Dealing with friends that well are.... in a word... Cheap

[Judique]

OP here...

<<<snip>>>

They really don't have any family... I can't imagine that they would help out, which if either one of them ever opened their wallet would shock me... She only has her Dad, and one sister that she talks to, the others siblings will not have anything to do with her... and He has a sister that he keeps in touch with...while he has both parents he doesn't have anything to do with them, and his other siblings he basically hates them...

Honestly... Now that I am looking at it from a different perspective, I can see clearly that they were never our friends .... to anyone in the group... they were about using us for whatever they could... I think they don't see it as using someone they see us as a resource or benefit for them to use, so that they don't have to spend any money... and get to do stuff that they would never spend their own money for...

Just finished reading all 19 pages of this. I think you made the right decision to sever the relationship, despite the 30 years of history you shared.

I am curious about a couple of things. You mentioned the scene where your husband witnessed the red solo cup and plate rescue from the trash bags. Then that he was ready to leave immediately from the get together, the KFC 20 piece extravaganza. I can certainly sympathize with him wanting to get away. Did he perhaps tell you 'he' was finished and disgusted by this couple? Did he suggest finishing off the friendship?

Was there hesitancy on your part because you feared the rest of your group would take sides? It appears they did in a sense but mostly because of the mass email. Were others severing the relationship quietly? The group dynamic is sometimes strange in that people feel embarrassed to share their feelings or experiences, for fear of being judged for being judgmental or not compassionate enough. The other side of a group dynamic is when the 'gang up' happens, complete with the need to have the last word.

I think for a while they were your friends. They just couldn't continue to be when the curtain was pulled back and you could see all their idiosyncrasies.

 

[RedAngie]

There isn't a productive mature reason to do that.

Au contraire. If it makes Onion Boy feel better about the situation, then it’s very productive. As for maturity, that is very overrated.