Dear diary,
Friday, 8:30 am: The electricity goes out. Why? Apparently the drizzly rain outside has gotten a wire wet or something. All I know is that we don't have electricity. Dan and I have the day off of work and we planned on putting down our hardwood floor. Notice I said "planned." We are doing all we can to prepare the floor (in the light darkness) in the hopes the electricity will come back on.
9:30 am: Still can't explain the mysterious power outage. It doesn't look like the neighbors across the street have power, but the neighbors behind us do.
It is still lightly drizzling. Looks like one of them all-day drizzles.
10:30 am: Wow, this sucks. No sun, no lights, no electricity, no explanation. Maybe I should call Edison.
11:00 am: I call Edison. Miss Technology answers the phone "Thank you for calling Detroit Edison..." and informs me that the new voice-activated system can assist me. She asks me to speak my phone number, one digit at a time. How do you speak more than one number at a time? "My number is fiveeightsixfivefivefivetwooneonetwo." Then Miss Technological Wonder asks me to verify my address and stuff. Then she says that my service is disconnected and would I like it to be reconnected? I didn't say anything. I just froze with my mouth open as the wheels in my head spun. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that answer. Let's try it again. Would you like your service reconnected?" I say yes this time and then she thanks me and puts me through to a representative.
"Good morning, your current bill is $86.62...would you like to pay over the phone?"
"Oh no. I didn't call to pay my bill! Can't you see my service is out, woman?"
"Why yes it is, isn't it? Says here they are working on the problem."
"Oh that makes me feel a lot better. When will it be fixed?"
And this is where it gets frustrating.
"You have reached billing. You will have to call the same number back and when the prompt comes on, just say 'Customer Care' two to three times."
"'Customer Care.' Got it. Thanks toots."
So I call back the number and Miss Techie warmly greets me. After giving her my account number I figure this is it! So I say, "Customer Care...Customer Care." I'm feeling like an idiot.
A pause. "I'm sorry, but before I can assist you I will need to verify your home address."
Yes, it's correct! I confirm and say, "Customer Care...customer care...customer care."
A pause. "Thank you. I'll direct your call." Soon I'm directed to another representative who is asking me to verify my account number. I interrupt her and I say, "I'm was told to call back and say 'Customer care.' Did I reach Customer Care?"
"No, you've reached billing. You will have to call the same number back and when the prompt comes on, just say 'Customer Care' two to three times."
"Yeah I did that and I got you people again."
"Do not press any buttons. As soon as the prompt comes on, say 'Customer Care.'"
"I didn't press any stupid buttons. Okee dokee...I'm a sheep." I hang up.
Miss Techie: "Thank you for calling Detroit Edison..."
And I'm screaming, "CUSTOMER CARE! CUSTOMER CARE! CUSTOMER CARE!"
A pause. "I'm sorry, but before I can assist you I will need your ten-digit account number."
But I'm not falling for it this time so I'm screaming again: "CUSTOMER CARE! CUSTOMER CARE! CUSTOMER CARE!"
A pause. "I'm sorry, but before I can assist you I will need your ten-digit account number."
Fine! I'll play your stupid techno games. I give my ten-digit account number (one digit at a time) and wait to confirm. Once I've confirmed, I'm shouting "CUSTOMER CARE! CUSTOMER CARE!" But I still have to verify my address. I confirm my address for the fortieth time and say "CUSTOMER CARE! CUSTOMER CARE!"
A pause. "One moment and I'll direct your call."
When the representative comes on the phone I ask if this is Customer Care.
"No, you've reached billing."
"Aces."
"Would you like me to forward your call to Customer Care?"
-----
Why put me through all of that if the first two ladies could forward my call? Am I being made an example of? Do they listen to these calls over breaks and laugh at our expense? What technological wonder is this voice-activated crap, anyway if it can't recognize what I want?
12:00 pm. Subway sandwiches for lunch. We eat in the dark.
12:38 pm. Power restored. DH and I resume to our hardwood project.
