Custodial Parents Child Support Support Group!

[Gina]

I never knew such a service existed! That's pretty cool actually. Do you pay a lot for it if you don't mind me asking?

You don't pay up front -- they keep 34% of whatever they collect. It seems like a lot, and it aggravates me to no end that I had to resort to that, but like I said before -- it's way better than the 0% I was getting. I use National Child Support (www.nationalchildsupport.com) and recommend them. I've used them for over 5 years now.

 

[barkley]

just a suggestion-keep up on the health of any deadbeat parent's family members. inheritances can be seized for arrerages

my brother has a friend who is on a first name basis with his local jailers because he is always spending time there for non payment (his county is big on jailing for non payment)-he had horrendous arrerages (another case of 'mommy' providing for his needs ). when his mother died he was bragging about how he was going to get around $50,000 for his share of the sale of the mother's home. when i caught wind of it i did'nt say a word, but i called up child support enforcement and made an anonomous report. he was not a happy camper when he learned that the c/s worker was able to put a lien on the house such that when it ultimatly did sell, the escrow company had to pay the judgement off the top of the proceeds (and his sibs who as a result of the amount of the lien received way less than they anticipated were REALY unhappy).

btw re. social security. if a person is receiving ssd (the kind where they are disabled but have enough quarters in the system) the child is eligible to a benefit. with ssi there is no provision for a dependant benefit. if you want to see if your child may be eligible to receive based on their absent parent's possible receipt-call your local ss office, tell them you have a minor child and you believe his/her parent may be in receipt of disability-they can tell you how to apply (and that person can get into a wazoo of trouble if they did'nt let ss know during their application process, it's one of the questions on the forms-so they can end up with an overpayment, the child gets back money-and absent parent's check is reduced or even zero'd out to repay ss).

 

[eeyorefan67]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who BS at their local CS office. My deadbeat owes close to $100,000 in arrears!!!!! CS wants me to do all the work for them. I told CS where he lives,that he owes property and even goggled them a map of his exact location . All they did was send a letter to his address, which CS claims that the "post office" refused the letter. How funny that my DD can mail him a letter to the same addy and he receives it . Could you please tell me what CS do for work, we do all the hard work for them?

Ok, here's my problem.... The original CS order was in MA. and the deadbeat moved to ME to avoid being caught by CS. He's a carpenter and works under the table. I recently moved to FL and I'm not sure if I should hire a lawyer here in FL, or in ME where he lives or back in MA where the CS order is from? I hate to be at this point with hiring a lawyer and them receiving 1/3 off the money, like its been said before something is better than nothing.

 

[eeyorefan67]

just a suggestion-keep up on the health of any deadbeat parent's family members. inheritances can be seized for arrerages

Been there tried that. Got nothing . Years back, his grandmother passed away and left him money and I once again reported this to CS and they did nothing. Since then both his parents passed away, which again he was left money and again I reported this to CS and again they did nothing. Seems like CS drops the ball alot. I have always kept CS updated on any new info I have on him and it gets me nowhere.

 

[staley7580]

Wow. This is all so interesting. I get child support... SOMETIMES. But in our state, whenever someone is hired... the company that hires them is required to report them to see if they owe support.

My sons father is about $6500. behind. It seems that whenever he gets caught up, he quits his job again. A freaking genius... That one is.

 

[eeyorefan67]

Wow. This is all so interesting. I get child support... SOMETIMES. But in our state, whenever someone is hired... the company that hires them is required to report them to see if they owe support.

My sons father is about $6500. behind. It seems that whenever he gets caught up, he quits his job again. A freaking genius... That one is.

My deadbeat is a carpenter and must get paid under the table. I really don't think he has ever filed taxes ever. He has no license because he knows he owes CS.

 

[Belle0101]

Oh, the stories I could tell. Here's just one, of many, from our last court appearance ....

My DH & I youngest DS were in Cubs all of last school year (2006 - 07). DS (bio dad is my ex) asked at the end of the season if he could be in Cubs with them. DH checked into it and found that he would need to be in Scouts since he's too old for Cubs. Because it was at the end of the season we waited until it started back up (Aug 2007) to enroll him.

