DDA Chapter 15

[tink2020]

That may be the best "advice" anyone has given, Jennifer!

Ugh... I just recall some of the blowouts my mom and I had. They were so frequent! I didn't get into hardly any "trouble" growing up, as in doing things wrong outside the home, but I made up for it in fighting with her.

With a lot of things I remember, as we all eventually learn, she was right and being a good mother - I was just a brat. On the other hand, some of her choices I still do not agree with and will not be doing the same thing with my girls, although admittedly those instances are much fewer! That's all ok, but unfortunately I think it's just impossible for mother OR daughter to realize those things until much later.

I liken it, I guess, to having a newborn in a sense. I was just thinking today, because Avery is having a heck of a time sleeping since she can't breathe, that I simply cannot imagine how I functioned when I got 1 hour of sleep at a time, around the clock, between pumping and feeding 2 girls on a strict schedule. And yet here I am, hardly even able to remember those days. I hope my mom has been able to forget just as easily the times we said some horrific things to one another! It appears she has, becuase we can now even talk about those situations in which we disagree as two adults... and our relationship is stronger than either of us could have imagined.

 

[tink2020]

Well then there is some hope for us, I guess....

There absolutely is! I hope it's a shorter-lived bout of drama than it could be, but either way -- you will get through it, and she will realize (someday ) what you are doing for her.

 

[Tammi67]

Well this was a fun morning. Katie & i got into it again about wearing her coat to school. She was so defiant. She said that she was old enough to make her own decisions. Yeah when you pay your own health insurance you are!!!! Well it all ended in both of us in tears & lots of screaming...fun fun... I just give up...I grounded her & she could care less. I said no more texting for fun on her phone too (just use for calling me as it was intended in the first place) she said fine.....I am going to loose it...at least I get to runaway for a few days next week.

Can you get to the bottom of why she doesn't want to wear a coat? I don't know if there are other issues that you two are butting heads with, but you've only mentioned the coat drama, on more than one occasion. I would want my child to wear a coat in this weather as well, but maybe if you "let her make her own decision" on this one thing she might feel as though you are respecting her wishes. She is growing up, Anne Marie, and she will be wanting to spread her wings, to make decisions (even though you and I both know they are the WRONG decisions. In the 'pick your battles' scenario, ask yourself is this really a battle to fight for, or maybe give in (for lack of a better word) and dig your heals in on something more serious to come. Unfortunately there WILL BE more difficult battles coming your way. I'm not saying you are right or wrong, I just wanted to give you something to think about.

And on the flip side, maybe Dana will have her all straightened out by the time you get home.

 

[babytrees]

Bernadette - the sewing that took place at your home this weekend is just amazing! WTG, Joe!

WTG Joe!! (and Bernadette)

 

[Tammi67]

I am seriously contemplating not going to Michigan. I still feel pretty horrible, it hurts to swallow and I can barely breathe I am so congested. And this is 2 days on cold meds. Lucy is coughing and Mo is fighting the same crap I am. I am so afraid of being run ragged when we are up there that when we got back we'd be a thousand times worse off.

I so don't want to disappoint everyone but know that they'd understand. I was looking so forward to getting to spend the time with everyone up there.

What to do, what to do?

Good luck with your decision. When were you planning on leaving?

 

[Tammi67]

Thanks Marci,

I would take her phone away but she does need it to reach me after school. Sophie came up to me before & hugged me. She said "I promise I will be good when I am 12"... Oh I hope so cause I can't do this 3 times.

Bless her little heart. Did you get that in writing?

 

[bear74]

Anne Marie

 

[babytrees]

Oh yeah. I could go on & on about the exchange we had but I am just exhausted by it all. I can't imagine what I am going to when a boy is involved or things like getting into other peoples cars..all this "good" stuff is ahead of us....

I've got great girls but I have gotten into crying, yelling matches with Cassidy. It hurts like the dickens but on the big "stuff" I know she's got the head on her shoulders (except school ).

Come here to vent, cry, be mad...that's what we're here for!

 

[bear74]

Tammi so I don't forget have a great trip.

Nicholas Happy Birthday.

 

[babytrees]

I am seriously contemplating not going to Michigan. I still feel pretty horrible, it hurts to swallow and I can barely breathe I am so congested. And this is 2 days on cold meds. Lucy is coughing and Mo is fighting the same crap I am. I am so afraid of being run ragged when we are up there that when we got back we'd be a thousand times worse off.

