DDA Chapter 19

[mommykds]

This is not about you, it's about her. The feelings she has about this move are too big for her to manage. She can't be respectful and still express to you how much turmoil she is in. She does respect you, but she doesn't care if she gets in trouble with you right now. The move is consuming her, every thought she has is about the things she is losing. She has no frame of reference to help her deal with it, and she feels like she is drowning and she feels like you and Dana do NOT get it.

Maybe have her talk with the youth minister at your church, or a guidance counselor at school, or ask your pediatrician for a referral to a psychologist to help her sort through her fear and anxiety. Getting pulled into the drama will just escalate into the two of you against her, and she will be even more resentful. She doesn't have to like the idea, but she has to cope with it, and she might need a little assistance from a thrid party to find her coping skills.

Well said. I am looking into getting either her guidance counselor or our youth rep at church involved. Thanks, Elizabeth.

 

[tinknme]

Good morning,

I have tried to keep up with the posts this weekend. I had about the worst ever weekend with Katie. She is so mad about the move & I just can't deal with it anymore. She's only 13 & she has me so frazzled I can't imagine what it's going to be like when she is 16 or 17, has a boyfriend, or access to a car!!! She's so angry that she came out with some real zingers.

So I apologize for not doing individual responses & I am sending to everyone.

Anne Marie I am sorry to hear that Katie is being such a pill about the move. I am sending lots of dole whips your way to help calm your nerves

 

[tink2020]

Just an FYI, the first day of my TR is finally up! I'm working on getting the picture link how I want it, because I'm obviously not posting every picture here.

Anne Marie, I think Elizabeth's analysis is spot on. I mean, obviously we can't know for sure how she's feeling, but I know I acted in a lot of the same ways with other issues when I was around the same age. Good luck, I'm sure it's very hard for all of you

 

[my3princes]

I'm so sorry she's being a teen ogre! I was going to type teenager, but figured this was more accurate. I wish I knew what my Katie's problem is. She's been acting out for quite a while.

I'm going with the obvious here. You have a new baby, which means that Katie has been dealing with this for a year now. I suspect she is jealous, whether she realizes it or not. You and Alan should both try to give her extra one on one time and see if that improves her attitude. I know that my 3 volley for attention all the time. Hunter often perceives things as unfair to him even if it has nothing to do with him. He is very vocal. We do try to spend extra time with each of them, but that is easier said than done. Good luck

 

[tmfranlk]

Good afternoon, DDA!

Anne Marie - I'm so sorry you guys are having such a tough time. I know it's got to be hard.

Terry - I hope your rib is feeling better today!

 

[tmfranlk]

Well, it looks like we get to have a Tues departure to Oklahoma after all! I don't have the baby Tues or Wed so I think we're going to just leave in the morning instead. It may change Chris' plans, but I'm not sure yet. I've got to talk to Kristi still to finalize it, but at the park today it sounded like she was good with us leaving tomorrow (it's her vehicle and son involved too). That will be really nice since two cousins are leaving town Thurs and Fri so we would miss seeing them. Plus, everyone there is on spring break too so there's plenty of time to play.

So, I guess I had better get moving on the rest of the laundry, packing, making sure dad has food, etc. I'll try to catch back up again tonight.

 

[tinker1bell]

Good morning,

I have tried to keep up with the posts this weekend. I had about the worst ever weekend with Katie. She is so mad about the move & I just can't deal with it anymore. She's only 13 & she has me so frazzled I can't imagine what it's going to be like when she is 16 or 17, has a boyfriend, or access to a car!!! She's so angry that she came out with some real zingers.

So I apologize for not doing individual responses & I am sending to everyone.

Ann Marie,

For Katie, it is the end of the world. I know from experience. I hated moving and at that age, she is thinking the worst. She will have no friends, she will not fit in, it will take forever to have someone she can be good friends with and so on. She also feels like the friends she has now will never write and she will probably never see them again. Whether this is the first move ever in her life or many, that feeling never goes away.

I remember being so very hateful each time we moved when I was in my teens. Right before my senior year, there was talk of us being transferred yet again and I was already to run away. I just did not want to start a new year for my final year in high school. Plus by then Hal was in San Diego in the Navy and I did not want to be away from him. Thankfully at the last minute things changed and we stayed there one more year.

It will get better, but it will take a while. Her only way to sound out is by being hateful to everyone.

 

[mommykds]

Anne Marie I am sorry to hear that Katie is being such a pill about the move. I am sending lots of dole whips your way to help calm your nerves

I'd love one right now, thanks Janet.

Just an FYI, the first day of my TR is finally up! I'm working on getting the picture link how I want it, because I'm obviously not posting every picture here.

