Dan, RoutemanDan - The Case of the Tag Fairies

[glo]

oooh oooh....hurry up and write...I need to know who M is....

 

[Zurg]

Originally posted by glo
oooh oooh....hurry up and write...I need to know who M is....

Okay.

D,RMD II Scene III - M

Dan stood slack jawed as his wife walked out of M’s office saying, “It was so nice to meet you…” Then seeing Dan, “Oh hi Honey, I just met the nicest person.”

Dan is dumbstruck.
She wasn’t supposed to be here.
She wasn’t supposed to know his secret spy secrets.
M’s office defiantly is a secret agent secret.

Was his secret identity no longer secret?
(Is that enough of the word secret? Should I use clandestine or covert?
Clandestine Agent Man? Covert Agent Man? Nope – Secret it is! Or in this case was)
‘Have I been compromised?” Dan thought. Then knowing what secret agents are like and wondering if this was just a clever trick of Kev’s quickly wondered. ‘Has SHE been compromised.’
Dan was getting a little jealous and a little mad.

Seeing the confusion in his face Jen said, “I could have sworn someone took my picture when I came out of the restroom. I was a little flustered by that. This nice lady helped calm me down.”

Jen stepps aside and there is a woman behind her. Dan hadn’t noticed this other woman at first because she wasn’t very tall and Jen had been blocking her form his view.

The petite woman smiles at Jen and says goodbye. Then turning to Dan her expression becomes tougher. “Come in please” she says curtly.

Dan follows into the office still confused.

“What was she… who are… Kev..” Dan babbles.

“I am M.” the diminutive woman says.

Dan is still babbling. As if to make a point she dope slaps Dan up side the head saying, “Get a grip Dan, it is 2002. Women can break the glass ceiling.”

It did the trick Dan regains his composure. “Glo.” He says in recognition. “Chat Moderator Glo.”

“Yes” Glo says “I have been assigned the roll of M – Do you have a problem serving under a woman?”

Dan smirks

Glo Dope slaps him again.

“Ouch!”

(ed note: You think that there will be a lot of that with Glo in charge?)

“Ok we face a new threat...” Glo starts.

“Maniacal megalomaniac threatens global conquest possible involving satellites in space?” Dan interjects in a smarmy know it all tone.

Dope slap. (You saw that one coming didn’t you?)

“Don’t interrupt me and loose the ‘tude. - I have twins – you’re an amateur compared to them.” Glo scolds Dan.

“.. we fear even more insidious.” Glo continued with the briefing. “I am sending the Zurg’s to Washington DC this afternoon to find out more but our fear is they will attempt to disrupt DIS CON II!

“We are putting all our best agents on the case. For security reasons exactly who, will be on a strictly need to know basis.” Glo continues.

“Well I, obviously, will need to know.” Dan says

“Obvious is it? Well you just met one of the newer ones now” Glo responds.

“What – you’re M not a field agent.” Dan quips shortly.

“I hate to repeat myself but, it is 2002. Women can break the glass ceiling.”

“Huh? Hey speaking of women – what happened to Kev? Last I saw him he was soaking in a Nyquil hot top with a bevy of babes.”

“The previous M was captured – you Neanderthal” Glo responds, “ – we fear he may be tortured for information on clandestine and covert operatives.

“What?” Dan

Dope Slap – “Hello in there, to squeal on secret agents secret identities. They may have turned him. That is why we are bringing in some new people and limiting what people know.” Glo replies and muttering under her breath, “in your case limiting what you know isn’t so hard.” Adding more loudly “I’m Sending the Zurgs to DC this weekend.”

“Will Zurg be writing a lot of scenes like he did for D,RMD I?” Dan asks.

“Depends – Zurg is a vain and egotistical artist – notice he changed his name? – he writes more when the audience responds with a lot of thread views and replies.” Glo states mater of fact.

“What are you trying to say?” Dan objects. “You make Zurg out to be a petty self centered publicity hound. He represented me as legal council over that unfortunate Jellyrolls misunderstanding.”

