DD 13, has decided she'd rather not go to WDW with the Family!

[tiff211]

Probably the wrong board to offer this opinion, but why not do something other than Disney? Being pregnant, having really young children.....someone is going to get cranky! For your oldest to ride what she wants, the little ones will have to wait in the long lines if you can't keep the little 2 occupied alone.

Tough decision.

{GASP!}.......Something other than Disney?! I was hoping the happiest place on earth would take away my crankiness! LOL!

 

[nowellsl]

At her age I would let her decide which she wanted to do. As long as she knows she is welcome at either place.

 

[tiff211]

I have read all the posts and have answered some of them individually. A lot for you have great advice and I thank you. My mom always refered to the quote "it takes a village to raise a child" and now that I am a mom, I understand that.

One thing I have to say is that me and my daughter have a very open relationship. We communicate very well and she knows I will tell her exactly how I feel and she is allowed to do the same, as long is she is respectful. She knows that if I didn't want her to go, I would just say it and state my reasons. I know that if there were underlying reasons in her not wanting to go she would say it to me. When she acts out at school or home, I am always told she is crying out for attention. I give her as much attention as possible, I listen to her chat about her friends, we go shopping together, we spend time talking about any and everything, we play games, etc, etc. I shared my mom with 7 brothers and sisters and I did not get in trouble in school and she did not spend that much time with me. I learned it was the way it was. My family was blended as well.

I tell my daughter how she will always have a place in my heart that NO other child of mine will ever be able to have because we spent 7 years together just me and her. Before my husband, before the other kids. She smiles everytime I say that. (I just make sure I don't say in front of the other kids). And I also tell her I know it's hard to not feel fully connected to either family but that's the way it is. When I first got married, she wanted to change her last name to mine. I asked her how did she think that would make her daddy feel or her grandparents. It's a special thing to pass on your name to your child. She also wanted to call me husband "daddy" but I told her again that was a special name she called her father, so I suggested we come up with some other special name for her stepfather. She calls him dad. And as much of a bitter pill as it is for me to swallow, she asked if I minded if she called her stepmom "mom" when they got married and I said it was fine.

We talked again last night and she said she really wants to say with her grandparents (who live near us), so she can hang out with her friends that week but she thinks her dad will be mad. She also said she doesn't want to spend the whole summer because she will miss cheerleading. She said she really doesn't care about going to Disney because she already went and unless she could bring a friend it would be boring. (Bringing a friend is not possible).

I try to talk to her dad as much as possible and keep him in the loop. He does not do what he should as far as she is concerned, does not call her very often, does not pay child support and sometimes cancels her time down there, but I do not let that stop me from doing my job. If there was any reason for her to be acting out that would be it. She is now old enough to know what the deal is. I will never say a bad word about him to her but I think she is starting to see who is there for her and who is not.

I have told her she has up to the day we leave to change her mind. BTW, I gave her the trip back based on my other DD wanting her to go and the fact I felt I did speak out of anger. Since that time, she has stayed out of trouble so I am comfortable with having made that decision.

BTW, neither DD and I are not beach people. I don't like sand or salt water! LOL!

 

[mary174]

From what you said I think you made the right decision to leave it up to your daughter. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't do everything in your power to tempt her to come with you. Perhaps you should mention that you and the younger children will need naps, and if your husband and daughter want keep track of the strollers they can walk you to the shuttle stop and then do thrill rides while you take the younger two back to your room to watch toon Disney and nap for a few hours. Let her know that you really want her with you and that you are willing to make some sacrifices to give her a good time for the pleasure of her presence. How tall and interested in the more thrilling rides is your 4 y/o? If your husband could take both girls on rides like Splash Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, there is a play area for toddlers between them where you could get off your feet for a while and let your two y/o play. If that's not possible both youngsters might like it and it is a good spot for a parent who wants to rest to deal with two kids. Space Mountain has several rides near it that 3 people could do together which should be possible for you and two young children. Mission Space in Epcot has a really fun play area that my 2 and 4 y/o boys didn't want to leave. Test Track has an Automobile show case and gift shop that people could have fun waiting in and a 40 inch height limit, but it isn't quite so parent friendly as you would need to keep up with your kids. In MGM Studios you and your youngsters could go to Playhouse Disney while your husband and daughter went to Tower of Terror and Rockin' Roller Coaster. Animal Kingdom's Dinosaur is very near The Boneyard play area which has only one exit and which kids love.
Let your daughter know that she would be expected to visit Character Meals and Dumbo with apparent pleasure, but that you were going to try to ensure that everyone had a fun trip. I think it is very important that you stress how much you would like your daughter to be a part of your family trip. If she chooses not to go, then that is her choice. Just don't let her think her company and needs aren't important to you.

 

[cbrfan]

This may not even an issue in your family, but as the oldest girl in a family of six children (four were younger), family vacations were NOT a good time for me. We never did WDW or anything but go to the family cabin but there were quite a few vacations where I never even smiled the whole time. I felt I was there only to serve as an extra pair of hands and to be a built-in babysitter. It didn't help that a few of those times I'd been invited to go on vacations with my friends and their families instead. Even at my age (somewhere between estrogen and death) I can look back on that time and still not find anything good in those trips. Your daughter may be looking at this trip as being "a working vacation". I think if you make her go along with you it's especially important let her have time to do what she likes to do, too. I understand you can't go on the thrill rides, but if you can't handle the little ones on your own while your DH joins her maybe you could schedule that during the little ones naptimes or leave the little ones in on the childcare facilities for a few hours. Whether she goes with you or with her father 13 is a tough age. I feel for you.