Anne Marie, I think Elizabeth's analysis is spot on. I mean, obviously we can't know for sure how she's feeling, but I know I acted in a lot of the same ways with other issues when I was around the same age. Good luck, I'm sure it's very hard for all of you

Thanks..by the way, love the new siggie pictures.

Ann Marie,

For Katie, it is the end of the world. I know from experience. I hated moving and at that age, she is thinking the worst. She will have no friends, she will not fit in, it will take forever to have someone she can be good friends with and so on. She also feels like the friends she has now will never write and she will probably never see them again. Whether this is the first move ever in her life or many, that feeling never goes away.

I remember being so very hateful each time we moved when I was in my teens. Right before my senior year, there was talk of us being transferred yet again and I was already to run away. I just did not want to start a new year for my final year in high school. Plus by then Hal was in San Diego in the Navy and I did not want to be away from him. Thankfully at the last minute things changed and we stayed there one more year.

It will get better, but it will take a while. Her only way to sound out is by being hateful to everyone.

It means alot to me that you are all sharing your experiences & offering me so much perspective. Thanks for your comments Terry.

 

[Glynis]

I'm going with the obvious here. You have a new baby, which means that Katie has been dealing with this for a year now. I suspect she is jealous, whether she realizes it or not. You and Alan should both try to give her extra one on one time and see if that improves her attitude. I know that my 3 volley for attention all the time. Hunter often perceives things as unfair to him even if it has nothing to do with him. He is very vocal. We do try to spend extra time with each of them, but that is easier said than done. Good luck

I think you are right on the money with this one. Alan and I were just talking about that last night. He went with her to a daddy/daughter picnic at our church on Saturday and told me she was just like the Katie we know and love. So, we're going to try to do a lot more one on one time with all the kids. Somehow we'll find the time.

I also think that she is hitting puberty in earnest now. She just doesn't seem to be able to handle her emotions very well.

 

[Pooh67_68]

Guess I'm the oddball, as I enjoyed all the moving we did when I was young. Of course I didn't have any real close friends and never tried to make news ones at the new schools either. What can I say, I was/still am a loner.

 

[Pooh67_68]

As for Tammi's troubles, again I am the oddball.

John is not the touchy/feely type and I am, he won't show affection of any kind in public and I could care less who sees. Even at home we don't hold hands or cuddle and very rarely do we watch tv together, but we do kiss in passing and say I love you a lot. When working he doesn't call just to talk because he is always busy. I am ok with all of this though, because he shows affection in plenty of other ways.

A lot has to do with the way we were raised, in my family you hug and kiss when you say hello and again when you say goodbye. With John's family you are lucky to get a hi.

 

[bear74]

morning......i go to disney this week!!!!!

whoo hoo

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Hey guys--does anyone happen to have a AAA brochure for ticket prices with them? I am trying to look online and cant find the prices...just trying to find the price difference for a 2 and 3 day hopper...Thanks!

 

[Glynis]

Wow! Where is everyone??? I take off for a couple of hours to make some Shamrock cookies, and everyone leaves??? Are you all out hunting for leprechauns?

 

[my3princes]

I guess the emotional drama of the tweens isn't just hitting the girls. Nick had a huge meltdown tonight. He freaks out whenever I show him any attention and claims that he just wants to "be alone". Chris assures me that it's just hormonal. He did appologize to me a few hours later, but had me to the point of tears in the process.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

I just got home--I went out and bought cookies since I didnt have time to make them this time. So now im home and relaxing!

 

[tinker1bell]

As for Tammi's troubles, again I am the oddball.

John is not the touchy/feely type and I am, he won't show affection of any kind in public and I could care less who sees. Even at home we don't hold hands or cuddle and very rarely do we watch tv together, but we do kiss in passing and say I love you a lot. When working he doesn't call just to talk because he is always busy. I am ok with all of this though, because he shows affection in plenty of other ways.

A lot has to do with the way we were raised, in my family you hug and kiss when you say hello and again when you say goodbye. With John's family you are lucky to get a hi.

Heidi,

I agree with you 100% when it comes to family. I did not know there was such kissing and hugging until I met Hal's family. i love it and the kids kept it up. It means so much.

 

[my3princes]

First thing this morning I had a pack of gum go through the wash. Some baby oil and scraping with fingernails got the gum out. Last load of the day had some sort of chocolate in it which is now on every item that was in the washer and it went through the dryer I'm hoping that just rewashing will get it out as it is on my guard suit and shorts as well as many other items

 

[ReAnSt]

The FBI had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.

Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .. . . Kill her!!'

The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.'

The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.'

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.'

MORAL:
Women are crazy. Don't mess with them.

 

[bear74]

im here now just catching up