Franklin, northern Alabama, early on the first night on the road and we call it quits while it's still light out.
After she went through 3 motel books she picked up from the welcome center, there really wan't many, if any, cheap motels, and I didn't want to be driving until it got dark looking fror one, especially when we are so unfamiliar with the area, that we pulled into a Best Western and checked in.
50 bucks, plus t ax and "resort fee". Always love the resort fee, fees.
"Excuse me, what is the resort fee for?"
"Oh, use of the pool, wi-fi, continental breakfast, parking, things like that."
"Ok, I won't use the pool or the wi-fi, and I'll park across the street at the Hardee's,,,,"
HE didn't let me finish, "But you still have the continental breakfast."
"Your brochure" and I pulled it forward again in front of him, "says right here, Free Continental Breakfast". I had him
and I could'nt wait to watch him squirm now;
uh uh, not to be.
"It is free, it's included in the resort fee!"
The scary thing was, he was sincere about it, and I quickly realized this isn't going to go anywhere favorable so I dropped it.
The way some folks minds work truly can unnerve me and make me think that any further contact with my own species is something that should be avoided.
We then went in search of our room, 182, first floor, drive up like we always try to get.
Smidgy can read the room numbers better than I, so she is now driving.
She pulls up at 181 and parks, goes to open the door so of course i ask her why.
She says that's our room.
I say it's not.
She says that's still our room.
I say it's still not.
Then she responded like she always does if we disagree:
"Is too!" she yelled at me.
"Is not" I cleverly replied.
Then it occurred to me, "Why don't we let the keycard settle this mindnumbing, world changing debate once and for all?" And no, 182 is not next door, it's with the even number rooms on the other side of Alabama.
Normally, if there is a question about who heard something better, her or me, 99 out of a hundred times, I defer to her superior ears.
Un less I say I know I'm right. Sometimes I just know for sure what was said, and that's that, somtimes there is just no question about the answer, you just know what it is.
I remember one time winning a mess of free drinks from 3 guys at the bar Diane used to work at:
Two of them were argueing over the capitol of Oregon, one said it was Eugene, the other said it was Portland, the other people , believe it or not, started taking sides as I just sat there until I couldn't take it anymore.
"Nope, you're both wrong."
Of course this was not an option, and it got me a bunch of free drinks from these morons that didn't believe me, again, sometimes you just know without a doubt what tthe right answer is.
The door wouldn't open, so we went in search of 182, found it.
Now, you realize that it is going to be with extra self control employed not to gloat or give an "I told you so" comment, or even an " I told you so" look, and i didn't.
But not because of any great benevolence in my behavior, sorry to say.
This door wouldn't open either, so the burning debate over which room we were assigned to has been placed on the floor once again.
And I was right with her when we marched right back into the lobbv again, wasn't about to let her pull the old switherooey on my now.
Well, I was right, it was 182, he didn't know why the key didn't work, so he did some things and gave us a new key, this time it worked.
Barely, took us a few times to get it to.
But before we left the lobby again this time, a woman came behind the counter and told us not to worry about he Mexicans, they have to get out at nine oclock so they won't keep us up late tonight making noise.
Huh?
Tuns out there's a banquet room next to the lobby, which a mess of them rented out untill nine tonight.
We unloaded what we had to, she found the ice machine and filled the ice bucket and I got my first day done driving manhattan.
No manhattan ever tastes better than the one at the end of the driving day.
No, I am not one to have a beer at a rest area in the afternoon, it just never seemed like a good idea to me, better off to wait until you are done driving.
After making a couple of drinks, we went and found the pool to sit by for a bit before we had dinner. It's always nice to be a lot closer to Disney on your way down and just sit at a table enjoying a cocktail just the two of us.
And yes, we are at least going to sit by the pool now, and I'm also going to try and get my money's worth out of the ice machine tomorrow morning when we take part in the morning on the road, "Crap, we still have to drain and refill the cooler with ice" ritual.
The pool area wasn't too bad if you don't mind being surrounded by concrete and parking lots.
And,,,,,
And 632 Mexican children next to us in the playground and sprinkler area all screaming in Spanish, whos parents are in the banquet hall.
Ah, time for the first picture of the report, meet the lovely and talented Smidgy, aka Diane.
It was still kinda nice though, kids or not.
Dinner was Subway sandwiches I bought yesterday, a BMT for her, and the cold cut trio for yours truly, along with cottage cheese and CHEETOHS!
Nebo likes Cheetohs,,, especially the crunchy ones.
I love eating them in bed at night on vacation when she is trying to sleep, it sounds like Godzilla stomping through a Japan where everybody is made out of fortune cookies.
