DD wants a purity ring

[luvsJack]

I'm not going to get into it here.

Oh, sorry. Is there a link or something?

I'm not trying to argue with you about it, just curious.

 

[Momvic5]

Yep, in many cases, it is very much 'public'.

(If it is not, then a persons personal choice in jewelry is their business, and nothing worth wasting our time discussing....)

We are definitely talking about a 'Purity Ring' here...
Something that is being openly and publicly promoted in churches and religious communities.

I have a problem with adults encouraging children of 11 years of age to make any public statement, regarding sexuality, thru jewelry or any other means.

Seriously... Cult religions, and 'The Scarlet Letter' come to mind.

Just so wrong on every level.

What does this 'Purity Ring' look like? I want to know this statement when I see it in public. Seriously, I didn't know there was a "Purity Ring" for public statement. I have not seen these 'Purity Rings' at all. My understanding was that a purity ring was a physical reminder for the individual - not a public statement. I could be wrong as I have no true experience with them.

 

[luvsJack]

What does this 'Purity Ring' look like? I want to know this statement when I see it in public. Seriously, I didn't know there was a "Purity Ring" for public statement. I have not seen these 'Purity Rings' at all. My understanding was that a purity ring was a physical reminder for the individual - not a public statement. I could be wrong as I have no true experience with them.

http://http://www.christianjewelry.com/sterling-silver-unblossomed-rose-ring

This is the one dd likes.

 

[luvmy3]

Yes, but anyone can wear that ring. You don't have to make a personal commitment towards the campaign to purchase it and wear it. James Avery is smart and knows there is a market for "statement" jewelry.

My teens do not wear purity rings. Like I stated in an earlier post, I don't even know a teen who wears one, but I know many teens who wear rings.....I am clueless about the meanings and intentions behind their rings unless they share it with me - that is why I was confused about the public statement of purity rings.

It doesn't matter what your personal statement is, that ring is for some international campaign to support abstinence. And yes you don't have to make a personal commitment to the campaign be wearing it, but you are in fact making your beliefs public when you do. You were confused about a public statement, I gave you a clear example of one.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

What does this 'Purity Ring' look like? I want to know this statement when I see it in public. Seriously, I didn't know there was a "Purity Ring" for public statement. I have not seen these 'Purity Rings' at all. My understanding was that a purity ring was a physical reminder for the individual - not a public statement. I could be wrong as I have no true experience with them.

I didn't know, either. So out of curiosity I looked them up and posted them earlier in the thread, assuming others were curious, also. (Of course, now they're all over my darned computer screen, but that's another story...)

Under Google Images, this is primarily what comes up:

They are typically worn on the "wedding ring" finger (to be replaced with the wedding ring eventually), and they often have "committment" sayings on them. They can also be bracelets or necklaces.

 

[Momvic5]

http://http://www.christianjewelry.com/sterling-silver-unblossomed-rose-ring

This is the one dd likes.

It is very dainty, and exactly what I thought. I am sure your dd will enjoy it.


I am not sure that it is big enough for me to notice in public though - I may not notice it and miss being outraged by such a message.

 

[sandynd]

[Quote:]
Originally Posted by badblackpug
think wearing something that announces your sexual status, in one form or another, is skeevy. Wearing a ring announcing the state of your genitalia is just as gross as wearing the bracelets announcing what acts you will perform.

What? I apparently missed something.[/QUOTE]

I think they're thinking about this:

http://www.snopes.com/risque/school/bracelet.asp

 

[Granny square]

It is very dainty, and exactly what I thought. I am sure your dd will enjoy it.

I am not sure that it is big enough for me to notice in public though - I may not notice it and miss being outraged by such a message.

No kidding. Who would have a clue?

 

[Granny square]

People get tattoos, wear shirts, wear jewelry, all sorts of things that mean something to them or that they want to share with others. All the more power to them.

People who think they shouldn't feel free to express themselves are me. Why be so him up on be choices of others.

 

[Momvic5]

It doesn't matter what your personal statement is, that ring is for some international campaign to support abstinence. And yes you don't have to make a personal commitment to the campaign be wearing it, but you are in fact making your beliefs public when you do. You were confused about a public statement, I gave you a clear example of one.