Friday, 8:30 am: The electricity goes out. Why? Apparently the drizzly rain outside has gotten a wire wet or something. All I know is that we don't have electricity. Dan and I have the day off of work and we planned on putting down our hardwood floor. Notice I said "planned." We are doing all we can to prepare the floor (in the light darkness) in the hopes the electricity will come back on.
9:30 am: Still can't explain the mysterious power outage. It doesn't look like the neighbors across the street have power, but the neighbors behind us do.
It is still lightly drizzling. Looks like one of them all-day drizzles.10:30 am: Wow, this sucks. No sun, no lights, no electricity, no explanation. Maybe I should call Edison.
11:00 am: I call Edison. Miss Technology answers the phone "Thank you for calling Detroit Edison..." and informs me that the new voice-activated system can assist me. She asks me to speak my phone number, one digit at a time. How do you speak more than one number at a time? "My number is fiveeightsixfivefivefivetwooneonetwo." Then Miss Technological Wonder asks me to verify my address and stuff. Then she says that my service is disconnected and would I like it to be reconnected? I didn't say anything. I just froze with my mouth open as the wheels in my head spun. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that answer. Let's try it again. Would you like your service reconnected?" I say yes this time and then she thanks me and puts me through to a representative.
"Good morning, your current bill is $86.62...would you like to pay over the phone?"
"Oh no. I didn't call to pay my bill! Can't you see my service is out, woman?"
"Why yes it is, isn't it? Says here they are working on the problem."
"Oh that makes me feel a lot better. When will it be fixed?"
And this is where it gets frustrating.
"You have reached billing. You will have to call the same number back and when the prompt comes on, just say 'Customer Care' two to three times."
"'Customer Care.' Got it. Thanks toots."
So I call back the number and Miss Techie warmly greets me. After giving her my account number I figure this is it! So I say, "Customer Care...Customer Care." I'm feeling like an idiot.
A pause. "I'm sorry, but before I can assist you I will need to verify your home address."
Yes, it's correct! I confirm and say, "Customer Care...customer care...customer care."
A pause. "Thank you. I'll direct your call." Soon I'm directed to another representative who is asking me to verify my account number. I interrupt her and I say, "I'm was told to call back and say 'Customer care.' Did I reach Customer Care?"
"No, you've reached billing. You will have to call the same number back and when the prompt comes on, just say 'Customer Care' two to three times."
"Yeah I did that and I got you people again."
"Do not press any buttons. As soon as the prompt comes on, say 'Customer Care.'"
"I didn't press any stupid buttons. Okee dokee...I'm a sheep." I hang up.
Miss Techie: "Thank you for calling Detroit Edison..."
And I'm screaming, "CUSTOMER CARE! CUSTOMER CARE! CUSTOMER CARE!"
A pause. "I'm sorry, but before I can assist you I will need your ten-digit account number."
But I'm not falling for it this time so I'm screaming again: "CUSTOMER CARE! CUSTOMER CARE! CUSTOMER CARE!"
A pause. "I'm sorry, but before I can assist you I will need your ten-digit account number."
Fine! I'll play your stupid techno games. I give my ten-digit account number (one digit at a time) and wait to confirm. Once I've confirmed, I'm shouting "CUSTOMER CARE! CUSTOMER CARE!" But I still have to verify my address. I confirm my address for the fortieth time and say "CUSTOMER CARE! CUSTOMER CARE!"
A pause. "One moment and I'll direct your call."
When the representative comes on the phone I ask if this is Customer Care.
"No, you've reached billing."
"Aces."
"Would you like me to forward your call to Customer Care?"
-----
Why put me through all of that if the first two ladies could forward my call? Am I being made an example of? Do they listen to these calls over breaks and laugh at our expense? What technological wonder is this voice-activated crap, anyway if it can't recognize what I want?
12:00 pm. Subway sandwiches for lunch. We eat in the dark.
12:38 pm. Power restored. DH and I resume to our hardwood project.
We have the same life! Good luck with the floor! As for me, I'll be nursing margaritas this evening in the hopes of a better week ahead. 
If your calling, you probably have a question you couldn't find on their web page or an emergency -- DUH!!!! 
