creative date ideas

[momz]

I'm bored. My husband's idea of a date is this....waiting until someone offers to watch the kids and then going out to dinner. That's it. He has never arranged for a babysitter, and he has never come up with anything other than dinner. Not even a movie, which incidentally, isn't a great date anyway..because we don't talk to each other during a movie.

Anyway. I'm bored, and somewhat disconnected with him too. Help me come up with some creative date ideas. We've got to find some fun and interesting things to do together, and reconnect.

 

[Kathi OD]

I'm bored. My husband's idea of a date is this....waiting until someone offers to watch the kids and then going out to dinner. That's it. He has never arranged for a babysitter, and he has never come up with anything other than dinner. Not even a movie, which incidentally, isn't a great date anyway..because we don't talk to each other during a movie.

Anyway. I'm bored, and somewhat disconnected with him too. Help me come up with some creative date ideas. We've got to find some fun and interesting things to do together, and reconnect.

I've got nothing because I don't get the whole married couples needing to date thing. DH & I don't do "dates," but have managed to be happily married for almost 33 years.

However, we do things together based on our interests. While most of those things include our children and grandchildren, not everything we do includes them. Sometimes we go out to dinner alone. Nowhere fancy, but just the two of us. Often we go for long rides when the weather is nice. We rent a cabin in a state park (no running water in the cabin, but modern bath facilities close by) and go hiking or just sit and wonder at the glories of nature. Sometimes we just sit out back on the deck and have a drink, hardly saying a word. Thursday night is cleaning night and he vacuums & mops the floors while I dust & clean toilets!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't have to "date" or be talking all the time in order to be close and connected to your husband. For me the "date" thing would feel forced and artificial.

FWIW...our kids are older (32, 30, & 24) and my husband NEVER arranged for a babysitter. That just might be something you're going to have to do if you want to spend time with him alone. Expecting him to do it (and then being upset because he doesn't), or nagging about it, isn't necessarily going to change the situation. Think about whether or not that is a battle worth fighting over. I decided it wasn't and made the arrangements myself.

 

[mtemm]

we get into ruts, too, and have been thinking about shaking things up a bit.

I am dying to try one of those indoor rock climbing places that seem to have sprung up around here. I think that would be a fun date some time, and definitely not the same go-out-to-dinner type date

dh would love to go zorbing, but it just does not appeal to me at all, so not sure that will happen

there is also this cheese-tastic learn to dance place that opened in the mall near us that I think would be really fun to do some night, but not sure I can talk him into that one. I think just for the goof factor, and maybe learn something new.

am looking forward to seeing other ideas!

 

[Disney Doll]

I agree with Kathi OD that we don't "date"...dear God, I wanted to be finished with dating when I got married! To have to date my husband...too much pressure!

We try and do things to gether that we enjoy. Soeomtimes we try something new..of late, we have been doing some bike riding...fun and good exercise. We are also in a walking group, which is fun. We do yard work together, we like to vacation together...

I guess we're spontaneous daters!

 

[NHdisneylover]

I don't think my husband ever arranged a sitter either The kids are old enough to stay home on their own now (an amazing feeling BTW). We have never really arranged "dates" per se either, however we often end up just the two of us simply because the kids do not always want to come along now. Anyway, some fun things to do together (that don't cost an arm and a leg):

walk
bike ride
hike
wine tasting
bowling
minigolf
go to a local high school theatrical production
movie BEFORE dinner so you can talk about it over dinner
museums
botanical gardens
college sporting events (anyhting other than football, and hockey tends to be very inexpensive or else free)
invite another couple for cards. Put all the kids at one house with a sitter (pay extra for the two families or find two teens happy to work together and each family pay one) and have the adults get together at the other house to have dinner and play.
skiing
ice skating
visiting whatever tourist attractions are in your area

 

[HeatherC]

Ziplining! Aren't there abunch of places your way? That would get the excitement going!

 

[lovemygoofy]

I date my husband. Between our schedules and that's with no children sometimes my name has to be circled in red on the calendar to remind us to see the other one in a real social setting without work, family, and other obligation talk.

