DD has started wetting her pants - help!

[mommy2allyandaveri]

In the last 2 weeks or so DD has had 5 pee accidents. She just started Kindergarden about 2 weeks ago. I think it probably has something to do with that but we just don't know what to do about it. Prior to this she was in preschool full time so she has been in school before, just not an elementary school. She knows it is not acceptable but it continues to happen.

We have tried getting angry and that doesn't seem to matter. We have threatened to take things away or put her back in a diaper but that doesn't help either.

Our next thought was to just ignore it and say ok go change, thinking maybe she is doing it for attention.

We just don't know where to go from here.

I e-mailed her ped but haven't heard back yet.

Any advice?

 

[thegrimdwarf]

Any chance she has a UTI or bladder infection? I used to get them as a kid, and I know that I used to have accidents with them - when you constantly feel like you need to go, you don't really know when it's "for real".

 

[jessica52877]

Good thought on the UTI. I would make sure of that. Otherwise I would go with the ignore method. I have read that it works but no experience with it.

 

[Poohbug]

My oldest DS had a couple of accidents when he started school. He was afraid to take time out from having fun to go to the bathroom. He was also afraid he would miss something. We convinced him that he would not miss anything taking a few minutes to go. We also mapped out his schedule and had him make potty stops between classes like gym, lunch, recess etc. It has not been a big problem since. Make sure DD doesn't have a medical issue-then set up times in her schedule to make potty stops.

 

[mommy2allyandaveri]

I never thought about the UTI. I will ask her ped when she e-mails me back today.

When we have questioned her it has been the whole not wanting to stop while playing thing.

Thanks guys.

 

[poohfriend77]

Did they have regular "potty breaks" in preschool? My first thought was that maybe her teachers used to tell her when to go, but now she has to ask. My DD is pretty shy, and I was worried she wouldn't raise her hand to ask the teacher if she could go, especially in front of the whole class. On her first day, her teacher assured her that she could just go whenever she needed to, and that she only needed to raise her hand if they were having circle time. Luckily, they have bathrooms in each classroom. Maybe rules are stricter if kids have to walk down the hall?

Do you think she's embarrassed to raise her hand and ask? If that's the case, talk to the teacher and maybe they can come up with a "signal" until she's comfortable raising her hand and asking out loud.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I work in a preschool class and was discussing this issue with the principal and a teacher today. My class is special ed and we sent one boy to regular ed kindergarten this year. Apparently he's been running to the principal who does yard duty at recess and begging to use the bathroom. His teacher said he never asks to go during class and he refuses when she suggests he go. He gets very involved with the toys and doesn't want to lose the toy he's playing with so he refuses to leave it. They asked me if we had this problem last year. I told them we never gave him a choice about using the bathroom. We told him to go and he wasn't allowed to refuse. If we saw he was having a turn with a particular toy he really liked, we would hold it for him until he was done so someone else wouldn't take it. But, he didn't have the option to say no to the bathroom. He at least had to go in and try.

I think this is pretty common among kids in a new classroom. They are so excited about all of the new things that they can't be bothered to do those boring routine things like going to the bathroom. Your DDs teacher needs to tell her to use the bathroom at certain times and not take no for an answer. She shouldn't ask her if she has to go. She needs to tell her it's time to go. The teacher can work out times during transitions, before or after snack or recess when your DD is least likely to miss something she enjoys. And I can say for a fact that the teacher would much rather keep a child on a bathroom schedule than have to deal with a wetting accident! It may take a few weeks of this until she settles into the classroom routine and gets better about managing bathroom time by herself.

 

[dougsmom98]

My son had trouble for a week or so in kindergarten. They had a designated Kindergarten bathroom that had one toilet, turns out the flusher was super loud and the acoustics in this bathroom only made it worse. He was scared to death to use the bathroom. Once the teacher and I figured it out, he used the other bathrooms in the school and he was fine. It may be that she is nervous to go to the bathroom alone and walk the halls or something like that.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I had a problem with my middle daughter when she started school. She asked to go to the bathroom all day long. The teacher was really concerned because she went so much, and it went on for several weeks.

After taking her to the Dr, he said that it was because she was nervous. I didn't like that answer so I took her to Children's hospital for a bunch of test. Some were awful. Anyway, she was fine and the Dr. was right, it was her nerves. After a while she was fine. We just stopped giving her attention about the bathroom problem that she was having, and she got over it on her own.

 

[badblackpug]

Is she wetting herself at school or at home or both?

If she is wetting herself just at home, maybe it is that she doesn't go all day long in school. (afraid to ask, too busy, having too much fun) and by the time she gets home she has held all she can hold.

I have 2 that do/did this (I posted in another thread that my son has done it twice at MK ) The thing that worked with them was the ignore method. When the wetting occurs make the child stop everything she is doing. Turn off the TV, etc. Make her bathe, change her clothes, rinse out her soiled clothes, and put them in the washer and dryer. Make sure all this takes as long as possible. Don't get angry. Stay very calm and matter of fact. "Oh, you wet yourself, well I guess you will have to stop playing and get cleaned up." She will soon learn that it is quicker to just go when she has to.

