Daycare rules?

[Disneyfanatic108]

My wife agreed to do daycare for her bestfriends son for the Summer. I think she felt bad that her friend is in the middle of a divorce and the daycare she had been using raised their weekly rate. So she told her that she would watch him for $60 less than the daycare per week. Bonus money for us, but an even better deal for her friend IMO. The boy she is watching is 7 years old and is good friends with both of our boys. He will be here M-F from 8-6. She has to feed him lunch and snacks.
Thing is, I don't think she is really ready for this. So I was hoping I could get some ideas for her from anyone who has run a daycare before.
On Parents- Payment schedule, rules, ect
On Children- Rules, schedule, boundries
I hate to say it, but I think she is in for a long Summer.

 

[rodeo65]

I have not run a daycare myself but my aunt and next door neighbor both have. I think you're right that she may be in for a long summer in that she may feel more awkward about setting rules and limitations for her friend. Hopefully not, but it can be a difficult position, especially if she is feeling badly for her friend and wants to help her out. She may find she "takes" more than she would from a regular "customer" and in turn could end up resentful if she feels taken advantage of.

I know that my neighbor is adamant about enforcing payment schedule and drop off / pick up times with her families. She treats it very professionally, and expects her families to be respectful of her and her time. She does not allow early drop off or late pick up unless requested in writing a minimum of a week in advance. She also strictly enforces pick up time (I understand this is often a problem in daycare situations). The problem I can see happening is that because they are friends and your boys are friends it could get kind of blurry as far as "well he can stay and hang out with the boys" if she's late. How does payment work then? You and she need to discuss what you are comfortable with / willing to accept in terms of going beyond a normal daycare situation. You also need to agree to any vacation time that you may want for just your family and make sure the friend is clear on this before the summer begins so she can make alternate arrangements.

There could be no problems at all. Maybe her friend will be so concerned about making sure she doesn't take advantage that she will be a model "customer". I hope this is the case.

I would recommend a contract of some kind between them dictating hours, payment (when it is due as well as amount) and details about extenuating circumstances.

As far as rules for the kids go, that will be up to your wife to determine. Her friends child will be staying in your home so follows the rules she sets forth. They need to be clearly laid out the first day so he understands that it is a different situation than a "play date".

Good luck with your summer!

 

[princessmom29]

I have never done in home care, but i did 4 years of summer camp for 6-10 year olds. Our basic rules were:
1. no dropoffs before X am
2. If you are late picking up you pay a late fee.
3. If you are not going to need care for a particular week you must let us know 2 weeks in advance or pay for the week.

for the kids:
1. Do not go ANYWHERE even to the bathroom without specifically telling a counsellor.
2. Respect for others and their property. (no hitting. name calling, ect, and always ask before touching anyone's stuff)
3. I am not a referee. I expect you to handle disputes by talking them out, ot running to me to ******* The exception is something unsafe or disrespectful to you or another camper.

 

[goofy4mykids]

My mom ran a home daycare when I was a child and I did it for a few years when I had my first child. Our top five rules were:

1. Any toy/item brought into the house MUST be shared..(If you dont want to share leave it home!)

2. Make Rules of the house and keep it simple. Disrespect, fighting, make the punishment the same for all even your kids. my mom made us write, 20-50 times... I will not fight with etc.... UGH! it was the worst!

3. Make sure they have things to do Idle hands get hurt!!

4. Have the Mom make a copy of her health insurance card and a note in case of an emergency!!! And that she can take said child in the car.

5. Have Fun!!! I attached a link for free summer movies...
http://www.regmovies.com/nowshowing/familyfilmfestivalschedule.aspx

 

[ilandrazdsw]

Mom & teacher here:
Make sure the "camper's" mom has a copy of the rules
Hang a copy of the rule somewhere visable (and make sure the kids know the rule at the begining of "camp")
Treat YOUR children like "campers" too so all the kids follow the same rules and schedules
PLAN activities (at least one main activity a day) and if it is a "field trip" have a permission form from the child's parent (as well as insurance and emergency contact info that you should have on file at your house anyway)
If you "field trip" give plenty of notice (at least a week ahead of time) where you are going and the cost of the place/activity/food (and who is responsible for the cost)
Be prepared for the friends to get sick of each other...even the best of friends may have overload
Find out what movies/games are acceptable for the "camper"--don't want to show something you deem and appropriate that the other parent doesn't
Find out about any allergies or food restrictions
Meds--a Rx, allergy pills, tylenol??? What is ok to give for a headache?
Have a "camper's" journal that can go home every day for the parents to keep in contact about day's/weeks activities/behaviors
Establish a SICK POLICY--when will you not accept the child? Fever, vomiting, runny nose/sneezing??? The last you need is for it to go throught you house too.
How much advanced notice that a child will not be coming (due to vacation--so you can plan for any days you will not have the "Camper", illness--don't call before 7am)
Be upfront with everything and have as much in writing (especially with payment) as possible
Payment can be daily, weekly (Monday for the week or Friday at the end of the week), or every other week.
Have a positive attitude!!! This could be fun.

