dad confronts bully on schoolbus

[LuluLovesDisney]

Exactly. They should start putting nuns on the bus. (Former Catholic schoolgirl here.)

But that's the problem. I think everyone missed my earlier post, but no one has any authority to discipline students anymore. Even punishments like writing a statement over and over or clapping erasers are considered wrong, never mind people crying verbal abuse when a teacher corrects them. Schools are afraid of the victims' parents suing for not doing enough AND the bully's parents for suing for doing too much. You can't please both sides so schools walk a narrow line.

 

[Nancy F]

If the parents of these bullies were held responsible for the little animals they are raising... maybe they'd do a better job. I'd be ashamed if my child was a bully. It starts in the home.
I hope he dosen't get in too much trouble for sticking up for his child. And I hope things get better for this poor girl.

 

[PearlySwan]

But that's the problem. I think everyone missed my earlier post, but no one has any authority to discipline students anymore. Even punishments like writing a statement over and over or clapping erasers are considered wrong, never mind people crying verbal abuse when a teacher corrects them. Schools are afraid of the victims' parents suing for not doing enough AND the bully's parents for suing for doing too much. You can't please both sides so schools walk a narrow line.

^^^ You are exactly right of course. The problem as I see it is that school districts have gone overboard with PC. Each situation involving so-called bullying ought to be scrutinized by the administration. If indeed students are being hurt, as it was obviously the case in this particular instance, then by all means why didn't the school take any further action? As you said, they are afraid of litigation from both ends. There needs to be a clearly delineated set of rules and protocols that ought to be followed in such cases. If the school ignored the father's requests to look further into this matter, then this is a situation where the school district's failure to apply disciplinary action resulted in this father feeling as if there was no other solution but to take matters into his own hands. Right or wrong, he was simply defending his differently abled daughter from her tormentors.

 

[palavra]

I completely and totally disagree... I think it is HUGE lawsuits that might actually affect some meaningful change... as in, schools actually making some effort to protect students from physical assault by bullies.

This is not about making the school pay (as in big dollars for the dad), this is about the school admitting responsibility/liability.
This would be about things like huge fines, administrators being fired, etc....

A lawsuit against the school will only serve to make things worse. I'm an educator, and I can tell these "lawsuits" are a tremendous part of the problem. Why do administrators and teachers often feel there is little they can do about bullying? Lawsuits! Think about it. If a kid is truly a bully, most likely his or her parents aren't respectful, supportive people. You kick little Billy off the school bus for bullying, and his parents file a lawsuit against the school claiming that he has the "right" to ride the bus to school.

The only way to really get any real change is to get to the heart of the matter-the home life and parents. But the old axiom that the "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" is so true in most of these cases.

Fwiw, I once taught in a poor,rural school district, and our principal spent at couple of days each month going to court over some legal matter; many were lawsuits by parents.

 

[Mommy2three]

i confronted my autistic son's bully's parents after the bully choked my son out in our front yard and my son punched the kid back in self defense...i called teh police on the boy but they couldnt find him so the police left...the bully brought his parents over to MY home...(this bully was beating my son up everyday at school) I tried speaking to his parents about it but then the dad proceeded to threaten me, then called his "friends" who showed up in a car load, I had called the police back..they showed up..who's side do u think the police took...yep thats right the bully and his parents side!

the police told me I had no right to defend myself if hte parents stepped into my yard and started swinging...and that I had no right to teach my son and tell my son to defend himself!! That it was wrong of me when the bully was on top if my son choking him to tell my son to punch the kid...i obviously could not touch the kid, and if my son hadnt of punched the bully,my son probably would have passed out on the lawn from being choked.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Mass media, lawyers, parents, politicians, and others have filled the youth with the idea that their rights come far before their responsibilities. Ask any kid what 'rights' he/she has, and guaranteed he/she could rattle off a half dozen. Ask these same kids what responsibilities they have (to society) and I would bet the house that most wouldn't have a clue.

Television programs glorify children talking back to adults - followed by laugh track, children blatantly thumbing their noses at authority - followed by laugh track. Children having sex, drinking, drugging, etc, all without consequence or if there is consequence it is white washed to keep the story line working. Unless there is an adult there with the child telling them that this is only done for humor, they aren't going to know.

Lawyers - worst day ever was when lawyers were allowed to advertise. Nothing is your fault and you can always get money or at least something for your time and trouble.