Maybe you could e-mail the teacher and ask her to remind your daughter to go during lunch and recess.

...as long as it is not a UTI.

 

[karliebug]

Is she also very thirsty? Frequent urination is a sign of diabetes in children. Please take her to the pediatrician and get her checked out. Is she afraid to use the bathroom at school? Afraid to ask the teacher? Doesn't know where the bathroom is?

 

[dementia412]

Well first off getting mad was probably the worst thing you could have done. Sorry, but its true. There are so many possibilities and not one is her fault. Most likely its related to the big change of going to "real" school and if you relax and just give her reminders rather than reprimands she will get over it. If this is happening at school I would suggest talking to the teacher about how bathroom breaks are dealt with. Maybe she needs to be reminded, or she may be uncomfortable going in a big bathroom with a bunch of other kids. There could be any number of factors... think of all the kids who pee in their pants because they are too embarased to raise their hand and ask to use the toilet. She could also have a physical reason for having accidents.
Bottom line, talk to the teacher, talk to your dd and talk to her doctor, and try not to get too upset about this. Good luck.

 

[tzolkin]

I hope your dr. will check for a UTI. My oldest was completely potty trained by 2 1/2. She has only had about 4 or 5 accidents since (she's 9 now) and every single time I immediately took her to the dr. and she had a UTI. She did not have any pain or other symptoms. I never would have known if she didn't have an accident.

I didn't notice if OP said this was happening at school or at home. Every school I've been to the teacher has a few set bathroom times/reminders throughout the day. Like before they go to lunch, gym, etc. she would remind everyone to use the bathroom if they had to before lining up. Maybe you could encourage your DD to "try" at those times even if she doesnt think she has to go. I know when I'm out with my kids and they say they don't have to go, if they "try" they usually will.

 

[stsomewhere]

My DD would not tell her K teacher she had to go. She would hold it all day.
The had a bathroom in their class but, DD say said that the boys did not have good aim.
I spoke with teacher- she was able to use restroom across the hall.

 

[CampbellScot]

my step daughter was having similar problems in first grade...she kept saying she couldn't get her pants unbuttoned in time.

She's 9 now and casually told me last week that the reason she kept wetting her pants in 1rst grade was b/c she was afraid of the "automatic" flush toilets. They were in a temporary classroom that happened to have that kind of toilet. she knew that their regular classroom had regular flush toilets. So she just wet herself instead of dealing with it, knowing it would only be for the first week of school. She didn't want to be confronted on the issue and took her chances with wetting her pants. She was THAT afraid of the automatic flush. It makes sense. She STILL tries to get me to go into stalls with her and hold the sensor so it won't flush on her.

fears instilled at young ages are the hardest to get rid of!

I'm still DEATHLY afraid of clowns!

point being...I'm sure there is an actual reason for the accidents that makes perfect sense to your daughter. I'd check out the UTI route. If it's not that, don't make a big deal about the wetting but make sure she is very involved in helping clean up. She needs to put the undies in the hamper or washer, clean what needs to be cleaned and help tidy herself up. It's a natural consequence if the wetting is a choice. Very good lesson in being responsible for her choices.

 

[JackJack08]

Is she also very thirsty? Frequent urination is a sign of diabetes in children. Please take her to the pediatrician and get her checked out. Is she afraid to use the bathroom at school? Afraid to ask the teacher? Doesn't know where the bathroom is?

My friends daughter, 6, started peeing her pants.....the took her to the doctor and she is diabetic. That was really the only symptom that she had. Not to scare you, but it may be worth just checking out.

 

[ajh88]

Did they have regular "potty breaks" in preschool? My first thought was that maybe her teachers used to tell her when to go, but now she has to ask. My DD is pretty shy, and I was worried she wouldn't raise her hand to ask the teacher if she could go, especially in front of the whole class. On her first day, her teacher assured her that she could just go whenever she needed to, and that she only needed to raise her hand if they were having circle time. Luckily, they have bathrooms in each classroom. Maybe rules are stricter if kids have to walk down the hall?

Do you think she's embarrassed to raise her hand and ask? If that's the case, talk to the teacher and maybe they can come up with a "signal" until she's comfortable raising her hand and asking out loud.

This is what I was going to say. My DD had an accident once in kindergarten and once last year in 1st grade. The kinder accident - no big deal, teacher says it happens. First grade - WTH?! Turns out, the teacher said something along the lines of not bothering her or not asking questions during one certain daily activity (I don't know what was ACTUALLY said) - anyhow, DD was under the impression she couldn't ask ANYTHING and was terrified of getting in trouble for asking to go to the bathroom during that activity. I was mortified, but DD was so upset (crying her eyes out actually) about it, anger was about the last thing I could feel.

And in Kindergarten, their bathroom was in the classroom - is your DD's in the room? If not, maybe she is nervous about going alone or is afraid she'll get lost? Has she given you any insight into what has happened?