DD is on the Autism Spectrum w/ traits of ADD & OCD

[Luckymomoftwo]

Wow! I have known for two years that something wasn't quite right with my daughter. I have been searching for a doctor that could "test" her to see what was wrong. I also did a lot of searching on the internet to find what matched her "symptoms". When I read some stories and symptoms of Aspergers, it was like reading about my daughter. But, the neuropsychologist that I (finally found and) took her to said she's on the Autism Spectrum, but it isn't Aspergers because she does not have an advanced vocabulary. He also said she shows traits of ADD and OCD. So....our next step is to take her back to him a couple times over the summer for a couple of sessions.

I'm so relieved to finally have professional help, but OMG, it's not covered by my insurance and I DO NOT have the money to continuously go to a neuropsychologist!!! (I might have to pick up a second job to pay for it!) But that's a whole other problem. I'm wondering if anyone on here can share their success stories with me about your high functioning autistic child. I'm just afraid that I'll spend all this money for therapy and it won't work. I know that I can't rely solely on therapy sessions and that I have to learn new techniques of parenting here at home, too. I guess I just need some encouragement that it can help her!

TIA!!!

 

[Mackey Mouse]

I do not have any experience with what your daughter has.. hopefully someone will come and post that does have some advice for you.

It horrifies me that this is not covered by medical insurance......why I am shocked, I will never understand. I am continually shocked by what is covered and what it is not.....hopefully someone will fix the system.

 

[Luckymomoftwo]

Thanks! I know...I think the insurance companies know that Autism is becoming diagnosed more often so they choose not to cover it. I don't understand how it is classified as a developmental delay...to me it's no more different than any other child with a disease that prevents them from leading a normal life. It's still an organ in their body that is not functioning correctly!! I'm going to appeal with my insurance company to see if they will at least cover SOME expenses. I think the whole insurance through employers is a scam anyways. Each employee should be able to shop for their own insurance and then the employer can contribute. We found out how much my husband's employer pays for our family each month and couldn't even believe they even have that much in their budget (it's a local town government)!!!

Anyway...thank you for your concern! Hopefully someone else does read this and can offer me some encouragement!!

 

[frdeb1999]

Hope you will find the answers you need soon. And insurance companies seem to cover less and less.....but charge more per year. Just plain sad.

 

[lisah0711]

Sorry to hear about your DD. It is so hard to be a parent and try to help you child when you don't have good resources. Please check with your local school district. She may qualify for some early intervention programs. Also accommodations when she enters school. Maybe there are some free clinics or clinics that charge on a sliding scale. Any teaching hospitals within a reasonable distance? And while you are looking for resources to help your DD, don't forget to take care of yourself. You can't be caregiver to everyone if you don't take care of yourself. and good luck to you.

 

[breezy1077]

Hiya! My DS age 8 has a DX of PDD-NOS which is on the spectrum. My guess is that's where your child might fall. They have characteristics of both autism and aspergers with some other quirks thrown in for good measure .

First off, Hugs! I know what it's like to finally have a dx to go with your suspicions. It's bittersweet isn't it?

Good news is: you can now move on to get some specific help for your child. Yes, I'm also familiar with the ins. ***. who don't pay for squat! Both his eval and re-eval (which added a dx of ADD this past Sept.) ran about $700 each and neither was covered. And that's not to mention his therapies.

But, the school district will be able to help with some services. Once you have that dx of an ASD. DS qualifies for a modified curriculum on his IEP as well as Speech and OT services. I'd look into it asap.

In the meantime, here's a poem that helped me:

The Special Mother

by Erma Bombeck



Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

Hugs and prayers!

 

[Luckymomoftwo]

WOW! Thank you so much, breezy1077, for that beautiful story to read! It puts things into a whole different perspective! I have always believed that God will not give us more than we can handle. I know sometimes it feels like it, but that just means we need to ask Him for the strength to get through whatever it is we're faced with. My daughter is such a sweetie, but there are times when she turns into a little monster. Sometimes I just have to take deep breaths and take a different approach when that little monster comes out!

I haven't been all that pleased with the special needs class that the school has placed her in. But, I'm just not sure what to do about it at this point. I'm trying to contact the school about it, but with the end of the school year here I know the administrators are extremely busy.

Lisah0711 - Thank you for the reminder to take care of myself. Ever since I became a mother of two, I've forgotten to do that! It's so hard to work full time and raise two kids and take care of an entire house because the hubby works two jobs and is never home!

frdeb1999- Thank you! I hope I find the answers I need soon, too! I've found a couple of resources for tutoring over the Summer, but we'll see what happens.

Thanks, again, everyone!

 

[JandJ]

Just wanted to say <<BIG HUGS>> My nephew has Asperger's and rage issues. We knew there was something "off" from the moment my sister brought him home from the hospital, and it only got stranger/worse as he got older. He was diagnosed at age 4. He still has problems, especially when they tweak his medication, but he's very bright and has become more social through therapy. We strongly believe his father has Asperger's too, but was never diagnosed.

Keep checking for a doctor that your insurance company will cover. My sister had to call the insurance company many times to get them to refer her to a doctor on their all-mighty list. Once you find a doctor you like (and who is hopefully covered by insurance) they will help you make a plan which you can bring to your daughter's school counselor. In Florida they call it an "ISP" and the teachers have to follow it. It gives special accommodation for things like tests and field trips, which can be extremely stressful to kids who have even mild Autism. The other thing my sister found is each year establish a relationship with the teacher early. The more contact you have and information you can give the teacher the better they will understand what behaviors are "out of the norm" for your daughter. Best of luck to you and your family!

 

[OKWMom]

I have an 11 y.o. daughter in the low-functioning end of the spectrum. Hugs to you dear. I don't have any advice but I will tell you that even at our end of the spectrum, the therapy has been wonderful. I was told by several professionals that not much could be done for my child and I'm happy to say they were wrong.

She doesn't speak, but uses sign language. She is still mastering the things most parents take for granted like dressing herself, bathing herself, etc, but she is happy and very much a part of our family. We just learned how to make small adjustments to better fit our family life around her.

I think the therapy: OT for a long while, PT for a short while, Speech and ABA/AVB based therapy (9 years) have not only made her into more than she would have been, but has changed me for the better. Like the post above said, having a disabled child gives you perspective, among other things.

There is a famous essay called "Welcome to Holland" which likens having a disabled child to planning a trip to Italy only to discover your plane lands in Holland. I think it is a decent explanation for outsiders, but I prefer to think we are also in Italy, we're just touring it differently. Just a little slower and maybe seeing it from a different perspective.

Hang in there. The first bit is the roughest but once you find a therapy that works for your child, you'll both be better.