CRT against DS's wishes?

[letthewookiewin]

It's really not all that girly in there, IMO.

I think you should give him the "mom speech," about how many hours you were in labor with him and how miserable your pregnancy was (add other ridiculous imbellishments here) and how, since you are SUCH a good mom to take him to Disney (after all, some children never get to go at all!), you deserve to eat where you want on Mother's Day.

You could tell him you'll do a trade-off for a boyish place. Maybe Sci-Fi or Toy Story Pizza Planet, so he can play games afterwards? GL!

I would love to be able to use a good "mom speech" on him, but he's asked many times about when he was born. So he already knows that I was only in labor with him for 3 hours and that I only gained 16 pounds. Now if it was my older son, that's a totally different story. I almost died having him.

Another option is to do a different meal on Mother's Day, and then you and your DD go to CRT at another meal.

This trip DS (9) decided he did NOT want to go to any princess meals. So DMom and DSis's and I are taking DD (5) to Princess Storybook Breakfast in Norway. DH and DDad are taking DS to Coral Reef.

I would love to do this option, but sadly I am the only girl in my family (even the dog and cat are boys).

Sarcasm doesn't come across very well on the web...

In any case "bribery" is too strong of a word to start with. Compromise is a better word, as in "if you'll go along with something I want, we'll do something else you want as well".

You right, maybe I used the wrong word. Maybe I should have used compromise as it is what I really meant anyway.

My DH sat him down today and told him that sometimes men have to do things for women even when they don't want to in order to make them happy. That he went with me one time to see a "girly" movie called Evita b/c it was for my birthday and it would make me happy even though he hated every minute of it. That mommy went one time to see a movie (House of 1,000 Corpses) with him even though I didn't want to see it and hated every minute of it but I did it to make him happy. That sometimes it's good to do something for someone else even if you don't want to b/c you know it'll make them happy. I explained that it wasn't "girly" and he would get a sword and showed him some more pictures of CRT. When he still isntisted that he didn't want to eat there my DH said ok, you get 3 choices...Option 1 we go to WDW and if we can get the reservation you will eat there and be happy about it b/c it will make your mother happy...Option 2 you don't have to eat there at all b/c you will be at home with grandparents and the rest of us go to WDW...Option 3 since this trip is to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary (we met at the MK) that both DS's can stay with the grandparents and we will just go by ourselves.

I think I was just so shocked by his declaration that he would rather "be stabbed in the heart and sucked into a black hole" than go that I thought that maybe this time I was being unreasonable. Usually if I tell them to do something and they try to get out of it, I make them do it anyway. It was just something about me forcing him to do something that he didn't want to do while on a vacation made me feel like a wicked step mother. Normally I tell them that they will do it b/c I am their mother and I told them to and that's all they need to know. Although I probably shouldn't be that shocked b/c this is the same kid that last year told me that he took a long shower, but aliens messed with the time space continuum making it seem like to me that he took a shorter shower than he did.

After talking to him tonight I think it's more a problem with the name of it than anything. He has had issues with Cinderella since our first trip. We took him to WDW for the first time when he was 5, and I thought that the concept of WDW was too big for him. Anytime we had gone of vacation up to that point in his life it had always been to this person's house or that person's house. So my DH and I told him we were going to Mickey's house and then we would show him picture of the MK. Well he thought the castle was Mickey's house, and once we got to WDW and he found out that it was called "Cinderella's Castle" he though that Cinderella had stolen it from Mickey, and he wanted to have a talk with her to give her a "peice of his mind".

Well I hope that makes sense, but I'm not sure if I'm making sense or just rambling on these sinus/allergy meds. Anyway thanks for all the advice. Luckily we have more than a year away. What my DH said we are doing this trip is everyone get one special day that they get to totally plan (including meals). Everyone else has to do what that person wants to do on their day or they will loose their turn. My day is Mother's Day, then my DS11 has the next day, DH has the next day, and then DS10 has the last day. That way if DS10 even tries to throw a fit about doing what anyone else wants to do he looses his day.

 

[ms*mountaineer]

Your DH is such a prince for standing ground on this for you! (He's a keeper!) Your DS's just got a lesson in how to treat a lady. I think that's great.

I also think you all have a good plan - everyone gets a day to choose their favorite restaurant or whatever.


Oh - and I love the aliens and shower thing! That is priceless!

