Daughter dating-what age and what curfew?

[HSMndLKfan92]

I didn't really have a set curfew until I started driving. Before that, we played it by ear. Now that I've started driving, it's usually 11:30. (Boyfriend drives me, and he can't legally drive past midnight, so my curfew gives him a chance to get home.)

 

[tzolkin]

we have'nt realy had to deal with the curfew issue yet, but for us it will definatly be situational. it will depend on where she's going, with whom (driving status) and to some extent the weather. we can get some insane driving conditions where we live, and given that we live in an area where cell phone coverage can, from street to street be spotty at best, we would'nt be agreeable to her being out terribly late if the visability was such we could'nt find her if the car broke down (and there's one rule that dh and i have with each other, that we would insist the kids follow-as a courtesy to the person who is sitting at home waiting for you, you let them know your travel plans and what route you will be using, that way if you don't show and your cell is not picking up the person at home has an idea of what roads/locations to start looking for you in case of a breakdown or accident).

These are my biggest concerns.

DH & I grew up in FL-- straight roads and good weather.

We now live in a rural/hilly area that gets 12+ feet of snow. I am terrified at the thought of my kids driving (or even worse-- riding) with other teens. There are many areas with no cell service, so I suppose they will have to check in when they have service so I know when to go out looking for them if they don't come home by a certain time. My oldest is only in 6th grade, but I'm really not looking forward to the teen years.


I did not have a curfew, but I really wasn't allowed to do much. I mostly went out with my best friend and we spent the night at each other's houses (even during the week), so if we were at her house we could stay out later. I usually did things after school. I don't think I was ever out past 10 on a weeknight and usually not even on a weekend. Maybe for something specific, but I could never just go out with friends and be home by curfew. This was not that long ago-- I'm under 30. I guess I just had very strict parents. (I also was never really allowed to go out on a date.)

I really can't imagine just giving my child a curfew as some others have mentioned where they could just go out where ever and be home by midnight. I would need to know what they were doing. Maybe I'm overly paranoid. Partly because my parents were so strict I lied and did a lot of stupid things as a teen. I just don't think I can let my kids have total freedom once they hit 16.

 

[dalt01]

What age do or will you let your daughter date and what is her curfew?

few years yet before I have to cross that bridge

it is not so much when you cross it as how because the same thing is waiting on the other side whether you embrace it or bristle at it.

 

[ckoncurat]

My daughter (now 13) is not allowed to date until 16. I don't know about a curfew though- neither my DH or I ever had one, we just told our parents where we were going and agreed to a specific time to be home.

 

[dimimi]

What age do or will you let your daughter date and what is her curfew?

I was reading the thread about going to the movies and was just wandering.
Right now my DD is 15, she will be 16 in 2 weeks. Her curfew is 10pm. She thinks its lame, I might bump it up to 10:30 when she turns 16. Just curious

Our son is 16 and doesn't have a curfew. When he drives...the law...says he must be home by midnight. He always is home well before midnight.

We decide on the time he needs to be home on where he is going. If he is going to a friend's house...with parents there...and other kids...home by midnight is fine.

If they go to a movie, we know what he will be doing after the movie. He has to tell us where he is at all times. He doesn't like that, but that is the way it is. I figure if he can text his friends 1000 times a day He can text me too!

 

[Disney Doll]

My curfew at 16 was generally 11PM unless there was some special occasion then it was "discussed". I have to say that my parents were generally pretty fair.

 

[kafitty]

10:30 on weeknights and 12:30 on weekends, if i remember correctly.

NOT that my experience is like anyone else's, but i was always so mad that i couldn't stay out any later with my friends. i always felt like i had to leave whenever the party was *just* starting. And yeah, i was a party-er and a bit of a punk, but we never really got into too much trouble. Now, as a 23 year-old, sometimes i feel like i stay out too late too often, because i'm trying to make up for all the times i DIDN'T get to be there. i wonder if i would be a little less apt to stay out all crazy hours had i just been able to get it out of my system as a teen...

 

[Momvic5]

My curfew at 16 was generally 11PM unless there was some special occasion then it was "discussed". I have to say that my parents were generally pretty fair.

This is pretty much how it was in my home too.

I had a curfew, but it wasn't a free for all -(go and do what you want, just be home by 11:00 curfew) - it was just a time that I was to use as a guideline for my plans - my plans always had to be discussed and depending on my plans, my curfew could be moved up or extended.

 

[PatsMom]

My daughter didn't really have a curfew. She would tell us where she was going and with who and we would agree on a time for her to be home. She was expected to call if plans changed. She was not a partier - she is Straight Edge all the way. For those not familiar with Straight Edge, they abstain from alcohol and drugs. Adherents feel the clean life style gives them an edge over those who use chemicals. So we did not have to worry about drinking or drugs - if anyone around was doing either, she would call for her ride home (before she got her license) or leave on her own. She never tended to stay out late - if she was doing dinner after a movie with friends it might be 11 or 11:30 depending on the time of the movie. I thought those self imposed times were reasonable for high school.

She didn't really date either but I think I would have been OK with it starting somewhere between 15 and 16. She went out with a few boys, but never had a steady boyfriend. Mostly she just did things with a group mixed of boys and girls.

 

[cheermom1]

I set mine at 12 however they have to tell me where they are going and who they will be with..but I have a really good dd, she went on a date this past weekend and they didn't like the movie and they came home around 11 instead and just hung out here...and if they are going to be last she has to call me...now this is the weekend ..we have a little restaurant with a pool table and I will let them go down there sometimes but I don't let them out till 10 during the week day... I think a few hours hanging with their friends is good when they go down there ...plus it is only like 5 blocks from the house or so...But most of the time they come home b4 they have too they say it is boring...LOL...

I agree that 10:30 is lame ..set to what they are doing and how long it will take...that is a good idea...

of course I have called my dd to come pick me up when her date has gone bad..she will text me and I'll call and she will tell her date that mom needs me..LOL

oh I forgot to say that I let them start dating at 16 group date at 14 ...

 

[Andrea from PA]

My 14 year old son goes out on dates til midnight. His GF is 16.

For now, I am in the camp of no curfew, BUT neither kid in my case is driving, so some dates are parents going along with them to concerts or them getting dropped off at the movies. If they can't get into the early movie then it is a 9 pm show getting over at 11 pm - again with an adult picking them up. Most times it is just hanging out at each other's house with a few friends and adult supervision.

We live 45 minutes away from the girl, so add drive time.

My son knows he is not allowed to have other kids drive him.

I agree that 10:30 is too early - but again situational - our school dances don't get over until 11.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I only have one teenager right now so I am still learning but she has to be in by 11:00. She also can't go out during the week past 8:00. We live in a very small town so there is nothing to do here anyway but get into trouble.
I always had to be in by 11:30. I can remember having to be in at 11:30, the night before my wedding!

 

[golfgal]

I only have one teenager right now so I am still learning but she has to be in by 11:00. She also can't go out during the week past 8:00. We live in a very small town so there is nothing to do here anyway but get into trouble.
I always had to be in by 11:30. I can remember having to be in at 11:30, the night before my wedding!

Can't she go to events at the high school? Isn't she involved in any activities herself?