And they all have that little slip of paper sticking out of their collars:
"Today is your lucky day, you are about to be stomped flat!"
Oh, and I was considerate enough to remember to take a picture of our gourmet dinner that evening:
Now, it is very possible that this picture is from the following night, I won't know until I see the dates,
you see we buy the foot long sammiches and split them into two nights meals.
There was something else I should have mentioned;
Way back when, when we hit the welcome area in Tennessee there was this lonely vending machine off to the side, and it was calling me.
It was also not your usual vending machine, for this one actually dispensed ice cream, in different forms and shapes.
Well, I kept it company for a bit and bought a Heath Bar out of it.
No, I didn't want one at the time, but I thought if I didn't wait TOO long, it would be ok for a while in the cooler.
This thought pattern ranks right up there with, "It's Birmingham, how bad can rush hour be?"
Or when General Custer yelled out to his troops:
"Men, over that hill I've heard there are FREINDLY Indians!"
Monday morning, July 30
Weather Channel says it should be basically dry until the usual possible late afternoon Tstorms in central Florida.
It also says Pat Paulson has an excellent chance at winning the presidency this year.
The Whether or not Channel lies!
Our route is thus:
Take 65 south and pick up interstate 20 in B-Ham, take that due east into Georgia and then switch to state rt. 27 again, in the lovely town of Carrolton, at which point, Diane takes over driving for a while. She will then pick up state road 16 which runs into I-75, just north of Macon, leaving ATLANTA in our dust!~
5 miles outside of B-Ham, it started to rain.
This is now the second time we drove through this town, and it reminds me of Bizzarro Land in the Superman comics.
Everybody does the exact opposite of what they are supposed to be doing!
Start with reverseing the numbers in the speed limit signs,,, you pass on the right, switching lanes has to be kept a secret until the last second, and turn signals are used to send text messages in Morse code!
But even though it was no Atlanta, there were still splits and forks to keep an eye on, and as the rain increased in strength, it became extremely difficult to see again.
But what I couldn't understand was that the "not being able to see effect" was not proportionate to the amount of rain falling.
Visibility shouldn't be this bad!
I didn't understand it, just two days ago I was running errands in it when it was raining and I could at least still see ok.
Not this morning though, panic is setting in once again in a hurry!
I tried to backtrack quickly in my mind, and I remembered right before we pulled out of the driveway when I got in, Diane was washing the windshield again, and this is the first time we had to use the wipers since we left. Ok, so what?
"Diane, what did you use to wash the windshield with?"
" I couldn't find the Windex, so I used vinegar and water,"she told me.
As I was peering through the streaks trying to find my lane I kind of lost it:
"What?"
"You used a salad dressing to wash the windows with?"
"What, were we out of Thousand Island?"
"Steve, any housecleaner will tell you that vinegar is the best thing to use for washing windows."
"That may be, but we're not taking a house on the highway at 70 miles per hour when you're done! Something is making them smear."
We somehow found I-20 and switched roads, not long and we found ourselves in a major road construction zone, just as it was really coming down.
In my case, the construction actually helped our cause, with the rain pounding away and down to one lane, nobody could go fast, and it was just "follow my leader" for the next half hour until the rain slowed and we finally drove out of it.
On the state road Smidgy took over and drove for th next hour and a half, until we caought back up to I-75 when I took back over.
Stopped for a free oj at the Florida welcome center and Smidgy picked up a bunch of motel coupon books.
No way I could make Kissimmee by nightfall, so we pulled the plug and ended up staying in Gainesville, but I'll be darned if I can tell you what the name was.
I DO know the bill came to 56 bucks total,, once again we went OVER my 50 dollar allotment, but I like the motel better than the Best Western we were just at. At least this time there was not trouble getting into our room,,,
or at least agreeing on which IS our room.
And, once again, time for a drink by the pool again, this time I considered changing into my suit first, but that didn't happen.
Sitting at the table outside I let her beat me at a game of Rummy 250. At least I'm getting smarter at this game now;
we used tp have to play till 500 before she would beat me, that just prolonged my agony.
Ok, my pictures this time:
Dinner was the other half of the subs again, and then I remembered something.
Can anybody tell me what this is?
Yes, I had still forgotten all about my Heath Ice Cream Bar, most of it was still contained in the wrappers, but it was just a sloppy mess.
Note to self: ice cream does not last long in a cooler.
We took our time the next morning, and got to Kissimmee around noon, we still have one more night to kill before we can check into AKL, but in Kissimmee, there are almost too many choices as to where to stay, and after this trip, do I need to start making my decisions on proximity to a hospital?
see ya later crocodile
I wish I had known, I would have rented you a room for less than $50! Or at least bought you a drink 