Note: I have had sole custody of DS since day 1. The idea of joint custody was never even considered by the judge, not an option. Also, the day Scouts meets does not interfere in his visitation.

Who shows up to the 2nd Scout meeting and tells the leader he wants to be an Adult Leader? Ex.

Long story short, we're in court last month and he tells the judge that I won't allow him to be in Scouts with DS, that DS asked him to be an Adult Leader, that they were both really excited about it, and that I said if he ever showed up again the police would be called.

The judge asked me why I would say that. I never said anything of the kind. I also relayed to her how it was that DS and DH became involved in Scouts. I'm still wondering how it is that he expects me to believe that DS asked him to be an Adult Leader after only 1 meeting, a meeting that DH took him to.

Anyhow, the judge told me that if ex wanted to be involved in an activity that I had to let him be even if DH was already involved in it with DS. He is not his father and he should drop out of all activities that DS and DH are involved in if ex wants to be, in essence, stay home and don't interfere.

Mind you DH and I have been together since May of '96, just days after DS turned 1 year old. This isn't a new relationship by any means. He has been to doctor appointments, field trips, school conferences, wiped his nose, changed his diaper .... all while ex has never been to a doctor appointment, had his visitation taken away for a while, is consistently in arrears in child support, tells the judge and anyone who will listen that DS hates me and resents me (trust me, those are lies), called the police to my home the day before and the day of DS birthday because he wanted me "in trouble" for what he perceived as my witholding visitation (yet another lie) ...

Makes me sick.

 

[happily single]

Ok, here's my problem.... The original CS order was in MA. and the deadbeat moved to ME to avoid being caught by CS. He's a carpenter and works under the table. I recently moved to FL and I'm not sure if I should hire a lawyer here in FL, or in ME where he lives or back in MA where the CS order is from? I hate to be at this point with hiring a lawyer and them receiving 1/3 off the money, like its been said before something is better than nothing.[/QUOTE]

I haven't done family law work in 4 years, but there is an Interstate Family Court Agreement, which states that all States have to cooperate with other States in collection/enforcement activity. I would contact your local Child Support Office and ask that they transfer your case from MA. Like I said, I haven't done this in many many years, but it's defintitely do=able and should not cost very much (In RI it costs $20.00 to become "full-service". FYI Full Service means they do nothing Um, I mean they put his name into the system to check to see where he's working, etc.

 

[eeyorefan67]

So should I transfer the case to Florida where I live or to Maine where he lives? Also another question, about lawyers.........do I hire one in Florida or Maine? Thanks for help, I learn soooo much on the DISboards

 

[nealymouse]

When I worked for the Passport services you would not believe the (mostly) men who called so angry that they were being denied a passport because they owed back child support. (Dept of State will not allow anyone owing back child support a passport)

We would get so mad the people because these people called ranting and raving that they just paid 2, 4, 10 thousand dollars for a vacation and now they cant go because they owe Child support!!

On the good flip side I bet a lot of Moms and dads got a big healthy check because they their ex;s were not giving up a trip LOL

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

When I worked for the Passport services you would not believe the (mostly) men who called so angry that they were being denied a passport because they owed back child support. (Dept of State will not allow anyone owing back child support a passport)

We would get so mad the people because these people called ranting and raving that they just paid 2, 4, 10 thousand dollars for a vacation and now they cant go because they owe Child support!!

On the good flip side I bet a lot of Moms and dads got a big healthy check because they their ex;s were not giving up a trip LOL

I saw something about the passport denials and child support on tv the other day. Too bad my ex doesn't want to travel outside the US. I do think that the program is great though. Anything that gets the other parent to support their child, I'm all for it!

On the flip side...anyone have their ex refuse to give consent for your kids to have a passport? I have this issue now. DS is old enough not to need my ex's consent, but DD still needs his signature in order to obtain one. I'm wondering if I can get a court order to bypass my ex considering I don't think he should have a say since he can't legally get a passport himself.

