DIS Dads DDC XXXIII: Bad Idea Factory!!!

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

I'd prefer the girls.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

GALAHAD: Oh, hello.
LANCELOT: [getting between GALAHAD and DINGO and pushing him away] Quick!
GALAHAD: What?
LANCELOT: Quick!
GALAHAD: Why?
LANCELOT: You’re in great peril!
GALAHAD: No I’m not.
ZOOT: [grabbing LANCELOT] No he isn’t!
LANCELOT: [raising his sword] Silence, foul temptress!
GALAHAD: [lowering LANCELOT’s sword] Now look, it’s not important.
LANCELOT: [pushing GALAHAD along in front of him as the other knights block the advance of DINGO and her
GALAHAD: Look, I’m fine!
LANCELOT: Come on!
GALAHAD: Now look, I can tackle this lot single-handed!
DINGO: [pulling at LANCELOT’s arm as he pushes GALAHAD toward the door] Yes! Let him tackle us singlehanded!
GIRLS: Yes! Tackle us single-handed!
LANCELOT: [to GIRLS, shuffling along] No. [to GALAHAD] Sir Galahad, come!
GALAHAD: [stopping] No, really, honestly, I can go back and handle this lot easily!
DINGO: [stopping] Oh, yes, let him handle us easily.48
GIRLS: Yes, yes!
LANCELOT: [giving GALAHAD a good shove] No.
GALAHAD: [being rushed out the door] Please, please! I can defeat them! There’s only a hundred and fifty of them!
DINGO: [pitifully, stopping] Yes, yes, he’ll beat us easily! We haven’t a chance...
GIRLS: [in despair] Yes, yes. We haven’t a chance.... [The door slams closed.]
DINGO: [to herself] Oh...****.

[Outside, in the rain, LANCELOT is still rushing GALAHAD off against his will. 50]

LANCELOT: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
GALAHAD: I don’t think I was.
LANCELOT: Yes you were. You were in terrible peril.
GALAHAD: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
LANCELOT: No. It’s too perilous.
GALAHAD: Look, I do feel as a knight I should sample as much peril as I can.
LANCELOT: No, we’ve got to find the Holy Grail. [rushing him around the corner] Come on!
GALAHAD: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
LANCELOT: No. It’s unhealthy.
GALAHAD: Bet you’re gay!
LANCELOT: No I’m not!

 

[AirGoofy]

You forget the best lines. But, I guess those can't be posted here.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

 

[AirGoofy]

Still going

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

You forget the best lines. But, I guess those can't be posted here.

Hummm...
Well lets see:

