DD harassed @ school/what to do?

[Schmeck]

Since the principal won't do anything, go to the Superintendent, and the police as well. Don't let this wait until the psycho does something physical, please!

 

[4forMe]

I just want to echo what everyone else has said about going straight to the police and having as much written documentation as possible. Do you also know of anyone that might have access to this girl's myspace or facebook accounts? If she has written or implied threats on either of those about your DD, that might be enough for the police to arrest and charge her. Also, if there are threats towards students on these accounts, many school districts now automatically suspend the student making the threat.

Thinking of you and your family

 

[wdwmom0f3]

The principle called and he met with the girl, again, and reviewed her monologue. He said that while it was about a killer, it in no way said any thing about my DD. Of course not, I told him that, but it made her & everyone else in the class think of my DD. So, nothing was done other than talking to her again, and by the time he has called me, the girl had walked behind my DD at lunch and called her a skank. Whatever.

The only thing that did surprise me was that he said that the girl told him that I have been following her around on the weekends. I could not believe it. I have only seen this girl in person twice in my life. Once was last year while helping out at the school in the drama class, and once this year during the meeting with her mom. I was livid. Not only that, but I have no idea what she even drives.

Needless to say, I will be going to the police on Monday to file a report. I will file a report for every little thing that she does from this day forward because I have a feeling that it's gonna get ugly. I pray that it doesn't but you can't deal with people like this.

To top it all off, she beat my daughter for a part in the up coming play. The teacher is young, and this girl has been telling her all of her problems. The funny thing is, the name of the play is the Ugly Duckling. My DD still got a part but no longer wants to be in it.

I think I gain a pound every week from all of this stress.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I just want to echo what everyone else has said about going straight to the police and having as much written documentation as possible. Do you also know of anyone that might have access to this girl's myspace or facebook accounts? If she has written or implied threats on either of those about your DD, that might be enough for the police to arrest and charge her. Also, if there are threats towards students on these accounts, many school districts now automatically suspend the student making the threat.

Thinking of you and your family

She has a myspace account. She commented my DD two days ago and said that "I know you don't like me, but you did good today in Drama". It's like another dig at her. (she got the part over my DD.) DD did not reply to her.

The worse thing that I have seen for myself was that the day she got suspended for yelling at my DD in the hall, she posted something for everyone to see that said something about regretting to kick my DD's a$$ earlier that day. I have it printed for the police. I showed her mom that day, and she didn't care & the principle did nothing.


I looked at her page yesterday for the first time, and there are a few "you know who you are" and then some mean comments, but she has not used DD's name lately.

 

[kellyg403]

I guess this will never end. DD does not want me to go to the police, but if this does not stop today, I am there next week to at least start a file for them to document the things that she is doing.

I so understand that your dd does not want to go to the police. Their lives are miserable enough without adding to it. I fully understand. I also understand that you guys at least "need" to go to the police and talk to them about what you need to do, what paper trail you need, what signs your dd needs to look for, even some safety measures so she is never caught unaware. These are vitally important, especially if the boy is using other people to harrass her. The first step is the hardest step. You may not even be able to file anything with the police, so going there and speaking to someone is totally different. We were lucky and there was a detective that befriended dd enough that she was able to trust what he was saying. Then the Women's Shelter was instrumental in teaching her the cycles that she could literally SEE in black and white on paper. Groups that she can sit in onn and see that she is NOT alone in dealing with it. We had a restraining order on our boy and his new girlfriend, we played heck getting it used. Every so often we have to get it renewed. They don't send a letter saying it is about to end, you have to remember and get it renewed. DD lives on her own now, things are better but as long as this boy is walking around taking victims along the way noone is safe.

Kelly

 

[MUFFYCAT]

I hope this girl gets some discipline. The school did nothing to stop herl so you have no choice but go to the police. Did you go to the superintendent?
Print out anything you see on her myspace. She can delete any messages and info about your DD so that it wasn't there if the Police or school check.

If someone leaves her message that could imply that it's about your DD click into their account. She could have said some really nasty things about her.

My heart goes out to your DD and yourself.

 

[disneymarie]

My daughter is being harassed at school by a girl and I am so sick of it, and I don't know what else to do. Long story short, my daughter was "going with" a boy when she was in the 8th grade. I hated him, he was a looser and once I found out that he quit school, I put an end to it. My daughter thought she could change him, her first boyfriend, but couldn't. I found out that he threatened to kill me so I put a restraining order on him to stay away from all of us. He also hit & abused my daughter, as I found out later. She would sneak to see him, but finally hates him too. No one would want this for their child. She was not raised this way. (they "went out" for only 6 months.)

Well, he now goes out with a girl from her high school, I think he lives with her now. This girl has harassed her for over a year, but it has recently gotten real bad. The girl has been suspended twice. Once for cussing DD in the hall & once for skipping school only to show up for Drama class along with her boyfriend, and then leave again. Her BF could have been arrested for trespassing and has been formally warned. Her mom wanted to meet with the principle & DH & me so we did. It didn't work. Her daughter is STILL messing with her. She sees my daughter as a threat. She is a Senior and my daughter is a Sophomore.