My point is.....there are so many variations and options on this 'purity ring' that you are going to have a hard time knowing when to be offended by such a public message/statement. I don't think most of us will even know a purity ring when we see one. However, I could be wrong - this is the Dis.

 

[luvmy3]

My point is.....there are so many variations and options on this 'purity ring' that you are going to have a hard time knowing when to be offended by such a public message/statement. I don't think most of us will even know a purity ring when we see one. However, I could be wrong - this is the Dis.

Please, don't put words into my mouth, I'm not offended by anything. Do I have my own opinion about publicly proclaiming anything about your sexuality, yup, sure do. However what you or the children members of your church group do have no personal bearing on my life.

I get your point, but you seem to be missing the fact that there are in fact rings out there for those who choose to publicly proclaim their choice to abstain from sex. You can keep saying "but you don't know what they are wearing it for" but the fact is that its naïve to think a person wearing that specific ring isn't making a statement with it.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

My point is.....there are so many variations and options on this 'purity ring' that you are going to have a hard time knowing when to be offended by such a public message/statement. I don't think most of us will even know a purity ring when we see one. However, I could be wrong - this is the Dis.

I, for one, will be more aware of them now, although I don't know how common they are in my neck of the woods. We shall see.

 

[Momvic5]

Please, don't put words into my mouth, I'm not offended by anything. Do I have my own opinion about publicly proclaiming anything about your sexuality, yup, sure do. However what you or the children members of your church group do have no personal bearing on my life.

I get your point, but you seem to be missing the fact that there are in fact rings out there for those who choose to publicly proclaim their choice to abstain from sex. You can keep saying "but you don't know what they are wearing it for" but the fact is that its naïve to think a person wearing that specific ring isn't making a statement with it.

I am not putting words in your mouth. I am just stating my point. The purity ring one wears is a personal choice. There is not "a" ring. Who cares if a company chooses to market a ring with a specific statement. The ring you posted is one of thousands of choices. The outrage seems to be that the message is public -the general public has to know what to look for in order to receive the message - and I am afraid the general public could care less about most personal pieces of simple jewelry.

 

[dizcrazee]

I have a friend whose husband left her and she thought it was a punishment from God because she had broken her "purity promise" and had sex with him before marriage. I tried to tell her that this was not the case, but she was convinced. It was really sad.

I understand the positive intentions behind these rituals, but I think that they have a potential of causing unnecessary guilt, anxiety, etc. when the kid becomes a young adult.

 

[Granny square]

I have a friend whose husband left her and she thought it was a punishment from God because she had broken her "purity promise" and had sex with him before marriage. I tried to tell her that this was not the case, but she was convinced. It was really sad.

I understand the positive intentions behind these rituals, but I think that they have a potential of causing unnecessary guilt, anxiety, etc. when the kid becomes a young adult.

That is terribly sad. But that isn't a purity ring issue. That is a much broader one.

 

[luvmy3]

I am not putting words in your mouth. I am just stating my point. The purity ring one wears is a personal choice. There is not "a" ring. Who cares if a company chooses to market a ring with a specific statement. The ring you posted is one of thousands of choices. The outrage seems to be that the message is public -the general public has to know what to look for in order to receive the message - and I am afraid the general public could care less about most personal pieces of simple jewelry.

Where is this outrage you see? I see people discussing the concept of a purity ring and what they think of the whole idea. I've seen people creeped out by it, but hardly outraged.

As far as the ring I posted, yes it is one of a thousand choices, but again, you were the one confused about one that made a public statement. That ring is an example of one of those rings, so are a few of the others that pea n me (I think) posted. I am not claiming that every single purity ring out there is making some sort of statement to everyone. I'm just pointing out there are in fact ones that do, a fact that you continue to not acknowledge.

 

[Momvic5]

Where is this outrage you see? I see people discussing the concept of a purity ring and what they think of the whole idea. I've seen people creeped out by it, but hardly outraged.

As far as the ring I posted, yes it is one of a thousand choices, but again, you were the one confused about one that made a public statement. That ring is an example of one of those rings, so are a few of the others that pea n me (I think) posted. I am not claiming that every single purity ring out there is making some sort of statement to everyone. I'm just pointing out there are in fact ones that do, a fact that you continue to not acknowledge.

