DD starts school tomorrow and it has already started.......

[LvsTnk]

at the church picnic a group of girls devised a plan to get everyone to hate her. One of the girls came home and told her since DD 13yo wasn't there. They decided she was too popular and they needed to make sure everyone hated her . She is beside herself as she doesn't consider herself popular and just does sports all the time(that's what she did all summer). I feel sorry for her the first day of school is always scary anyway now she is petrified. How do all of you handle this sort of thing? I don't think I will be able to wait until school is over to see how she handles it.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Tell her to hold her head high and not take part in their stupid games. Tough lesson for kids, but the sooner they learn it, the better.

Your daughter already has one up on them, she obviously has a parent that cares about her enough to communicate - and one friend who was caring enough to tell her about the whole deal.

Popularity isn't all it's cracked up to be. Especially if there is a price tag.

 

[LvsTnk]

Thanks, she's pretty tough. I think it would have been better if it wasn't the first day of school. I am gonna tell her exaclty what you said!

Does summer vacation have to end

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

Originally posted by LvsTnk
. They decided she was too popular and they needed to make sure everyone hated her.

It sounds like they are actually scared of HER.... Teenagers are wonderful, aren't they?

We have boys, but we have told them from the start, kids pick on you to get a reaction. You ignore them, they try to bother someone else.

If I was in your shoes I would tell my daughter to smile at the girls and greet them. Wave maybe. Do what she is comfortable with.... but do something to show them that they are not going to affect her.

 

[RNMOM]

Yep, good avice one and all.

Tell her to plant a big smile on her pretty face and march in there saying hi to everyone and anyone. If someone says they hate her I would suggest she just say;

"I don't hate anyone!" with a big smile and turn around and walk away. Stop them dead in their tracks.

Give her big hugs from us. With all her DIS aunties behind her, she can conquer anything!

 

[LvsTnk]

Thank You!! I have an older son and I am not used to this teenage girl stuff it's pretty mean. I hope she can just smile and take it .

These are the times you wish you could do it for them

 

[rbuzzotta]

I'll be thinking of her! My DD is a little situation herself. She was placed in a class with none of her friends. Her "best" friend keeps calling and rubbing it in her face. I told my DD to hold her head high, concentrate on her good grades and AllStar cheerleading. People that like her for who she is will not keep her at a distance because she does not have the "popular" teacher.

Doesn't your heart just break for you children.??? I wish I could take away all of her hurt. She will be better and stronger for holding her head high, as will you DD.

Good luck. The day may seem longer to you but will be just fine for you DD.

 

[LvsTnk]

That's exactly what I keep telling myself.......she will be stronger for this!! I hope everything goes well with your DD today as well . We can't keep them safe frome everthing I certainly would like to. I remember when some of these instances happened to me every now and then and you just get through it!
Thanks for the words of wisdom!!

Well, I hope it all ends up O.K. at least the sun is out

 

[llp479]

I'm dealing with this and my girls are in third grade! Last year one little girl picked on my dd everyday to the point where she physically hurt my dd and was suspended for it. I was so looking forward to this year because I knew they wouldn't be in class together. Guess what the district did - put this child in her twin sister's class!!!!

They had the perfect oportunity to guarentee my dds would never have a class with this child by putting this child in a different "house" - long story - we have "houses" not seperate schools in our district. Instead, I'm now guarenteed a 50-50 shot she'll be in one or the other's class! Talked to the principal on Saturday, and I'm calling the Social Worker today.

I'm sending some PD your way for your dd. I went through the same thing in HS and I wasn't popular! Most of my friends were guys because I can't stand the petty games girls/women play!

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

My HS friends were guys too.... actually most of them still are. I don't like to gossip, or have tea parties...... although I guess I have lots of girlfriends on the DIS!

My son had a problem like this in 6th grade.... a GIRL decided she was going to pick on him. He just ignored her and ignored her.... until finally she pushed him too far and he verbally went off on her.....

Long story short I got a call from the girl's mom that my son was HORRIBLE and she could not BELIEVE he was doing this to her precious daughter. Ahem. A visit to the principal's office with a deputy present amazingly put a stop to all of the kicking, punching, name calling, lying, gossip and other verbal abuse this "girl" was dishing out. Can you say assault? I have not heard from this mother again and the girl has not been a problem for US.... she has moved on to harass another individual.

Some kids (and their parents) have a lot of growing up to do.

 

[LvsTnk]

WOW, I guess it doesn't matter if it is the first day of school or the middle of the year it goes on all the time. We had a little of this last year with different girls going back and forth , but I was totally surprised about the "plan".

I was kind of a loaner myself but DD likes to be busy and signs up for every sport so she gets along well with the boys and I think this might be the problem. (can you say run on sentence)

I am having a hard time giving her advice I want her to stick up for herself, but I don't want her to be mean

 

[Disneydenise]

I felt sorry for myself that my DD went off to college this weekend.
I hated High School my kids hated it too.
I think everyone should have a mandetory 20th reunion appearance. That way you get to see that the "NERDS" are usually the ones who end up with the fastest cars and the biggest homes and often time the attractives spouses.
The Popular crowd generally look pretty beat because of all the hard living. It is difficult to keep all those appearances. Life lessons are so hard learned. The best thing about High School is it is over in four years. Usually by senior year everyone has found their place and thngs are great especially when the acceptance letters start rolling in.

 

[shep]

Hope all works out okay..
Give her a big hug when she gets home..

 

[KittieKat]

Uh, I hate when people rag on you like that. Its like they're God's gift to the world..so they have free rein to humiliate and alienate anyone who isnt at their standards..tell her to hold it out..after high school you wont see these people ever again, and Im sure she has way more things going for her, rather than them just being popular. Give her a hug from me!

 

[LvsTnk]

Just an update........DD said everything went O.K. Yea!! She said that group wasn't talking to her when she first got in, but then some of her good friends got there. Last night one of the girls that started it said she was sorry.

I was glad she didn't get into the name calling and wasn't mean. It taught her that everything will work out. I just hope today is just as good

Thanks for the support!!

 

[jan/cape]

I am happy to hear that the other girl 'stepped up to the plate' and appologized instead of ignoring the situation she created. I'm glad things are better. Life lessons can be so hard. They are always hardest on us moms.