Dangerous/unhealthy behavior....

[DizBelle]

If you engage in dangerous and/or unhealthy behavior (riding motorcycle without helmet, smoking, etc), does it say anything about how you feel about your loved ones?

 

[Pakey]

I don't think it says as much as when your husband buys himself a top of the line, very safe, expensive motorcycle helmet but he buys you a cheap used one.

 

[tinkntraining]

I don't think it says as much as when your husband buys himself a top of the line, very safe, expensive motorcycle helmet but he buys you a cheap used one.

Now, THAT's a problem.

OP - Of course, each situation is different. But, personally, I think it says more about how the individual feels about themselves, more than how he/she feels about loved ones. Some people live their lives on the edge, taking risks. It's what keeps them alive. Others are happy to sit back and live vicariously through the daredevils. I'm not convinced there's a direct correlation between taking risks and not caring about your loved ones.

 

[horseshowmom]

If you engage in dangerous and/or unhealthy behavior (riding motorcycle without helmet, smoking, etc), does it say anything about how you feel about your loved ones?

I tend to be pretty convervative. I don't smoke but grew up riding motorcycles (always with a helmet). That said, I don't really see that smoking or not wearing a helmet necessarily says anything about how you feel about a loved one.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I tend to be pretty convervative. I don't smoke but grew up riding motorcycles (always with a helmet). That said, I don't really see that smoking or not wearing a helmet necessarily says anything about how you feel about a love one.

Exactly...

 

[MosMom]

I used to eat processed foods.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I used to eat processed foods.

...Don't know if you meant for that to be funny...But I found it amusing.

 

[MosMom]

hahaha a little of both. A little humor in the truth, sadly enough. Humor, truth, and sadness all in one 6 word post. I have skillz.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I think overall you are thinking that happens to other people not to me

 

[krcit]

I think overall you are thinking that happens to other people not to me

I agree. I certainly don't think that someone who smokes or rides a mororcycle loves their kids or spouse less than I love mine. This could get interesting though

 

[alexandria674]

I used to eat processed foods.

You rebel!

Seriously though, I don't see bad behavior giving a statement about a loved one, does it mean my parents didn't raise me right or how I feel towards them? What if someone's main way of making money for their family was by doing something dangerous, such as motorcycle jumps or being a stunt man, would that mean that they loved their families less although they were technically finacially supported them?

 

[RadioNate]

Generally no but I can see how someone might feel that way.

If I had serious asthma and my DH continuted to smoke around me, I'd think that his continuing to do so may say something about his feelings for me. Or if my parent continued to drink and drive with my kids in the car even after I asked them not to, I would feel that they didn't respect me. However those examples directly effect me.

I don't think a DH riding without a helmet when he is alone on a bike says anything about his love for me.


I have a cousin who skydives, a lot. Several hundred of times a year. I don't think she loves me or her sister or her dad or her nephew any less because she jumps out of a plane on a regular basis.

 

[Liberty Belle]

If you engage in dangerous and/or unhealthy behavior (riding motorcycle without helmet, smoking, etc), does it say anything about how you feel about your loved ones?

That depends. Is it an addiction (smoking, alcohol, etc) or a concious decision that is easily changed (helmet, seatbelt, etc)? My answer changes depending on the situation.

 

[DizBelle]

Generally no but I can see how someone might feel that way.

If I had serious asthma and my DH continuted to smoke around me, I'd think that his continuing to do so may say something about his feelings for me. Or if my parent continued to drink and drive with my kids in the car even after I asked them not to, I would feel that they didn't respect me. However those examples directly effect me.

I don't think a DH riding without a helmet when he is alone on a bike says anything about his love for me.


I have a cousin who skydives, a lot. Several hundred of times a year. I don't think she loves me or her sister or her dad or her nephew any less because she jumps out of a plane on a regular basis.

His riding a motorcycle without a helmet greatly increases his chances of death or catastrophic head injury if he were to crash. If he were to die or suffer a severe head injury that left him in a vegetative state, he would no longer be there for you or your family. Earning potential - gone. Ability to go to son's baseball games - gone. Ability to walk daughter down the aisle when she gets married - gone. Ability to participate in family events - gone. He could have greatly reduced his chances of a severe injury or death by wearing a helmet even if he is by himself. Injury or death to himself greatly affects more than just him.

 

[Acklander]

I have a cousin who skydives, a lot. Several hundred of times a year. I don't think she loves me or her sister or her dad or her nephew any less because she jumps out of a plane on a regular basis.

True - I LOVE to skydive. I Love & adore my husband and kids. I can do both - I'm amazing that way.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I think most of the behaviors decribed are selfish ones and yes, I would not be happy with my spouse if he were to engage in them. For me, motorcycles are a biggie. I get that they are probably a lot of fun etc. I just personally think that once you have kids you need to really think about what activities you engage in. Of course if I didn't have kids I am sure my parents wouldn't be happy with me living on the edge if you will but as a parent I don't think certain risks are neccesary. Motorcycles happen to be a thorn that would really bother me though. We don't live in an area where there is open road etc. I am sure there are people who are safe on them but I have also seen the buttheads that weave in and out of traffic. To me it is nothing more than a bicycle that goes really fast and the helmut just catches your head so they can id you. I know that sounds terrible but that is the way I feel about it.

Of course there are a million every day behaviors that are terrible but motorcycles just happen to be one that really bother me. I do however see how they could be so much fun.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

His riding a motorcycle without a helmet greatly increases his chances of death or catastrophic head injury if he were to crash. If he were to die or suffer a severe head injury that left him in a vegetative state, he would no longer be there for you or your family. Earning potential - gone. Ability to go to son's baseball games - gone. Ability to walk daughter down the aisle when she gets married - gone. Ability to participate in family events - gone. He could have greatly reduced his chances of a severe injury or death by wearing a helmet even if he is by himself. Injury or death to himself greatly affects more than just him.

Just because you wear a helmet does not mean you are going to be "saved". I disagree with your helmet actuary, I think you are making it up.

 

[RadioNate]

His riding a motorcycle without a helmet greatly increases his chances of death or catastrophic head injury if he were to crash. If he were to die or suffer a severe head injury that left him in a vegetative state, he would no longer be there for you or your family. Earning potential - gone. Ability to go to son's baseball games - gone. Ability to walk daughter down the aisle when she gets married - gone. Ability to participate in family events - gone. He could have greatly reduced his chances of a severe injury or death by wearing a helmet even if he is by himself. Injury or death to himself greatly affects more than just him.

Well clearly that is your issue. So your point is that you think your DH doesn't love you enough because he rides a motorcycle without a helmet?

Ok.

You can feel that way. I don't. I don't think "if he loved me enough, he would wear a helmet." I don't play that game. Sure his death would affect me but like my skydiving cousin who could go splat *I* don't think that has anything to do with their feelings for me.

You differ. That's fine.

 

[Acklander]

You really can't equate how "safely" someone lives their life with how much they love you. That would be like saying soldiers or policemen or firemen don't love their spouses as much as those who work behind a desk.

 

[Kit'smommy]

Just because you wear a helmet does not mean you are going to be "saved". I disagree with your helmet actuary, I think you are making it up.

No, it does not mean that you are going to be saved, but it does increase your chances of surviving some injuries.

DH had an accident on his road bike two weeks ago while riding with the team with which he races. He hit a small pothole at about 25 MPH. We think he knocked himself out and he broke his shoulder blade and collarbone. His helmet was split from the impact. I am not sure what condition he would be in, had he not been wearing one. The helmet has been shown to DS and the other children in our neighborhood that gripe about wearing one. It has definitely changed their perspective about going without a helmet.