Cruising with an only child

mkb3

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Mar 9, 2017
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Curious how your only child adapted to the Kid's Club not knowing anyone else there. My daughter is outgoing once she's comfortable, but super shy at first.
 
My kiddo (only child; 9, almost 10) LOVED it. They're the type of kid to like lots of kids, but doesn't necessarily make friends (well. if you ask them, they're all BFFs, but. I love my kid while recognizing they're kind of an awkward duck), but they managed still to have a few kids they kept wanting to go back and play with, and they ADORED the counselors. ADORED them. They loved participating in the "FriendShip ROCKS" show on the last day, too.
 
My only child, who struggles socially, has never had any problems. That said, he also doesn't care if he doesn't make close friends.

1. Disney has always been great at sitting us with people who have kids roughly his age. So while he's never really made plans with them outside of dinner time, that could be an option for your daughter.
2. It seems to me a lot of the kids club is kind of just joining together and playing, not necessarily a "do you want to play X with me" situation (though I'm sure that happens too). From what I've seen (during pick ups and stuff) is that the counselors will start something and then other kids will join in and then sometimes a group of kids will break off to do something else.
3. If she's worried, maybe start off with her going to the club for a specific activity (they'll be listed in the navigator/app). That way it's not like she'll be floundering, she'll be going for a specific purpose until she gets used to things.

If you're worried, let the counselors know. Obviously they can't focus only on your child, but they can keep an eye on her. My son is 11 now and he thinks the club/lab and now edge are the greatest places on earth. I'm sad that he'll age out of the club/lab before we do another cruise, probably (and I'm sure he would be, too if I told him, which I don't plan on doing).
 
My dd is now 11 yrs old, she's gone on 4 cruises since she was 6 yrs old. We leave on our next cruise later this week. I was worried on our first cruise, but she did great and has always enjoyed the Oceaneer's club/lab. There were even times we'd go to pick her up and she wouldn't want to leave. She usually goes for about an hour after breakfast or lunch and then for an hour or two at night. Our next cruise will be the first time she can go to the Edge club(for 11- 14 yrs old), I'm hoping she will enjoy it also. If she doesn't like Edge, she can still go to the Oceaneers. If your dd likes to draw, they have a light up table that they can trace characters on. My dd always enjoyed it, because it's quieter and she would usually meet someone in that area.
 

1. Disney has always been great at sitting us with people who have kids roughly his age. So while he's never really made plans with them outside of dinner time, that could be an option for your daughter.

Ah - I didn't think to mention that. At dinner (we had late dining), we were sat with another family with a kid who was turning 8, and next to a table with a kid who was turning 10. The kiddo at our table didn't do much socializing outside her family and didn't enjoy the clubs, but our kiddo and the kiddo at the table next to us hit it off, and they'd do things together even outside the club.
 
She loves to draw, I can't wait to tell her about the light up table as I know she will love that! I can also totally see her bonding with the staff as well! She's only 8 but a cancer survivor so at the hospital she loved the young nursing staff as she got tired of being with just Mom and Dad and she thought they were "more fun" ha. I don't think we will want to send her to the club often as we love being around her, but I think it would fun for her to be around other kids and it would be nice to spend at least an hour in the adults only section per day, but if she wants to go on her own we won't stop her either.
 
Your 8 year old sounds like a real trooper! My 6 year old has been going in the clubs since about 3.5 years old. He doesn't make friends easily and has a hard time interjecting himself, but it gets better.

Some tips that might help out.

1. Go to the open house the first day so they understand the space, how it is laid out, what activities there are, and WHERE THE BATHROOMS are.
2. Look at the planned kids club activities (games, tutorials, magic floor, etc). Pick things your kid would enjoy and try to drop them off at the start of the activity so that they would have the chance to enjoy it. We then would come by after the activity to check on them to see if they wanted to stay or go.
3. I get that the counselors can't force kids to do things, and they can't really devote a lot of 1 on 1 time. However, don't be afraid to have your daughter seek out a counselor if they are having a difficult time fitting in or need something to do. There are some craft and drwaing/coloring areas that might be helpful.
4. Consider looking for cruise meet threads or groups. Often you'll find other parents looking for others who have kids for a social meet up the first day. This can be a good way to at least meet a few kids and probably know a few names before you even set foot on the ship
 
They're the type of kid to like lots of kids, but doesn't necessarily make friends (well. if you ask them, they're all BFFs...)

OMG this sounds just like my kid! Just met someone? My new best friend. :rolleyes1

OP - I think it depends on the child whether they enjoy the kids club or not. Some do, some don't, and that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with what they've experienced at home (daycare, siblings, etc.). That said, my DD is also an only child and has loved the kids' spaces. She also starts off shy but rolls with things fairly easily. With limited age ranges, there are often kids "alone" especially once they get to Edge or Vibe age, where the social aspect of friendship seems to be more at play than in the younger Club/Lab where the kids just join in.

Enjoy your cruise!
 
My 9 year old nephew was fine with it. He's sometimes social. Kids can be fickle. But there are things they can do by themselves. I think the important thing is to take them to the open house so they get comfortable. And as PP mentioned show them where the bathroom is.
 
I don't think we will want to send her to the club often as we love being around her, but I think it would fun for her to be around other kids and it would be nice to spend at least an hour in the adults only section per day, but if she wants to go on her own we won't stop her either.

