DD wants to "relax" every Saturday, all day

[clh2]

My DD, almost 12, wants to just "chill" out on Saturday's. This after she has slept until late morning.

I'm just curious, does any family have guidelines, or rules in their household about what is acceptable, what's not etc.

I'm not unapposed to having an occasional day of chilling out, but it can't be every Saturday. I'm not liking the pattern she's in. It screws up mealtimes. Breakfast at 11,means lunch is being requested at 3 etc.

So - what is allowed in your house?

I just want to come up with guidelines for her. I don't want her to sit in front of the TV all day. Today, for example, she needs to complete 1 hour of chores (or I don't drive her to an event she likes to do on next Thursday). She also wants me to take a friend and her skating or skiing, which I won't do until she has done her homework for the weekend, as well as practicing her flute and trumpet.

Thanks for letting me vent, and thanks for any insight you can offer!

 

[MagicKingdom05]

When I was that ago, I could sleep in until 10 or so and then had to get up. Usually my parents were going shopping or something like that and I went with them.

Now when I visit them in Wisconsin, unless it's noon or something like that, they let me sleep, because usually they have something planned for us to do, either a movie or shopping.

 

[jenks0718]

My kids like to "relax" on Sundays usually. As long as we have nothing planned and chores are done I have no problems with it at all. They sometimes even stay in PJ's all day and we play board games or watch movies. It works for us.

 

[Shutterbug]

yawwwwnnnnn ...rubs sleep out of eyes.....so what time is it? 4:00? Good I have time to get a nap in before going to bed.

 

[Disney_1derland]

Growing up, the rule was that Saturdays was family house cleaning time. That meant you got up and got moving. AFTER the cleaning was done then I could do whatever I wanted.

In my young family now, Saturday is family day. We get up, we clean, we do an activity of some kind. I'm sure that will change as they get older but I like it the way it is now!

 

[Keli]

We were always allowed to sleep late, 10:00am or later and then around 11:30 or so we had to start our weekend chores. We girls usually had an hour of housecleaning to do. After that we could do what we wanted the rest of the day.

 

[Imzadi]

One school year, when I was about that age, I suddenly felt really burnt out at that age. I could barely make it through the school year. I couldn't wait for weekends & for summer vacation to arrive so I could sleep & be away from that schedule. I slept so much over summer vacation, my body finally caught up.

Now, I'm thinking, it may have been hormonal, puberty, school & peer pressure stress, or something in my diet was throwing my body off.

If this change is rather sudden. maybe her body is telling her something & should ber checked out.

But as for her eating late, as long as you're not cooking, just allowing her to make her own breakfast & lunch, let her have a modified schedule. Things that absolutely interfere with the rest of the family or chores, put your foot down. Weekends are not "vacation time" from life or the rest of the family.

 

[Blondy876]

Well, lets see. My stepmom use to get my little sister and I up every Saturday at 8 to do chores (I was 13 and my little sis was 9). We had to clean all day. She would let her dd sleep until she felt like getting up (usually around noon). It use to drive me crazy. 15 years later it still does.

 

[PoohBearLovinMama]

We could usually sleep in until 10 or so. Then we had to get up and complete our weekend chores and homework. After that we were free to do anything we wanted for the rest of the weekend until Sunday night dinner time. Sunday dinners were always family time and then we'd watch TV or play games as a family.

Since my little ones are only 3 and 4 months, it's usually me that wants to sleep in and chill all day.

 

[CEDmom]

I think once she has everything done that she has to do and there aren't any family plans allowing her chill is ok. At 12 she should be able to get her own breakfast and lunch as well as clean up after. I agree with limiting TV and computer time.

 

[EthansMom]

I agree with CEDMom.

If she were my DD, I would be in her room at 10 a.m. to roust her out of bed. After her chores were done, she could do whatever. I would put limits on the t.v. viewing and fun computer time.

I would not be taking custom orders for breakfast and/or lunch at that age. If you're hungry when I'm making my own meal, you can come help out and we'll make lunch together. If you want something at an off-time, you can make it yourself and you'd darn well better clean up after yourself to boot.

 

[grlpwrd]

Well, lets see. My stepmom use to get my little sister and I up every Saturday at 8 to do chores (I was 13 and my little sis was 9). We had to clean all day. She would let her dd sleep until she felt like getting up (usually around noon). It use to drive me crazy. 15 years later it still does.

I grew up like a Cinderella, too. My 2 brothers could goof off and get to sleep in late while my twin sister and I had to clean.

Now our family way is to sleep in until 10am or so on weekends, have a big breakfast, and then clean up and then rest or watch movies or play games. If the older kids haven't done their chores for the week then they will be awakened earlier, though.

 

[Sparx]

I get up around 8ish on saturdays. we go out to eat breakfast and then we usually go to walmart or something. I sometimes have pictures that need developing or we need to buy something. then we come home. Today I went back to sleep for several hours. Now I'm eating a frosty my mom brought home from Wendy's. I'll go cook myself something soon.

If she eats at 11 and then again at 3, let her. but don't cook it for her.

 

[LisaNJ25]

well put in this way..I just got home from work at 5:30 and hubby and all 4 kids are still in their PJ's

 

[tw1nsmom]

I think we (adults) forget how stressful school can be for kids. I know, I know, just wait until they're adults. But, as an adult I have alot more control over my life than I did at that age. I also have a lot more experience to deal with the stress than I did when I was twelve.

Decide exactly what it is that you want her to accomplish on the weekend (i.e., chores), give her guidelines as to when you expect certain things to be done, and let her relax the rest of the time. Oh, and as others have said, let her fix her own meals.

 

[disykat]

Because he has to catch a bus at 6:30 AM every day, I let my 13 year old sleep in on Saturdays - but he has to do his own meals and clean up after himself if he misses meal times. He also knows if we are going somewhere he has to get up. The sleeping in IS his chill out time, and he is expected to participate in whatever we are doing the rest of the day. (We do a lot of chilling out on Saturdays too!)

On Sunday he gets to sleep in later than schools days, but is required to be up and ready for 9:30 Sunday School and church.

During the summer, I make him get out of bed by 9:30 every day - earlier if we've got plans.

 

[Hannathy]

IMO relax if she is a good student gets her work done during the week let her sleep. It is a proven fact that kids kinda reverse themselves and need more sleep again (like babies) in their teen years. IF she wants food I imagine she knows where the cereal and milk is. Keep her to her oblilgation of an hour of chores before going somewhere and some days she will find out there isn't enough time left to go somewhere and ask you to wake her earlier. My DD just turned 14 and slept till 11:45 today would have liked to sleep more but had dance at 1. My mom always left us sleep in to unless we had to go somewhere.

 

[Pugdog007]

My parents used to drive us out of bed early on the weekends and I hated it. Now I sleep all weekend if I feel like it and sometimes I do... probably to make up for lost time.

 

[skiwee1]

We have no rules about wanting to relax around here. I really can't imagine telling the kids not to relax. They get up early all week to go to work and school. As long as their chores are done sometime over the weekend then I wouldn't care if they laid in bed all day.

 

[Pin Wizard]

In this house, "sleeping in" is 8:00 at the latest. We're up and out every weekend. No sleeping until 10 ever.

When I was a kid, Saturdays were for chores. When I was younger than that, it was 1/2 hour of TV, and then we were chased outside FOR THE DAY!