 

[staley7580]

I saw something about the passport denials and child support on tv the other day. Too bad my ex doesn't want to travel outside the US. I do think that the program is great though. Anything that gets the other parent to support their child, I'm all for it!

On the flip side...anyone have their ex refuse to give consent for your kids to have a passport? I have this issue now. DS is old enough not to need my ex's consent, but DD still needs his signature in order to obtain one. I'm wondering if I can get a court order to bypass my ex considering I don't think he should have a say since he can't legally get a passport himself.

This is my problem now.. My husbands family lives in Germany, and have never seen the little one. We want to take a trip to see them, but cant. Why? We have no contact with the boys father, and I have no idea how to find him. I called the passport people, and they said I can TRY to apply.. and explain the situation. But the will probably deny it.

As long as you have a court order stating you have full custody, you should be good. We dont have anything from the court saying I have full custody, even though I get child support... I dont know.. I dont really get it.

 

[disneydreamin247]

My donor is a 28 yr old infant. His mom would probably still breast feed him if she could! Anything he does, she makes excuses for him. When he was arrested for violating my order of protection it was MY fault for calling the cops. He subsequently lost his city job because of too many arrests, which was my fault also. She bought him and his real winner of a girlfriend a new house in PA, bought him a NEW Explorer (that's not a cheap truck!), pays for the gas for it, supports him, his GF, and HER 2 kids, but refuses to pay a dollar for my DS. After she purchased his new truck (just the newest of his fleet. He gets a car or 2 a year) she told him he has to go to court and file for a downward modification because she can't afford a whopping $50/week. She doesn't think he should have to pay support or work because he's bipolar. The day that woman dies he is in a world of trouble because he has never supported himself in his life. Anything he wants, she gives him. He gets about 3 or 4 cell phones a year AT LEAST. Hello, don't you think your son is a bit more important than getting a new sidekick?!?

He also owes me $1300 for dental bills and I can't afford to have the rest of DS' teeth fixed until he pays it. CSE won't do anything about it and are of no help at all. They told me they reported him to the credit bureau. Big whoop! He had terrible credit to begin with. Sorry for the long rant! It is just so frustrating!

 

[GabbyMom]

my ex left me when I told him I was pregnant. DD was almost two before she met her dad.

I was stupid and thought I was in love, and trusted too easily. I took Ex to court, but we stopped the proceedings trying to work it out between our selves. DD is three now and in school. I pay for everything. I wouldn't be so upset if he spent time with her but he is always too busy. He went for a weekend in Wisconsin instead of visiting her. He has never payed a dime in support but has the money to buy a car, go to school, and buy a motorcycle all in the last year.

So now I'm broke and angry. Angry at him for being a low life, but also angry at myself for trusting him. I can't get child support to take the case up again.

Thank you for letting me vent. I needed that

 

[suevee]

My deadbeat is a carpenter and must get paid under the table. I really don't think he has ever filed taxes ever. He has no license because he knows he owes CS.

Report him to the IRS for evasion of income taxes. Makes his life fun.

 

[suevee]

So should I transfer the case to Florida where I live or to Maine where he lives? Also another question, about lawyers.........do I hire one in Florida or Maine? Thanks for help, I learn soooo much on the DISboards

Be careful about where you transfer to. Some states are better than others in collecting. Check out each state's record in collecting Child Support. Call the State's Attorneys office of each state and ask questions.

There is supposed to be a federal network regarding child support. He should be on a national registrar. Ask your CS if he is and if not -why? It is their job to put him on it. If they haven't done their job go to the State's Attorney's office and your local representatives and complain. I have even gone to the governor's office to complain when my daughter was not getting the service I thought she was entitled to with CS.

When he goes for employment, if the company has over 10 employees they are required to check with the national registrar for CS delinquentcies. The employer sends in his SS# to check. The employer can be fined if they do not do this.

