Cutting back when you still have a "believer"...

[DawnM]

ITA

=mum4jenn;34479528]Believe it or not there are still innocent children out there. I think it is fine for older kids to still believe...there is no sense in making them grow up any faster than they need to.

I'm really hoping you misspoke here. I would hope you don't believe that 9 or 10 year olds that don't believe in Santa aren't innocent???[/QUOTE]

 

[libinatorsmom]

I know how you are feeling I always feel like I am "shorting" my dd even though she is always happy and never seems disapointed... this year everything she asked for are the hard to find gifts and not cheep - I think with the Wii they will be soooo busy and happy playing it that they will not notice the lack of gifts - i wouldnt worry about it and they need to learn to be happy with what they get... and I guarentee they will be happy!!!! We love our Wii!!!

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

We have always told Dd that we have to send Santa the money to either make or buy the gifts and to pay his elves. We have had several tight years and we tell Dd that we can't send as much money to Santa as usual.

What she said. We have always told our kids that. It also explains why some get more than others.

 

[Bearshouse]

We have always told Dd that we have to send Santa the money to either make or buy the gifts and to pay his elves. We have had several tight years and we tell Dd that we can't send as much money to Santa as usual.

We have always done this too.

 

[NYCDiane]

I know several children who still completely and absolutely believe at 10!

.

I have a friend who just had to tell her 11 1/2 year old DDs that Santa isn't real (?!?!). I asked her if they were surprised and she said they were but they were okay with it (?!?!)

Kind of shocked me --- I mean, we're talking Junior High/Middle School age kids here. I think this goes beyond "innocent" and boarders on totally naive.

Can you imagine if these kids would have gone back to school after Christmas break talking about what "Santa" brought for them?? They would have been made fun of big time and embarassed to no end!!!

 

[mum4jenn]

=mum4jenn;34479528]Believe it or not there are still innocent children out there. I think it is fine for older kids to still believe...there is no sense in making them grow up any faster than they need to.

I'm really hoping you misspoke here. I would hope you don't believe that 9 or 10 year olds that don't believe in Santa aren't innocent???[/quote]

I did not "misspeak" maybe some of y'all "misunderstood"!!! Some of you are reading too much into the word innocent.

I work in a school and while there are many that do not believe in Santa, there are also MANY who still do. It is NOT that unbelievable but there are those that feel their children need to grow up faster than necessary these days. And if a child has "never" believed in Santa then maybe why it seems so unbelievable that there truly are older children out there who still DO believe. My own child still believes and she is G/T but she is an only child and does not hang around older cousins, siblings, neighbors, etc that would spoil it for her. Most of her friends believe as she does and even though she knows kids that do not believe most of them have been ones that were taught to never believe.

 

[edk35]

NO SANTA!!! I am 47 and I still believe in Santa. My kids are 19, 16 and almost 11 and we still talk about what Santa might bring and fun stuff like that.

To answer the OP question......I think you have gotten a few great suggestions here. There are always neat small inexpensive things you can pick up at the Dollar Store for your 10 year old. My 10 year old loves to pick up those cheapie toys they have there. I think Walmart has their own line of inexpensive toys too. Plus as kids get older......they want more expensive things so my kids know that if they ask for a high ticket item....they won't have much to unwrap. You can always give them COUPONS for things like "stay up 30 min. later on a school night", "lunch with mom or dad", "have a friend sleepover". You could come up with some fun ideas and wrap those or do a scavenger hunt that maybe ends in a fun board game or something. Kids get into stuff like that. You could have him unwrap clues to a certain gift. That would give him more things to unwrap.

 

[gregokdisney]

She is also 10 and completely believes. I find it amusing that people who don't know any of the families here can post that our children who are 10 really don't believe and are playing along for our benefit. I can assure you, she still believes! Many kids in her 5th grade class, including her best friend, still believe. I think we've made it so far because she doesn't ride the bus. I think most of the shattering of innocence is done on the school bus!

Kids who still believe at this age aren't necessarily less mature or more naive. They are more innocent - but that doesn't mean that kids who DON'T believe are out watching R rated movies or smoking cigarettes. I think kids who still believe just have a need for and a greater capacity to believe in the magic that Santa brings.

That being said, I think that I wouldn't even address the fact that Santa cut back this year. If he comments, you can just say that things are tough all over - even Santa has to buy materials, and everything is more expensive this year.

I also like the idea of doing some things like the s'mores party or the slumber party to create some fun and excitement that isn't gift related, so everyone is just really excited about Christmas in general!

 

[mum4jenn]

She is also 10 and completely believes. I find it amusing that people who don't know any of the families here can post that our children who are 10 really don't believe and are playing along for our benefit. I can assure you, she still believes! Many kids in her 5th grade class, including her best friend, still believe. I think we've made it so far because she doesn't ride the bus. I think most of the shattering of innocence is done on the school bus!

