DD lied to me for the 1st time today

[CEDmom]

DD- 4 1/2 went out with DH this afternoon to run some errands. One of these was to the drycleaners which is one of her favorites because she always gets a piece of candy. When they got back DH told me DD had gotten a tootsie roll but didn't want me to know about it. I thought no big deal and went to help get stuff out of the car. The first thing DD said when she saw me was "Mommy, I didn't get any candy at the drycleaner" .

I asked her if she was sure that was really true and that it wasn't nice to say things that weren't. She insisted she didn't get any candy. I told her how important it was to tell the truth and how disapointed I would be if she didn't. She just burst out crying.

I let her cry for a few minutes while I brought thing in the house. I wanted to be sure she felt really badly in hopes this wouldn't happen again. I then held her and comforted her and we had a long talk about it.

I think she understands what she did and that she'll be punished in the future if she does it again.

The whole thing has left me drained. I just felt so sad that she would feel the need to lie to me.

 

[stinkerbelle]

oye - i'm so sorry you have to deal with this at 4 and a half...

just wait until she's 14! sheesh!

sounds like you are instilling some great values/morals into your DD though. tough love works.

 

[always quiet]

Hurts, doesn't it??

 

[Robinrs]

Don't worry about it, like my Mom always said small children, small problems, big children BIG problems!

I try to remember every age I've been, it makes it easier when you put yourself in their place. We've ALL stretched the truth with our parents once, haven't we?

BTW, she is a living doll! Hug her for me!

 

[iamsorcerermickey]

Did your husband mention whether she ate the candy?

If your daughter mentioned to your husband--not to tell you she had gotten a piece of candy, then maybe she had a reason she didn't want you to know about it.

Maybe she is going to "surprise" you with it on Mothers Day!

 

[CEDmom]

Thanks for the responses. I know I stretched the truth many times growing up. I guess it was the fact the it's the first time and over such a trivial thing that bothered me the most.
She ate the candy. She told DH she didn't want me to know she got candy. I would have been fine if she hadn't said anything.

I try not to think about her being a teenager because this always happens

 

[shelbyjosh]

It only gets worse. I was just outside with DD9 and she asked me to get the frisbee in the yard behind us. I could reach it with a rake. Also on the other side of the fence was one of those plastic play chairs (they come with the kiddie tables). I asked her who put it over the fence. She said "not me". About 45 seconds later she said she "accidentally" threw it over the fence. She lied right to my face. I caught her and reamed her from one end to the other. I told her I was going to make her do a confession at mass tomorrow. I think she is petrified. She has no remorse about it. Didn't apologize or anything.

 

[huey duey & luey]

I'm sorry, but hopefully she learned a lesson. I had to add that, that is just the sweetest picture.
Tara

 

[Kallison]

My oldest DS always tells the truth, my middle DS fibs constantly. He still doesn't get why I believe his brother when he says something but give him the third degree. I keep telling him once that trust is gone it's hard to win back.