I so don't want to disappoint everyone but know that they'd understand. I was looking so forward to getting to spend the time with everyone up there.

What to do, what to do?

stay home and get better!!

 

[KristineN]

I have to agree with Tammi on this one....

I just don't think this subject is worth the pain & drama for you two...this is more about a power struggle than a coat

and I speak from experience on this particular subject.....and now at 20 years old the kid still doesn't wear a coat.....he wears a hoodie!!

so trust me....save it for something more meaningful

Can you get to the bottom of why she doesn't want to wear a coat? I don't know if there are other issues that you two are butting heads with, but you've only mentioned the coat drama, on more than one occasion. I would want my child to wear a coat in this weather as well, but maybe if you "let her make her own decision" on this one thing she might feel as though you are respecting her wishes. She is growing up, Anne Marie, and she will be wanting to spread her wings, to make decisions (even though you and I both know they are the WRONG decisions. In the 'pick your battles' scenario, ask yourself is this really a battle to fight for, or maybe give in (for lack of a better word) and dig your heals in on something more serious to come. Unfortunately there WILL BE more difficult battles coming your way. I'm not saying you are right or wrong, I just wanted to give you something to think about.

And on the flip side, maybe Dana will have her all straightened out by the time you get home.

 

[Pooh67_68]

Ann Marie

 

[Pooh67_68]

Robyn you all need to stay home, and get better.

 

[my3princes]

I am seriously contemplating not going to Michigan. I still feel pretty horrible, it hurts to swallow and I can barely breathe I am so congested. And this is 2 days on cold meds. Lucy is coughing and Mo is fighting the same crap I am. I am so afraid of being run ragged when we are up there that when we got back we'd be a thousand times worse off.

I so don't want to disappoint everyone but know that they'd understand. I was looking so forward to getting to spend the time with everyone up there.

What to do, what to do?

I would wait as long as you can to make the final decision, however I would fill everyone in on how horrible your family is feeling. They may actually suggest that you stay home.


Anne Marie. I see both sides of the coat issue. The fact of the matter is that she could do what most kids do, put the coat on to appease you then stash it somewhere and not wear it once you're out of sight. I've seen kids completely change outfits just to keep peace with the parents. Does she not like her coat? Could you compromise on more layers? There are days when the boys just wear a fleece or hoodies as they don't want there heavy coats. I figure that it isn't me that will be cold and eventually they will learn there lesson. Our school does require coats (not necessarily winter), snowpants and boots for the K - 5 kids, but no requirement for the older kids. It's a tough line to walk. Thankfully she won't need a coat as often or probably as heavy once you move south

By the way I remember going skiing in the middle of winter in jeans and a sweatshirt because that was the cool thing to do. We even did a couple of days in shorts (it seems stupid now, but it was cool then). If I wore a sweatshirt I can guarantee that I had many layers below it.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

That is a difficult decision, Robyn. I totally understand what you mean, though. Hopefully the right answer will smack you between the eyes in the next day or so.

Robyn, I would wait and see how you feel tomorrow afternoon before you decide for sure. Is Joe still coming up?

OK, another take on this trip... If you were coming to visit me and you were sick and your kids were sick I really would rather that you stayed home!

(How is that for a good reason to stay home??)

Then there's that. You don't want to make everyone else sick.

Can you get to the bottom of why she doesn't want to wear a coat? I don't know if there are other issues that you two are butting heads with, but you've only mentioned the coat drama, on more than one occasion. I would want my child to wear a coat in this weather as well, but maybe if you "let her make her own decision" on this one thing she might feel as though you are respecting her wishes. She is growing up, Anne Marie, and she will be wanting to spread her wings, to make decisions (even though you and I both know they are the WRONG decisions. In the 'pick your battles' scenario, ask yourself is this really a battle to fight for, or maybe give in (for lack of a better word) and dig your heals in on something more serious to come. Unfortunately there WILL BE more difficult battles coming your way. I'm not saying you are right or wrong, I just wanted to give you something to think about.

And on the flip side, maybe Dana will have her all straightened out by the time you get home.

I was thinking about that, too. When you are both calm can you ask her why she doesn't want to wear a coat? When DS was refusing to wear his REALLY expensive shoes it finally came out that the other kids made fun of him. He really liked the shoes, but the thugs were teasing him so he refused to wear them after that. If there is a GOOD reason for her to refuse to wear a coat maybe you can work on a compromise.