Last week my daughter had enough, and wanted to fight her. Again, I go up to the school for help. The last thing I want is my daughter to get suspended. She is a good student and we have never had any problems. They needed witnesses, but he would not take DD's friends, it had to be a teacher. Yesterday, she tried to trip her in the hall. She sits in the hall and stares at DD to try to scare her. She follows DD around the campus. Talks to DD's friends about her, etc. Everything that DD is involved with or likes, she puts the same thing on her myspace page. This girl is crazy, and not well liked. (being kind here)

Today, they are in the same Drama class and during auditions for the up coming play, DD got another "dig" from the girl. They were told to give a monologue from a movie. The girl chose to write one on her own. It was all about how she would kill this preppy girl, taking her life with her bare hands. How she was never noticed before because she wasn't the prettiest thing, but she would be known for killing the preppy girl. It went on & on.

DD knew this was directed toward her, and so did all of her classmates. The teacher did nothing. She is aware that there is a problem with the girls and tries to keep them apart. My problem is, I don't know what to do. If I go back to the school, they will tell me that she didn't mention DD's name in it. What should I do? Something needs to be done. I don't want my daughter to fight her, although she could kick her a$$, I just don't want that to happen. I just want all of this to END!

Advice..... PLEASE!

I think this is stalking, terroristic threats, harassment for a few things. IT needs legal intevention beyond the school. If the school does not have an internal legal officer ask for one to be called to the school to investagate and put them on notice that her safety is in their hands when she attends school.

If there is not a school enforcement officer have the police investagate.
Thank heavens she is a sr and gone...but I would have her to the point that one glance would have her expelled for zero tolerance of violation of a document that is drawn up.

ALSO it is nuts to not take the word of other students. Most times you can not get them to talk they must be concerned for your dd and their own safety!
Schools under the Senate bill 71 have to take this serious!There is to be legally mandated actions the district must take. Contact the school board, the superintenant. ANYONE!!!!
Di

 

[tonilea]

IMO, that is terroristic threatening and you should involve the police.

 

[princessmom29]

I guess being around teenagers all day gives me a completely different perspective than most parents, but Ir eally think that going to the police with this is not going to do you any good. They are simply going to blow you off. It is not right,but I am 99% sure that this is what will happen. They will see it as a feud between two girls over a boy and nothing more. There is no proff of terroristic threats or any of the other things pp's have mentioned from what you have written here. I don't agree with it, but I can tell you from experience that this is the case. While getting a resource officer involved may scare the girl into leaving your DD alone for a while i am going to agree with a pp who said that the only real solution is going to be for your daughter to pretend she doiesn't exist. I have worked with teenagers long enough to know that most who act out like this in such public and vocal manner ar simply looking for attention. Once the attention stops they will too.

 

[bwatlas]

The principle called and he met with the girl, again, and reviewed her monologue. He said that while it was about a killer, it in no way said any thing about my DD. Of course not, I told him that, but it made her & everyone else in the class think of my DD. So, nothing was done other than talking to her again, and by the time he has called me, the girl had walked behind my DD at lunch and called her a skank. Whatever.

Needless to say, I will be going to the police on Monday to file a report. I will file a report for every little thing that she does from this day forward because I have a feeling that it's gonna get ugly. I pray that it doesn't but you can't deal with people like this.

To top it all off, she beat my daughter for a part in the up coming play. The teacher is young, and this girl has been telling her all of her problems. The funny thing is, the name of the play is the Ugly Duckling. My DD still got a part but no longer wants to be in it.

I think I gain a pound every week from all of this stress.

Inquiring minds in support are curious. How's it going?

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Update:

My daughter pitched a fit and did not want us to go to the police. Since then she has changed her mind. She was told by another student, a friend, that the girl said that she was going to kill a bullfrog. It may not sound like much, but that's what she calls my daughter, for whatever reason. So, DH is off the rest of the week and we are going to the police to file a report. Just in case anything else does happen. I still can't believe that the school wont do anything, but they wont.

 

[chloe770]

Update:

My daughter pitched a fit and did not want us to go to the police. Since then she has changed her mind. She was told by another student, a friend, that the girl said that she was going to kill a bullfrog. It may not sound like much, but that's what she calls my daughter, for whatever reason. So, DH is off the rest of the week and we are going to the police to file a report. Just in case anything else does happen. I still can't believe that the school wont do anything, but they wont.

I think you are doing the right thing. That girl sounds like she is unstable and nuts.

Best wishes to you and your family.

 

[bwatlas]

I think you are doing the right thing. That girl sounds like she is unstable and nuts.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Wish you all the best!

 

[gottaluvPluto]

Update:

My daughter pitched a fit and did not want us to go to the police. Since then she has changed her mind. She was told by another student, a friend, that the girl said that she was going to kill a bullfrog. It may not sound like much, but that's what she calls my daughter, for whatever reason. So, DH is off the rest of the week and we are going to the police to file a report. Just in case anything else does happen. I still can't believe that the school wont do anything, but they wont.

Hopefully, the police will go and talk to her and scare her. This is just nuts. I will say some prayers for your family, what a stressful situation.

