Cry it out method for sleep training - alternatives?

[mefordis]

Is there an alternative to the cry it out method for sleep training that is actually effective? I have a 5 month old who has only slept with us in our bed at night and now we are trying to transition her to her crib. She does take naps in her crib. I really don't have it in me to do the hard core cry it out. If I go in there I HAVE to pick her up. I just can't stand there. I'm weak, I know.

Any advice? Thank you very much!!!

 

[Arielx2]

I was never one for CIO, but if that's the method you want you either need to do it or don't IMO. No point in torturing both of you when you just give in anyway.

 

[mefordis]

I was never one for CIO, but if that's the method you want you either need to do it or don't IMO. No point in torturing both of you when you just give in anyway.

How did you get your babies to sleep in their crib through the night? I am really bad on the follow through for cio because I just cave in. I'm open to other alternatives than cio.

Thanks!

 

[freckles and boo]

The two or three nights I let my daughters cry were among the toughest nights of my life. I cried right along with them with my head under my pillow. I know that some people find it cruel but I was very sleep deprived and it was getting dangerous - I was getting forgetful and even seeing things in my peripheral vision. I felt VERY guilty at the time, but I am glad we did it. They are still excellent sleepers now at six and eight.

To answer your question - nothing else worked for us. I slept very poorly when my babies were in my bed.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

The longer you wait, the worse it will be. Get ear plugs and it will pass...

 

[Anewman]

Cut down on naps a bit during the late afternoon and early evening, make sure baby is well fed.

Good night.

 

[mefordis]

Thank you! This is the support I'm looking for. Like I said, she's 5 months old. She is asleep now (put her down at 7:30pm) and will wake up in about an hour. What do I do? Totally ignore her cries? Go in and pat her on the back so she knows she hasn't been abandoned? Pick her up and nurse in case she didnt' get enough to eat?

Thank you so much for your help! This is a stressful time, as you know!

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Thank you! This is the support I'm looking for. Like I said, she's 5 months old. She is asleep now (put her down at 7:30pm) and will wake up in about an hour. What do I do? Totally ignore her cries? Go in and pat her on the back so she knows she hasn't been abandoned? Pick her up and nurse in case she didnt' get enough to eat?

Thank you so much for your help! This is a stressful time, as you know!

You can't go back in. That only prolongs it and makes you feel worse...

 

[Liann]

We finally got my son out of our bed at the age of 3- ugh. We did what Supernanny did in reverse. Put him on a pallet next to our bed and started moving it every other night closer to his room where his big boy bed was. (Little tykes race car ) Took 2 weeks but WHEW! Within months I was preggers again with DD LOL! She didn't sleep in my bed EVER (cept a nap here and there) and she is more independant for it. Her first couple of months she did sleep in a bassinet next to us.

Hope it works for you.

 

[Liann]

Ooh 5 months~! Travel crib instead of a pallet?

 

[Liann]

Forgot to add my kids are now 16 and 12. Neither likes to sleep with the door closed at night.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I know it is probably sooooo hard.. but I agree with freckles and boo...

I have heard that by night three, everything begins to settle down.

If your baby will nap in the crib, you are probably halfway there.

Just make sure that your baby is comfortable, warm, and well fed for the night.

PS: I think that most parents can tell the difference between normal baby-crying and 'distressed' crying? I didn't have a real problem with this with my son, since he slept in his crib almost from day one. (I couldn't breast feed). So, I am not sure if most babies would actually become 'destressed' or not???

But, the biggest thing that I have to say is that a baby sleeping in their crib is NOT cruel, it is not deprivation. (Just sleep deprivation all around if sleeping with parents bed becomes a necessity) My son's crib was always HIS space, his downtime. He was always an incredible sleeper!!!

Sure, there may be crying and angst, at first... it is an adjustment...
Give it a couple-three nights, and then see how you want to proceed from there.

PS: If there are things like benedryl or tylenol that tend to make your little one sleepy, I don't think a drop or two would hurt during the transition. (gasp!!! bad mom... I know...)

 

[joviroxx]

It took 3-4 days with each of my kids. It was awful but in the end, so worth it. With my son I would go in every now and then to pat him on the back but never picked him up, with DD, i didn't. With DD she even threw up the first nigh from so much crying. But after those 3 days , its a blessing.

The other advice I got from people that I thankfully I listened to was not to get them up or go to their rooms until the time I decided I wanted them up. Thankfully, they learned to occupy themselves, sometime even went back to sleep. I wasn't a slave to their wake up time.

Good luck. It was torture and the crying is awful to hear but if you decide to go with the crying it out method, it does seem to work. And in the grand scheme of things, 3 days is nothing. (though just 1 hour seems like too long LOL)

 

[Wishing on a star]

Cut down on naps a bit during the late afternoon and early evening....

Ohhh, I see what you are saying. But with all due respect, I would definitely not cut down on the mid-day/afternoon nap....

A five month old baby needs LOTS of sleep!!! It will backfire to try to use sleep deprivation... The baby will be cranky, overtired, stressed, and be running on adrenaline... The best thing to induce good sleep, for babies and for adults, is to use natural sleep cycles (circadian rythms) to advantage!

 

[lecach]

I did CIO and I remember reading that you shouldnt try it before 6 months. We did it at 9 with GREAT success.

 

[mhsjax]

I let all three of mine cry it out, the first was the hardest, the other 2 were easy after that, it doesn't take long, maybe a few days. And then you will have life long great sleepers It isn't cruel, babies don't know how to get themselves to sleep but they will learn. And after, if they do cry at night then you know something is wrong, because they have been trained to put themselves to sleep. Maybe I am a cold person, but I absolutely would do it all over again. There is nothing like a baby that sleeps through the night in their own crib or bed.

 

[bekkiz]

There is a book called the Baby Whisperer (There's a great website with forums too, just google it).

Anyway, her basic idea is called the Pick Up/Put Down method. When baby cries, you go in, and shush/pat her on her back to try and settle her. If her crying gets worse, pick her up. As soon as she stops crying, put her down. Repeat as needed. If you put her down, and she sort of whimpers, I think you can shush/pat then too.

I'm not 100% sure of the method details, you'd have to read the book or check out the website, but I think her point is trying to teach baby to put herself to sleep (like CIO) but while you comfort her in the meantime.

 

[IntercomGroupPage]

Check out the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.

Worked for me and lots of friends.

 

[Anewman]

Ohhh, I see what you are saying. But with all due respect, I would definitely not cut down on the mid-day/afternoon nap....

A five month old baby needs LOTS of sleep!!! It will backfire to try to use sleep deprivation... The baby will be cranky, overtired, stressed, and be running on adrenaline... The best thing to induce good sleep, for babies and for adults, is to use natural sleep cycles (circadian rythms) to advantage!

Worked for both of our kids.

No, not sleep deprivation... Just try to keep their attention as long as possible using common sense of course.

In other words try to get their natural sleep cycle to work more in line with the parents schedule.

 

[Liann]

lecach- Your sig line cracks me up! I don't know the story behind it but my MIL ALWAYS gives ME strange Christmas presents. Last year I was given 2 plain bath towels. Year before I got a 4x sweat suit jacket... I'm a size 4.

And to stay on topic I slept all night long in my own bed that night with HER son.