Dear Kotex

[momrek06]

I can't take credit for this unfortunatly. My sis sent it to me in an email.

Well, Phorsenuf: You still ROCK for bringing it to every women's attention here on the DIS because it really is hysterical!!!

 

[disneydiva06]

OMG this is TOO FUNNY! Next time I'm ready to ride the cotton pony, I'm gonna remember this!

 

[wdwmom2]

OMG this is TOO FUNNY! Next time I'm ready to ride the cotton pony, I'm gonna remember this!

 

[fanofdisney]

That time of the month? Are we happy yet?

 

[monarchsfan16]

And THAT is why I buy Always

 

[mickeysgal]

Next time I'm ready to ride the cotton pony, I'm gonna remember this!

 

[Kitty 34]

Thanks ladies for this "happy" thread!!

Beats a happy period any day!!!

 

[Sandy22]

 

[disneydiva06]

LOL Has anyone else noticed that we now have ads for KOTEX at the top of the thread??

 

[goofy's friends]

Good one!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Nancy]

and oh... does ripping someone's head off count as a friggin' activity????

7 days out of the month yes it does! I never laughed so hard about that time of the month. Too, too funny

 

[AprilShowers]

Funniest thing I've read in a long time!!!!!

 

[Sthronds]

2 foreign travelers came to the U.S. and had very little money. They grew very bored and the older one told the younger one to take their last $5.00 and go to town and buy something fun for them to do. When he returned he had a box of
Kotex. The older brother looked it over and became angry and started yelling at his brother and telling him how stupid
he was for wasting their last $5.00. The younger brother said "listen, you don't understand.....it says right here on the
box that you can water ski, swim, play tennis etc. while wearing one of these.........

 

[dmslush]

 

[lowie]

to the OP.. thanks for the best laugh i've had all week! at this point i don't know if i should pray for a period or thank my lucky stars that they seem to have disappeared.. 4+ months and nothing... and no, i'm NOT pregnant.

anyway... off topic... but you know how the DIS has ads on each page that somehow have meaning to the subject matter.. well, this disgusting one was on this page!!

Green Menstruation?
Healthy pad/tampon alternatives. Lots of info, FAQs, and sale items.
www.manymoons.biz

 

[TheDisneyTraveler06]

Dear Kotex:

I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my pantiliner had a bunch
of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:

*Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
*Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
*Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
*Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...

Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed
a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that
drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling fresh. Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell... but go ahead... I triple-dog-friggin-dare-ya... See what happens and report back. I'll wait.

While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate
from the vending machine. I garan-friggin-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated.

Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the only activities that interest me are eating..sleeping..b****ing.. or crying for no apparent reason... and oh... does ripping someone's head off count as a friggin' activity????

Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from elderly relatives. Veteran females have concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol & barbituates.

Printing out crappy advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that was
already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is enough to send consumers running to the Always brand.

It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces
or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or packaging. Put the
crap in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly
and have it blend in among the wine and beer.

There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package
announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya just
add an in-store microphone to the darn package to announce that...
Helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!

So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & smiley faces and shove them right up your a**.

P.S. How about adding a free sample of Pamprin & maybe a shot of Bourbon to your packages instead!!!

Cathy, you are a trip!

Thanks, so, so, SO much for making me laugh out loud tonight.

I was having a bad night, and you just made it 1000% better!

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

I haven't laughed this hard in awhile. Thank you!

 

[beckmrk04]

ALong these lines- the next time I see a magazine cover with a happy glowing pregnant woman, I'm suing for false advertisement.

 

[DISUNC]

Man butting in here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why dont they just put Triva questions on them, like they do with Pringles???

 

[beckmrk04]

Man butting in here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why dont they just put Triva questions on them, like they do with Pringles???

Because women don't spend 1/2 an hour in the bathroom, unlike some genders.... (and my DH)...