receipts...) hold on to at least one for every address you can find.

I have saved back any important things and papers with previous addresses I've found. I even have some from my grandparents with their old address on it.
 
I hope it sells quickly for you. :goodvibes How is your mom doing with all of it?

Ds24 has his closing on Wednesday. He is so excited. :cloud9: :hourglass
We found out later that his offer was accepted despite the seller getting another offer for $10k more than his. His agent said they chose his offer because he has a great credit score, has a very large down payment, and he's getting a conventional mortgage, not FHA or some special first time homebuyer's assistance. Those things tend to cause delays. It took a month and 6 days to go from accepting the offer to closing.

I wanted to surprise him with a care package from Amazon of cleaning supplies, laundry detergent, a mop, cleaning cloths, toilet plunger, etc. but it really adds up quickly and I'd rather buy it as subscribe & save to get the 15% discount but to do that you have to order in advance and I'm afraid to do it now, before it's official, just in case some issue arises. Maybe I can have it arrive next weekend. He insists it's immaculate and doesn't need cleaning. :rolleyes:

He's been working 6 12-hr shifts per week all winter and just packing away all that OT $$. I don't even tell him to just keep swimming.

That is awesome! Better to get that overtime while he's young so he can set himself up for comfortable life.
 
I think people who grew up poor, especially during the depression, have such a different mindset that it just kills them to throw anything away.

This is absolutely true. My parents were both depression era babies & my mom became a hoarder. Garbage went out, but she had kept everything people here have talked about & more. Our dad died at 85 in 2015, mom at 89 in 2022. One sibling had moved in to help them & stayed in the house until they retired & purchased a home. We’re just now close to selling their house. We’ve been working for most of the 3 years since mom died to clean everything out.

We tried getting some stuff cleaned out while she was alive & she just couldn’t do it. In addition to their own belongings, my mom was executor for her parents & 2 aunts. So she had stuff from them as well. None of my family ever had much money, so nothing any of them had was truly collectible. We did have someone come in & look thru things & there was very little worth selling. I was shredding their tax documents & bank statements from the 90s. Heck, we found the bill of sale from a Volkswagen mini bus they bought in the last 60s.

Nothing compares to cleaning out a parent’s home, it’s so hard. Hugs to everyone dealing with it. :grouphug:
 
Heck, we found the bill of sale from a Volkswagen mini bus they bought in the last 60s.
in the folder mil always pointed out the location of and reminded dh contained 'the important vital documents in the event of my death' we found car servicing records for a car long gone, years old dog vaccination/licensing docs and receipts for one of her family member's cremation-nothing that pertained to HER. a friend was faced with boxes and boxes of important paperwork co-mingled with decades of appliance books and warranties-he would call us complaining 'why? why? why? which we had no answer to (but we did appreciate that he found all the paperwork for her circa 50's kitchenaide mixer that he had gifted us :thumbsup2 ).

helping our friend and then dealing with so much accumulated paperwork (and possessions) with our parents really brought it home for dh and I that we did'nt want our kids dealing with the same. I purged so much paperwork, the paperwork that I want to hold on to but I know is not needed after our deaths is in boxes that are labeled to be shredded, stuff that is pertinent to our disabled adult son that MUST be retained for his lifetime is clearly marked and has an explanatory note detailing WHY it must be retained.
 
It's been a minute and debt continues to accumulate due to us just living well beyond our means (looking at you, Disney trips).

I copied this format from someone else in the thread (thank you I forgot how to do this).

Anyway:

Financial
  1. Still haven't started 529s. Starting to wonder if it's even worth it or if we just resign ourselves to All The Loans. Any thoughts?
  2. Pay down the credit card and keep it below 30k (ideally below 20k but let's set realistic goals). This is a big one because once this is under control (it has been out of control for SO LONG!) then we can...
  3. Pay off an 11k loan we took out to join a local swim and tennis club. I know, I about had a heart attack when we got the invitation after being on the waitlist for SO LONG and had thought it would only be about 6k, but there's NOWHERE to swim around here and both my kids LOVE swimming and going forward the dues aren't bad and it's something they're going to really love as teenagers. Plus joining the country club was six figures and hahahahahah no. no. nooooooo. Not for us.
  4. Build up some savings. Right now we're throwing money at the credit card each month just to try to pay it off. Huge amounts. Ridiculous amounts. I did the math the other day and do you know how much we could've paid down our mortgage with what we throw at the credit card?! It was sobering.

