Darned if I do, and darned if I don't! (Teacher Vent)

[DVC Jen]

I'm sorry.

All we can do is our best.. and even if that doesn't always please the parents we know in our hearts we are doing the right thing.

I hope you have a better day today.

 

[mickeyboat]

A great big thanks from a parent just learning the "school" ropes. I am sure there are many of us who cause a lot of trouble for you, but remember there are many of us who are trying to figure it all out and be the kind of parents who help foster their kids' education, instead of making things difficult for you.

I sent my DD to school today complaining of an upset stomach - no fever, vomiting, etc. I asked her to give it a try. Usually she bounces right back once she gets to school, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if I get a call today. And I would drive to school as fast as my little minivan could get me there. I trust that her teacher would be able to judge whether she was just feeling a little under the weather, or whether she was really getting sick.

Good luck and hugs for all you do.

Denae

 

[Bella the Ball 360]

OH and do not forget that through all of this thanks to our illustrious president you need to make ayp too. All students will score 100% in reading and math by the year 2014!! That is totally unattainable and unrealistic but it is just another way to make teachers look bad

I am SO sick of teacher bashing. You are dammed if you do and dammed if you don't. I always send them to the nurse and tough if she does not like it we have two and that is what they are there for. As to the head lice how would the other parents feel if they knew their kid was exposed to lice and no one did anything all day. That is just NOT an option as far as I am concerned.

You are right about the parents who try to manufacture problems..."what he got a b+ but he is an a student can I have him tested he might have a learning disability" OR even worse the parent who thinks YOU are the sole educator of his/her child. No parental involvment. I got a note that said 4 days into school "_________did not learn how to read last year and he better learn it this year." WEll ________has a severe learning disability but _________did not do the summer work which would have helped keep him current and ______________did not read a book all summer and ________'s mother did not sit and help practice his words each night.

I will say I would NEVER tell my kids to be teachers. We get bashed, we have impossible demands heaped upon us (ayp) and the majority of parents (at least in my school) do not even try to help their kids with support.

It is often a thankless job that goes without saying but really you do not need to thank me just do not bash me.

 

[cardaway]

Does it seem sometimes that teaching would be a lot easier if all kids were orphans?

 

[PneumaticTransit]

Just to let you know, I was looking at my former school's website and I e-mailed a few of my teachers to let them know to keep up the good work and give them an update on me.

They all e-mailed me back the same day and let them know how happy they were to hear from me and that I brightened their day!

So hang in there! In twenty years you could be getting e-mails from lil-johnny-wets-his-pants thanking you for everything you did!

 

[BrerMom]

I got smart this year. I tend to read the boards more when I'm really tired - and conference week is one of the worst - and then I feel grumpy when I read about "those lousy teachers." I forced myself not to read parent complaints here this week because I always feel a need to defend the profession even if I don't actually post.

This year, the best comment was from the parents of one of my kiddos that really has to work to get the good grades she does. Mom reported that her DD had said after the percentage unit, "OK, now I understand why you don't want to use the credit card." The Dad has been asking DD to figure the tip in restaurants and is pleased she can do it. These are the conferences that can make me smile for a long time. And then there was the poor mom that said I should be flattered that her son was turning in 60% of the homework; my class was the only class he had turned in any homework at all. She'd had a rough night and had been obviously crying by the time she got to me.

I'm finding the new technology is having interesting results. For example, a parent in our district can know by the hour if their child is tardy or absent in the class. A parent can also see when their child has been sent to In-School Suspension - before someone in the office calls to tell them. One parent told me that he called his wife and told her, "Honey, there's a problem. Junior has been in ISS for two hours already!" I asked a student to go to the office this week (the first one in over two years, because usually I get better results by dealing with it myself). Instead of reporting to the office, the student called her mom. I had an email requesting an explanation before the bell rang for the end of her class. I was pleasantly surprised that mom was 100% supportive after she heard some facts. That reminds me, I need to send an email to the mom. The kid was an angel today.

