CRT against DS's wishes?

[TDC Nala]

The four words occurring to me were "suck it up, kid"

I don't think the language suggests he's going to be traumatized, just that he's a wise guy (like lots of kids his age)

 

[bobbiwoz]

My gut feeling is to let it be for now. The last thing that I would want is a stressful Mother's Day celebration. There's plenty of time for each of you to change your minds!

Bobbi

 

[letthewookiewin]

srwarden1928;

When I first read your post, I thought it was a joke. But then I re-read the OP again and did see that you are the only one who seemed to pick up on the point that the son said, "he would rather be stabbed through the heart" then go to CRT. That kind of talk does seem disturbing and if my DS talked that way I'd be sure to inquire about it origins.

So then I'm thinking you probably were serious with this post.

But here's my problem with it. I don't think the OP would have made this post if she didn't think her son was just being melodramatic. So on that note I don't think its necessary to have the OP qualify her post with a comment like "YOU [emphasis added] have to ask yourself if eating a CRT is important enough to cause that much trauma for him. I dont think CRT woud be that important to ME [emphasis added]. That seems a little condesending, holier than thou, self righteous, etc....

I'm not trying to pick on you, but if you are truly concerned you should have ended the comment with your sentence, "With such an extreme reaction, I would suggest at the very least to seriously consider respecting your DSs opinion on this issue." PERIOD. You don't have to lay on the "you have to ask yourself" or if it were "ME".

I'm sure the OP wouldn't and isn't trying traumatize her DS at Disney. It's Mothers Day and its Disney. No trauma.

I know where the origins are. He has mild Autism Specturm Disorder and has had a tendacy to way over exagerate his entire life. One day in preschool he refused to do his work b/c he thought if he did a volcano would appear and blow a huge molten rock on me and kill me. Another time he refused to go outside b/c he was convinced that the clouds outside were formed by aliens that would use tornadoes to suck up any human outside and use them as slaves. He's learned from teachers at school when he uses comments like that, he usually gets out of trouble or gets his way. That is until they catch on to what he is doing. He is very smart, has a big imagination, and can figure out pretty easily what he needs to say in order to get what he wants. Honestly, he's really good at manipulating women into letting them have his way. Usually it doesn't work on me, but I think a combo of lack of sleep and being sick it just caught me off guard. In our normal day to day lifes my DH and I don't try to be their "friends" before being their parent. What we says goes, no discussion. They try and whine or complain around it, they get punishment. However when it comes to our WDW they help plan most of the trip. I pick the price range we can afford, but I let them pick the resort. Once we get to a park we go where they want to b/c as long as I'm at WDW I could care less what order we do any of the rides.

 

[jaycat]

Personally if you want to eat at the CRT go ahead. You should not have to bribe your son into doing it (unless its something like you can pick the place you want to eat at tomorrow, but IMO thats not bribery thats fairness), just tell him this is were we are going to eat for tonight.

 

[summermac]

I say eat there. I don't even care about it being mother's day. I pay for the trip, if I want to eat at CRT, we're eating at CRT.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

My vote is, "Yes, it's Mother's Day and I should eat where I want, and no bribe is necessary.

 

[Sandy321]

awwww -

the rest of the story!!!

Bless you, and your family!!

Dealing with autism has its own special kid gloves!! I think you should still work with the back story of why its important to you - do what you can to prevent a meltdown - at check in mention your sons aversion to eating here - as well as his autism - that way they can help you if things melt down...

I think you do need to talk about it - youtube may have some videos of it - just try to make him appreciate how special this meal is for you - if you sit by a window, he can look out and see fantasyland - and not worry about meeting any characters, its just a place to eat!!

 

[tink2]

Now I understand- autism. I am a teacher and have dealt with varying degress of autism before. So, now my advice is... depends on your child and how you think he will react. See if you can't talk him into it- get pictures, video, anything that would make him accept it or maybe even get excited about it.
Autism is hard and reactions are sometimes difficult to predict.

 

[TDC Nala]

Aha. Wasn't mentioned in the OP that this is a special needs child.

 

[DisneyBunny15]

I work with children with Autism/Asberger's everyday - and Autism or not, this is a "typical" reaction from a 10 year old boy.. even if it is a little exaggerated..

You know your child, you know his reactions and you know how to talk to him. Explain how you feel - and by your post it sounds like DH has that covered - he'll understand!

 

[Aliceacc]

Could he possibly be afraid of the characters???

Would it help to let him know that the characters he'll see in CRT all have "real" faces??? That none are covered by masks??

 

[letthewookiewin]

I work with children with Autism/Asberger's everyday - and Autism or not, this is a "typical" reaction from a 10 year old boy.. even if it is a little exaggerated..

You know your child, you know his reactions and you know how to talk to him. Explain how you feel - and by your post it sounds like DH has that covered - he'll understand!