Health, Fitness & Self Care
  1. Keep off the weight I lost this year. I lost about 40 pounds from June-December on Wegovy but the downside was it made me tremendously ill. I fought with the insurance company for awhile to try to get them to okay a lower dosage (they only wanted to keep increasing it!) but ultimately decided my quality of life was worth more than rapidly dropping weight. I will say that it DID work, but it did not feel healthy for me (I was vomiting up to 3x a day and just always felt fatigue and awful). Right now I've gained about 10 back, which honestly I don't think is bad considering my body is still figuring things out and I'm still figuring out hunger cues and it's been 4 months. But obviously, I don't want that to increase any more. I'm hoping when the weather gets better I can...
  2. Walk at least 2 miles a day. Weather permitting.
  3. Start spending one-on-one time with the kids. We tend to do a lot of things as a family which is nice, but I think both girls would benefit from some one-on-one mommy and me time.

Food & Kitchen
  1. Cook more at home! I actually have an instagram where I was posting all my bakes since the pandemic, but last year with the Wegovy side effects I dropped off hard--I just had no energy to do it. I should pick that back up. This requires the husband to stick to going food shopping on Sundays--something that often falls by the wayside which is why we end up with takeout because there's nothing in the house. That's gotta stop!
  2. Purge. We have SO MANY stuffed animals that have never been looked at.

Home
  1. Fix the dining room. We had it painted 3 years ago and promptly stopped using it. I think the red we chose is just too aggressive and everyone avoids that room. Time to repaint it!
  2. Learn how to do some home improvements myself. I watch too many DIY youtubes where they're like 'you just nail these things to the wall and now you have a perfect space!' and I know, I KNOW that it's harder than that and its hard to find studs in our plaster and lathe walls. But I CAN do things! And I should try.
  3. Our back deck is rotten and has been since we purchased the house 5 years ago, I'd like to finally get that torn down and new back stairs built.
  4. Our sun room likewise has never been used as anything other than storage since the windows in there are metal frames from the 60s and ALL OF THEM ARE BROKEN IN DIFFERENT WAYS. So in the summer it's bug central and in the winter it's freezing. I'd like to at LEAST replace the windows, but also have someone out to look at it in general since I think it actually used to be a porch that someone enclosed (probably themselves) and I would love to have an actual usable room there!
  5. Some big decisions really need to be made so that we can work on some home improvements--we've always had this idea in the back of our mind that once we win the lottery we'd tear down this 100 year old house with all its issues (old wiring that you can't fix unless you open the walls, which are lathe and plaster so a HUGE PAIN to do anything with, not up to code plumbing, lots of 'someone hired their son/nephew to do this upgrade' things...) since one plan seems to snowball into others ( I want to tear down the deck and built stairs off the sunroom. But the sunroom isn't usable, so I'd like to maybe rebuild that. But if we do that why not raise it up to have a second level to add to the second floor? But the second floor was once just an attic and so very small so if we're doing that why not raise the roof and if we're doing that why not tear it down...etc etcetc
It all just leads us to be paralyzed about a lot of decisions (should we redo the basement if ultimately we want to do a tear-down that we may never be able to afford??) and I'm tired of it. We'll have been here for 5 years in July and we NEED to start doing something. Which costs $$$, which doesn't help with debt, but it feels like that's good home improvement debt? I don't know.
 
Still haven't started 529s. Starting to wonder if it's even worth it or if we just resign ourselves to All The Loans. Any thoughts?
I have a 19 and 17 year old. My 19 year old is in his first year of college and my 17 year old is graduating HS this year. He do not have any money saved for them and they are paying for college on their own. Both will be living at home so we cover food (if eating at home or we go out. They cover any extra going out with friends) and they live here for free. I also work for a college access programs working with scholarships for college. Here is just my personal take on this.

I wish we had set up a 529 plan for them. This is one way that we would have been able to help. We were pretty poor and living pay check to pay check when we had them. We had no extra money to put aside. I got a new job when my youngest was 6 months old and have continued to move up and I am now a manager. DH has continued to grow at his work as well. Once we got more comfortable I wish we put like $25 a month into the 529 plan but instead we went on vacations to Disney and a Disney cruise. DS (the 19 year old) will have a lot of loans as he also really didn't do scholarships. DD (17 Year old) had much better grades and has done a lot of scholarships so as of right now will only owe about $2000 a year that she has saved already, but she wants to be a doctor and with have the loans later on. To me any little bit to help them not be in a lot of debt after graduation I would go for. We are trying to set them up financially as best we can. We will also let them stay at home as long as they would like to be able to pay loans off faster.
 