 

[Blondy876]

I hear you. I am actually contemplating a career change because of the issues you mentioned + issues with the district and state requirements actually going against each other. There is no way to win.

 

[teacherforhi]

On the first day of school, I had one parent tell me "don't call me if she's sick - I'm not coming to get her until the end of the day". Greaaaat. So, what am I supposed to do w/her while she's puking up a storm!? Yes, I realize that Mom and Dad work ... but who is going to be complaining when I'm out sick b/c I caught it from their child?! That parent!!! I was out b/c of an appendectomy for 2 weeks. When I came back on Mon., this parent did nothing but complain to me that I was out sick. Uh -- it wasn't like I took 2 weeks off to go on vacation (I wish) -- this was no vacation! I had major surgery and, believe me, it was the last thing I wanted to do. Fortunately, I had a great guest teacher and left her complete, written out, pre-planned lesson plans with all the materials that she needed. Honestly, w/the lesson plans I left, a 5th grader could have come in and taught the class -- I was very "step by step, do this, do that". I wanted to tell the parent to be thankful that I left precise lesson plans and that their child didn't sit and watch videos all day long. But, no, I got a talking to for my absence. My principal was far more understanding than this parent was. And, yes, I notified all the parents prior to my surgery, informed them that it was unexpected and that it was as much as an inconvenience to me as it was to my classroom and students. Believe me, I don't like missing a day much less 2 weeks!!! I suppose the only way that parent would have been happy was if I had come back right after I was released from the hospital!

I feel your pain on this one. I'm having knee surgery on December 20th. I wouldn't need knee surgery except I tripped on a chair that one of my students placed behind me. I'm waiting till that late in December so that I only miss three days of school and then have a week of Christmas break to recover.

However, I actually got a phone call from THAT CHILD'S parent complaining that I'll be out for those three days and that she doesn't think that it's fair that I'll be taking an 'extra long vacation'! Excuse me? I'm having my knee re-aligned...not going to the Bahamas. Not to mention the fact that I wouldn't need the surgery at all if her child had been in his seat like he was supposed to be instead of trying to rearrange the furniture...

 

[Blondy876]

I feel your pain on this one. I'm having knee surgery on December 20th. I wouldn't need knee surgery except I tripped on a chair that one of my student's placed behind me. I'm waiting till that late in December so that I only miss three days of school and then have a week of Christmas break to recover.

However, I actually got a phone call from THAT CHILD'S parent complaining that I'll be out for those three days and that she doesn't think that it's fair that I'll be taking an 'extra long vacation'! Excuse me? I'm having my knee re-aligned...not going to the Bahamas. Not to mention the fact that I wouldn't need the surgery at all if her child had been in his seat like he was supposed to be instead of trying to rearrange the furniture...

You know these stories remind me of a parent I had last year before I went on maternity leave. School started on Sept 6 and my leave began on the 19(I was out the remainder of the year). My sub. started the school year with us so she could get to know the routine, and the kids and vice versa.

Well at the back to school night I introduced her to the parents and explained that she would be in for the remainder of the year as I was going out on leave. Several parents started complaining and one actually had the nerve to tell me that I should have planned the pregnancy better so as not to interfere with the school year. I was so stunned that I stood there silent for a moment. I then explained to the group of parents that I had in fact tried to plan the pregnancy around the school year but that I had miscarried that child. Through tears I apologized that the death on my baby was such an inconvenience to them. Not my best teacher moment. (ahhhhh hormones)

 

[m&m's mom]

My Sister and I are the 1st non-teachers among females in 4 generations in our family. I say GO TEACHERS!!
I love my DD's K teacher. Last Monday we DH and DM and I went to a parent teacher conference - just a progress report kind of thing. Well, I could tell she seemed a little down (or not quite so peppy) and I asked her if she was OK. She has tears in her eyes when she said she had had a bad morning. This teacher is the one parents have to write letters and beg to get their kids in her class.
I told her one of the things we loved about her class was the yoga positions she taught the class. My DD loves it and I thought it was a very clever self-soothing/calming kind of thing to teach the kids. Well, she had spent part of the morning in the principals office w/ a parent complaining because she did not want the teacher teaching her kids reliigion. Excuse me, yoga=religion?? News to me.
The things that most parents love about teachers will be the thing another parent thinks is horrible. Stinks huh?

