Cycles of Life, #amiright

[Diana or Di]

I'm a single mom. A single Walt Disney World-adoring mom. And for the first trip I took my goblins on, their dad and I had been split up for a few years at that point. It wasn't the smoothest of splits, so things are of course awkard. But I'm a mom and I put my babies first, so when I was finally able to take them on my own paycheck, (we delayed taking them earlier due to disability issues) I thought about how *I* would feel if he had taken them to my sacred place without me. Which would have been heart breaking. So I invited him. And we went as a family. And it was fine. There were plenty of times I had to not say anything and soldier on, but it was fine. I figured, "okay, I've done it, we co-parented Disney, now I can just take my babies whenever I want."

I was wrong. Now they think Disney, MY SACRED THING, is something we include Daddy in. And like, I don't hate the man or anything, but I also don't choose to spend my r&r time with him, you know what I mean? We weren't compatible for a reason. And some of my trip was diminished because of allowances I had to make. When I told them I was planning another trip for us, they got SO EXCITED because naturally, he would be there. And when I said, "Guys, Daddy doesn't need to go to Disney everytime Mommy wants to. He's not as big a fan." They were clearly totally disappointed.

So I invited him. Again. Because, I'm a mom and I put my babies first, and soon they'll be old enough to not be bothered by it, but for right now, particularly in this bizarro-world of scary with Covid-19 changing their lives, it's not that much to give.

For now. Curses!

 

[brittbrat63]

Ooh girl. I can sympathize. My exhusband and I bought (what's now MY) DVC together. We went to the World for our honeymoon. On the last trip we took together, we talked about how we hoped it was our last with just us. When I told him I was pregnant, I told him our next Disney trip indeed wouldn't be just us. Now, here we are. Divorced with a 2 year old. My son and I are going in September. Even after my ex and I had split, he had planned to come with. I mean, he's got it made. He'd just need his flight and food money. Hell, I even told him he could bring his girlfriend. We made plans for our son's first haircut to be at the Barber Shop. We talked about plans for empty Main ST pictures which is always a must. And then one day, he told me he just didn't want to go. WHAT!?!? I can't imagine not being there for our son's first haircut. For his first walk down Main ST. For the first time he sees "Mi-he". Am I sad my son's father is decided not to be there? Absolutely. BUT your post is telling me it's ok. Like you, I don't want to have to share MY happy place with him forever! Hang in there, momma! And if you ever need a girl's trip with a momma who gets it, I'm you're girl

 

[Piglet99645]

I totally get this. We went many times with our kids before divorce, and even a few times after. I almost always invite him but he goes maybe half the time. Mixed feelings. It’s the one place we still felt like family, but last time he ditched us early because his new SO was having a crisis at home.

We leave tomorrow, but he is “staying home to water his garden.” Whatever.