If you treat this a a summer camp, the first week let the kids make a camp name and decorate camp shirts. They can also make a list of desired activities they want to do/go for the "counselors" to choose from.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

Oh, also kid-proof and safety the house!!! Accidents happen and with another child in the house it may be best to put any breakables away for the summer.

 

[Mouse7116]

I actually enjoy this type of arrangement regarding daycare for my son. Granted he's only 8mos. She has 2 boys that are in school.

I don't know much about daycare rules but I know that I value my friendship with her and we had a frank talk about things before it began. We gave ourselves an out in case it didn't work for either one of us. I think that was really important. I didn't want her to feel overwhelmed and I know she didn't want to let me down. I made sure to provide her with everything so she didn't have any cost. I took over a tub of clothes, diapers, food, bottles, blankets, ointments, bath supplies, detergent in case she needed to do laundry and an extra car seat base. She had friends with extra baby gear and that saved me from having to buy duplicates or hauling lots of "stuff" every day or week.

I also figured that if you're paying for a daycare spot, that you may also have a day where your child isn't there but you still pay for the spot. So, we pay the same amount every week.

What I get out of it is one on one time for my son. She takes him with her when she goes to visit her family (whom I love) or errands or out to lunch or on school field trips with the boys. He's getting exposed to lots of different environments. Her neighbors also have children and they come to play with her boys and my son gets some socialization there as well. He often gets rocked to sleep and naps in her arms and she treats him as one of her own.

I would say, just be sure to set it up that if after a couple weeks you find that things aren't working that they talk to each other so other arrangements can be made. That can help save their friendship and may make things seem easier since she knows there will be an out if she needs it. If they are honest with their expectation about it, I would think that things should work out fine. At least it has for us so far and we've been doing this for 5 months.

Best of luck!

 

[disneyjunkie]

My wife agreed to do daycare for her bestfriends son for the Summer. I think she felt bad that her friend is in the middle of a divorce and the daycare she had been using raised their weekly rate. So she told her that she would watch him for $60 less than the daycare per week. Bonus money for us, but an even better deal for her friend IMO. The boy she is watching is 7 years old and is good friends with both of our boys. He will be here M-F from 8-6. She has to feed him lunch and snacks.
Thing is, I don't think she is really ready for this. So I was hoping I could get some ideas for her from anyone who has run a daycare before.
On Parents- Payment schedule, rules, ect
On Children- Rules, schedule, boundries
I hate to say it, but I think she is in for a long Summer.

Based on some the rules that have been suggested, I think she may end up losing a friend.

She isn't running a daycare. She’s helping out a friend.

 

[braydensmom]

I run a home daycare, and I think that a PP is right, I think your wife is going to lose a friend. I have a strict rule of not providing care for my friends...they will think you are being negative and demeaning if you mention a problem with thier child, they probably won't take you seriously, they won't act as though this is a daycare and will probably not follow the basic rules of dropping off and picking up on time. Plus, while you may think that this is extra money.
I find it a little odd that your wife is charging $60 less than the friends previous daycare provider. I can't really compare costs, as I am in Canada, but the price of an extra child in the house for the summer can be pretty costly. Food and activites cost money, and the pure lack of convience of your wife and children being able to go anywhere and do anything throughout the week is going to end up outweighing the few extra dollars that she makes each week by having the extra child around.

 

[braydensmom]

and 8-6 is a very long day...most daycare providers I know add an extra fee after 9 hours.
It will be a long summer

 

[LisaNJ25]

One thing to add is to consider any day trip she is planning and give notice to the mom if she is going to charge her for the trip.

I watch a friends 11 months old 4 days a week. For the summer I am watching another friends 6yo. I know its going to be a long summer lol.. I am trying to plan the weeks out. I will be taking advantage of the AMC free summer movies. I am going to have a crazy summer with a 16yo, 9yo, 6yo, 4yo, 3yo and 1yo.. Ahhhhhhhh

 

[pyrxtc]

I watched my neighbors DD last summer, she was 1 and my youngest was 4. They were stuck wiht no daycare since her spot wouldn't be ready til fall and her old daycare closed. I told them I would treat her like I do my own kids, that included travel, meals, trips, or whatever. They paid me what they paid their old daycare and I got to some spend some time with their DD. I had a lot of fun, their DD had a lot of fun and more importantly she was with someone they knew and trusted.