= = = = = = =


GALAHAD: [pounding on door] Open the door! Open the door! In the name of King Arthur, open the doo—
[The door squeaks open. Galahad throws himself inside. The door closes behind him. Enter ZOOT and
numerous beautiful nubile girls, accompanied by harp music.]
ZOOT and GIRLS: [warmly] Hello.
ZOOT: [holding torch] Welcome gentle sir knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax.
GALAHAD: The Castle Anthrax?
ZOOT: Yes... [sighs] It’s not a very good name, is it? Oh! but we are nice, and we will attend to your every, every
need!
GALAHAD: You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?
ZOOT: The what?
GALAHAD: The Grail. It is here?
ZOOT: Oh, but you are tired, and you must rest awhile. [To GIRLS] Midget! Crapper!
[Enter MIDGET and CRAPPER, two fawning lovelies.]
MIDGET and CRAPPER: Yes, O Zoot?
ZOOT: [To MIDGET and CRAPPER] Prepare a bed for our guest.
MIDGET and CRAPPER: [fawning] Oh thank you, thank you, thank
you.
ZOOT: Away! away varletesses! [To GALAHAD, offering her hand
and helping him to rise] The beds here are warm and soft...and very,
very big.
GALAHAD: Well, look, I-I-uh—
ZOOT: What is your name, handsome knight?
GALAHAD: Sir Galahad...the Chaste.
ZOOT: [closing in] Mine is Zoot...just Zoot. [taking him by the
elbow] Oh, but come!
GALAHAD: Look, please! [stopping] In God’s name, show me the Grail!
ZOOT: Oh, you have suffered much! You are delirious!
GALAHAD: L-look, I have seen it! It is here, in the—
ZOOT: Sir Galahad! You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality.
GALAHAD: Well, I-I-uh—
ZOOT: [taking him along again] Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but
eight score young blondes and brunettes—all between sixteen and nineteen and a half—cut off in this castle with no
one to protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life: bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear.... [puts away torch
and enters chamber] We are just not used to handsome knights. [GALAHAD tries to leave, but she pulls him in,
seating him on the big bed] Nay, nay, come, come, you may lie here. [touching his upper, inside thigh46] Oh, but you
are wounded!
GALAHAD: [brushing her hand away] No, no. I-it’s nothing!
ZOOT: Oh, but you must see the doctors immediately! [GALAHAD tries to rise, but she stops him] No, no, please,
lie down. [He lies down]
[ZOOT claps twice. Enter PIGLET and WINSTON, two other magically-delicious young ladies.]
PIGLET: [looking GALAHAD over] Well. What seems to be the trouble?
GALAHAD: [To ZOOT] They’re doctors?!
ZOOT: [To GALAHAD] Uh, they’ve had a basic medical training, yes.
GALAHAD: [trying to rise] B-but—
ZOOT: [stopping him] Oh, come come, you must try to rest! [to PIGLET and WINSTON] Doctor Piglet, Doctor
Winston, practice your art.
[Exit ZOOT]
PIGLET: [kneeling on the bed and undoing GALAHAD’s belt] Try to relax.
GALAHAD: Are you sure that’s absolutely necessary?
PIGLET: We must examine you.
[WINSTON gingerly raises his surcoat to have a look at his thigh wound.]
GALAHAD: [smacking it back down] There’s nothing wrong with that!
PIGLET: [removing his hand and raising his surcoat] Please. We are doctors.
GALAHAD: [Sitting up and gathering his sword and shield] Ulk! Get off the bed! I am sworn to chastity!
PIGLET: [doctorly] Back to your bed!
GALAHAD: [sitting on the edge of the bed and looking away] Torment me no longer! I have seen the Grail!
PIGLET: There’s no Grail here.
GALAHAD: [rising to leave] I have seen it. I have seen it. [exits though curtain] I have seen—
[GALAHAD has stumbled into the GIRLS of Castle Anthrax’s boudoir, where numerous young ladies stand
around in diaphanous slips with lutes and harps and brushes and orangutans and breakfast cereals and—wait, wait,
that’s later]
GIRLS: Ohhh...
GALAHAD: [clutching his sword and shield close] Oh—
GIRLS: [variously] Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
[GALAHAD tiptoes around, looking for an exit, thinks he finds it one, and runs headlong {so to speak} into...]
GALAHAD: Zoot!
DINGO: No, I am Zoot’s identical twin sister, Dingo.
GALAHAD: [trying to get past her to the door] Oh, well, excuse me, I—
DINGO: [blocking the door with her soft, lightly-clad body] Where are you going?
GALAHAD: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!
DINGO: [To herself] No! Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot!
GALAHAD: What is it?
DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! [to GALAHAD] She has been setting a light to our beacon, which, I just
remembered, is grail-shaped. It’s not the first time we’ve had this problem.
GALAHAD: It’s not the real Grail?!
DINGO: [To herself] Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! [To GALAHAD, dragging him along back into the
boudoir] Oh, she is a naughty person, and she must pay the penalty. [stopping] And here in Castle Anthrax, we have
but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon: you must tie her down on a bed and spank her!
GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking!
DINGO: You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And
then...spank me.
GIRLS: [variously] And spank me. And me. And me.
DINGO: Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!
GIRLS: [prancing around] A spanking! A spanking!
DINGO: And after the spanking...the oral $ex.
GIRLS: [more prancing about] Oral $ex! Oh, thank you! Oral $ex!
GALAHAD: Well, I—uh...

 

[RodBelding]

300?

 

[AirGoofy]

Yes, those lines.

 

[RodBelding]

Still going

and going

 

[AirGoofy]

300

Another good movie. Not as good as The Holy Grail.

 

[RodBelding]

Another good movie. Not as good as The Holy Grail.

Agreed

 

[RodBelding]

This ends now.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

 

[AirGoofy]

 

[AirGoofy]

Last word

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

 

[AirGoofy]

Just getting question marks

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]