Hah, I'm preemptively feeling sympathetic toward you because like you, for me vacation times is mainly family time--I work hard and want to spend time with my kids when we are on vacation! But my 8-year old twins constantly wanted to be in the club. They didn't really socialize much with other kids or even with each other, just did their own thing (I always had to pick one up from the club and one from the lab). But they had a blast because for them, it was more about participating in the activities and playing the games than making friends. But this time I'd doing a shorter cruise and longer park stay because I am not allowing a repeat of them disappearing in the club all day every day and refusing to be coaxed out to come to a show or trivia with mom.
 
Curious how your only child adapted to the Kid's Club not knowing anyone else there. My daughter is outgoing once she's comfortable, but super shy at first.
My advice is to make sure you go to your planned dinner that night, because you will probably be paired with another only-child family for the rest of the cruise. They will become best friends and beg to leave dinner so they can go play in the club together.
 
Our daughter was 9 on our first cruise. She met a girl she liked on a port adventure and planned to meet her at the kids club. But she wasn't able to find her and didn't really enjoy the kids club environment on her own. We got a text to pick her up after a half hour, and she didn't ever go back. It was okay that cruise since it was our first, and we had SO many things to explore as a family. But when we went back on our second cruise when she was 11, we got contacts for her in advance through the cruise meet group. She messaged several tween girls before the cruise. She met up with a couple of them on the first day at the group meet up. She really hit it off with one and spent most of the cruise with that girl. Two years later when we went on our next cruise, we booked the same cruise as that family and she hung out with her again the whole time. Since then, she's been old enough that we've let her bring a friend with her on the cruise. I would suggest you join your cruise meet group and try to find some girls her age that she might like and arrange a meet up on the first day! :)
 
My DD has been on 8 cruises as an only child. It's never seemed to bother her that she didn't know anyone first. When she started going to Vibe, she started doing a pre-cruise chat on GroupMe with other kids that would be there. We found them from our cruise group on here or on the Other social media site. With parent's permission, of course. She just completed cruise #8 and probably her last to be Vibe-eligible (she's 17) and she's heart-broken.
 
I don't know how long your cruise is. Our daughter was 6 and the kind to have a new BFF every trip to the park. We went to the open house on embarkation day and signed her up/got the band. She never ended up going because we were so busy together. I forgot about the band until we got charged for not returning it so I ran it down to guest services. That was on a 3 night so maybe it would be different on a longer one. Our next one is 4 night on Christmas so it may happen again.
 
I would suggest bringing her to the Open House on the first day so that she can meet us and have a look around the spaces. We can have a chat to her about some of the programs that will be running throughout the cruise. Also, a lot of children like to play by themselves at various activities or will join a group activity but not engage with other kids. That’s ok! There’s always plenty of us around to keep an eye out and attempt to engage her if needed.
 
Our daughter is an only child of two only children. She isn't the most social or adaptable person, so we did a lot of prep. We played them up every time we talked about the cruise and talked about some of the activities and made sure she saw the video of anything where there was a related activity. We also showed her a nearly endless number of cruise videos on youtube, so she knew what the clubs looked like and even had things in mind she wanted to do. Then, first afternoon, we checked them out together because we are Star Wars & Marvel nerds and wanted to see that part ourselves so she'd be comfortable where everything was. She really did well. First cruise, I don't know that she made any friends, but she entertained herself and was not always on video games. And the second cruise, she spent almost the whole thing in Andy's Room in a little fort with some other girls, chatting about the Marvel Universe (it was a Marvel cruise).
 
My dd is now 11 yrs old, she's gone on 4 cruises since she was 6 yrs old. We leave on our next cruise later this week. I was worried on our first cruise, but she did great and has always enjoyed the Oceaneer's club/lab. There were even times we'd go to pick her up and she wouldn't want to leave. She usually goes for about an hour after breakfast or lunch and then for an hour or two at night. Our next cruise will be the first time she can go to the Edge club(for 11- 14 yrs old), I'm hoping she will enjoy it also. If she doesn't like Edge, she can still go to the Oceaneers. If your dd likes to draw, they have a light up table that they can trace characters on. My dd always enjoyed it, because it's quieter and she would usually meet someone in that area.
We are on the same cruise (just a few more days!) and my nearly 11 year old only girl is hoping to do Edge.

She was not a fan of the Oceaneer clubs on the Dream (she was 9) so I am hoping she likes Edge better. She is a slow-to-warm up kid... so hoping she maybe finds a buddy this time!
 
My only liked going to activities in the kids club - bake cookies, crafts, special games, etc. She didn't want to spend all day there. She also worried about missing out on what we were doing. As a teenager, she LOVES the Vibe, she spends all day there. At 16, I keep thinking she will outgrow Disney cruises soon, but she still wants to go on another!
 
My only kid (DD 12) has been cruising since 8. We are usually paired with other kids her age at dinner and that is how she has made most of her friends on most of our cruises. She has had 2 cruises that she didn't really make any friends, but since she had been on other cruises, she had some favorite things that she liked to do even if it was by herself and she spent a bit more time with me (which was kind of nice).
 
Thanks for all the feedback. After hearing your responses, but daughter is excited about visiting the Kid's Clubs!
 

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