I have a 19 and 17 year old. My 19 year old is in his first year of college and my 17 year old is graduating HS this year. He do not have any money saved for them and they are paying for college on their own. Both will be living at home so we cover food (if eating at home or we go out. They cover any extra going out with friends) and they live here for free. I also work for a college access programs working with scholarships for college. Here is just my personal take on this.

I wish we had set up a 529 plan for them. This is one way that we would have been able to help. We were pretty poor and living pay check to pay check when we had them. We had no extra money to put aside. I got a new job when my youngest was 6 months old and have continued to move up and I am now a manager. DH has continued to grow at his work as well. Once we got more comfortable I wish we put like $25 a month into the 529 plan but instead we went on vacations to Disney and a Disney cruise. DS (the 19 year old) will have a lot of loans as he also really didn't do scholarships. DD (17 Year old) had much better grades and has done a lot of scholarships so as of right now will only owe about $2000 a year that she has saved already, but she wants to be a doctor and with have the loans later on. To me any little bit to help them not be in a lot of debt after graduation I would go for. We are trying to set them up financially as best we can. We will also let them stay at home as long as they would like to be able to pay loans off faster.

I think it's great to help one's children with educational or other 'adult' expenses if one desires to do so BUT if it comes at the cost of remaining in overwhelming debt/incurring more debt/not having savings/short changing retirement savings- then (from what i've personally observed) it's likely to create havoc for their children down the line both emotionally and financially.

I say this because I know/read of far too many adult children in their 30's and beyond who are blindsided when their parents retire or one parent takes seriously ill or passes and they come to learn that the parents have little to no means of financial support/can't reasonably pay their day to day expenses (even absent any remaining debt). households in the midst of raising kids, balancing their own expenses faced with trying to come up with the means to support 1-2 others. it's a terrible position to put an adult child into and it can create a ripple effect wherein not only are they not able to help THEIR children with educational costs down the line they not so infrequently have to abandon their one employed parent/one stay at home parent set-up and start non funding their own retirement/accruing debt to help makes ends meet.

I've seen the emotional impact hitting 3rd generations. in the situation i'm familiar with the grandparents (to their own financial detriment) helped their kids with education and lots of other adult expenses. the grandkids grew up never knowing the extent to which their parents were financially helped out so they just assumed that the careers their parents were in was perfectly fine to cover their (parent's) college education at high cost private schools, everything they (kids) had growing up (private schools, extracurriculars, lots of costly 'enrichment' travel programs in school/college, costly vacations) so they chose to go into similar career paths attending the same high cost private college. flash forward to the grandkids post graduation and coming to the realization that it's financially pretty tight to make those student loan payments in their career paths but they shake that off with 'if our parents did it we can do it'. a few more years down the line and they decide to have their own kids and find it's financially even tighter but 'mom and dad did it so it must be possible'. those kids age up and the assumption they can go to the same private k-12 schools they went to are being met with the reality that it's not financially possible, let alone the extra curriculars they took for granted, let alone recreating the family vacation memories...these young adults are left feeling like failures b/c 'mom and dad did it, why can't we, we must be doing something wrong, why are we failures...'. it is devastating to watch, devastating moreso b/c despite all the help from the grandparents, their parents have never disclosed all the help they received and the debt they are accruing to maintain their lifestyle (at the expense of their own retirement) and will likely be coming to those kids with THEIR financial needs in a few years when they are forced to retire.

again, I think it's great to help one's kids out-but is it really helping them out if in reality you're just shifting the financial cost to them (and their children) years down to the line?
 
I'm very open with my kids re: what makes money and what doesn't when it comes to careers and what our financial situation is like at any given moment, so I'm not worried about anything like that. I'm more worried about how FAFSA will view a 529.
 
I'm very open with my kids re: what makes money and what doesn't when it comes to careers and what our financial situation is like at any given moment, so I'm not worried about anything like that. I'm more worried about how FAFSA will view a 529.
I also need to do real research in how FAFSA views a 529 versus other means of saving for college. My kids range from 3-14 and, unfortunately, we did not start early off with our oldest. I'm clinging to the philosophy of "something is better than nothing" now. But I also don't want to do anything that actually creates more difficulties either...
 