 

[daisyduck123]

I must say that in my 15 years of teaching I never had a parent get upset with me because I was planning to be out a few days....and that is because at my school we do not announce it ahead of time. My principal does not need any more headaches & that would definetely cause a few. I don't see any real benefit in letting parents know you'll be out for a week. Their little ones will survive & actually enjoy the "fresh face" in the classroom.

BTW -- going to DW for a week in Jan. & again in May. (I'm using my contracted leave, no bashing please)

Don't tell the parents I'll be gone.

 

[D L and K's Mom]

I know what you are going through. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my job but sometimes the parents are just a nightmare. Next week is Teacher/Conference week. I dread it so much. Some coferences are just wonderful. The parents are truly interested in their child's progress etc. Others are there just to vent and tell me everything I am doing wrong with their child. I really feel like I am on the hot seat. I have 4 students with IEP's in my class which means many many hours of extra work before and after school...this I don't mind. I have meetings before and after school and during lunch etc...this I also don't mind. I have "behavior modification plans" to update and keep notes on...again, no problem I accompanied a parent and child to the pediatricians office this week. Again no problem. I have kept children after school if Mom and Dad are going to be late, I have even driven home homework assignments and books that have been forgotten. I don't mind all this as it helps out my class.
I do mind people adding times to my conference sign up list (I offer before and after school 7:00am to 7:30pm and I had someone add 6:00am and another add 8:00pm) I make it clear that I am available other days and times and also for phone conferences. I resent when notes I spend time on are unread. I hate that the children work folders are sent home full of work and projects and they come back the same way. I hate when I try to contact parents by phone and I leave school, home and cell # and never ever hear from them. I hate notes telling me YOU NEED TO....You need to make sure he takes home his gloves etc... You need to make sure the homework is in his folder etc.

BUT then again...My pay stinks but the PERKS are amazing.....

I love your children. I love their hugs and smiles. I love that they can make any day brighter. I love their insight .I love their innocence. I love that their "go-gurt" squirts at snack and they giggle. I love how fun tac always finds its way to the bottom of their shoe. I love how they start to sing when they are working and they dont even know it. I love how they draw pictures of me and I am skinny! I love how they hug me for no reason. I love that they sometime slip and call me Mom. I love that they tell me every little detail of what goes on at home (be careful..they tell everything) I love that they are so silly and so adorable. I love that they skip in the hallway. I love that they stll ask is page 17 one seven of seven one? Is it after page "two oh"? I love that they tattle when someone tells on them, tells something about them, looks at them or thinks about them! I love that they are still distravted by squirrels outsied the window and I love that they are full of wonder by the world. This is the real reason I teach....I try to remember that everytime a parent bothers me.
I have had wonderful parents in my years of teaching also...many many wonderful parents who care about their children and love them. I have had many many wonderful parents. unfortunatly it is the ones that who are not so nice that make the lasting impression......Thank you for letting me have the honor to teach your children. Thank you for trusting me with them for 6 hours each day. Hug your child tonight and tell them you are proud of them and you love them no matter what their grades and marks are. Ask them what their day was like. Ask them to show you some of their class work. Ask them what they find hard/easy. Creep in while they are asleep and look at them with wonder and amazement and thank God that you are lucky enough to have them.........



Oh ya...be nice to your child's teacher during Parent/Teacher conferences...they are there for the same reason you are....to do the best for your child!! Thanks for letting me VENT for awhile....now back to report cards!