 

[Tinks1984]

Different outlook on this one, but I took DBF to CRT breakfast, I don't really think he wanted too, but because he loves me, he did this for me. And I THINK he actually found it quite cool once he got there. I even managed to get him on the picture with Cindy

Try using the approach of 'if you loved Mommy then you'd let her have her special treat at WDW'. I'm sure your boys will get plenty more treats whilst at the World, so I would hope they'd do this for the most special lady in there lives!

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I shuld read the whole thread, and I will but I have to post first! I voted go and bribe him, but I wouldn't bribe him. The bribe is all you do for him in his life. It is Mother's day, out of respect, he should go. Frankly even if it wasn't Mother's day, sometimes in families we do things we don't want to do, but we do it for teh love of our family. I bet you hate washing dirty underwear, but you do it for your family. Life is give and take, you take him on a great vacation, he gives up an hour and a half of his trip to make mom happy!

 

[Aliceacc]

Your sons are going to Disney World. I have the feeling that they'll be doing lots of what they want to do. This is what you want to do.

There's no bribery.

Families work together. This is what you want for Mother's Day. This is what they're doing for you: sucking it up and making it a pleasant experience for you.

Case closed.

An easier alternative than "being stabbed in the heart and sucked into a black hole" is simply missing the trip and staying with Grandma for a week.

 

[PrincessBelle39]

I repsectfully disagree. Go, but without the bribery. Looks like your son is getting a WDW vacation out of the deal. He can "sacrifice" 60-90 minutes of being "miserable."

I was going to say the same thing. Its one meal. He's going to Disney World. He needs to understand that sometimes you do things that you don't want to do. That there are other people in your group, not just him. He's getting a trip to WDW. I'm sure he's doing a lot of things that he wants to do. If its important to you, do it.

 

[srwarden1928]

Obviously you and DH are the adults here, are paying for the trip, and have the absolute right to do whatever you want regardless of what your DS says. However, the reaction you described seems to be rather extreme to me. With such an extreme reaction, I would suggest at the very least to seriously consider respecting your DSs opinion on this issue.
Yes you can eat wherever and whenever you want. If DS is going to be that upset, you have to ask yourself if eating at CRT is important enough to cause that much trauma for him. I dont think CRT would be that important to me.

 

[Disney Khi]

I was going to say the same thing. Its one meal. He's going to Disney World. He needs to understand that sometimes you do things that you don't want to do. That there are other people in your group, not just him. He's getting a trip to WDW. I'm sure he's doing a lot of things that he wants to do. If its important to you, do it.

I agree completely. Just don't make a big deal out of it and he'll get over it. I wouldn't bribe him either. He'll be fine.

 

[*NikkiBell*]

Bribery? Seriously? It is YOUR day and YOU are paying for the trip. Unless he has the cash to pay for his part of the trip, I say he goes and doesn't get bribed. The majority of the things you'll be doing are for him and what he wants anyway. You are entitled to at least one fun thing for yourself.

 

[Aliceacc]

I told my 10 year old son about this thread. His reaction was "Even on MOTHER'S DAY the kid won't do what his mom wants????"

 

[*NikkiBell*]

ROFL Alice. Good boy you have there.

 

[Cinderella94]

While I agree that bribery in this case would be silly, (or in any case really), I don't think that part was intended to be the main focus of the post. More like, that word was chosen as an afterthought and what she really wanted us to be focusing on was the "yes" or "no" part.

 

[marcyinPA]

While I agree that bribery in this case would be silly, (or in any case really), I don't think that part was intended to be the main focus of the post. More like, that word was chosen as an afterthought and what she really wanted us to be focusing on was the "yes" or "no" part.

Judging from the responses, just the fact that the OP is considering not going to CRT because her son doesn't want to is silly...bribery being the main intention of the post or not.

 

[colinsdad]

I was talking to my DS10 about it and he said that he would rather be stabbed through the heart and then be sucked into a black hole than to eat at CRT.

With such an extreme reaction, I would suggest at the very least to seriously consider respecting your DSs opinion on this issue.
Yes you can eat wherever and whenever you want. If DS is going to be that upset, you have to ask yourself if eating at CRT is important enough to cause that much trauma for him. I dont think CRT would be that important to me.

srwarden1928;

When I first read your post, I thought it was a joke. But then I re-read the OP again and did see that you are the only one who seemed to pick up on the point that the son said, "he would rather be stabbed through the heart" then go to CRT. That kind of talk does seem disturbing and if my DS talked that way I'd be sure to inquire about it origins.

So then I'm thinking you probably were serious with this post.

