I separated from ex when DS was just 12 weeks old, actually the first day I went back to work and came home to find a house full of drunks partying and smoking around my newborn
I never looked back! Unfortunately, ex quit his job the very first week his pay was garnished and has never worked on the books since. DS will graduate from high school on Saturday and it has been a long 18 years trying to collect support. There were other issues too, like spending every Saturday at the local bar with DS but when I brought this up in court I was told I could not decide where or when ex spent time with DS and if this so-called bar sold food, wasn't it a restaurant as well. Yeah, a restaurant that no one eats at! Pool tables, live music, all the townies at the bar by 3 pm.
I take ex to court three or four times a year to collect arrears up to that point which he somehow always manages to come up with (Mommy writes the check I think since a few years ago when the court threatened to put him in jail for non-payment). The one time I complained about his financial statement never changing (has been claiming $400 gross/week for the last 18 years) the judge told me that since he doesn't have anything on the books if I brought the subject up again he would have to lower the support to state minimum which I think was $52/week instead of the $100 I was getting. So I shut up and take what I get.
Like some other posters I decided early on that I would not badmouth DS's father, that I would let him learn himself that my choice for his father was a bad one ~ I will never forgive myself for that bad choice. This young man deserved a better father, someone to help raise him (divorced or not) and provide good role modeling, but that wasn't how it worked out. DS has basically stopped having regular contact with his Dad in the last two years. They still speak on the phone and he goes over to visit on the holidays. His father was unable to help him financially when he bought a truck or for his prom expenses. He graduates on Saturday and I'm not sure if he's inviting his Dad to the ceremony and I'm sure not inviting him here for the cookout after. DS called him three times in the last month asking for $ for senior year things and each time his Dad said sure, come on over (to his Moms where he has lived since we divorced). Each time DS arrived, his father made some excuse and then asked for a ride somewhere. Boy, that really hurt him! I think his Dad may have finally severed the ties with that one.
In MA, I believe arrears on the books prevent renewing a license, and they can get at any tax returns assuming the ex is in the system, not in my case. But, 18 years later and I was very persistent, and I am completely paid up as of one month ago. I'll make a court date again in August just before DS goes into the Air Force and get that last check and then good riddance!
I never looked back! Unfortunately, ex quit his job the very first week his pay was garnished and has never worked on the books since. DS will graduate from high school on Saturday and it has been a long 18 years trying to collect support. There were other issues too, like spending every Saturday at the local bar with DS but when I brought this up in court I was told I could not decide where or when ex spent time with DS and if this so-called bar sold food, wasn't it a restaurant as well. Yeah, a restaurant that no one eats at! Pool tables, live music, all the townies at the bar by 3 pm.I take ex to court three or four times a year to collect arrears up to that point which he somehow always manages to come up with (Mommy writes the check I think since a few years ago when the court threatened to put him in jail for non-payment). The one time I complained about his financial statement never changing (has been claiming $400 gross/week for the last 18 years) the judge told me that since he doesn't have anything on the books if I brought the subject up again he would have to lower the support to state minimum which I think was $52/week instead of the $100 I was getting. So I shut up and take what I get.
Like some other posters I decided early on that I would not badmouth DS's father, that I would let him learn himself that my choice for his father was a bad one ~ I will never forgive myself for that bad choice. This young man deserved a better father, someone to help raise him (divorced or not) and provide good role modeling, but that wasn't how it worked out. DS has basically stopped having regular contact with his Dad in the last two years. They still speak on the phone and he goes over to visit on the holidays. His father was unable to help him financially when he bought a truck or for his prom expenses. He graduates on Saturday and I'm not sure if he's inviting his Dad to the ceremony and I'm sure not inviting him here for the cookout after. DS called him three times in the last month asking for $ for senior year things and each time his Dad said sure, come on over (to his Moms where he has lived since we divorced). Each time DS arrived, his father made some excuse and then asked for a ride somewhere. Boy, that really hurt him! I think his Dad may have finally severed the ties with that one.
In MA, I believe arrears on the books prevent renewing a license, and they can get at any tax returns assuming the ex is in the system, not in my case. But, 18 years later and I was very persistent, and I am completely paid up as of one month ago. I'll make a court date again in August just before DS goes into the Air Force and get that last check and then good riddance!
The day that woman dies he is in a world of trouble because he has never supported himself in his life. Anything he wants, she gives him. He gets about 3 or 4 cell phones a year AT LEAST. Hello, don't you think your son is a bit more important than getting a new sidekick?!?
Kids aren't stupid-they really know who is there for them and who isn't in the end.
My other DD doesn't even remember him.
I would love to have that for my son... and hey, for myself, as well! 
And an update: still no payments. Shocker! 