When parents do not show self restraint, self control, and self respect in front of their children, how will they ever know how to behave? Ranting and raving about how you are owed something or you are entitled to this that and the other thing without explanation about why you are entitled leaves the child thinking they are also entitled to anything out there without having to put in the work.

Politicians and law makers. Blanket laws are insane. In my area, the children are entitled to a ride to school on the bus if they live outside a certain area. Bus drivers can not kick an unruly child off the bus their hands are tied, and guess what, the kids know this. The bus driver in most places do not have aids on the bus, yet they are transporting 75 children. What teacher has that many kids in a classroom while tied to their seat? Teachers can't punish students without going through a process that makes getting a bill made into law look like a stroll in the park! Most teachers try and do what they can, but the kids know their so called rights.

So we tie the hands of those that can and should help mold and teach our children, and we allow the exploitation of them through other means. It is all mixed up.

Tell you what I think, this generation is going to be one messed up and angry group. I truly fear what my elderly years will be like.

This is what the kids are being taught in schools. So if you teach this who now has the upper hand? It sure isnt the adults. My kids are no longer in school. Do schools really have any punishiments? Imho its both the schools and the parents who need to be held accountable. While he is at school they are in the schools care and there fore they need to take charge. And the parents need to stand before a very stern judge. These are the kids who will be running our country soon. Jo

 

[disneyjunkie]

Way to go dad!!

I want to know how you would feel if those kids in the front row or any kid who was not involved was your child? Your child has just been bullied and threatened by a grown man-he threatened to 'kill' people. He didn't just say they would be prosecuted-he said he would 'kill' them. You're really ok with your child going through this scene???? Seriously???

Yes, I would have been ok with my son going through this scene. I've never had a problem with parents standing up/protecting their children from a bunch of crazy behind kids.

As a matter of fact, my friends and I would have had our sons and daugthers deal with brats as well.

lMaybe if the kids weren't so scared to get in trouble themselves they would have stood up for the little girl. I would also ask my kid what has been going on on the bus. When they told me I would then explain that what the animals were doing was so beyond wrong and that that Dad was just so upset that his child was being picked on. The same way I as there Mother would be upset. I would also tell them that I don't believe he was going to actually kill anyone but he was just so upset because his child was hurting. When I was a kid scenes like this did happen and we all survived and we weren't traumatized. We knew we better straighten up.

 

[LuvOrlando]

IMO the Dad was 100 percent right, up until he threatened to kill kids. I know it was a figure of speech but I still think the guy should have been able to show some restraint. But that is my one and only problem with any of it. maybe getting on the bus was questionable but if It was me I would absolutely have gotten on that bus and tore up the little bullies. If I had to get arrested then so be it, that's what defense attorneys are for. Maybe they laughed but I would bet that privately those kids now know if they mess with that child they will have to deal with her Dad on the street, I don't care who you are and angry parent is frightening. In the end I bet those kids will stay away from his kid so CHECK And MATE, he won!

that bus is full of witnesses to the poor girls abuse, I don't think it would be hard for any decent defense attorney to show what was going on and make a case for the dad especially if that bus had cameras going all the time.

 

[Mermaid02]

Yes he went overboard- but as the parent of a child who is "different" and often the targets of bullies I understand his frustration.

The bus driver has to drive- he can't also be a monitor which they obviously need on this bus (and every bus as far as I'm concerned). I think assigned seating would also be a good idea- separate the bullies and seat the monitor near the worst of the worst.

I hope he gets a slap on the wrist and the bullies are dealt with appropriately.

 

[JoiseyMom]

i confronted my autistic son's bully's parents after the bully choked my son out in our front yard and my son punched the kid back in self defense...i called teh police on the boy but they couldnt find him so the police left...the bully brought his parents over to MY home...(this bully was beating my son up everyday at school) I tried speaking to his parents about it but then the dad proceeded to threaten me, then called his "friends" who showed up in a car load, I had called the police back..they showed up..who's side do u think the police took...yep thats right the bully and his parents side!

the police told me I had no right to defend myself if hte parents stepped into my yard and started swinging...and that I had no right to teach my son and tell my son to defend himself!! That it was wrong of me when the bully was on top if my son choking him to tell my son to punch the kid...i obviously could not touch the kid, and if my son hadnt of punched the bully,my son probably would have passed out on the lawn from being choked.