“My point exactly!” Glo states.

A hand materializes above Glo and gives her a dope slap.

“See what I mean.” She says rubbing her head.

“What is significant about Zurg in DC?” Dan asks getting back to the story line.

“It means not be writing again till next week sometime while the family plays tourist.” Glo states.

“I though the Disney Historic Park project near DC was Killed?” Dan observes.

“It was.”

“Zurg is going on a vacation where there isn’t a Disney Theme park! – I don’t believe it!” Dan exclaims.

“Nore does anyone else. He claims it is a field trip for the kids. Our intel. department figures Zurgswife got a smoking deal on hotel rooms that pays tons of frequent flyer miles she can use for Disney.” Glo says puzzled.

“Yeah – It is the only thing that makes any sense.” Dan
.

.

.
“See y’all when we get back” Zurg.

 

[CarolG]

LOL!

Maybe you need a table of contents on page 1!

 

[glo]

oooooh, me think I am going to really enjoy this installment...How dare you go on vacation!!!!

 

[DaisyDebbie]

ROTFLMBO!!!! I smell a new title Glo, Dope Slap Queen!

 

[glo]

lol...I was Dope Slapping on day in chat....I guess it made an impression on ZURG!!!! I feel powerful

 

[klombar]

Originally posted by Zurg

“Huh? Hey speaking of women – what happened to Kev? Last I saw him he was soaking in a Nyquil hot top with a bevy of babes.”

“The previous M was captured – you Neanderthal” Glo responds, “ – we fear he may be tortured for information on clandestine and covert operatives.

” Zurg.

CAPTURED! I hope I was tied up!

 

[glo]

Keep hoping Kev!!!!

 

[Buz]

Dope Slapping on day in chat....I guess it made an impression

Sure did, an impression the shape of your hand.

Ha!

Now we need a new TLA (Three Letter Acronym) for Glo, DSQ!!

Buz

 

[DaisyDebbie]

DSQ -- I love it!

 

[nativetxn]

glo do you carry around a special step ladder for dope slapping?

 

[glo]

I am M...I carry a special secret agent ladder that fold out from a pocket knife for thos special occassions.....hey I like that DSQ....lol

 

[Zurg]

Originally posted by klombar
I hope I was tied up!

We hold these truths to be self evident.

 

[Bennet]

Originally posted by CarolG
LOL!

Maybe you need a table of contents on page 1!

Good idea.

D,RMD II the sequel
Is now listed with a TOC on page 1

I may get around to doing the original.
(I'm also thinking about archiving it on Badshoe)

 

[Bennet]

Originally posted by glo
I am M...I carry a special secret agent ladder that fold out from a pocket knife for thos special occassions.....hey I like that DSQ....lol

You give them an inch they take a mile.

I cast you as M and you want to be Q too!?!

 

[glo]

lol...cool!!!
How about credits !!!

I would love to see my name in lights....lol

You know I am fooling!!! Well...maybe

 

[Zurg]

Man your quick Glo
I have heard that about you

I can't even get back into Zurg personal and you reply!

 

[glo]

me quick????
Depends on who you ask

Now what about it?


NAH!!!! I love being M...no need to be Q as long as I get secret agent RMD under me....
I like putting him in his place....lol

 

[_Q_]

No, I am the one and only Q (or at least _Q_), a tecno-hero in his own mind!

Now, where did I put that ale???

Right!

_Q_

 

[Zurg]

<bgsound src="http://www.007sdomain.com/jbtheme.mid" loop="-1">
“Right” Dan says, “Let me recap:

ONE - There is a new threat to the world or DIS CON II (DIS CON II and the world may or may not be the same thing depending on what board you read.)

“TWO – Kev is missing and presumed tortured.

“THREE - Glo is M.

“FOUR – It took Zurg three scenes to get that out.

