CRUISE AS A GIFT WITH SOME ?'S (long)

[kidzmom3]

It has been my dream to go on a Disney Cruise. I came close once, but then just could not swing it. This is my parents 40th wedding anniversary year and they want to take their 3 adult children and our children on a vacation. My mom, who loves to cruise, and loves disney decided to try the Disney cruise. Well, my sister does not like disney (i know GASP, how can she be related to me), and does not want to do the cruise. She also thinks its too much money and that we should discourage our parents from doing it. My parents are relatively young (58), they still work and have their full minds.

my questions
1. yes, my parents are working class folks but if they think they can afford it, should I even ask them about the expense? Or would it be rude, because they want it to be a gift?

2. what can you say to a non Mickey loving sister to convince her the cruise is a good choice for our family (kids age range 1-15, adults 34-58)

3. If my mom offers to take everyone on seperate vacations (which she has mentioned as a solution), would you offer to not have the Disney cruise as it would cost more than the other vacations?

4. Is my dream cruise really as good as everyone says?

 

[KyCruisinSusan]

kidzmom3 this is MHO on your questions:

(1)don't ask your parents about the expense. they are grown ups and i'm sure have a full understanding of their finances. if they want to treat you to a cruise, don't look the gift horse in the mouth.

(2)not sure how you could convince her to go. maybe do it through her children. i don't know of many kids who wouldn't love to spend a vacation on Mickey's boat.

(3)if your mom has offered to take separate vacations this is her choice once again. only she and your dad know what their finances can and cannot handle. i wouldn't offer to do a cheaper vacation if those are your moms wishes. your sister and her family would be the ones really missing out on a fabulous trip.

and

(4)would your dream cruise be as good as everyone says? i can only answer based on my own experience and the trip reports i have read from other DCL lovers...YES YES YES YES YES YES YES...
it was the best vacation I have ever had. never have i enjoyed the freedom of being a kid again. DH and i were even racing down the stairs last year like 2 kids. Disney just knows how to make everything magical. even most of the people from the recent disfunctional hurricane cruises have had at least 1 good thing to say about their vacation.

If my parents wanted to take me and my family on a Disney cruise I would leap at the opportunity. It is a great family vacation. Something for everyone (even non Mickey lovers)

 

[Footnotegirl]

Ohhh, what a nice gift!

1. Yes, it is rude to ask about the expense of a gift. It wouldn't be rude however to go to your parents and say "I'd like to help" or maybe offer to take care of all the Port of Call stuff, trips and the like. Or the drinks tab if that's likely to be significant for your family. Or as a surprise, pay for the Romantic Escape At Sea or Vow Renewal package for your parents to make it an extra special anniversary.

2. Tell her lots of non Disney-centric people (like me!) have gone on this cruise and really enjoyed it. Especially in the all adult areas of the ship, you hardly notice that you're on a Disney ship. The decor is very classy, etc. The customer service is amazing, the children's programs are second to none. Let her know that the ship is definately not MickeyMickeyMickey all the time. Also, remind your sister that your parents are Grown Ups, and have a right to decide to do what they want with their own money, and its presumptive and disrespectful to tell the people who raised you and took care of you your whole lives that they can't do what they want with their hard earned savings.

3. Discuss it with her, but don't push. After all, again, it is your mom and dads money. They're adults and probably smart, responsible ones if they managed to raise good kids who care about their feelings and well being like you obviously do.

4. Yes, it really is as good as everyone says!* Possibly even better. As my husband says all the time, it was the first vacation we have ever come back from that we didn't want a day off before going back to work. We were relaxed, refreshed and happy.

*not always applicable during hurricane season.

 

[wide awake]

You may want to remind your sister that if mom and dad have to take sis and her family on a seperate vacation it will probably be more expensive. I am about as non Disney as you can imagine...we booked last year because of a military discount...but the ship is BEAUTIFUL !!! The service is incredible, and for once I was able to relax...it was everything a vacation should be. If your parents want to do it, that is great...you may want to suggest you'd all love inside rooms so you'll sleep better, you want to take care of your own shipboard accounts etc...I would feel very guilty about my parents picking up the entire tab.

 

[BethC1952]

As a mom who has done this, I can tell you that it would be rude to ask about the expenses. I don't think it would be rude to offer to help out, though. Pay for some drinks, pay for your own souvenirs, your own tips, your own excursions, and have a great time. Seeing you having so much fun will give your parents more pleasure than you can imagine.

For your non-Mickey-loving sister--I'm not a big Mickey--or any character--fan, but I love the Disney cruise for all the reasons already mentioned. The ship is very classy, and very beautiful. In the adults-only areas, it's quiet, peaceful, relaxing...you get the point.

If your mom wants to take everyone on separate vacations, let her. If your sister would be miserable on the Disney cruise, your parents won't enjoy it as much either. They know how much they can afford to spend. They can't take it with them when they pass away, so they might as well see you all enjoying yourselves now! That also makes wonderful family memories, which will be very imporant in the years to come.

Will your dream cruise be as good as everyone says? A Disney Cruise is only as good as you make it. If you relax and enjoy yourself, it will be everything you've ever wanted.

Beth

 

[ivanova]

Originally posted by wide awake
You may want to remind your sister that if mom and dad have to take sis and her family on a seperate vacation it will probably be more expensive. I am about as non Disney as you can imagine...we booked last year because of a military discount...but the ship is BEAUTIFUL !!! The service is incredible, and for once I was able to relax...it was everything a vacation should be. If your parents want to do it, that is great...you may want to suggest you'd all love inside rooms so you'll sleep better, you want to take care of your own shipboard accounts etc...I would feel very guilty about my parents picking up the entire tab.

