Creepy Old Men...

[Papa Deuce]

OK, 12 is way too young.... but do you remember the Seinfeld episode where George looked at the guy's 17 year old daughter with big cleavage? ( Denise Richards )....... Paraphrasing, but he was right, ya see cleavage, most men will at least glance.....

And, BTW, remember, I have twin daughters, and I am NOT looking forward to the days that they become attractive or desireable....... I have thought about this and it concerns me already. The girl next door to me just turned 12.... and all the sudden she looks like she is at least 17 or 18..... 3 months ago she did NOT look like that. When I noticed that "I" noticed, well, it kinda freaked me out.

 

[ilovepcot]

This was a thread that really angered me. (Not due to the OP.) I came back quite a while after my initial post to edit. I decided there was no good reason for me to be "snarky" and it would only fuel hostile or hurt feelings.

 

[misslissa]

i was not offended in any way, i am a little creepy looking..lol.. i lost half of my face to a drunk driver,, its partially rebuilt, so to a lot of folks i look stranger than normal, and at 39 dd remibnds me constatantly that i am old...

I wouldn't consider that creepy... if I saw you on the street, I might be curious though. I know someone who went through a similar situation with a fire...

 

[misslissa]

Off topic question for ya. In your siggy you have fiancee 25 y/o big kid...aren't you the fiancee and he the fiance?

Thank you! I didn't even notice that!

 

[Disney Doll]

A few years back I read a very good book called "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker. Gavin deBecker is a securtiy expert, former Secret Service agent. He now provides security for celebrities, public figures and so on.

Anyhow, his book's basic message is to follow your instincts in these situations. It then goes on to give numerous examples of cases he's been involved in which illustrate why you should follow your instincts. He also goes on to say that we, as a society, are so concerned about being "politically correct" and "not offending" anyone that we put ourselves into dangerous situations all the time. He gives an example of getting onto an elevator. The elevator door opens and there is a person standing who, immediately upon seeing them, gives you the "creeps". You have no idea why, you do not know this person, you have never encountered this person, but upon seeing them, you get a feeling that something is not "right". Do you get on the elevator??? Most people would, because they would say to themselves "oh don't be silly...he/she is probably perfectly harmless". Gavin's advice would be to listen to your instinct and not get on the elevator. So maybe the person on the elevator will get offended. Why do you care? You don't know them and will never see them again. And, if we all really sit and think about it, we all know that instinctive feeling gut-level feeling that something isn't "right".

OP, I have been in your shoes, where I have been in a situation where something hasn't seemed "right". I have stayed and kept my eye on a child who didn't seem to have a capable adult nearby, until a capable adult showed up. If I were you, if I had had the feeling that this man was "creepy" and could even possibly harm those young girls, I'd have stayed in or near the hot tub as well. or I'd have had my fiance stay while I went to get a CM or find their parents, or I'd have engaged the girls in some conversation, so that perhaps creepy old man would think they were with me, or at least would be put on notice that I was aware of their and his presence. Yes, their parents should have been monitoring them a little more closely, no they aren'y my kids, therefore aren't my problem...there are a million arguments that can be made against what you did, but they would all pale in comparison if those girls had been harmed in any way.

Other than the poster who is trying to by taking the opposite opinion and pretending he/she doesn't comprehend what you are saying but is taking it as verbatim, I think we all know the "feeling" you are referring to. I know I do. There is a physician who works at my hospital who has this effect on me every time I se ehim,and I have no idea why. He has always been perfectly pleasnt, respectful, kind and professional in any encounter I have had with him, and in any encounter I have ever witnessed that he has been involved in. But when I see this man, the hair on the back of my neck stands up. And not in a good way. It's very unsettling.

BTW, I am 44, so I don't think all older people are creepy. I am a geriatric nurse...I take care of older people and actually enjoy them very much...their experiences, their stories, their lives are fascinating. But not every older person is your cute little Grandma or jolly little Grandpa.

You did the right thing, and as an aunt to a lot of young girls who I love very much, I thank you.

 

[TheDisneyTraveler06]

Eww. That's extremely gross. It's happening more and more these days.