I think you should keep it friendly. tell her he will be part of the family for the summer and you expevct him to follow your rules. get specifics on drop off and pick up times and when you will get paid and then just let the boys have fun. Make sure the boy knows that your DS's will still play with other friends during the summer and will not always be there but it will give them all the space they need.

 

[StephMK]

Wow, I'm surprised by all of the negative replies. She could have a really wonderful summer w/an extra kid and help a friend at the same time. She knows her friend & the friend has used daycare before so there should be some sense of if your parenting/discipline styles mesh, if she's usually reliable, etc. If you don't think those match up, then yeah, it might be an issue.

Otherwise, I don't think there have to be a ton of rules for it to work out. I did b/a school care for awhile and maybe got lucky, but both families were great. I treated the kids like my own, they never took advantage of me, we communicated w/each other & my kids loved having extra playmates.

While they may get sick of each other, that could happen w/just the siblings anyway. I would suggest to her to plan out some structured time each day. I set up a home summer camp for my kids. Like the pp, they made a camp name, decorated shirts & have a daily calendar of events. There is a weekly theme, reading, game, outdoor play, math/science time, etc. Free time in the middle of the day then more activities in the afternoon. Google any subject and lesson/activity and she'll get lots of ideas.

My kids are big into parks right now & there are some online Jr. Ranger programs. A kids' tour of the FBI, lots of cool stuff once you start looking!

 

[disykat]

I'm with the "treat him like a member of the family" group. I don't think all daycare rules need to be enforced, but some rules do need to be established.

When I was a SAHM I occasionally did this type of thing on a short term basis with no issues. Set the price, set the time, set the basic rules, and then have then have him join the family.

Providing childcare to one extra child is not the same as doing daycare. You just take him along on all your stuff. That means YOU also have to commit to being home at drop off and pick up times, but in general you can keep doing stuff like grocery shopping and errands, reading time at the library, trips to the local pool, etc. - things you wouldn't be able to do with a herd of kids.

 

[mareed]

I'm with the "treat him like a member of the family" group. I don't think all daycare rules need to be enforced, but some rules do need to be established.

When I was a SAHM I occasionally did this type of thing on a short term basis with no issues. Set the price, set the time, set the basic rules, and then have then have him join the family.

Providing childcare to one extra child is not the same as doing daycare. You just take him along on all your stuff. That means YOU also have to commit to being home at drop off and pick up times, but in general you can keep doing stuff like grocery shopping and errands, reading time at the library, trips to the local pool, etc. - things you wouldn't be able to do with a herd of kids.

I think this is right on! We're doing a similar thing with DS10 this year that instead of going to daycare, he's going to stay with a neighbor who also has a 10 year old son, and the 2 kids play together really well regularly. We've made agreement to things like hours, payment (check each week), etc. My neighbor plans to do regular things she would be like going to YMCA pool, some days at nearby beach with other family friends and my DS will go along on these outings. She's a SAHM, and I'm paying her the same rate my daycare would have been, but we won't pay her for the 4-5 weeks when we'll be out on various vacations during the summer.

I think our vacation breaks will be good for the 2 boys so they don't get too sick of each other. The vacation breaks are also clearly spelled out in our emails.

 

[BlueBayou]

It is funny to come across this thread tonight.

My kids are in summer school for June M-Thurs. They have day camp/daycare set up for rest of the summer. For the four Fridays in June - I was going to have my mother - who just moved to town - watch them. I had visions of it being a bonding time. Plus the kids would get to sleep in etc. Have a little bit of a lazy summer experience.

My mom, who moved out here because her health is declining, decided she is not physically able to do it. She can watch them in the evening - but the whole day is probably too much.

I could pay to send them to the day camp/daycare. But that would not give them the 'stay at home' summer experience I wanted for those four Fridays. I know it is probably silly - but those 4 'free' days were important to me.

I decided to place a call to a friend who has three kids, her two daughters are between my girls. She had watched a little boy after school this past year for a while.

She said yes. (We are in a babysitting co-op but and have watched each others kids before - our girls have had sleep-overs at each others homes - but this is outside that) She will not take money. She wants me to pack lunch for my kids... that is all. We will be making a donation to an organization she very actively involved in.

This is the first time I have every done any childcare when clear rules were not established. Actually - this is the first non-licensed experience for us.

Tomorrow is the first day. The kids are super excited.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Watching just one extra child in your home along with your own children isn't really running a day care. It is babysitting, which is much less formal.