 

[swthrtpallanes]

In my humble opinion...
Let her know how much you want her to go, but leave her behind if that is her choice. I would buy her a nice souvenir at WDW and check in with her everyday.

You are going to be busy with the kiddos, and your own comfort. You don't need to add a sulking teen to your already busy day.

 

[LSUmiss]

In my humble opinion...
Let her know how much you want her to go, but leave her behind if that is her choice. I would buy her a nice souvenir at WDW and check in with her everyday.

You are going to be busy with the kiddos, and your own comfort. You don't need to add a sulking teen to your already busy day.

Well she’s probably 26 now so I’d definitely let her decide

 

[WaltDavisWorld]

I wouldn’t give my 13 year old that kind of option. I would never go on vacation, especially to Disney without one of my children, unless it’s when they are grown obviously lol. I would arranged another time for her to spend a week with her dad and make her go with you. As someone mentioned your DH should have no problem riding the bigger rides with her. If you punished her already by taking away bringing a friend along why give her the choice to avoid that punishment? I think you and her would both really regret it. Can’t inagine having pics of the trip and one of my kids not be included. This is all just my opinion based on not knowing the details of your life. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision. Good luck!

 

[TheOneWithTheTriplets]

While I certainly understand that you don't want to go on a family vacation without your daughter, the trip that you're planning doesn't sound particularly fun for a 13 year old. Since you're not willing to stay back with the younger kids to let her ride the thrill rides with her stepfather, I don't know how much of the trip will actually be enjoyable for her. She'll be stuck following toddler schedules and interests instead of the things she wants to do. Family trips always involve some level of compromise, certainly the whole thing shouldn't revolve around her, but at least some of the planning should be done specifically to hit her "must-dos" if you really want her to come.

Is there no wiggle room in your unwillingness to take the two younger ones by yourself? Could you bring them to the Dis Jr dance show while she and stepdad do ToT and RnR? Or, you camp out in the Dumbo play area with the littles while they use FPs at SDMT and Space? Book your Epcot tier 1 as the Mickey M&G and send them to Test Track? Certainly, you know your kids and your limits. If you're sure that it wouldn't be safe for you to have them alone in the park, then so be it. But, I'm assuming you'll be rocking a pretty good double stroller for your trip. In my experience, kids that age will take long enough to eat a giant lollipop or Mickey Bar for her to have time to do bigger stuff without you having two kids running in opposite directions.

 

[MickeyWaffles]

I wouldn’t give my 13 year old that kind of option. I would never go on vacation, especially to Disney without one of my children, unless it’s when they are grown obviously lol. I would arranged another time for her to spend a week with her dad and make her go with you. As someone mentioned your DH should have no problem riding the bigger rides with her. If you punished her already by taking away bringing a friend along why give her the choice to avoid that punishment? I think you and her would both really regret it. Can’t inagine having pics of the trip and one of my kids not be included. This is all just my opinion based on not knowing the details of your life. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision. Good luck!

While I certainly understand that you don't want to go on a family vacation without your daughter, the trip that you're planning doesn't sound particularly fun for a 13 year old. Since you're not willing to stay back with the younger kids to let her ride the thrill rides with her stepfather, I don't know how much of the trip will actually be enjoyable for her. She'll be stuck following toddler schedules and interests instead of the things she wants to do. Family trips always involve some level of compromise, certainly the whole thing shouldn't revolve around her, but at least some of the planning should be done specifically to hit her "must-dos" if you really want her to come.

Is there no wiggle room in your unwillingness to take the two younger ones by yourself? Could you bring them to the Dis Jr dance show while she and stepdad do ToT and RnR? Or, you camp out in the Dumbo play area with the littles while they use FPs at SDMT and Space? Book your Epcot tier 1 as the Mickey M&G and send them to Test Track? Certainly, you know your kids and your limits. If you're sure that it wouldn't be safe for you to have them alone in the park, then so be it. But, I'm assuming you'll be rocking a pretty good double stroller for your trip. In my experience, kids that age will take long enough to eat a giant lollipop or Mickey Bar for her to have time to do bigger stuff without you having two kids running in opposite directions.

The OP posted this 13 years ago.

 

[TheOneWithTheTriplets]

The OP posted this 13 years ago.

Holy moly, I totally didn't see the dates. How did this get dug up from so long ago??

 

[lcc2]

What in the world?! Lol. I read through atleast 10 posts before I glanced at the dates!

 

[Meglen]

I want an update!!! Lol

 

[TheOneWithTheTriplets]

I want an update!!! Lol

Right? I wonder if OP got an email saying her watched thread was updated

 

[powellrj]

I want an update!!! Lol

She hasn’t been on the DIS in 4 years.

 

[Meglen]

She hasn’t been on the DIS in 4 years.

We'll always a good time to come back

 

[jo-jo]

But now we have to know if the baby (who is now 13) wants to stay home from family trips too.