But here's my problem with it. I don't think the OP would have made this post if she didn't think her son was just being melodramatic. So on that note I don't think its necessary to have the OP qualify her post with a comment like "YOU [emphasis added] have to ask yourself if eating a CRT is important enough to cause that much trauma for him. I dont think CRT woud be that important to ME [emphasis added]. That seems a little condesending, holier than thou, self righteous, etc....

I'm not trying to pick on you, but if you are truly concerned you should have ended the comment with your sentence, "With such an extreme reaction, I would suggest at the very least to seriously consider respecting your DSs opinion on this issue." PERIOD. You don't have to lay on the "you have to ask yourself" or if it were "ME".

I'm sure the OP wouldn't and isn't trying traumatize her DS at Disney. It's Mothers Day and its Disney. No trauma.

 

[DisneyBunny15]

Its funny this is a topic.. I just had this conversation with my students the other day. I give them many choices but when it comes to some things, they are going to have to do it whether they like it or not.

I explain to them that they are going to have to do many things in life that they will not like or want to do, but doing it for the benefit of someone else, in this case you, will help show DS consideration and will allow him to see that he can't get everything he wants. While going to CRT, may seem sooo bad to him, in reality, you're teaching him a very valuable and important lesson.

Just a teacher's view..

 

[Sandy321]

Keep having a conversation with your son - find out what's going on - talk about the post you made about the Mickey's house...

then maybe start a thread - any boys go to CRT and help convince my son dinner at crt will be fine -

they let your son read the thread??

ITA with pp that its Mother's Day, and your DH has set the "choices" your son has, so now just see if you can get him to talk about it?

GL

 

[maccagerl]

Since I don't want to force him to do something he doesn't want to do at WDW, I said that I would pick something else. At which my DH informed me that since I want to eat there on Mother's Day, as long as the CR IPO can get the ADR, he will eat there. So, I would love some opninions. Would you go ahead and try and make the ADR knowing your son feels so strongly about it, or go and bribe him with something?

Does your son run the household at home too, or only on vacations?
Unless he's allergic to all of the menu items there, I would go ahead and make your ressie for CRT.
I'm sure he'll get over it, esp since it's a year away!!! and you'll all have a great time.

 

[Lynne M]

I wasn't being sarcastic.

There should not be a compromise either. The kid should just deal with it and have respect for the mother wanting to eat dinner where she wants.

Right there with ya.

Does this kid understand what Mother's Day is? The day when we do nice things FOR MOM?

This is as good a time as any for him to learn that we sometimes need to do things we're not crazy about, for the sake of someone we love. A good opportunity for Dad to take him aside and discuss all the things his Mom does for him that she'd rather not, and that he can suck it up for an hour and do one nice thing for her, without pouting like a baby.

Geez, it's not like they're going to tie him up and put makeup and a princess gown on him and take pictures for his school newspaper. It's an hour of sitting in a themed restaurant, for pete's sake.

OP, don't even think about cancelling the reservation or bribing him. First, it's your day, and second, it's a teachable moment for your son.

 

[tink2]

I haven't read the whole thread- but here is how we handled this with our son who is 7. Went to WDW last Jan.- he did not want to go to CRT but we were going for DD8 (he was 6 then). Oh we heard how it was going to be horrible- our reaction- you will go, sit down and eat breakfast, and smile. You don't have to get your picture made with the princesses, but you will not complain and ruin it for anyone else. Well, lo and behold, he ended up jumping in a few pictures at the last minute! We had Aurora sneak a kiss on his cheek- that was a hoot! He was fine and didn't complain- wouldn't admit he enjoyed it- but didn't complain. Yes, we are planning to go again this Nov. and he hasn't said too much about it. He knows we are going for dd just like we do stuff for him that she doesn't necessarily enjoy. And yes, they both do things that they don't necessarily want to do that dh and I want to do. We tell them that is part of being a family.. and if they complain too much or do anything to make it less enjoyable (on purpose), then they may not get to do something that we had planned for them. Just the way it is at my house.
I think if you put it to ds this way- he'll understand more..

 

[katieandemismom]

I would suggest eating dinner at CRT unless you specifically want to meet all the princesses. The exposure for your son will be Cindy in the lobby (and you can have the pics taken with you and her as a mom's day present). Upstairs the mice will come around and the Fairy Godmother will dance around a little. The meal is pretty good for dinner (we've done lunch and dinner and much prefer dinner). The atmosphere in the castle is pretty darn cool, so I'd go with that!