I watched a friend's son for a year when he and my son were 4. As PPs have said they would do--we treated him like part of the family when he waswith us. We still did the same things we would have done otherwise: trips to the zoo, playgrounds, hikes, swimming, baking, painting, just playing, etc. I even, with full knowledge and consent of the parents, kept going to the gym three days a week and left both boys in the childcare there for an hour each time. I honestly DID try to keep them a little busier on the days we had "P" than I might have otehrwise (just trying to prevent the kids from getting to sick of each other).

The main detail we needed to iron out was who paid for trips out, meals out, etc. I didn't want to have to stop doing things with my kids but couldn't afford to pay for all--and they wanted "P" to get out and do htings but couldn't fun endless high end trips. We found my friend's had membership to the zoo and museum that we did as well. So, we went to one or the otehr each week and used their card for "P" and our card for my family (no one lost out $$wise). We agreed that "P"s family would send money for lunch out once a week instead of apcking a lunch. I looked for free or inexpensive acti vites (which I would do anyway) and asked htem if i saw something else I really thought all the kids would enjoy to see if htey felt it was worth the cost or not. They also learned of a few activites THEY saw and thougth the kids would enjoy and asked me if I would consider taking all the kids and they would pay for "P."

It was a good experience. In the end I really did not make much $$ as I did still spend on thigns for "P" that I just wanted to do for him and my kids that I didn't think it was fair to ask his parents to pay for. But I made a bit and it was a good place for him to be that year and most of the time my kids enjoyed having an extra "brother."

 

[Aliceacc]

Some basics that haven't been mentioned:

She'll want a paper authorizing emergency medical permission. If the boy falls and needs stitches, she (or you) will have to be able to sign for it in the event that mom is out of reach. LIkewise, she'll need written info on the pediatrician and any allergies.

She'll want to establish rules on playdates. If the boy's friend invites him over for a swim, is he allowed to go? Likewise, can one of his friends join in at your house? This isn't a typical daycare situation, it's your wife helping a friend. Your boys will inevitably have friends over.

Three is an ugly number when there are kids involved... someone is frequently left out. She'll have to be on the lookout for the signs of a problem.

If it were me, I would have the kids join the summer reading program at the library and mandate 30 minutes of reading time per day.

What about swimming? Is he a good swimmer? I'm assuming that your own kids have access to a pool or lake or something. This, and basic water safety, need to be discussed ahead of time.

When they go on a group outing--museum, McDonalds, whatever, make sure that the mom knows well in advance so she can set the money aside.

 

[Avonlady1001]

I didn't read all the replies yet, but wanted to share my experience. I did "day care" as in I watched my niece. I charged my sister a very reasonable rate of $40/day. I provided all food.

Definitely treat the child like a member of the family...I'm not concerned w/ day care "rules", but the same rules that apply to your own children should apply to your guest.

My main concern in their friendship. It's a win-win situation, no doubt about that. There are things that your wife & friend need to discuss first, though. These things came up w/ my sister & it was always very awkward when they did b/c we didn't think of them before hand.

One was when my sister left work early, or worked 1/2 day, she didn't think she should pay me. I wanted to be paid for my time worked...1/2 day = 1/2 pay. We argued about that.

When she would call me last minute in the morning & say she called in & wouldn't be bringing niece over. She was still getting paid for the day by her company, I thought I should be too. We argued about that.

The problem was that instead of thinking of me as her daycare provider doing a job, she thought she was doing me a favor by paying me. In reality we were doing each other a favor...God only knows what she would have payed a real daycare. She wouldn't have been able to afford it.

I wanted to treat the whole thing like a business arrangement & try to keep the family/friend thing out of it. I was her daycare provider & she was my client. She wanted perks b/c I was family. Turned out she was angry I was charging her at all. She thought I should do it as a favor. LOL I have 2 children of my own to take care of...I'll tell you after I decided to stop watching my niece, things were a bit strange between us for a while....

Anyway...my advice is to think of any situation that may come up in advance & discuss it early on. Your wife's friend has dealt w/ a "real" daycare already so many of these things shouldn't be an issue. They should be expected. But to save the friendship...

 

[connie1042]

I run a In Home Daycare. I have for 35 years. I am now watching the kids that my first group of kids had. It is amazing how fast they grow up, and have kids and I never get older! I have many low income families. The county pays for some, but each family has a co-pay. Sometimes I see it , sometimes I don't. All my parents know my rules. If she tells her friend the rules that she has set up, there should be no problem. I guess I have an advantage, because some of the kids, act just like their mom or dad did when they were in my daycare. Just make sure you have who can and can not pick him up. If she is going through a divorce, can the father pick him up.? If there are no papers from the courts,stating that, you can not stop the father from taking the child. If this is a nasty divorce, he could come and get the kid just to make the mom mad. Good luck and have fun.