Daycare - Help please!!

[KristinU]

First, I apologize to the OP that this thread had gotten so OT.

I just had to weigh in on this...

As if that Director with the Masters Degree has anything to do with a child's stay in the facility. She is only there to bring in people and money...oh yes...and to sign documents.

Perhaps my DS's center is a one of a kind with a gem of a director and staff (and, yes, it is a chain). But the director is not only involved with my DS in the center, she also is involved in stuff at home. For instance, our DS is in the midst of potty training and is not leaving his jammies and pull-up on at night...a big frustration for me with changing wet sheets every night! So I mention this to her in passing at a pick-up last week (and she's almost always out and about at the center, chatting with parents and kids and getting lots of hugs). She took the time then to chat with me and offer to talk to DS, since sometimes a request coming from another adult role-model has more impact than mom or dad. She talked right then to DS, in a very friendly manner of course. It worked! And she's been following up with us and him and DS often is excited to let her know how he did the night before - and she's not bothered in the least to spend a few minutes telling him how proud she is. Now, she is a grandma herself and adores the kids...and like I said, maybe we hit the jackpot because I know the director of any establishment or department sets the tone and level of care and professionalism (I see that in my office)...but I just felt that I needed to defend directors because your statement is harsh and generalized and is definitely not the case at our center. I know I can talk to our director (or assistant director for that matter) about anything, no matter how big or small, and that she'll give her honest opinion and caring assistance to us and the situation.

I think I need to go write her a letter telling her how wonderful we think she is!

 

[crisi]

No, you aren't alone. We've been quite content with the quality of care we've gotten from the staff at our center over the past nearly eight years. Several staffers have been there since before we had kids. The center director is very involved. Not every teacher is a "gem" but the good have outnumbered the not good - and I can only think of one that was bad - and she didn't last the day before they fired her.

There are certainly good home daycares, and home daycares run by moms who need extra money but whose motivation is to stay at home with their own kids and yours are simply a means to that end. And there are good centers with good staffs, and bad centers with high turnover and people who work there because it paid $.25 more an hour than McDonalds.

 

[Lisa_Belle]

Not arguing one bit. The high fees do not go to the teachers and aides who do all of the work (and are the reason parents stay, or move on to another facility), but to the management, and to the fancy building which are use to bring in more money. These places (most, anyway) are in business to make a profit. Providing a service is secondary with a very few exceptions. And I know that the teachers/aides often love the children dearly. I was a director for Kindercare for a couple of years while I was getting my Masters. There were many hard lessons about doing what was right, or what was dictated down the ranks.

That being the case, we hired an individual with a child of her own, and paid very well for exceptional child care. She had no other duties in our home but to interact with the kids. She taught them french, and the piano basics, just because it was fun!

BTW, the people who justify biting are the parents of a biter. Because most children do not bite.

Yes you ARE arguing - quite a lot! You seem to think all daycare is bad.
While your situation obviously works well for you, please remember that it is not best solution for everyone. My daughter, for instance, would be miserable with a babysitter. She is very social and prefers the company of other children. Mine may not have piano instruction (the music teachers I've spoken with said there's no need to have formal piano until a child is at least 5 or 6), she can speak Spanish, count to 1,000, knows all her colors, her alphabet, can read, do basic addition and subtraction, knows how to do imaginative play, choreographs her own little dances, does forward rolls and cartwheels, gets along with EVERY child in her classes, potty trained just before age 2, and is a happy go-lucky kid that all her teachers and classmates enjoy being around. And did I mention she is only 4? She has been around enough kids to know there is a biter/hitter/kicker/bully in every bunch and that you just have to learn how to deal with other children. She gets along with kids her age, is gentle playing with kids younger than she is and isn't shy around older kids. Her teachers continually say she is one of the smartest, well-adjust kids they have ever had. Apparently daycare hasn't been a bad choice for her.

 

[noodleknitter]

Yes you ARE arguing - quite a lot! You seem to think all daycare is bad.
While your situation obviously works well for you, please remember that it is not best solution for everyone. My daughter, for instance, would be miserable with a babysitter. She is very social and prefers the company of other children. Mine may not have piano instruction (the music teachers I've spoken with said there's no need to have formal piano until a child is at least 5 or 6), she can speak Spanish, count to 1,000, knows all her colors, her alphabet, can read, do basic addition and subtraction, knows how to do imaginative play, choreographs her own little dances, does forward rolls and cartwheels, gets along with EVERY child in her classes, potty trained just before age 2, and is a happy go-lucky kid that all her teachers and classmates enjoy being around. And did I mention she is only 4? She has been around enough kids to know there is a biter/hitter/kicker/bully in every bunch and that you just have to learn how to deal with other children. She gets along with kids her age, is gentle playing with kids younger than she is and isn't shy around older kids. Her teachers continually say she is one of the smartest, well-adjust kids they have ever had. Apparently daycare hasn't been a bad choice for her.

