Daughter not falling asleep..any advice?

[Minnie824]

My daughter is 8 and normally a good sleeper. Usually takes her a little bit to go to sleep but we have our routine down and eventually she'll fall asleep. So around Thanksgiving, she started having issues falling asleep. That Saturday night last week, she was up until 11:30 (normal bedtime is 8:30, that night she actually went to be at 9:30). Now, I understand you can't make someone sleep, and if she just is up quietly, fine. But she would call us every 2 minutes saying "I can't sleep, I can't sleep" then she'd need water or her pillow fixed or her blanket fixed and she kept looking at her clock. She has never had issues like this. We talked to her asked her if something was bothering her, or having dreams and she said no. So I thought maybe its just that shes sleeping in too late (9:30ish) so I made her get up on Sunday with her alarm clock at 7am and read quietly. Didn't matter...Sunday night she was up whining and complaining again. Before she even got in bed, she says, I'll be up past 9pm but maybe asleep by 10.

It is just so frustrating. The only other thing I can think of is they have standardized tests starting today, that maybe she's nervous about? Its not really a huge deal, but its been talked about alot lately. Other than that it seems like she's just trying to get attention, but gets herself all worked up over going to sleep. She even said what if I can't sleep all night. I don't know though. Does anyone have any advice on how to help her fall asleep?

 

[MsLeFever]

A nice hot bath with lavender? (Bath and Body works makes a great "sleepy" bubble bath). That usually works for my kids.

 

[mjkacmom]

I've found that with my kids, 2 nights with benadryl gets them right back into a normal sleep schedule.

 

[golfgal]

I would tell her that every once in a while people have problems getting to sleep and that she still needs to go to bed on time and read. Tell her you don't want her calling for water or for your attention after bedtime. She can't calm her body down if she is yelling to you every 2 minutes. Give that a few nights and see if it helps. Chances are she is going through a growth spurt or something that is throwing her natural body clock off. I would continue to wake her at a reasonable time in the morning though.

 

[happygirl]

My daughter does the same thing we have found if we ignore her. Don't get her a drink or go in there everytime she hollars at us. She will go back to bed on her own. Don't get me wrong she gets a drink before she goes to bed and all that fun stuff but when it bed time, We are done for the night. Unless it something that she really really needs.

 

[lovesmurfs]

I would make sure she's not playing video games or watching TV for 1-2 hours before bed. The light flashes are stimulating and affect kids' ability to fall asleep.

 

[briannesmom]

I would take the clock out of her room for a while. It will be one less distraction for her. I know I drive myself crazy sometimes looking at the clock every five minutes when I can't sleep.

 

[kacaju]

it was a Holiday weekend was she eating/drinking stuff that has caffeine in it??
She could be nervous about her tests as well.

 

[paintnolish]

My dd has trouble going to bed sometimes, but it's nothing new to us. SHe's always been a pain about bedtime and a poor sleeper, even when she was a baby. Do you think she would read with a book light or listen to music in bed? Or maybe she'd like a special new night light or lighted fountain (it is so relaxing to listen to)?

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

for me setting a sleep position helps. For me I have to sleep on my stomach with my arms crossed. Now any time I lay like this I get tired and fall asleep.

 

[disneygals]

I used to do this "jello thing" with my kids. I would talk very softly and tell them that a body part, starting with toes and up to head, was like jello and totally relaxed. When they were older they could use it to relax their body on their own.

I have 3 girls and I noticed that around age 8-9 they start having bedtime "unspecified" anxiety. They might not have a specific thing bothering them, but a bunch rolled together to give them that heebie-jeebie feeling.

 

[ilovediznee]

Our pediatrician said to try Melatonin - a nature herb found with the vitamins - got mine at Wal-Mart. Give her the smallest dose and it promotes sleep and has really helped. I still have the bottle from almost a year ago - hasn't expired yet. If she can't sleep, has a test and needs rest, etc. - I gave her 1/2 tablet. Now that she is almost 10, I give her a whole one about 1 hour before bed. I do not give them to her every night, but you might want to give her one over a few nights and slowly decrease the dose so her body naturally wants to fall asleep.

Good luck - had the same thing and it was frustrating and tiring!

 

[Christine]

I would tell her that every once in a while people have problems getting to sleep and that she still needs to go to bed on time and read. Tell her you don't want her calling for water or for your attention after bedtime. She can't calm her body down if she is yelling to you every 2 minutes. Give that a few nights and see if it helps. Chances are she is going through a growth spurt or something that is throwing her natural body clock off. I would continue to wake her at a reasonable time in the morning though.

Good advice. Sometimes making too big of a deal about not falling asleep causes anxiety about falling asleep and then it sort of spirals. Vicious cycle. Tell her it happens sometimes, people hit rough patches with getting to sleep, and you just have to work through it. I agree that having her yell out and make requests is just making it worse.

 

[clarabelle]

Tell her if she doesn't get out of bed or call for you -you will come to her in 10 minutes. If she does call out -you will restart the clock for ten minutes from when she got up or called out. Keep making the times between visits longer and longer.

Some other ideas -there are guided meditations and ambient sleep music for children available on CD and for I-pod download.

I agree with pp that anxiety is not uncommon at this age. I think that kids start to realize their own mortality and fear for the safety of their loved ones.

We had to limit the weather channel with my DD when she was about 10 (around the time of Katrina) because of hurricane anxiety.

Talk to her and see if she can tell you something is bothering her.

These standarized tests are made such a big thing of at schools now days -maybe she is worried about it.

If you aren't limiting TV and video game time before bed -I would think about that too

 

[clutter]

I've found that with my kids, 2 nights with benadryl gets them right back into a normal sleep schedule.

OMG, you posted something yesterday, and I thought "She's my twin." Now I know for sure. I do the same thing.

 

[merekc]

We went through this over the summer with DS7. I think he was going through a growth spurt.

My first thought was also make sure she isn't drinking something with caffeine. Sometimes that can sneak in around the holidays and if she isn't use to it it could be giving her problems.

You might also consider giving her a dose of Iburophen during the evening. If she is going through a growth spurt she may be uncomfortable without really being able to pin point it.

All the tips so far have been good.

 

[Minnie824]

Thanks so much for all the advice so far! I'm definitely going to take some of these suggestions. I never thought of a growth spurt but that is a definite possibility..maybe I'll measure her when she gets home from school too.

 

[joyjoy]

Okay, my kid did the same thing at about that age and this is what worked for me. She had a large clock (like a giant wristwatch, but it doesn't matter) on the wall. Not digital, it had minute and hour hands. I told her to watch the big hand and if she was still awake at 9:15, when it was on the 3, she could get a drink or call for me. Watching that clock put her to sleep every time. It usually took about 7 minutes.

 

[Daisybelle]

My daughter has had sleep issues since she was little, on and off through the years. I think part of it is when she would go through a growth spurt and part of it was her body wasn't worn out enough. We started taking walks or doing a fitness video after dinner followed by a warm shower. This helped some. I also made her bed more snuggly by getting a down mattress topper and making her bed more like a day bed with pillows lining the side against the wall. This really helped because she could get good and snuggled in which helped her relax.
I hope she can rest well soon! I know it's hard on both you and her!

 

[JessicaR]

I've found that with my kids, 2 nights with benadryl gets them right back into a normal sleep schedule.

Unless Benadryl makes you jittery and works opposite. True and sad. I guess its hereditary cause it has the same effect on my dad, me, and one son.

My youngest had the same thing happen. I admit I gave him a placebo, told him it would help him sleep, and it did! Power of suggestion can be very helpful.