 

[missymouse]

As the mother of a 14 year old daughter who gets leered at often by men old enough to be her father and grandfather I have to thank you for watching out for these girls. I have had to actually educate my daughter and make her very aware of how these guys look at her because I want her to be prepared just in case one of them takes matters into his own hands. She had been taught self-defense and would not hesitate to use it but she honestly was clueless for awhile about the importance of dressing conservatively based on her body type. Let's just say she can't even think about buying a swimsuit or undergarments in the Junior department because they don't have enough material in the tops. It is a tough position to be in as a teen because she doesn't want to wear "old lady" clothes but the fashions of the day if she were allowed to wear them would definitely draw attention and most of it not good attention.

I think the OP did exactly the right thing. When my daughter was 12 I did ask a few gentlemen within earshot of their wives why they are leering at my 12 year old daughter. To say the least they were extremely embarrassed and did not get caught again.

 

[Towncrier]

As a 51yo guy, I feel that I need to chime in on this thread. I am profoundly nearsighted and can barely see to the end of my nose. Unless I wear my glasses into a pool or hot tub (which in and of itself is a bit creepy if you ask me), I am blind as a bat.

Which leads me to one of my biggest fears. That someone will think that I am staring at them or someone inappropriately when, in fact, I am not.

My brother (who is similarly nearsighted) once found himself in a hotel pool full of teenage girls, and was mortified to move for fear of bumping into someone. His wife just sat by the side of the pool and laughed at him.

So perhaps your creepy old man was just nearsighted. I'm just throwing out the possibility.

 

[WantToGoNow]

Thank you for watching out for those girls. Yes, it was the parents responsibility but since they were not around it was good of you to stay around until he left.

I had a similar situation last week while on vacation (non-Disney). We were at this particular hotel for 5 days. Everytime we would walk down the hallway toward the main building/pool, no matter what hour of the day, there was an older man (probably 60's or 70's) standing in the hallway outside of what I presumed to be his room. He would stare at my 2 y/o daughter - he would watch us all the way down the hall and then turn to watch us the rest of the way after we passed his room. He didn't seem to care who noticed he was staring at her. Maybe he was just looking at her because she's so darned cute, but it kind of freaked us out anyway - especially since she was in a swimsuit most of the times we passed that way.

T.

 

[FionaLovesShrek]

Oooo... good lord... You definitely don't understand the point of the post.

The girls weren't misbehaving at all. In my opinion, they man was... he gave me the "heeby-geebies" just sitting there. However, I didn't see the need for me to make a scene!!! And, I didn't.

I did wonder where their parents were... but that's not my business... my mom always let me run around with my cousin on vacation. So, no biggie.

Thanks to everyone who know what I am talking about... I'm not usually an unbehaved person.

As a parent, thank you for doing what you did. Had it been my DD's, I would like to think someone like you would do the same. I also wonder where the parents were, but again, at that age the parents probably felt the older girl was capable of watching the younger, and who knows, maybe their room was close to the hot tub In any case, you did a good thing.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think the OP did exactly the right thing. When my daughter was 12 I did ask a few gentlemen within earshot of their wives why they are leering at my 12 year old daughter. To say the least they were extremely embarrassed and did not get caught again.

This is priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[dementia412]

ah ... I just remembered the time when I was maybe 12 when I was at the mall, and as I walked into a store these two guys in their late thirys or so, looked down at me, and one of the men said very loudly "look at those big macs!" I was mortified, I was already wierded out by the way my boo bs had gone from bumbs to D cups.. I didn't these guys yelling out how big they were.
And a couple years ago when my oldest was about 4 some guy was staring at her on the bus.. her dress was a bit short, and kept hiking up to show her undies, and this guy kept looking at her panties untill my dh gave him a look that clearly read "look at her again and I'll twist your head off" If he hadn't been there I think I'd had hit the dude.

ps, unfortunatly my dh has a hard time keeping his own eyes off the Catholic Hich School girls... I kind of expect that men will look, but as the Sienfield episode clearly showed, glancing and leering are totally different levels of pervert-ness