It's been a minute and debt continues to accumulate due to us just living well beyond our means (looking at you, Disney trips).

I copied this format from someone else in the thread (thank you I forgot how to do this).

Anyway:
Thanks for being so bold and courageous to share this with everyone. I think you are asking information from us, so I will try to offer some help.
Financial
  1. Still haven't started 529s. Starting to wonder if it's even worth it or if we just resign ourselves to All The Loans. Any thoughts?
529s are a great idea. Not sure what age your kids are - but every little bit would help them. Both Suze Orman and Dave Ramsey would suggest not putting money into the kid's college plans until you are financially secure.
  1. Pay down the credit card and keep it below 30k (ideally below 20k but let's set realistic goals). This is a big one because once this is under control (it has been out of control for SO LONG!) then we can...
Not sure where things are and how far away they are. But a couple ideas - if you are feeling it is out of control totally:
- Consider a 0% balance transfer if you're not already at low debt amounts.
- Find ways to cut costs so more of your money can go to paying off the credit cards
  1. Pay off an 11k loan we took out to join a local swim and tennis club. I know, I about had a heart attack when we got the invitation after being on the waitlist for SO LONG and had thought it would only be about 6k, but there's NOWHERE to swim around here and both my kids LOVE swimming and going forward the dues aren't bad and it's something they're going to really love as teenagers. Plus joining the country club was six figures and hahahahahah no. no. nooooooo. Not for us.
I understand the need, makes sense. I would however, recommend viewing all your debt as one big chunk.
  1. Build up some savings. Right now we're throwing money at the credit card each month just to try to pay it off. Huge amounts. Ridiculous amounts. I did the math the other day and do you know how much we could've paid down our mortgage with what we throw at the credit card?! It was sobering.
Credit Card debt is so expensive... It truly is...

You may have already done this, but it wouldn't be a bad idea to check out the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps or Suze Orman's approach to paying down debt. Ramsey gives you psychological wins which help keep you motivated, and Orman gives you the best way to most efficiently pay down the debt.
Home

It all just leads us to be paralyzed about a lot of decisions (should we redo the basement if ultimately we want to do a tear-down that we may never be able to afford??) and I'm tired of it. We'll have been here for 5 years in July and we NEED to start doing something. Which costs $$$, which doesn't help with debt, but it feels like that's good home improvement debt? I don't know.
Without knowing your debt-to-income ratio it is hard to speak to this. My view generally is I would wait on any projects on the house until you know this will make it more profitable when you sell or make it (more like) somewhere you never want to leave. My suggestion would be to hold off on more projects until your debt is at least to the level you would like it to be - which means paying off the $11k loan and getting the CC down to the level you find more manageable.
 
It's been a couple weeks, so checking in to hold myself accountable. Only listing the items that have had some progress...

Financial
  1. Get true starting number for all debts - I have this number but I'm not brave enough to share it yet
  2. Max out Husband's 401K match - Set up to deduct from paycheck automatically. Need to double-check because I believe it is set slightly too high for the requirements. If so we will adjust to start maxing out his Roth IRA.
  3. Earn $46,000 (I work part-time from home and this is a big stretch goal) - ($7,268.77/$46,000)

Family
  1. 10 Mom or Dad & son outings - 5 with each of us (2/5 with Dad)
  2. 10 Mom or Dad & middle daughter outings - 5 with each of us (1/5 with Mom)

Health, Fitness & Self Care
  1. Read 26 books - 4/26 (started the 5th a couple nights ago)
  2. Get to 135 pounds - this is for health reasons as well as vanity and hoping it will alleviate joint pain - opposite of progress happening here
  3. All 3 health annuals for all 3 kids - 4/9
  4. Floss nightly x200 - I went 40 years without dental issues and now they are hitting one after another; hopeful making this a habit will reverse some of those issues! - 12/200
  5. Nightly face care x200 - I am so bad about this and it's showing with age! - 1/200
  6. Nightly family walks x150 - this used to be a habit before Husband's brain tumor and we all miss it! - 3/150

Food & Kitchen
  1. 7 day pantry/fridge/freezer challenge - opposite of progress happening here :(

Home
  1. Purge & organize 14 rooms - 1/14 my study is complete, started master bathroom

I'd like to be further along but reminding myself that some progress is better than no progress.
 



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