There is a great book called Dating A-Z or something like that. That encourages couples to date according to the alphabet. I read about it from another diser and purchased it. Some are simple things like bake an apple pie for the letter A or find a zebra at the zoo for the letter Z.

One of our favorite things is to get takeout from a semi nice or even fancy place and have a picnic if the weather is nice. Sometimes we throw a blanket on the floor of the family room and have a picnic there with our favorite takeout. No tv no phones just us.

One of my favorite things is to just hold my husband's hand and take a walk down on the river. It's relaxing and no pressure and just reconnecting. We may talk we may not but to just be together is great.

We do like to challenge each other so we also did a kayak tour down the potomac and kicking around the idea of water rafting this fall.

My husband loves to help cook in the kitchen so at least once a month we make a gourmet dinner at home on Saturday night. We get good steaks or seafood and our favorite sides and he picks up a favorite dessert from somewhere and a good bottle of wine. We spend time together and working together and just relaxing at home.

Maybe instead of the pressure of an evening date what about an afternoon or even lunchtime get together. You can reconnect in anyway even if it's just grocery shopping and a coffee together. Being bored at home is one thing but needing to reconnect is something different all together.

 

[~disneydiva~]

I love our date nights!! We don't have kids though. One thing we've done that is goofy and fun is going to Game Works or something like that. We have fun playing the silly ticket games and winning a bunch of tickets. Before we leave we find a kid and hand over the tickets. They are always sooo excited to get them! Its silly and goofy, but we have fun.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

How about going to a local campground and semi-camping? Take stuff to have a fire and make dinner (you'll probably have to pay the $15ish dollars for a campsite unless they have a picnic area with the ability to have a fire). Then sit around the fire talking, drinking wine/beer, making S'Mores/roasting marshmallows, etc.

When my brother and I were younger my parents would find out when a meteor shower was going to be then we would go to a big open field with blankets and pillows and my brother and I would sleep while my parents watched the meteor shower and talked/cuddled.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I love our date nights!! We don't have kids though. One thing we've done that is goofy and fun is going to Game Works or something like that. We have fun playing the silly ticket games and winning a bunch of tickets. Before we leave we find a kid and hand over the tickets. They are always sooo excited to get them! Its silly and goofy, but we have fun.

That is so sweet!!


OP -

I didn't catch where you live, but if near a city, I second museums. DH and I like to do that.

We also love going to movies. I know we don't talk there, but I think it's the shared experience that counts. Like someone mentioned, even simple things like doing housework together can be a time when you laugh and connect.

Check your town's website for things that are close and cheap. High school and college plays, concerts etc. are much less expensive than "real" ones.

I like the lunch idea, too. If you're home with little ones, can you arrange a playdate for them (and then do the same for the other mom another day) and meet your DH near his work? Or if you're also at work, is there someplace in the middle that is convenient for both of you?

And my big one, get together with another couple or two. It forces the scheduling and you are less likely to talk about the house or kids.


P.S. - My DH is not the childcare-arranger either. As you're dialing the sitter, just chant "He mows the lawn" or "He takes out the trash" (whatever it is that he does that you don't have to do) over and over.

 

[Jennasis]

DH and I have gone to the children's science museum, the planetarium for the laser show, the movies, the mountains, the zoo, on a picnic, the beach, the bookstore, out for ice-cream, out to a fancy restaurant, concerts, comedy clubs, plays. Lots of stuff.

While we don't have kids, and we don't necessarily think of them as "dates", that's what they are.

 

[mtemm]

I think its curious that there are posters who say they don't date, but they do go out with their spouse. I guess that is what a date IS to me, which is why I do date my husband.

am interested to know what "date" means then to those who say they don't date their spouse?

 

[NHdisneylover]

I think its curious that there are posters who say they don't date, but they do go out with their spouse. I guess that is what a date IS to me, which is why I do date my husband.

am interested to know what "date" means then to those who say they don't date their spouse?