Kids who still believe at this age aren't necessarily less mature or more naive. They are more innocent - but that doesn't mean that kids who DON'T believe are out watching R rated movies or smoking cigarettes. I think kids who still believe just have a need for and a greater capacity to believe in the magic that Santa brings.

Thank you!!! At least YOU understoond what I meant!!!!!

 

[Andrea from PA]

My 9 soon to be 10 yr old & my 8 yr old still believe.

This year is very tough for us & I debated telling them. Some extended family members gave me $ towards Santa gifts just so I won't need to tell them. But there will be VERY few presents.

OP -- I think you have plenty & 10 yr old won't notice because he'll be so busy playing with the Wii! You'll be fine.

 

[Baltazar]

I would just give them the game system and games and let the chips fall where they may.

If he complains just play dumb. If you over explain things it could backfire.

My youngest still believes and he comes up with some wild reasons on why a certain gift giver is real. I bet he'll come up with his own good reason.

Load up their stockings with lots of cheap toys and candy.

 

[marcyinPA]

OP here...thank you all for your ideas and words of encouragement! You are all right...he will be fine! I tend to over-think these things sometimes!

As far as if he REALLY believes...Yes, I think he does. Am I surprised? Yeah, maybe a little (my 14 year old demanded the truth in fourth grade). Does it bother me? NO...not at all. He's a VERY articulate and VERY smart 10 year old who marches to the beat of his own drummer. He got into a little disagreement with a girl at school over the whole Santa thing. After she told him that Santa was a fake, he responded "Helllllloooooo....have you ever heard of St. Nicholas????" (if you insert the phrase "you idiot" after that, you'll get the tone in which he told me what he said!) He's very comfortable in his own skin and doesn't give a hoot as to what others think. Maybe he's believing for my sake, but I really don't think so. He's never indicated to me that he doubts it at all.

I'm pretty sure there aren't many kids in his class who do believe, because most of them are very street smart. My DS, in comparison, is more sheltered, and yes, innocent. Not that he is completely naive, because that is far from the truth. There is plenty of time for him to grow up, so I'm not rushing it.

So thank you again! And I love the poster who suggested the coupons. What a great idea! And it doesn't even have to be something that costs. He and my DH love to bike ride, but sometimes it needs to be scheduled because we are so busy. A coupon for a bike ride on the tow path is a GREAT idea! Thank you!!!

 

[Reagan&Co.]

I have told my DD12 that "in order to receive, you must believe!!". She can believe or not believe in Santa, based on what clues she gets from her friends. However, if she wants anything from Santa Christmas morning (!!), she darn well better act like she believes!!

But back to your post.....
lots of kids just get three presents at Christmas, because that's what Baby Jesus got. I don't know if that fits into your belief sysyem or not, but there is the option of having Christmas become more Christ-like. Lots of sharing and giving to others. Less focus on gifts. All the previous ideas were great, and I think lots of people will incorporate some or all of a new outlook on the gift-giving.

 

[marcyinPA]

I have told my DD12 that "in order to receive, you must believe!!". She can believe or not believe in Santa, based on what clues she gets from her friends. However, if she wants anything from Santa Christmas morning (!!), she darn well better act like she believes!!

But back to your post.....
lots of kids just get three presents at Christmas, because that's what Baby Jesus got. I don't know if that fits into your belief sysyem or not, but there is the option of having Christmas become more Christ-like. Lots of sharing and giving to others. Less focus on gifts. All the previous ideas were great, and I think lots of people will incorporate some or all of a new outlook on the gift-giving.

This definitely fits into our belief system, and I only wish I had started that tradition when my kids were younger. I think it's harder to start the three-gift thing when they are older after doing the whole Santa thing year after year. I so love this idea though!!

One thing that we DO do though, is to buy gifts for those less fortunate through our "Giving Tree" program at church. My DS was SO excited to shop for the 10 year old boy he picked off the tree, that we already went and bought the gift, and now he's jonesing to wrap it!

 

[momx2]

I'm really hoping you misspoke here. I would hope you don't believe that 9 or 10 year olds that don't believe in Santa aren't innocent???

I did not "misspeak" maybe some of y'all "misunderstood"!!! Some of you are reading too much into the word innocent.

I work in a school and while there are many that do not believe in Santa, there are also MANY who still do. It is NOT that unbelievable but there are those that feel their children need to grow up faster than necessary these days. And if a child has "never" believed in Santa then maybe why it seems so unbelievable that there truly are older children out there who still DO believe. My own child still believes and she is G/T but she is an only child and does not hang around older cousins, siblings, neighbors, etc that would spoil it for her. Most of her friends believe as she does and even though she knows kids that do not believe most of them have been ones that were taught to never believe.[/QUOTE]

No, I didn't misunderstand. I know what innocent means. You stated that there were some innocent children that still believed in Santa. That implies that children that don't believe in Santa aren't innocent. You may not have meant it that way, but it does sound that way.