Actually, I said that I wasn't arguing with the gal I quoted. She stated low salaries as being a reason for high turnover, and I fully agree with her. Unfortunately, the real workers in the daycare arena are not the ones profitting from the high costs. So they leave for better paying jobs. Do you disagree with that?

It is great that your daughter is doing well. Good for you. She sounds like quite a little prodigy. That doesn't make all other choices crap, though, as Catty was saying. There are serious issues with institutionalizing children, that no experts can ignore. The primary being the lack of consistency in care-givers as well as the lack of training. It is foolish to not see the bad as well as the good, so that one can make an educated guess rather than numbly following a pack. Don't you agree?

I will risk mine not knowing that there is an abusive kid in every pack and that the place that should be safe isn't in exchange for having to show her how to do a somersault myself. It is all about choices. You like yours, I like mine. Lucky, aren't we?

BTW, my favorite daycare story regards a woman I know who started the ultimate daycare. Highly trained, well-paid, loving, great facility... After 3 years she closed it down because she saw that even the best situation was in the end a detriment to the kids.

Arguing...or a lively conversation...call it what you want!

 

[noodleknitter]

Perhaps my DS's center is a one of a kind with a gem of a director and staff (and, yes, it is a chain).

I think I need to go write her a letter telling her how wonderful we think she is!

She sounds like a gem, and I bet she would love to hear someone tell her.

 

[jodifla]

Actually, I said that I wasn't arguing with the gal I quoted. She stated low salaries as being a reason for high turnover, and I fully agree with her. Unfortunately, the real workers in the daycare arena are not the ones profitting from the high costs. So they leave for better paying jobs. Do you disagree with that?

It is great that your daughter is doing well. Good for you. She sounds like quite a little prodigy. That doesn't make all other choices crap, though, as Catty was saying. There are serious issues with institutionalizing children, that no experts can ignore. The primary being the lack of consistency in care-givers as well as the lack of training. It is foolish to not see the bad as well as the good, so that one can make an educated guess rather than numbly following a pack. Don't you agree?

I will risk mine not knowing that there is an abusive kid in every pack and that the place that should be safe isn't in exchange for having to show her how to do a somersault myself. It is all about choices. You like yours, I like mine. Lucky, aren't we?

BTW, my favorite daycare story regards a woman I know who started the ultimate daycare. Highly trained, well-paid, loving, great facility... After 3 years she closed it down because she saw that even the best situation was in the end a detriment to the kids.

Arguing...or a lively conversation...call it what you want!

Welcome to life, where you have to deal with all kinds of people. But since you argue against public schools, too, it doesn't surprise me you see evil in daycare settings.

 

[noodleknitter]

Welcome to life, where you have to deal with all kinds of people. But since you argue against public schools, too, it doesn't surprise me you see evil in daycare settings.

Show me where my facts are wrong. Facts are so much more beneficial than snippy answers, don't you think? You chose not to address any issue but to make a personal remark. Interesting.

I merely stated that there are many options for childcare, including homecare, and home daycares, and that is a crime...i'm not living "real life." The idea that a degree makes a good care-giver has yet to be proven by anyone.

Your lack of logic confuses me.

 

[KristinU]

Facts are so much more beneficial than snippy answers, don't you think?

Your lack of logic confuses me.

Your lack of logic confuses me...to be honest, I found your response to Lisa Belle, saying "Your child is a little prodigy. Good for you." to be snippy as well. And your degree seems to give you license to judge others.

Like Crisi said, I think we all need to respect that different solutions work for different families and that no type of care can be generalized - there are pros and cons to every choice and the bottom line is that, barring the lunatics of the world, all parents are making the choices and decisions that we feel are the best for our families.

 

[jodifla]

Show me where my facts are wrong. Facts are so much more beneficial than snippy answers, don't you think? You chose not to address any issue but to make a personal remark. Interesting.

I merely stated that there are many options for childcare, including homecare, and home daycares, and that is a crime...i'm not living "real life." The idea that a degree makes a good care-giver has yet to be proven by anyone.

Your lack of logic confuses me.

I have a lack of logic?