No, I am acknowledging it. You and Pea-n-Me helped prove my point - not one of the rings posted is the same. And I wasn't really confused.....I just wanted to see "the purity ring" that we "all recognize." I just can't see the drama concerning the ring and the public statement.

 

[EMHDad]

This is the problem with discussing these sorts of issues. If my experience isn't what you've seen, I'm making assumptions about something I know nothing about (actually, I'm just talking about what I've seen IRL, not what I've read online or seen on TV). If a church or pastor is doing something contrary to your experience, they're doing it wrong. When the stats reflect increased risks for kids who take purity vows, it is because the parents are doing something wrong. In other words, you "own" the successes and the good intentions but disavow all of the drawbacks.

I form my opinions based on my own experiences. Around here, girls wear purity rings, not boys, not even when they're from the same family or congregation. Some are just jewelry while some have the message engraved on the outside of the band. Around here, church youth groups do involve recruiting in a low-pressure sense - kids are encouraged to bring friends, a couple of the bigger churches out in the country have a bus that picks kids up in town to go to the group, they serve pizza and host dances and other teen-friendly events that are open to the public and advertised via flyers around the community. And there is very little parental involvement in these youth groups; unless the parents belong to the church hosting the group they most likely wouldn't know the specific content/topic/activity of any given meeting until after the fact.

Your comment seems to state that you believe I wish to have my cake and eat it to. THat I wish to celebrate the good in the sex education program of my church and 'wash my hands' so to speak of all of the negative implications. I do believe that is an unfair assessment. I commented on our steps to include parents in the converstation. Do I disavoy churches that engage in sex education that causes more harm than good and help to reinforce that clear statistics out there? You bet ya! I take neither the credit nor the blame for what many other parents and/or churches choose to do. Nor would I allow anyone to place their blame on me. I have worked very hard to create a program that prepares young adults on the issue of sex education. I own that and that only. Do I involve purity rings? No, I really dont, mainly for the reasons I have already stated. However, as I have stated I have youth who have chosen those rings in conjunction with their family. I honor and support their decision, but the rings have never been a part of my program.

What is a part of my program is fully helping my youth understand the nature and God's desire concerning sex, dating, love, and marriage. We take to proper steps to ensure the emotional well being of the youth and that parents are included.

I know off churches that woefully half-*** sex education and rest on the platitude of 'purity' or 'true love waits'. As I have stated I do not condone that and am not lumped in that.

 

[luvmy3]

No, I am acknowledging it. You and Pea-n-Me helped prove my point - not one of the rings posted is the same. And I wasn't really confused.....I just wanted to see "the purity ring" that we "all recognize." I just can't see the drama concerning the ring and the public statement.

Okay, maybe I missed where a poster said there was one purity ring that we all recognize. I remember this post where you say you haven't seen these rings at all (bolded below). You were shown some of these rings that you continue to claim aren't actually public statements. Okay, if that is truly what you believe, that is fine. I stand by my opinion that that is naïve thinking given the words printed on them and the fact that the James Avery one is actually part of some sort of "campaign to promote abstinence". One doesn't usually campaign to promote something to themselves. You know kind of like Live Strong bracelets, or Red T shirts or my favorite from the 80's Choose Beer.

Originally Posted by Momvic5 View Post
What does this 'Purity Ring' look like? I want to know this statement when I see it in public. Seriously, I didn't know there was a "Purity Ring" for public statement. I have not seen these 'Purity Rings' at all. My understanding was that a purity ring was a physical reminder for the individual - not a public statement. I could be wrong as I have no true experience with them

I see now the "outrage" has been downgraded to "drama".

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Momvic, I am confused. You asked a question, and it was answered.

What does this 'Purity Ring' look like? I want to know this statement when I see it in public. Seriously, I didn't know there was a "Purity Ring" for public statement. I have not seen these 'Purity Rings' at all.

So you are saying now you were just being facetious? Trying to prove a point? Sorry, I thought you really wanted to know.

No, I am acknowledging it. You and Pea-n-Me helped prove my point - not one of the rings posted is the same. And I wasn't really confused.....I just wanted to see "the purity ring" that we "all recognize." I just can't see the drama concerning the ring and the public statement.