When my daughter's ex tried to skip, I would track him down and call her CS. If her CS person wasn't forthcoming I would call my local legislatures to complain about enforcement. They would then get on top of the CS people. Then my daughter got a call from the head of the CS agency and guess what? He misses one payment and they are on top of it. State agencies HATE to be harrassed by the local and or state representatives.

One thing is when my daughter got her divorce we made sure that the child support was part of her divorce agreement, not a separate document. It gives some extra protection when going to collect.

I am the ex-mother-in-law from you know where in the eyes of my ex-sil. I have learned to use the legislative branch to prod the CS people. If I am not satisfied with an answer from the CS person, I always go higher. It only takes a few phone calls and emails. I am always polite but I do not take no for an answer. I vote for the people who do the budgets. I expect my representatives in local, state, and federal positions to enforce the law. Someone is always funding someone's budget or running for election, or just doesn't like bad press. Children not recieving CS is bad press.

On a personal level, I feel if my daughter's ex wants to have a life, ie good credit, good job, education, he better support his child. If he doesn't support his child I will do everything I legally can to make his life ...unpleasant.

 

[suevee]

This is my problem now.. My husbands family lives in Germany, and have never seen the little one. We want to take a trip to see them, but cant. Why? We have no contact with the boys father, and I have no idea how to find him. I called the passport people, and they said I can TRY to apply.. and explain the situation. But the will probably deny it.

As long as you have a court order stating you have full custody, you should be good. We dont have anything from the court saying I have full custody, even though I get child support... I dont know.. I dont really get it.

Can you apply for full custody? My daughter was able to get both full legal and physical custody.

 

[suevee]

My donor is a 28 yr old infant. His mom would probably still breast feed him if she could! Anything he does, she makes excuses for him. When he was arrested for violating my order of protection it was MY fault for calling the cops. He subsequently lost his city job because of too many arrests, which was my fault also. She bought him and his real winner of a girlfriend a new house in PA, bought him a NEW Explorer (that's not a cheap truck!), pays for the gas for it, supports him, his GF, and HER 2 kids, but refuses to pay a dollar for my DS. After she purchased his new truck (just the newest of his fleet. He gets a car or 2 a year) she told him he has to go to court and file for a downward modification because she can't afford a whopping $50/week. She doesn't think he should have to pay support or work because he's bipolar. The day that woman dies he is in a world of trouble because he has never supported himself in his life. Anything he wants, she gives him. He gets about 3 or 4 cell phones a year AT LEAST. Hello, don't you think your son is a bit more important than getting a new sidekick?!?

He also owes me $1300 for dental bills and I can't afford to have the rest of DS' teeth fixed until he pays it. CSE won't do anything about it and are of no help at all. They told me they reported him to the credit bureau. Big whoop! He had terrible credit to begin with. Sorry for the long rant! It is just so frustrating!

Is the house in his name or his mother's? You could try to put a lien against it. You could also talk to a lawyer about his mother. If she is assuming all responsibility for her son's debts because of a medical condition, she may be liable for your child's support. Talk to a lawyer and ask. If she is liable then you could sue her for child support and all back debts.

 

[nealymouse]

You can go to court and get sole legal custody. It has to read "Sole Legal Custody" for the State Dept to give your minor child a passport.

Once your child is 16 they no longer need two parents to sign the consent form.

You can also go to court and ask a judge to give you permission to get your child a passport with out getting the sole custody order.

Filling in the "special circumstances" on the form is a waste of time. I have NEVER seen anyone get it.

 

[disneydreamin247]

Is the house in his name or his mother's? You could try to put a lien against it. You could also talk to a lawyer about his mother. If she is assuming all responsibility for her son's debts because of a medical condition, she may be liable for your child's support. Talk to a lawyer and ask. If she is liable then you could sue her for child support and all back debts.

She puts EVERYTHING in her name just for the reason that he owes so much debt that there are a ton of collection agencies after him besides child support. That's why he isn't concerned when they report him to the credit bureaus.


I'm going to look into talking to a lawyer. Thanks for the advice!