I agree, not only can it work out to be more expensive, but what about the issue about having to take MORE time off of work in order to vacation separately with each kid & group of grandkids?

One way to help keep the costs down for the parents paying for this, don't cruise during an insanely expensive time of year (i.e. Spring Break, Christmas/New Years, etc.).

If your sister is the lone hold out (I am assuming her hubby & kids wouldn't resist the cruise) then I think you should sit her down with a DCL DVD and brochure, and maybe put her in touch with non-Disney addicts who've done DCL and have enjoyed.

 

[ericamanda01]

My MIL and FIL did this for the family in 2001. There were 15 of us ranging in ages 5 to 56. They wouldn't tell us anything until our documents came so we all had no idea where were going excpet that it was a cruise. Later I found out that the entire cost of the vacation and it was large. However they paid for everything, cruise, airline, onboard accounts and excursions. They are two very hard working class people but saved for a long time to do this. I believe they were happiest at giving us the gift rather than going themselves. As for helping with the cost offer to pay the airfare and onboard account. By all means explain to your sister that DCL isn't a floating theme park. Give her information and show her websites that giver her a better idea on what it is. If I am reading your post right the cruise was your mothers idea, remind others of that when they say it's a bad idea. And if all else fails start saving for the 06 season and go yourself!

 

[dawne577]

I had to double check and make sure that this post didn't come from one of my own. My DH and I are giving our family a cruise gift for Christmas 2004. I have heard all of the same comments and opinions. After six months debate about how can I make everyone happy(including thinking about seperate vacations) I woke up and smelled the coffee!!!
This is my gift to them - my decision. If they don't like it they can file the torture under "horrible things my mother made me do"
and bring it up at Thanksgiving dinner for the next decade. Or they will come off the boat with wonderful memories and shared time together as a family again - we live in five different cities. And more importantly I get to see my babies interact again. That is worth a million dollars.
As far as the price - yes, it is expensive. Yes, I should probably put the money into the house, CD, investment, etc... but some day I really don't think they will sit around the living room and talk about the new Corian countertops I installed in the kitchen but I bet they will talk about there vacations together.
And as a final comment - no matter how good the intentions it is hurtful to be throwing a gift that hasn't even been given yet back into someone's face. Ask your sister when was the last time she decided on a gift and before she even had it wrapped the person who was to receive it told her forget about it - pick something else - I don't like it. Even on Christmas day when we open the gift we don't like we smile graciously and say thank you and then stash it in the back of the closet. And besides, try this one out first - you're going to like it!!!

 

[nanarn]

I have to agree with dawne577. My parents wanted to take all their kids and sig others for a cruise on their 50th wedding aniv. (14 adults in all, no kids) They wanted to spend time with their "kids" as adults. We had no choice of what cruise line, some choice in the time frame, and none in the price. I know it cost them alot, but it was a great time for all. We did surprize them with a "romance pkg, and wedding vows" and we split their bar and excersion bill (still way cheaper then the cruise on our own.) It is something we still tak about 5 yrs later. I say tell your sister just to say thank you and enjoy the time she has with her parents. Besides, this is about your parents aniv. not about her.

 

[kidzmom3]

Thank you everyone for you awesome advice. My sister is the oldest and even though I am an adult too, she makes me doubt myself sometimes. I was beginning to think I was the crazy one .

My parents love to cruise, and try to go on at least one a year if not two. This would be their first time on DCL and my mom has been wanting to try it for a while. They plan to pay for the cruise, air fare, transfers and a hotel the night before the cruise. The rest is up to each smaller family group. My mom also told me that we are having balcony rooms, because she would never have us stay in a room she wouldn't stay in herself. I have told my mom that its her decision and I will love any present they choose to give me and my family.

Of course, she knows I love Disney, and long to do a Disney Cruise. . . . . . I am the favorite, maybe thats what is making my dear Sis mad.

I love her to death, but she can be a PAIN

 

[JJsmama]

Have your parents explored the cost of the cruise? If so, and they want to take you all-- Let them! This is their celebration and they want to have you all there to celebrate with them. (My parents are taking their SIX adult children and all grandchildren on our cruise to celebrate dad's 70 birthday. It's his birthday, his money and he is as excited about it as anyone!

As for your sister, honestly she is acting very selfishly by taking a celebration for your parents and making it about herself. Perhaps someone could point that out to her. Sorry to be so blunt, but it comes from experience. There are six children in our mixed family and thirteen grandchildren. Everyone does not get his specific wish every time, but we try to compromise toward the greater happiness of the whole group.

Perhaps you and your siblings could insist on paying for your parents' transportation to the cruise and hotel before / after as a gesture of appreciation.

 

[BethC1952]

This is my gift to them - my decision. If they don't like it they can file the torture under "horrible things my mother made me do" and bring it up at Thanksgiving dinner for the next decade.

Dawne557, you made my day! We were just planning our Thanksgiving dinner, which we will share with the SIL and her family who came with us last year (at their own expense) and with FIL who came the year before as our guest. We told them all that if they had a terrible time on the cruise (they all had great experiences!), the only time they could ever discuss it would be Thanksgiving dinners for the next 10 years!

Beth