Dear Kotex

[LuvN~Travel]

OMG this is TOO FUNNY! Next time I'm ready to ride the cotton pony, I'm gonna remember this!

ROFL! never heard it called that! A 2 x 4 yes, but not cotton pony.
Hilarious.

Now...I think we all need to print this out and tape it to the bathroom mirror for our husbands/boyfriends. I do like to give fair warning... sometimes.
Kim

 

[paigevz]

One question: has anyone emailed this to the Kotex company?

 

[4nana]

OMG this is TOO FUNNY! Next time I'm ready to ride the cotton pony, I'm gonna remember this!

OMG Christy, the 'cotton pony' is a new one on me!!!


AND just think.... I learned it on the DIS!!!

 

[DISUNC]

Because women don't spend 1/2 an hour in the bathroom, unlike some genders.... (and my DH)...

hmmmmmmmmmmm what what gender you are refering too????

 

[VickiVM]

I hope the OP doesn't mind but I sent this to my YaYa sisters who will send to their sisters and so on and so on....

It's too funny not to share with all our YaYa sisters (and daughters, aunts, cousins, even moms!)

 

[disneydiva06]

OMG Christy, the 'cotton pony' is a new one on me!!!


AND just think.... I learned it on the DIS!!!

Well I couldn't possibly take full credit for it....my high school sweetheart's mom used to say that. I guess that's what happens when she's the only girl in a house full of boys!

Oh, and some dh's only take 1/2 hour?? I WISH I was that lucky!

 

[tigerdragon]

This is one of the funniest threads I've ever read on here. Cotton pony and 2 x 4 are both new ones to me. BTW, my DH thought this thread was hilarious, too. He's one of those rare men that will go to the store by himself and buy those "pretty bright pink packages". He first did that for me after only a few months of dating, I knew he was a keeper then.

 

[disneydiva06]

This is one of the funniest threads I've ever read on here. Cotton pony and 2 x 4 are both new ones to me. BTW, my DH thought this thread was hilarious, too. He's one of those rare men that will go to the store by himself and buy those "pretty bright pink packages". He first did that for me after only a few months of dating, I knew he was a keeper then.

Hehe...I hear ya! My dh actually takes the empty package with him, since he's notorious for buying the wrong thing!

 

[Cantw8]

wait. Does this mean you don't walk down the beach and discuss how fresh you are with your mother????? Doesn't everyone????

 

[N&B'smom]

That is a hilarious post!!! I can REALLY laugh now since I just had a hysterectomy and will no longer require the use of any of those products. My silver lining.

Shelby

 

[disneydiva06]

wait. Does this mean you don't walk down the beach and discuss how fresh you are with your mother????? Doesn't everyone????

Well I know I still do. Only now, we have this little game we play called Maxi Pad Trivia. It's all the rage.

 

[robertsmom]

Anyone notice no guys have posted to this thread

That's cause the guys are shrugging and going "Why is that funny?"

 

[Cantw8]

Well I know I still do. Only now, we have this little game we play called Maxi Pad Trivia. It's all the rage.

well my mom's 67 so she needs cliff notes 'cause she forgets

 

[disneydiva06]

well my mom's 67 so she needs cliff notes 'cause she forgets

Oh well in that case, it's the Remember When...version, complete with belts to see if you still remember exactly how they worked.....

 

[HOGFAN]

FANTASTIC!!!

 

[DiznEeyore]

 

[MariDisney]

to the OP.. thanks for the best laugh i've had all week! at this point i don't know if i should pray for a period or thank my lucky stars that they seem to have disappeared.. 4+ months and nothing... and no, i'm NOT pregnant.

anyway... off topic... but you know how the DIS has ads on each page that somehow have meaning to the subject matter.. well, this disgusting one was on this page!!

Green Menstruation?
Healthy pad/tampon alternatives. Lots of info, FAQs, and sale items.
www.manymoons.biz

Oh, I gotta tell you that it's not gross! At the risk of sharing TMI...I use reusable products (cloth pads, and the Keeper) and it's SO much better than paper for me. I'll never go back.

 

[TiffinyKC]

What a funny post....the cotton pony, I've never heard it called that before. Priceless.

 

[luvflorida]

Dear Kotex:

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch
of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:

*Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
*Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
*Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
*Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed
a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that
drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell... but go ahead... I triple-dog-friggin-dare-ya... See what happens and report back. I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate
from the vending machine. I garan-friggin-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated.

Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the only activities that interest me are eating..sleeping..b****ing.. or crying for no apparent reason... and oh... does ripping someone's head off count as a friggin' activity????

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from elderly relatives. Veteran females have concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol & barbituates.

Printing out crappy advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was
already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is enough to send consumers running to the Always brand.

It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces
or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or packaging. Put the
crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly
and have it blend in among the wine and beer.

There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package
announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya just
add an in-store microphone to the darn package to announce that...
Helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!

So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & smiley faces and shove them right up your a**.

P.S. How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a shot of Bourbon to your packages instead!!!

Please, don't hold back. Tell us how you REALLY feel!

Hilarious thread!

 

[paigevz]

Oh, I gotta tell you that it's not gross! At the risk of sharing TMI...I use reusable products (cloth pads, and the Keeper) and it's SO much better than paper for me. I'll never go back.

Well, "green menstruation" is not the best way to put it! Sure sounds gross!