At some point, your kids need to join the mainstream world. Without hand-picked friends and a controlled environment. They need to be able to make their own choices, including some bad ones.

Keeping them out of "institutional" settings until they are 16 or 18 or 20 doesn't offer them much in the way of practice. Most kids are not so weak-willed and undisciplined that they will immediately take on every bad habit they see. Most parents use these run-ins with undesirable situations as teaching moments.

I used a daycare center because I liked their curriculum, dependability and play areas. The center I used had teachers who'd been around for years. My DS's teacher had been there 10 years, in fact. I don't know if she had a degree, but I know my son was crazy about her and they had a lot of fun together, which I was mainly looking for at that age. If I found the right home care setting I might use that too, but I was put off by the lack of other kids my son's age, and they fact there might only one adult around five or six kids. Didn't seem that safe to me.

 

[WDWorBUST]

Yikes!! In no way did I mean to get this conversation started. I feel I have been blessed to have had my mom watch my child from the moment I went back to work. When I faced a difficult situation I came here - to a "community" I feel comfortable asking for opinions that I know I will get a lot of different ones and take what applies to me and leave the rest. It has been very informative and caused me to think of things I might not have otherwise. But I'm sorry it has started the debate it has. It's been said before - we all need to remember that what works for some families doesn't for others - we are all different with different desires and needs. That's what truly makes this message board great!!

 

[jodifla]

Yikes!! In no way did I mean to get this conversation started. I feel I have been blessed to have had my mom watch my child from the moment I went back to work. When I faced a difficult situation I came here - to a "community" I feel comfortable asking for opinions that I know I will get a lot of different ones and take what applies to me and leave the rest. It has been very informative and caused me to think of things I might not have otherwise. But I'm sorry it has started the debate it has. It's been said before - we all need to remember that what works for some families doesn't for others - we are all different with different desires and needs. That's what truly makes this message board great!!

Yes, sorry, OP! Looks like you've got a handle on it. Good luck with the rest of the summer.

(P.S. For what it's worth, it takes about a week for my DS to really like something new, like swimming lessons or a new school setting. He'll complain mightily for the first five times or so, then it's like a switch has been flipped, and all of a sudden he's running into the lesson or class I had to drag him into kicking and screaming before! Not sure if your DD is like that, you know her best. But I always give everything at least a week with DS.)

 

[noodleknitter]

I have a lack of logic?

At some point, your kids need to join the mainstream world. Without hand-picked friends and a controlled environment. They need to be able to make their own choices, including some bad ones.

Keeping them out of "institutional" settings until they are 16 or 18 or 20 doesn't offer them much in the way of practice. Most kids are not so weak-willed and undisciplined that they will immediately take on every bad habit they see. Most parents use these run-ins with undesirable situations as teaching moments.

I used a daycare center because I liked their curriculum, dependability and play areas. The center I used had teachers who'd been around for years. My DS's teacher had been there 10 years, in fact. I don't know if she had a degree, but I know my son was crazy about her and they had a lot of fun together, which I was mainly looking for at that age. If I found the right home care setting I might use that too, but I was put off by the lack of other kids my son's age, and they fact there might only one adult around five or six kids. Didn't seem that safe to me.

You do know you are fighting a different battle...one that was over weeks ago. I just came in to refute that all is gold in the daycare center world and crap with home daycares. There are good and bad points about all. It is all about choices. Not about whether or not I like schools!

 

[crisi]

You do know you are fighting a different battle...one that was over weeks ago. I just came in to refute that all is gold in the daycare center world and crap with home daycares. There are good and bad points about all. It is all about choices. Not about whether or not I like schools!

No one SAID all was gold in the daycare world and crap in home daycares. People said home daycare didn't meet their needs and they preferred centers.

From what I know of the home daycare business, at least in our state, you may be better off financially in a center. Several of my daycare's staff left their home daycare for the center, where they get benefits, don't have the fluctuations in income, don't have the hassle of licensing and their overhead costs are covered. They feel they do better in a corporate run center.

We've had staff leave our center to go do the nanny thing. Apparently the nanny business, if you find one that pays benefits, is a better option.

 

[noodleknitter]

Originally Posted by Crisi

""No one SAID all was gold in the daycare world and crap in home daycares. People said home daycare didn't meet their needs and they preferred centers.""


Originally Posted by AllyCatTapia

""I highly reccommend a center and wouldn't even CONSIDER putting my child in a home. Centers have trained, certified lead teachers and administrators...home daycares are generally other moms. They are cheaper though, but...watch out- you get what you pay for.""