D,RMD II Scene IV - Q

“Yes.” Glo confirms Dan’s Cliff Note version of the epic. “That and your wife is a spy too and there is a new _Q_ waiting for us in the lab.”

“WHAT! Q was replaced too?” Dan exclaims.

“Get the feeling you may be next big boy?” Glo says, noticing Dan ignored the first part of her last sentence. “Shall we go to Q’s Lab?”

They exit the office and Dan mutters something to the effect that he hopes Q isn’t some Monty Python-left-over-Schweppes-tonic-salesman.

As they approach the lab M starts to brief Dan on Q. “As you know 007. There are some important social rituals to DIS CON. Not the least of which are DATW and social gatherings at PI and Jellyrolls. You remember Jellyrolls don’t you Dan?”

“On the advice of council I respectfully choose not to testify as is my right under the 5th amendment.” Dan stated in a well rehearsed matter of fact way.

“It is all right Dan,” Glo chuckled. “Back to DIS CON. These events, as YOU are aware involve refreshments.”

“On the advice of council I respect…”

“Don’t get started again!” M interrupts.

They walk down some stairs and she opens the door to Q’s lab. Dan is stuck by the change. Instead of exploding cars and exotic weapons there are rows and rows of every imaginable libation stacked on shelves.

“Uhh, M, You sure this is Q’s lab?. Looks more like the store room for the Rose and Crown.” Dan mutters checking out cases of Dom Perignon being loaded for transport.

“You will want to me careful with those 007.” A voice calls out. “The 72’s are fine but there is something ‘special’ about the ’73’s” Q says taking the bottle gently from Dan’s hand.

Dan being a secret agent and therefore a wine snob takes great umbrage at this, “The 72’s is a renowned year! As for the 73, swill, most of the best vineyards were struck by vine rot in the spring of 73 and then there was a problem with the corks drying put and breaking up…..”

As Dan carried on Q lifts the bottle, inspects the label, removes the foil and wire and aiming towards a group of test track dummies pops the cork. The cork separate in air and individual fragments knocked down each of the dummies.

Q gives Dan a condescending look, “Got the technology from the US Nuclear missile program – MIRV – Multiple Independent Reentry Vehicles. It is how they put a bunch of independently targeted warheads on one rocket. We miniaturized the system. Could be useful for some of the scrapes YOU get into 007.” Q went on, “Naturally, we used the 73 Dom as a prototype – The vine issue was just so much wine aficionado snobbery but I was well aware of the cork problems - thought it would make good cover for the project.”

Q moved on past the shelves. “Kevlar helmet disguised as a Margarita bucket, liquid oxygen in a water bottle, truth potion in a coke, fire retardant whiskey - this concoction changes the freezing temperature of water temporarily to the current air temperature.” Q says taking out a chrome espresso maker. “One cup will do a large swimming pool. Just brew it up and toss it in. You will want to be careful with that 007, humans are mostly water you know? Of course a little antifreeze can help.” Q says pointing at a bottle of Baileys.”

“Another custom concoction?” Dan asks picking up the Baileys.

“No just Baileys. Just kind of warms you up.” Q.

“And all these beers, Blackened Voodoo, Hop Devil, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale…?” Dan asks.

Q steps over quickly blocking Dan from the beer. “In development – very sensitive – private stock you see.”

“So you like the new Q’s work Dan?” Glo asks.

“Why yes – first rate.” Dan replies. “Where did you learn your technology – the MIRV cork bottle is very nice.”

“I was with Dell Dude, a tecno-hero in his own mind! known as Buz - Now, where did I put that ale???.”

Dan if frozen in place.

“You didn’t drink the stuff from the coffee maker did you Dan?” Glo asks, “Freezing potion? Remember?”

Dan has his PPK out. “Buzz? Buzz if the sworn enemy of my friend and grey side good bad-guy Zurg.”

“Not Buzz – Buz – like Beer Buz.” Buz says, adding quietly to Glo, “Are you sure this guy is not a few bottles shy of a six pack?”