My DD was put in an advanced class in third grade, she was 8 and turned 9 in December before Christmas. She was for all practical purposes in 4th grade with only 11 other true 3rd graders. The 4th graders told her and her friends there was no Santa. I convinced her that I was too cheap to buy her everything she got for Christmas and she bought it. She did persist on the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy though and I wasn't going to force them on her, so I admitted that they were not real, but Santa was.

Well, by 4th grade she was done with Santa because of all the knowlege she learned from the 9/10 year olds in 4th grade and she was persisent with us, so we confessed. She still plays along big time for her little sister.

Younger DD 8 now is in 3rd grade and she still believes hard, although many in third grade are telling her Santa isn't real. She is doubting some, but still wants to believe. I just "mailed" a letter to Santa for her yesterday. Now, she is the type that will always want to believe and probably will mourn when she confesses the truth to herself. She doesn't want to grow up and I don't blame her. She will probably believe for a few more years.

But, I would never consider my older DD less "innocent" than her younger sister at that age. I raised them the same, but my older one is more mature. That doesn't mean my youngest is immature, but it also doesn't mean my oldest DD isn't "innocent."

 

[momx2]

Kids who still believe at this age aren't necessarily less mature or more naive. They are more innocent - but that doesn't mean that kids who DON'T believe are out watching R rated movies or smoking cigarettes. I think kids who still believe just have a need for and a greater capacity to believe in the magic that Santa brings.

I would have to disagree. My older DD (now in 6th grade) had to be convinced there was a Santa in 3rd grade. By 4th grade there was no more convincing. My present 3rd grader, younger DD, loves, loves, loves Santa. She defends him to the naysayers in 3rd grade and writes to him and will probably believe in for a few more years, because she wants to.

I would never say that my younger DD is more innocent now than my older DD was in 3rd grade. They are different, but older DD was not less innocent.
BTW, my girls did not ride the bus when older DD found out. They do now in the afternoon only, but my younger DD is told by other 3rd graders at school there is no Santa. My oldest DD would probably deck a kid on the bus if they told her sister there was no Santa!

 

[momx2]

OP here...
As far as if he REALLY believes...Yes, I think he does. Am I surprised? Yeah, maybe a little (my 14 year old demanded the truth in fourth grade). Does it bother me? NO...not at all. He's a VERY articulate and VERY smart 10 year old who marches to the beat of his own drummer. He got into a little disagreement with a girl at school over the whole Santa thing. After she told him that Santa was a fake, he responded "Helllllloooooo....have you ever heard of St. Nicholas????" (if you insert the phrase "you idiot" after that, you'll get the tone in which he told me what he said!) He's very comfortable in his own skin and doesn't give a hoot as to what others think. Maybe he's believing for my sake, but I really don't think so. He's never indicated to me that he doubts it at all.

Your DS sounds just like my youngest DD. She had a big argument with a couple of girls in her class about Santa. She doesn't care what they think, she thinks they are crazy for not believing!

 

[we3are1]

Hey are y'all telling me there is no Santa? What? Say it ain't true!!!

Everyone in our house still believes in Santa including our 9 yr old son - the girls in his class seem to doubt more than the boys. We have done the 3 gifts from Santa and 3 from mom and dad since he was born - sometimes they are 1 big gift and 2 small. We even started doing the 3 from grandma too. Since he is an only child, grandchild, and great grandchild things were getting out of hand. The 3 gifts has worked really well.

I do love the coupon idea. We may use that one here this year for stocking stuffers items. I hate all that cheap stuff just to fill it up.

Merry Christmas everyone!

 

[jemgumby]

=mum4jenn;34479528]Believe it or not there are still innocent children out there. I think it is fine for older kids to still believe...there is no sense in making them grow up any faster than they need to.

I'm really hoping you misspoke here. I would hope you don't believe that 9 or 10 year olds that don't believe in Santa aren't innocent???[/QUOTE]

Yeah does that mean Jewish children who don't celebrate Christmas are not as "innocent" as those who believe in Santa?????

 

[samshane]

My 7yr old DS was dancing around the other day and told me that Chistmas was kids AND parents favorite holiday. When I asked him why he told me it was all FREE - Santa took care of everything. He is only 7... I suspect my DDs 9 and 10 just go along with Santa for the sake of me and their brother.

I get them each a bigger gift - but he is happy to unwrap smaller, less expensive gifts as well. Just as long as he has items to unwrap...