 

[suffolkprincess]

ITA! ESPECIALLY if you are in a hurry. I used a home care that could NOT have been more highly recommended (my *mother* trained the caregiver when my mother was a preschool director, she was a church friend of my parents, lived around the corner from them, etc) and we had a few problems that would just not have happened in a more regulated environment. My DD did fine, but still... I am very happy with the "school" (a center, but it bills itself as a school and strives to be an educational experience) I found. It was very easy to check it out online with the licesing folks as well as the health dept. and of course I checked with parents. We had to find something with short notice, too, and I just coulnd't feel confident with a home.

ETA: not trying to restart the battle (posted without reading everything-- guilty! ) my main thing to emphasize is that I found it much easier to thoroughly check out a school when I had little time to find daycare. I used to BE a nanny (live in and live out) and feel that it is by far the best solution (especially if its a nanny as great as I was ) but I can't afford a nanny like me!

 

[noodleknitter]

It seems odd to me that it is ok to list the problems of homecaregivers, but not to list those of institutions.

The Dis is so weird sometimes.

 

[Nanu57v]

I did pay an enrollment fee - and I am paying this week and offered to pay next week. Like I told the center....I don't want this to be a bad thing for them because I really appreciated them working with me to begin with. The director told me not to pay next week that it was fine.

I would've done the same thing. When families are responsible (not just skip town), its nice to be able to work with them for the best situation.

As if that Director with the Masters Degree has anything to do with a child's stay in the facility. She is only there to bring in people and money...oh yes...and to sign documents.

This really hurts. As a daycare director of a facility with 61 children, I sincerely believe I do have a lot to do with a child's care at our center. I spend two hours each morning working in the classrooms, and check in throughout the day to assist in the the care. I accompany on all the field trips (3x a week) and daily help change diapers, serve lunch, hold a crying baby, read a book to a preschooler, etc. And yes, I do have to handle advertising, interviewing, paperwork and grant writing. So much so that I have to usually work about 50 hours a week for my "highly paid" job.

The high fees do not go to the teachers and aides who do all of the work (and are the reason parents stay, or move on to another facility), but to the management, and to the fancy building which are use to bring in more money.

My lowest paid employee started at $6 an hour, and gets paid for every hour she works. I (as director) started at $14,560 a year ($7 an hour). Obviously not a huge difference. And the teachers who do "all the work" don't put in 10 hours of unpaid overtime weekly for their 'highly paid' job. Yes, all our staff is hard-working and caring, including myself. And NONE of us are highly paid.

 

[jodifla]

I would've done the same thing. When families are responsible (not just skip town), its nice to be able to work with them for the best situation.




This really hurts. As a daycare director of a facility with 61 children, I sincerely believe I do have a lot to do with a child's care at our center. I spend two hours each morning working in the classrooms, and check in throughout the day to assist in the the care. I accompany on all the field trips (3x a week) and daily help change diapers, serve lunch, hold a crying baby, read a book to a preschooler, etc. And yes, I do have to handle advertising, interviewing, paperwork and grant writing. So much so that I have to usually work about 50 hours a week for my "highly paid" job.



My lowest paid employee started at $6 an hour, and gets paid for every hour she works. I (as director) started at $14,560 a year ($7 an hour). Obviously not a huge difference. And the teachers who do "all the work" don't put in 10 hours of unpaid overtime weekly for their 'highly paid' job. Yes, all our staff is hard-working and caring, including myself. And NONE of us are highly paid.

Thanks for the background and your input! I found the staff of my daycare center to be truly wonderful, too.

 

[crisi]

Originally Posted by Crisi

""No one SAID all was gold in the daycare world and crap in home daycares. People said home daycare didn't meet their needs and they preferred centers.""


Originally Posted by AllyCatTapia

""I highly reccommend a center and wouldn't even CONSIDER putting my child in a home. Centers have trained, certified lead teachers and administrators...home daycares are generally other moms. They are cheaper though, but...watch out- you get what you pay for.""

Perhaps I'm a little more leinent in my interpretation. HER NEEDS are for trained and certifed teachers and administrators. And therefore, she wouldn't consider a home and recommends centers to others - we all make recommendations to others based on our own needs - few of us are able to stand back from ourselves enough to seperate our own needs from others.

 

[KristinU]

Thanks for the background and your input! I found the staff of my daycare center to be truly wonderful, too.

Ditto this! Nanu57v - it sounds like your families are blessed with the same wonderful care from you that we are blessed with at our center with our director and her staff. And if you don't hear it daily - I'm sure you are very appreciated by your parents!!!