I guess the difference to me would be that a date would be specifically planning time to go out for just the two of us (which we do 3-4 times a year--the spa for my birthday, dinner for our anniversary, etc).
Most of the time we just decide spur of the moment to do do something and then the kids (who are more than welcome to join us) bail on their boring parents to do something else so it turns out to be just us (and date like).

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Do you get a newspaper with a "weekend" section? Every Thursday, our paper has a special section which lists upcoming weekend events; DBF and I go through that and see what's happening. Especially if it's free or there's a coupon available (I am one of the "underemployed" at the moment)! Of course, a lot of things tend to be seasonal...last month was our town's 4th of July/Taste of the Town event, so we headed there for food and stayed to see Blue Oyster Cult in concert. We know there's a Portuguese festival coming up, so we'll head for that.

We often go to Forest Park or the Quabbin Reservoir to just walk for the afternoon. I fancy myself an amateur photographer, so I usually end up with lots of photos from these walks, too!

We look for conventions that cater to our interests...for example, DBF is a Pez collector, so a few months ago we went to a Pez convention. We will also be taking advantage of Free Museum Day next month and we have tickets for the Salem Witch Museum. And whenever we have to travel somewhere like this, we always google the area first to find a "unique" restaurant for lunch or dinner. I know it's still food, but it's something different than we find at home.

Whenever we go to a movie, we also go before dinner. Simply because we don't like to be rushed through our meal in order to make it to the movie. And even though we don't talk during the movie, he usually will reach over and take my hand. I guess I'm sappy, but for me, that's even better than talking

 

[java]

What do you enjoy doing? You don't have to be alone to reconnect. DH and I and the kids love going hiking together. It's great family time and us time combined.
We spend time alone doing silly things like going out to breakfast and then hitting home depot (ooh sexy)

When we were really in a rut we started having evening date nights after the kids went to bed. We would play games, have a couple drinks, or just talk over fondue.

Talk to him- guys are not mind readers- he probably thinks diner out is pretty good. If you have other ideas- suggest a few.

 

[Kathi OD]

I think its curious that there are posters who say they don't date, but they do go out with their spouse. I guess that is what a date IS to me, which is why I do date my husband.

am interested to know what "date" means then to those who say they don't date their spouse?

To me a date means you set a specific day and time to do a specific thing, but it's more than that. Also, for me, the word "date" has a whole lot of pressure that goes along with it, mostly because when you're "dating", at least one person is trying to impress the other.

Now we do schedule things, but most of our activities are spur of the moment kind of things.

 

[Jennasis]

I have heard many people enjoy going out to a bar or other social event and having your DH "pick you up". Cheesy pick-up lines and all. I mean, you sit at the bar and he comes up and strikes up a conversation, buys you a drink and you chat. Then see where the night takes you!

 

[laughinplace199]

DH surprised me with a helicopter ride once. It was really fun. Another time, we went horse back riding (I had never been).

We also like to browse in furniture stores. We'll often go out to dinner, then wander around a furniture store. It's fun and it also helps us make our wish list for when we redo the rooms in our house.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Here is a list of what we do:

Dinner out. Sometimes to really fancy places, sometimes Taco Bell.
Neighborhood walks.
We are members of L.A. Zoo and go often as we can.
Movies.
We have a lot of town centres near us, you know, shopping areas outdoors with jazz music and we go and walk and window shop.
We work very close to Griffith Park. Walking there after work is fun!
We do our errands together. This is so much fun because we are doing something good AND spending time together.

You'll notice we don't have a lot of "spendy" things that we do. We budget weekly for our vacation fund and once a year we just leave together.

(Note: We don't have kids. But, you can take your kids on neighborhood walks!)

 

[Handbag Lady]

I have heard many people enjoy going out to a bar or other social event and having your DH "pick you up". Cheesy pick-up lines and all. I mean, you sit at the bar and he comes up and strikes up a conversation, buys you a drink and you chat. Then see where the night takes you!

That sounds like a hoot! My husband would never do it, though.