 

[Scurvy]

I guess being around teenagers all day gives me a completely different perspective than most parents, but Ir eally think that going to the police with this is not going to do you any good. They are simply going to blow you off. It is not right,but I am 99% sure that this is what will happen. They will see it as a feud between two girls over a boy and nothing more. There is no proff of terroristic threats or any of the other things pp's have mentioned from what you have written here. I don't agree with it, but I can tell you from experience that this is the case. While getting a resource officer involved may scare the girl into leaving your DD alone for a while i am going to agree with a pp who said that the only real solution is going to be for your daughter to pretend she doiesn't exist. I have worked with teenagers long enough to know that most who act out like this in such public and vocal manner ar simply looking for attention. Once the attention stops they will too.

Even if the police don't actually do anything at this point (and sadly I agree that they very well might not), they will start to document the situation. In cases like this having a paper trail is very important so if the situation continues to escalate they will have the record of events. It will be easier to get them to take action later if there is ongoing documentation of the issues.

OP - I hope you get everything worked out. I know it must be horribly stressful for your daughter!

 

[tytydane]

My daughter is being harassed at school by a girl and I am so sick of it, and I don't know what else to do. Long story short, my daughter was "going with" a boy when she was in the 8th grade. I hated him, he was a looser and once I found out that he quit school, I put an end to it. My daughter thought she could change him, her first boyfriend, but couldn't. I found out that he threatened to kill me so I put a restraining order on him to stay away from all of us. He also hit & abused my daughter, as I found out later. She would sneak to see him, but finally hates him too. No one would want this for their child. She was not raised this way. (they "went out" for only 6 months.)

Well, he now goes out with a girl from her high school, I think he lives with her now. This girl has harassed her for over a year, but it has recently gotten real bad. The girl has been suspended twice. Once for cussing DD in the hall & once for skipping school only to show up for Drama class along with her boyfriend, and then leave again. Her BF could have been arrested for trespassing and has been formally warned. Her mom wanted to meet with the principle & DH & me so we did. It didn't work. Her daughter is STILL messing with her. She sees my daughter as a threat. She is a Senior and my daughter is a Sophomore.

Last week my daughter had enough, and wanted to fight her. Again, I go up to the school for help. The last thing I want is my daughter to get suspended. She is a good student and we have never had any problems. They needed witnesses, but he would not take DD's friends, it had to be a teacher. Yesterday, she tried to trip her in the hall. She sits in the hall and stares at DD to try to scare her. She follows DD around the campus. Talks to DD's friends about her, etc. Everything that DD is involved with or likes, she puts the same thing on her myspace page. This girl is crazy, and not well liked. (being kind here)

Today, they are in the same Drama class and during auditions for the up coming play, DD got another "dig" from the girl. They were told to give a monologue from a movie. The girl chose to write one on her own. It was all about how she would kill this preppy girl, taking her life with her bare hands. How she was never noticed before because she wasn't the prettiest thing, but she would be known for killing the preppy girl. It went on & on.

DD knew this was directed toward her, and so did all of her classmates. The teacher did nothing. She is aware that there is a problem with the girls and tries to keep them apart. My problem is, I don't know what to do. If I go back to the school, they will tell me that she didn't mention DD's name in it. What should I do? Something needs to be done. I don't want my daughter to fight her, although she could kick her a$$, I just don't want that to happen. I just want all of this to END!

Advice..... PLEASE!

If you stop the girl will too. That happened to me, i got murder threats and all that and it wont stop untill you do and ignore it. Block the girl on everything you can and have your daughter moved out of classes she is in with the girl. that is the only was it will stop..

 

[scoobndolliesmom]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope things settle down so your daughter can just have a fun in highschool. Keep us posted and let us know what you decide to do ! Best wishes.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

If you stop the girl will too. That happened to me, i got murder threats and all that and it wont stop untill you do and ignore it. Block the girl on everything you can and have your daughter moved out of classes she is in with the girl. that is the only was it will stop..

That is exactly what the principle said to do, and as far as I know my DD has tried to do this. She was standing outside of my DD's class on Friday but my DD didn't tell the teacher so nothing was done. My DD doesn't seem to care anymore. I think she has gotten used to it.

 

[disneymarie]

If you print and see the myspace problems contact them. They will close the account and really be aggressive to this.
The school is playing with fire. Because of Columbine there are aggressive reg's that the schools have to inforce and train staff under US Senate Bill 71.
Contact the school board and superintenant over this.
Also, the police report is very important.
I would put the girls senior year in jeapordym she is an adult now and this is unacceptable behavior.

I have to think also if your dd is holding it in it could be self destroying her self esteem and creat undo stress. Like every corner looking, and outside every door. She may have just given up hope that the school would really help her.
Let her know that you do not accept this poor excuse of a student being allowed to intimadate and threaten her.
I wish she had one person at school that would help.
di

 

[memymomonica]

Not sure if this has been mentioned, but have you considered going to the local newspaper. With some unwanted publicity, the principal may rethink the situation. Could be a piece on bullying, stalking, etc. Make sure that you log everything. Print off MySpace pages. Anyway she can video at school? Gather as much proof as possible!