As requested, based on personal observation of things you really should and shouldn't do to keep life on board Magical.
TOP 10 THINGS PARENTS SHOULD DO ON DISNEY CRUISES:
DO:
[*]Register your kids online and fill in as much information as you can, and pick up your Mickey Bands on the ship when you first embark.
Apparently it's a really nice feeling when you see an unprepared parent hastily scribbling on a registration form knowing you've already done it all in advance. And even if you register in advance, you still have to get a Mickey Band and confirm the registration when you get here. If there's a long line in the terminal - forget it. Just head straight to the Club/Lab onboard where it'll be Open House and get your Mickey Bands there with usually no wait!
[*]Send your kids to check themselves into the Club or Lab on their own.
Many parents don't know that ANY child can sign themselves into our care. It's just signing out that they need privileges for if they want to do it on their own. Clever parents not wishing to wait in lines to check their child in, send them to wait in line on their own. Obviously not recommended if your child is overly young/irresponsible.
[*]When in doubt, give us a call!
Ever wait in a long line only to find out that your child is in the other space? Or just to ask a simple question? Call us! We're obligated to pick up and can easily tell from our computer next to the phone what location a child is in, if they've been picked up, how many kids are currently in the room, what a certain program entails, or especially find out if there's currently a long lineup outside and when a better time would be to come for a pickup. Saves parents LOADS of waiting.
[*]Prepare your kids for picture taking and encourage creative posing.
The most dynamic photos are often the most memorable ones. And more "worth it" to purchase in the end, if your family really gets enthusiastic for photos. That is, unless you're into the same ol basic pose arrangement in every single photo with a Disney character. Take it from CMs and characters alike - the BEST families are the ones who really get into it and have creative ideas for photos, and ask the character exactly what they have planned for the pose. Ex: Everyone jumping simultaneously with Peter Pan. "You can fly!"
[*]Take arts/crafts and anything the kids make when you pick them up.
There are a lot of tears and upset moments avoided when parents bring along their kids' creations instead of waiting til later. More often than not, another child ends up scribbling or gluing all over unclaimed art or the CMs cleaning at the end of the night have to chuck it unless clearly labelled with a name and stateroom #!
[*]Always come prepared with your Key to the World card in your hand when you're coming to get your child.
Save yourself a lot of embarrassing fumbling in your bag, your pockets or those really finicky card holder-lanyards by having it ready in your hand. We need to swipe it to confirm your child's in our space, and we need to swipe it again to pull up your secret word when you leave our gates.
[*]Be creative with your secret word.
Nothing's quite as "Secret" if everyone chooses "Disney" or "Mickey" as their word. It tends to be a lot of dog names but the best ones we've seen are funny words/phrases like: "Meeeeeeow" "My wife is always right." "May the force be with you." or "That's not my kid."
[*]Say please and thank you.
If you ask a CM one thing that surprises them, it's how often parents don't say please or thank you! If you do this already, know that you're in the minority (a sad fact! More common during shorter cruises.) This is in contrast with the kids who are always encouraged to be Disney polite when in our spaces.
[*]Let us know when you want some undisturbed time. Wink wink.
If you're going for a nice 1-2 hour session in the Spa, go ahead! You deserve it. Or a beautiful face-stuffing at Remys or Palo, just make sure you tell us and that you really would love it if you weren't interrupted. Counselors are told to make a point of keeping those kids occupied. One couple very unabashedly said they "needed to have some mommy-daddy romantic time for a while without their phones buzzing" and we got the hint and obliged
[*]Relax!
Finally, remember that this is a vacation! Some parents get so worked up and stressed out about getting the best seats, finding the best spots on the beach, making sure their kids get the best experience, and then end up have a shouting match when things don't work out. Experienced cruisers always seem much more chilled out, and know not to deal with the stress on a short cruise.
TOP 10 THINGS PARENTS SHOULD NOT DO ON DISNEY CRUISES:
DON'T:
[*] Arrive at the terminal early in the morning to board the ship.
You will guaranteed, most likely be waiting for a long while before the boarding call. Terminals can be not-so-pleasant depending on what port it is, especially with anxious, hungry kids and far-off bathrooms. If you manage to get on board early, you could be waiting for a while for your stateroom to even be ready. The most relaxed parents I've seen stroll in at about 2-2:30 and barely wait in any lines for anything! Often, repeat cruisers who know better by now.
[*]Make your kids wear
crocs.