I don't know why this statement bothers me, but it does. What we've been told by a doctor that works with our DS's school district he is a "master manipulator" and is very calcutaing in that he will say anything no matter how extreme it may seem to others to get what he wants. The district had their doctor evaluate him b/c the teachers were concerned about the statements he was making that they weren't "typical" of a child his age. What the doctor told us was that he is a very smart little boy that has learned that statements like that can be used, especially against women, to get what he wants. Now if it had been a man that told him that, like his father, he wouldn't have reacted with a statement like that. Once he got to a school that had a male Assistant Principal, he stopped making those statements at school. Also he would have meltdowns at school and to anyone not paying attention he was just throwing things without thought. However if you watched his movements he was taking a couple of seconds before throwing something to make sure the path it would take wouldn't hit anyone. I always wondered why if he was truly throwing as many things (including a desk once) and as many times as they said he had meltdowns, why he never once hit anyone with anything that he threw. It wasn't until we had an ARD meeting and I spoke with the doctor who had seen one of his meltdowns did I understand why. He is very good of observing others and what other have done that worked for them and using that method to benefit him. I used to work in a Christian based day care b/c I could take the DS's to work with me. We had a child that as soon as he would get in trouble for something and get put in time out, would start hitting himself in the head and louding stating that "he was too stupid to know how to behave and he didn't deserve to live that "the world would be a better place if a bad kid like him was dead" and that he should "just kill himself so his mother wasn't stuck with such an awful child". Of course the teachers would get him out of time out and console him, going over all the things that made him a wonderful kid and then let him go play without serving all his time out. He would say many "extreme" things in order to get out of trouble. The mother knew about this behavior and did finally get him some help. It wasn't until that point that he would give such extreme statements.
So my point is, this is a learned behavior. He rarely uses it on me anymore it doesn't work on me b/c I know what he's doing. Also, when he has a new teacher I let them know to expect statements like that when he's in trouble or extremely upset. Once he tries to use them on a new teacher and finds out it is no longer working he moves on to another method. However he must have felt really strongly against eating at CRT to actually try a statement like that on me. Mother's Day or not, I didn't want to force him to go somewhere on a vacation when he felt so strongly against it. After all it is just a vacation. Whether I'm paying for it or not, it's just as much his vacation as it is mine. It's not like he's trying to get out of something important like school work. With the new rule that my DH has put into place even if he doesn't want to eat there, if I want to eat there on my day we will. He knows if he throws a fit that he will loose his day, and since he is really looking forward to eating room service while watching the fireworks from our MK view room at the CR, I doubt I'll have any trouble out of him.

 

[Disneymom2266]

We are planning a WDW for May 2010 and I would love to eat at CRT for dinner on Mother's Day. I have always wanted to eat at CRT, but thought my DS's would find it "too girly". I was talking to my DS10 about it and he said that he would rather be stabbed through the heart and then be sucked into a black hole than to eat at CRT. Since I don't want to force him to do something he doesn't want to do at WDW, I said that I would pick something else. At which my DH informed me that since I want to eat there on Mother's Day, as long as the CR IPO can get the ADR, he will eat there. So, I would love some opninions. Would you go ahead and try and make the ADR knowing your son feels so strongly about it, or go and bribe him with something? (and yes I know it's well over a year away but the WDW OCD planner in me is already making ADR schedules)

You are going for Mother`s Day,right? You are the mother and therefore, speniding your hard earned money to go there. I think he will survive one day that`s just for you. WDW is such a magical place for EVERYONE regardless of age. I think you deserve to do something you want to do. And the trip should be enough of a reward, I really don`t think bribing is necessary. Hopefully at 10 years old, he can appreciate how lucky he is.

 

[Disneymom2266]

As I read further posts, I realized the special needs of your child. At CRT, the characters are not in costumes, they are real people. Tell your host/hostess about needs you may have. I really don`t remember the characters even touching the children unless taking a photo, where they may put their arm around them. However,if he doesnt want his photo taken, he wouldnt have to. I think CRT has much less going on than other places at WDW. Some characters come right up and boink the kids on the heads for fun, etc. I don`t think that will happen at CRT. I hope it works out and everyone has a great time.

 

[Aliceacc]

You are going for Mother`s Day,right? You are the mother and therefore, speniding your hard earned money to go there. I think he will survive one day that`s just for you. WDW is such a magical place for EVERYONE regardless of age. I think you deserve to do something you want to do. And the trip should be enough of a reward, I really don`t think bribing is necessary. Hopefully at 10 years old, he can appreciate how lucky he is.

Disneymom, most of us agreed strongly with you... but then the Original Poster let us know that her son is mildly autistic. I still agree that they should go, but I would be a bit more willing to reason with an autistic child than with one who was simply being overly dramatic about something he didn't want to do.

 

[PinkPrincess4Ever]

My son loves it and hes 13 lol. Mom's need some fun too CRT breakfast is a must do for us every trip.!