 

[lovesdumbo]

After many, many hours of sorting through emails, I have 0 entries in my inbox and my sent items. Woohoo! More importantly, I have a good system setup that should help keep me organized to find what I need when I need it. Tomorrow night, I'll sort through my stack of paperwork. Then I'll be done with the organization that is needed for work. I love the book "Getting Things Done". I also downloaded the info on how to implement the philosophy in Microsoft Outlook (which we just converted to at work). They were a big help.

I'm off to bed now. I need to get some sleep.

Good for you. This is something I definately have trouble with-at home and work.

Bernadette - what a cute new creation. Tell Joe I think he did an excellent job with his sewing and choice of fabric. I love the wolves.

Thanks!

LESS THAN A WEEK!!!
​

Can you tell I'm a little excited?​

How exciting!!!

Bernadette cute top and Joe did good on the pillow cases.

Thanks!

Also, if anyone wants to follow my progress on my blog, I would appreciate it. Leave comments if you want to.
This is also a contest among the fifty. They will be giving away 3 $100 gift certificates. So if we spend $50, we will double our money back!
Not a huge amount, but I still feel pretty special to be one of the fifty picked!

Great job on the "Eye Spy" jacket! I might have to try one of those one day! The pillowcases are wonderful too!

Thanks! I'll have to check out your blog some more. I LOVE your fabric stash-just beautiful! And you've given me an idea for Joe. I can make him a quilt and put the "Eye Spy ....." on the border with my machine-not embroidery machine but does have 4 alphabets.

I cant believe i leave on wednesday!
After football yesterday, the commercials started for the thanksgiving games...everytime i was like I WILL BE THERE!!
Now, i just have to get through today and tomorrwo!

How exciting!

Bernadette love the jacket & tell Joe he did a wonderful job on the pillowcases

Thanks!

Bernadette - the sewing that took place at your home this weekend is just amazing! WTG, Joe!

Thanks!

Well this was a fun morning. Katie & i got into it again about wearing her coat to school. She was so defiant. She said that she was old enough to make her own decisions. Yeah when you pay your own health insurance you are!!!! Well it all ended in both of us in tears & lots of screaming...fun fun... I just give up...I grounded her & she could care less. I said no more texting for fun on her phone too (just use for calling me as it was intended in the first place) she said fine.....I am going to loose it...at least I get to runaway for a few days next week.

Bernadette, you (and Joe!) are amazing! What cool pieces!

Thanks!

Bernadette,
Nice creations!

Thanks!

Bernadette- Love the things you've made!!

Thanks!

I am seriously contemplating not going to Michigan. I still feel pretty horrible, it hurts to swallow and I can barely breathe I am so congested. And this is 2 days on cold meds. Lucy is coughing and Mo is fighting the same crap I am. I am so afraid of being run ragged when we are up there that when we got back we'd be a thousand times worse off.

I so don't want to disappoint everyone but know that they'd understand. I was looking so forward to getting to spend the time with everyone up there.

What to do, what to do?

Hope you all feel better. I'm sure they would understand (and like Elin said) prefer not to see you if you are all sick.

It sounds like Avery is fighting the same thing I hope you all feel better quickly! Good luck on your decision, I know those are always hard for me.

Hope she's feeling better and keeps it to herself!

WTG Joe!! (and Bernadette)

Thanks!

 

[Tammi67]

Tammi so I don't forget have a great trip.

Nicholas Happy Birthday.

Thanks, Jennifer!

 

[Tammi67]

I called the cake lady again from the Grand Floridian and changed my order. I'm probably making her crazy. I've finally settled on a vanilla cake with passion fruit mousse and whipped cream frosting. I'm also have a Mickey screen print with Mickey confetti. I hope it's yummy!

 

[mommykds]

You are all right..I will not harp on her to wear a coat anymore..doesn't do any good anyway. Yes this is not a battle that I should be choosing anyway. If she feels more in control but not wearing one then so be it. I should be grateful that she makes great grades & doesn't hang out with any bad kids. Thanks for the perspective.

 

[mommykds]

I called the cake lady again from the Grand Floridian and changed my order. I'm probably making her crazy. I've finally settled on a vanilla cake with passion fruit mousse and whipped cream frosting. I'm also have a Mickey screen print with Mickey confetti. I hope it's yummy!

Sounds so cute!