They're so dangerous, and yet they still make 'em and kids still wear them, and we sell some on board. But don't! Choose a different footwear option if need be- but crocs have caused so many injuries it's crazy. Did you know there are now up to two people required to specifically ask children to remove crocs while playing on the slide due to a bad crocs-related incident. These things get caught, cause kids to trip, and are the reason for many rolled ankles. DON'T WEAR THEM ON THE SHIP!
[*]Sail when your kids are 2 years old.
Not to strongly say you shouldn't, but we sympathize when parents with 2 year olds don't have the easiest time or the most relaxing trips. Wait til the kids are of Club age and don't need diaper changing to save on so much worrying on board.
[*]Bring autograph books to character sets/programs or dance parties.
Ask any friends of characters and they will tell you exactly what they think about autograph books
. Leave that for the parks if you must, and even then ask them what they think. Instead, if they mean that much- give them to guest services to have them signed- or even better, those neat photo mats or t-shirts and pillowcases I've seen here on Disboards. Character programs in the club, and dance parties in the atrium or on deck get disrupted by autograph books and they really aren't there to sign them. Magical moments are better made in the interactions during Meet and Greets, questions asked, and video recordings. And they make for happier characters who get to connect with you in more fun engaging ways than signing another book.
[*]Make your kids eat lunch with us.
Consider how much money you've invested in this cruise vacation, and the quality of food you'd expect from it. You kids will likely be better off eating lunch with you than with our plain allergy-free lunchtime meals. Not saying it's bad, but it's simple. And knowing how much you spend as a guest, I would want more than simple food!
[*]Complain to anyone who isn't an officer/manager.
If things aren't going well, or if something's not to your liking, the most you'll get out of yelling or complaining at an ordinary CM is possibly hurt feelings, a bad day, a chance to vent, but likely little change - at least right away. Complain to someone with the power to effect change - those people in white. They will be able to readily address your needs and resolve challenges sooner than a lower-ranked CM can!
[*]Keep Mickey Bands on in a pool, or when going off the ship in port.
Even if you see other families keeping it on, be safe and cut them off and hold onto them. Hundreds of these are found in the pool filters on all of our ships! Countless others are drifting somewhere in the Caribbean waters. The only time you absolutely SHOULD keep it on, is
Castaway Cay if you're planning a drop-off. And while in our spaces, of course!
[*]Forget to tell your significant other/parents the secret word. Or forget to authorize them in the first place.
If I could only tell you how many irate husbansd, wives, grandmothers and grandfathers, and random relatives have waited in line to pick up a child to find out that they aren't authorized to get them. Or that there even is a secret word for every child/family. They end up getting incredibly angry with us for following protocol "Can't you see, this is MY son, why can't I pick up MY son!
" when they really ought to be mad at whoever neglected to pay attention when registering! Double check that anyone you send to pick up the kids is on your list and knows the password.
[*]Leave your children with us until after closing time
I've said it before, but I'll say it again: it's a big no-no. Nothing will get you on the collective CM blacklist sooner than being "those parents" who without fail, walk up to pick up their kids up to half an hour after closing. It's simply not fair to the tired CMs who'll still be working an hour after they've left, bleaching down the entire space.
[*]Call what we do babysitting or daycare.
Many of us feel good about our job because it's not just a daycare or babysitting job. We put so much effort and care into things because we try and make it magical for Disney. But every time a parent reduces it to that, I know some of us felt a little smaller inside. Please don't!
For a lot of us, this is supposed to be a lovely dream job we attained post bachelor's degrees - and it hurts sometimes as we can be looked down on by other CMs as mere babysitters. But hopefully you all know we Counselors try to be so much more.
That's that!
acking Starburst::
If only more parents with 2-year olds on board could be like you guys!
It happens all the time! I know, I wish our messaging/paging system had some way of doing that. What we've tried to do is if we can catch it early enough, we physically go around and check with each child if they want to participate or not and the ones who refuse we message their parents as soon as we can to let them know! But they do sometimes miss the ones who chicken out or change their minds right before showtime and decide to stay! 
OH my. I will do my best to be delicate, I'm quite sure my parents read this board while I'm away!
Oh no sir, thanks so much for the offer, but I certainly can't accept this - it's for you to enjoy! (Translation: I wish so bad that these officers in white weren't around or these cameras all over. I also wish these were sitting outside your stateroom door with a little note saying - CMs, I got the hint. Enjoy! 