Seriously? Did the cops say they could arrest these people for assault on your if they did start swinging and did they say they could arrest the bully for physical assualt on your child??

 

[Mermaid02]

Also- putting the condom on the girls head is sexual harassment- our schools deal with that swiftly and severely!

 

[cocodog]

Go dad !!

 

[JoiseyMom]

If the parents of these bullies were held responsible for the little animals they are raising... maybe they'd do a better job. I'd be ashamed if my child was a bully. It starts in the home.
I hope he dosen't get in too much trouble for sticking up for his child. And I hope things get better for this poor girl.

I agree with you. When I spoke to the mom of a 1st grader boy who was bullying my 1st grader son on the bus and at the bus stop where I was standing and where his mom was too busy talking to her neighbor, she said to me that she would "do her best to make her son stop". At that point I went to the school. The school didn't do enough either, since it really didn't stop totally. I got better..but the teasing and nastiness was still there. I would give this kid the evil eye at the bus stop , and he would just around.

Now, if a parent told me my child was bullying theirs, I would apologize
to them and tell them that will make sure my child doesn't do it again, and if it does please let me know and I will take care of it. I would ground my child from here to forever!! My kids know right from wrong.

I do have to say after this mohter did nothing, I did go to the school. Wow, was this mom pissed at me.. LMAO!! She was so annoyed I had the nerve to complain about her child to the shcool, when she did nothing to stop him. She probably just said oh my little snowflake leave him alone! How about some consequences for actions!

I will say our middle school handled harrasment and bullying much better! DD was being bullied and harrassed by boys, and the AP didn't tell us what he was going to say to them, but lets just say that the majority of the boys stopped and the ones that didn't werent at graduation!

I will say if a child ever lifted a finger to one of my children, I wouldn't go to the school, I would go straight to the cops. Today, that is your only option since most parents are sadly clueless.

I am 100000000.....% behind this father!!!! ANd I hope the judge has some common sense and either drops the charges or gives him community service and does something to make sure these bullying monsters on the bus are stopped.

 

[Planogirl]

I don't condone this man's choice of words but I do sympathize with him. He must be so tired of his daughter being harassed.

 

[Tantor]

Not sure if this is right way to go about it.....did you hear the kids laughing at the end, probably did nothing

When my daughter was being bullied in Gr 5 ( and there were death threats), we talked to the admin. and when things were not being done we gave them a timeline (ours was noon on Monday , this was a Fri we talked to them) and threatened to go to the media .....that's when the action happened and it was solved.

 

[pyrxtc]

where is the video of them harassing his daughter ??? If they have camera's on the bus, shouldn't they get to see that too??

 

[usnuzuloose]

They arrest parents for not making sure there children are in school. Maybe its time if the parents of the bullies who have been confronted by the school, and do nothing maybe they should be arrested for that. That is more serious than your child skipping school. Something needs to be done. I was picked on in school and it was no fun. Jo

 

[LisaNJ25]

Exactly. They should start putting nuns on the bus. (Former Catholic schoolgirl here.)

You go dad!!!!

Sadly these days I dont think a Catholic Nun would even scare some of these kids.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I don't fault the father for defending his daughter but he lost credibility with the kids by going psycho.

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

A lawsuit against the school will only serve to make things worse. I'm an educator, and I can tell these "lawsuits" are a tremendous part of the problem. Why do administrators and teachers often feel there is little they can do about bullying? Lawsuits! Think about it. If a kid is truly a bully, most likely his or her parents aren't respectful, supportive people. You kick little Billy off the school bus for bullying, and his parents file a lawsuit against the school claiming that he has the "right" to ride the bus to school.

The only way to really get any real change is to get to the heart of the matter-the home life and parents. But the old axiom that the "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" is so true in most of these cases.

Fwiw, I once taught in a poor,rural school district, and our principal spent at couple of days each month going to court over some legal matter; many were lawsuits by parents.

ITA, that was exactly my point in my earlier posts. I had a grad school class taught by a superintendent and he said that 20-40 days each year he is in court. A ton of money was spent because parents sued over having to wear school uniforms and people wonder why we can't have an extra person on a bus- we can't afford books and 10 year veteran teachers are making under 50k a year in NJ where the cost of living is through the roof. These lawsuits are financially devastating. They don't hurt the people at the top, either, they primarily hurt teachers and students.